What are your thoughts on coaching your own child? I'll share mine later.
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Don't do it. Horrible headache and you can't win, unless your son is by far the best player on the team. Then it is still a serious pain in the you know what. Plus, your own kid tends to listen better to other people. At least mine do.
Words of wisdom. TRADE OFF. I found out when myself and my assistant coach traded kids everything went so much smoother. Don't coach your own kid. PERIOD.
Depends. I coached mine from 7U through 11U because I was very disappointed in the level of teaching he was getting from other dads previous to me forming a team. I think he got as good a level of coaching (from me) as could be had and I did not play daddy ball.
I knew however one day I would like to put him on a team where I was not the head coach and when we found the right fit I was glad to do so.
So now I find myself coaching his little brother's team (8U)and I want to do this to get him off on the right foot. When the right situation presents itself for him I will get him on another team as well and hope to join the staff as an assistant, which is the best job in the world IMO.
I do agree that they will listen to other coaches far more readliy than their own dads and because of that I want to make sure that what "other dad coaches" are telling him is something that makes sense.
I knew however one day I would like to put him on a team where I was not the head coach and when we found the right fit I was glad to do so.
So now I find myself coaching his little brother's team (8U)and I want to do this to get him off on the right foot. When the right situation presents itself for him I will get him on another team as well and hope to join the staff as an assistant, which is the best job in the world IMO.
I do agree that they will listen to other coaches far more readliy than their own dads and because of that I want to make sure that what "other dad coaches" are telling him is something that makes sense.
I had opportunity to coach my son in high school. I had reservations but i decided to let somebody else do it. It is a no win situation. Your son could be the best player ever to put on a pair of cleats and to some he is playing because he is your son. If you do not play him or pinch hit for him you have to go home and eat dinner.
I never had a problem with parents about playing time. We sat everyone an equal amount of innings as close as I could make it work including jr. And we had a rotation system worked out where most players got to pitch and play a primary infield and outfield postion they were suited for.
My son did play short stop and other positions but it was because he could not becasue I was his dad.
We had several others that played ss too.
This was young kids ball so even though we played at the Majors level I kept them rotating quite a bit, sometimes to our disadvantage. I saw few other teams we competeted against that had the same philosophy.
We also batted the entire roster, even in elimination and championship games, again sometimes to our detrement but I never viewed a 9,10,11 yo game as all that important even if a $5 trophy was a stake.
My son did play short stop and other positions but it was because he could not becasue I was his dad.
We had several others that played ss too.
This was young kids ball so even though we played at the Majors level I kept them rotating quite a bit, sometimes to our disadvantage. I saw few other teams we competeted against that had the same philosophy.
We also batted the entire roster, even in elimination and championship games, again sometimes to our detrement but I never viewed a 9,10,11 yo game as all that important even if a $5 trophy was a stake.
I coached my oldest in 12YO All Stars and it was very painful. He and I argued quite a bit (I had high expectations for his behavior) and we just didn't get along. He didn't play much because he didn't earn it through his skill or attitude.
Fast forward a year.
After All Stars he went to play on a club team with another coach and did fantastic. There was no pressure from the other coach and he started hitting, fielding, and leading his team with hustle and aggressiveness. It was a totally different kid.
Then he needed a coach for his 13YO old team. I agreed to do it with the mindset that I would put NO PRESSURE on the kids. Except to have fun and learn some new skills in practice.
Guess what? My son and I got along great.
I have a younger guy as well who is playing 9-10YO ball now. He and I have always gotten along very well with me as the coach. I ask, he does. No problem. Plenty of hustle and good attitude. Easiest kid in the world to coach.
So I guess it depends on the kid!
As for the pressure of who gets playing time, etc. I don't worry about what people think if I play my son. I am putting all the effort in to help everyone's kids. If my son earns his playing time with good attitude, hustle, and results. Then so be it.
Fast forward a year.
After All Stars he went to play on a club team with another coach and did fantastic. There was no pressure from the other coach and he started hitting, fielding, and leading his team with hustle and aggressiveness. It was a totally different kid.
Then he needed a coach for his 13YO old team. I agreed to do it with the mindset that I would put NO PRESSURE on the kids. Except to have fun and learn some new skills in practice.
Guess what? My son and I got along great.
I have a younger guy as well who is playing 9-10YO ball now. He and I have always gotten along very well with me as the coach. I ask, he does. No problem. Plenty of hustle and good attitude. Easiest kid in the world to coach.
So I guess it depends on the kid!
As for the pressure of who gets playing time, etc. I don't worry about what people think if I play my son. I am putting all the effort in to help everyone's kids. If my son earns his playing time with good attitude, hustle, and results. Then so be it.
I'll confine this to baseball and softball.
My daughter is the oldest. I coached all the way from 7/8 machine pitch through her first two years of 18U Gold showcase travel. At seventeen and already set for college she played for a more casual team. I didn't coach. It was never a problem. I wasn't the head coach starting at age fifteen.
I started coaching my son in 7/8 machine pitch. I coached him through 16U ball last year when he was fifteen. I was head coach until last year. Last year I noticed my son starting to glare back at me at times even if he did what I said. I started thinking coaching him any further might be a bad idea. He played for an 18U fall ball team for another coach. He seemed more relaxed. When a couple of 16U showcase feeder teams contacted me I told them I think my son needs a kick in the rear to the next level I believe will cause confrontation if I provide it. I'm no longer coaching.
