Commander-in-Chief

quote:

I know we all want what's best for our kids, but have you been the one to fill out those applications, made the phone calls, asked for more playing time for your son, decided what college program you think is best for him, paid for showcases without telling him, given him lessons he hasn't wanted to take, signed him up for a showcase without asking, spoken on his behalf to a coach without the coach knowing who he is, contacted MLB scouts, etc.

TPM, I'll bite and be honest too. The answer to all of the above is NO. But I did always want the best for them.

I'll bite too...

No phone calls
No talking to coaches without having met my son
No asking for more playing time

He decided what college program was best for him from the choices he had

Plead guilty to signing him up for showcases he didn't necessarily want to go to, and for lessons he wouldn't have taken on his own. (Just to be an equal opportunity oppressor, we gave our daughter singing and dance lessons she might not have taken otherwise too)

We went over the MLB questionaires together.

Result: He will go to a good school and play baseball, has had good coaching, and he still talks to me!

Am I a benevolent dictator, or just trying to be a good parent?

quote:

I know we all want what's best for our kids, but have you been the one to fill out those applications, made the phone calls, asked for more playing time for your son, decided what college program you think is best for him, paid for showcases without telling him, given him lessons he hasn't wanted to take, signed him up for a showcase without asking, spoken on his behalf to a coach without the coach knowing who he is, contacted MLB scouts, etc.

Never did any of those. My son drove his own ship and continues to do so. I've learned over the past few weeks that it's easy to allow them to be the commander when they're rowing the way you want them to row. It's much harder when they take a path that's different from what you had in mind.

quote:

I've learned over the past few weeks that it's easy to allow them to be the commander when they're rowing the way you want them to row. It's much harder when they take a path that's different from what you had in mind.

So true....that's why his father and I sometimes take the oars back and row a little while ourselves!

My son has wanted to do nothing but play baseball since age 4. Luckily he is smart so has done well in school. He would go to any showcase, any game, any time. When asked to start considering colleges - his input was "I don't care, I just want to go some place that has students and a baseball team". Well that narrowed it down. So, husband and I did research for academics, location, cost, chances to make team etc. and made a list. But we have never signed him up for anything without asking him. (He never says no if its baseball related) When we started visiting or sending him to camps, he would cross some off the list. His #1 choice is totally his. We haven't made the phone calls etc. He does that. I haven't been his commander, but I have definitely been his secretary, though.

I have been nothing but a supporter. He got the invite to the PG National. I never said a word. He told me he really wanted to go. So I did what it took for him to go. He got letters from schools I put them on his bed. He filled them out. I helped him when he had a question about them. He answered his own emails and did all the talking on the phone to coaches including the school he decided to go to. I have never told him he needed to hit or throw or work out. But I never turned him down and never will Lord willing. To me its his show. And I will support him to the best of my ability.

quote:

Originally posted by Tiger Paw Mom:
I remember asking about attending a showcase...

Don't take this the wrong way but it struck me as funny reading this. Your involvement in the process is awesome. It's just that I can't even fathom my wife being involved like you are and I doubt she even knows what a showcase is. I'm guessing she assumes that's my "job"?

You (and all the others here) are great moms. Keep it up!

quote:

Originally posted by Beezer:

quote:

Originally posted by Tiger Paw Mom:
I remember asking about attending a showcase...

Don't take this the wrong way but it struck me as funny reading this. Your involvement in the process is awesome. It's just that I can't even fathom my wife being involved like you are and I doubt she even knows what a showcase is. I'm guessing she assumes that's my "job"?

You (and all the others here) are great moms. Keep it up!

Beez, Last year my son's college coach told him how he'd heard from another coach (a poster here) that I was baseball smart. My son, who happens to agree, went on to back those thoughts up. He said the coach went on to make a comment that he hadn't known many moms like that. I told my son that I guess he just didn't visit HSBBW, because there's bunches of 'em!

quote:

Beez, Last year my son's college coach told him how he'd heard from another coach (a poster here) that I was baseball smart. My son, who happens to agree, went on to back those thoughts up. He said the coach went on to make a comment that he hadn't known many moms like that. I told my son that I guess he just didn't visit HSBBW, because there's bunches of 'em!