I started coaching so my kids would learn proper fundamentals and learn to enjoy the game. I enjoyed teaching and coaching the game. I just kept coaching. I've never found coaching my kids to be part of any problems surrounding the team.
I have a baseball background. So when my kids were recruited, I was brought along except my son's team this year does not allow parents to coach. Since this team plays too much to have organized practices in season, I run practices where I'm instructing my son and other players from his and other teams.
When my kids were younger I heard the "He/she plays short and bats high in the order because of dad." I tuned it out. It ended in middle school when I wasn't coaching. My son was still the shortstop and batted high in the order. In my daughter's situation it was obvious there was a better shortstop who was never her teammate in rec or travel. She moved to center, but still batted high in the order. The complainer parent's kids were out of the game by high school varsity.
My daughter was never a problem to coach. My son and I had our first confrontation in 10U basketball. I asked him if he would respond the same way to anyone else. I told him if he wanted me to continue coaching in any sport he would have to respond to me the same as any other coach. I told him I would treat him like any other player of his ability. My only out of the box expectation was he had to be a role model for showing up on time and how he conducted himself. I didn't want players to have any excuse to carry themselves at any level level of conduct than the coach's kid. The next confrontation/glaring was at fifteen year's old.
The irony of my kid's adaptability to the situation is my daughter is the intense one. I never had a problem with her. My son is far more easy going. But he can be stubborn.
My daughter is the oldest. I coached all the way from 7/8 machine pitch through her first two years of 18U Gold showcase travel. At seventeen and already set for college she played for a more casual team. I didn't coach. It was never a problem. I wasn't the head coach starting at age fifteen.
I started coaching my son in 7/8 machine pitch. I coached him through 16U ball last year when he was fifteen. I was head coach until last year. Last year I noticed my son starting to glare back at me at times even if he did what I said. I started thinking coaching him any further might be a bad idea. He played for an 18U fall ball team for another coach. He seemed more relaxed. When a couple of 16U showcase feeder teams contacted me I told them I think my son needs a kick in the rear to the next level I believe will cause confrontation if I provide it. I'm no longer coaching.
I started coaching so my kids would learn proper fundamentals and learn to enjoy the game. I enjoyed teaching and coaching the game. I just kept coaching. I've never found coaching my kids to be part of any problems surrounding the team.
I have a baseball background. So when my kids were recruited, I was brought along except my son's team this year does not allow parents to coach. Since this team plays too much to have organized practices in season, I run practices where I'm instructing my son and other players from his and other teams.
When my kids were younger I heard the "He/she plays short and bats high in the order because of dad." I tuned it out. It ended in middle school when I wasn't coaching. My son was still the shortstop and batted high in the order. In my daughter's situation it was obvious there was a better shortstop who was never her teammate in rec or travel. She moved to center, but still batted high in the order. The complainer parent's kids were out of the game by high school varsity.
My daughter was never a problem to coach. My son and I had our first confrontation in 10U basketball. I asked him if he would respond the same way to anyone else. I told him if he wanted me to continue coaching in any sport he would have to respond to me the same as any other coach. I told him I would treat him like any other player of his ability. My only out of the box expectation was he had to be a role model for showing up on time and how he conducted himself. I didn't want players to have any excuse to carry themselves at any level level of conduct than the coach's kid. The next confrontation/glaring was at fifteen year's old.
The irony of my kid's adaptability to the situation is my daughter is the intense one. I never had a problem with her. My son is far more easy going. But he can be stubborn.
Some of my best memories to date. Been coaching 11 years of HS, and usually "help" with my sons teams. Nothing like seeing him doing so well. I remember as a little guy, 6 years old, he's playing 8u, and him sitting on the bucket near me when they are hitting, or him on the end of the dugout working on his swing with his shin guards on during the 5th game of a 6 game Sunday! While I have been fortunate to coach some great kids, none are greater than mine. As he gets older it could be difficult (luckily he is good as mentioned above) but so far its been awesome!
A lot of it depends on who dad is, what he understands about the game and how realistic he is about his son.
I help my son's 9U team right now and it's working out great. As therefump said, the head coach and I do a lot of the coaching with each other's kid - he talks more to mine than I do and vice versa.
My son is a solid player but no superstar. He's a phenomenal kid, though, and WANTS me to help.....but knows that he won't get special treatment.
Addressing the situation with the parents of the other kids is key too - they know that I am a varsity head coach that will help ALL the kids and that my son will sit the bench just like everyone else...so they are happy to have me helping their son.
Again, I think it comes down to how the dad handles it. Can be tough, though.
I help my son's 9U team right now and it's working out great. As therefump said, the head coach and I do a lot of the coaching with each other's kid - he talks more to mine than I do and vice versa.
My son is a solid player but no superstar. He's a phenomenal kid, though, and WANTS me to help.....but knows that he won't get special treatment.
Addressing the situation with the parents of the other kids is key too - they know that I am a varsity head coach that will help ALL the kids and that my son will sit the bench just like everyone else...so they are happy to have me helping their son.
Again, I think it comes down to how the dad handles it. Can be tough, though.