I have NEVER contacted, much less 'talked', to any coach once my son reached high school. Let's just say I know my son wouldn't like it, and honestly....coaches 'intimidate' me a bit. Anyway, last summer I was visiting my son while he played summerball in Arizona. I was sitting in the stands next to a gentleman...I just assumed it was another baseball "dad"...and got gabbing "baseball" with him. Very nice "dad" who was very shocked that I knew "so much" about baseball as a mom. Well, after the SECOND day of talking to this nice man, he fessed up and told me he was NC State's coach!!!! My mouth about hit the ground as I had NEVER spoken to a coach before...and I apologized profusely and told him had I KNOWN he was a coach, I wouldn't have continued up conversation with him (which I think kind of surprised him). He asked how I knew so much about baseball, and collegeball...and I told him about the HSBB site. Anyway, I learned two things that weekend:

1. College coaches aren't so intimidating when they are in "regular" clothes.

2. The HSBB is a wonderful wealth of information (but we already know that! ).

Thanks Beezer.
I didn't know half what I know now when my son was going through the process. And Mr. TPM new nothing. I had been in marketing and advertising for years, so hey, I tried to use someof that knowledge in the process. I made suggestions, but he made the choices.

I was interested in one thing, my son getting an education, baseball was second. Pro after HS was an after thought. I wanted him to be able to make the most of the situation. His good grades and whatever talent he had was the key, I just went with the flow. For us, everything fell into place nicely without spending tons and tons of money and obtaining a scholarship that wouldn't cause too much debt for him or us.

BTW, we never set foot on one college campus before his senior year, that's how clueless I was about unofficial visits. I know that the process has changed, but it is about the same now as it was back then, with a different set of rules.

We had a roller coaster ride too, even being a prospect in HS, brings its own set of circumstances.

I never talked to coaches or scouts unless they approached us or called here specifically to speak to us.

As many of you know, I am very friendly with DK's pitching coach and have been for many years. He is one of those who likes to help people. He told me that if I have any questions, never hesitate to ask, so I took him up on it, and began doing my own self help, even after the process. Maybe if the HSBBW didn't exist, I would have not pursued finding out info. I realized that there are so many people who really needed help trying to figure out as best as they could how to go about it. I do it as a hobby. I have made many friends along the way. I get pm's all the time from folks who are too afraid to ask a question and this past month a whole bunch from parents whose kids have signed or heading out on official visits. I love that.

Of course, after he got into college I had to concentrate on what I needed to know for him to go beyond the college game. DK's coach helped me with that as well. The best part was that he (DK) had lots of people trying to help him get ahead, his parents (by this time Mr. TPM was learning), his coaches and a great advisor, scouts, etc. I have learned one thing, everyone you meet along the ride maybe somewhat involved in the process. An example, the Yankee scout who offered my son an opportunity out of HS (he turned down) is now an integral part of the Cardinals organization. So you never know who you (or your son) will meet on the journey who might someday affect an important decision for your family.

The funny part, I really didn't know a whole lot about the game of baseball, I was just an observer.

Luvbb,
Coaches and scouts are people too! Some even like to hang out at the local watering hole.

No, he was required to do all the heavy lifting. I researched and found out as much info as possible to give him so he could make educated decisions but they were on him. I was the one who said no to showcases and teams. He was required to do all the talking and filled out all the questionaires. It was obvious he wanted to go pro, so we thought it was imperative that he grow up as quick as possible in his baseball maturity. Once he was injured I took over most of the communication because that would have been cruel. Felt comfortable when he moved away at 17. Have had little if anything to do with it since except for advice and consent.

I believe a book needs to be written by members of HSBBW, develop a new folder and everyone contributes. All proceeds go to HSBBW for all the help they have given all of us.

I beleive that would be a great idea.

Most likely many have come and read all the information, gathered on their own and charging for knowledge. On some web sites, they have used without permission some of the recruiting info compiled by Bob years ago. There are also many many people here who have most likey helped their son's secure a scholarship by reading and following what others have done.

That in itself should be a reason to donate to the HSBBW.

Texan Son did all of his own contacting. He emailed or called coaches during his junior year to arrange visits. He met with the coaches alone. We only met the coach if the coach specifically requested to my son that we meet.

On campus visits, the coaches generally asked to be introduced to us. But saying "howdy" was pretty much the extent of the conversation. When Texan Son visited with coaches before a game (well before, of course) or after a game, coaches typically didn't worry about an intro to the parents.

I think it was a great experience for him.