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I attended the vast majority of my son's high school and college games. Each one was precious, and I tried to treat them that way.

If I'd ever needed any additional motivation (I didn't.), a story a friend told me sometime during my son's high school career would have provided it. A fine athlete who'd been on the golf team at an SEC school, told me one day at lunch that he'd been a pretty good baseball player in high school. However, he'd suddenly lost interest in it.

"Why'd you lose interest so abruptly," I asked? "My dad suddenly stopped coming to games," he replied. "...and, it never was the same after that."

Last edited by Prepster

For my son's freshman thru junior year I made it to as many HS games as I could - missed a few here and there due to work. I don't remember exactly but I think I made it to about 85-90% of his games his freshman, sophomore and junior years. For his senior year I was at every game (home and away).  Used a lot vacation time that spring.  Even made all the playoff games his senior year - district, regionals and to the state quarterfinals.  It was a good ride.

At college we couldn't make every game (the school was 250+ miles away), but on average we made the trip at least once a month, more if finances allowed.  On a few occasions an away series was actually closer and those we definitely attended.  He always glad we came.

Francis, baseball is often one of the least friendly HS sports when it comes to game start times and how they line up with the average person's work schedule.  There are PLENTY of parents that can't make lots of games or have to show up late most of the time.  There are also plenty of parents who have multiple kids participating in various activities so some sort of rotation is necessary.  Then, there are still plenty more who may work nights or take care of senior parents or special needs kids or any number of other responsibilities.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that if that is the circumstance one is in.  In those instances, a parent can show they care just as much by engaging in conversation afterward about how the games went or by having another parent who is there give them the play-by-play.   If you are in the fortunate position to be able to attend regularly, enjoy and appreciate.  If not, there are plenty of ways to be there without being there.

cabbagedad posted:

Francis, baseball is often one of the least friendly HS sports when it comes to game start times and how they line up with the average person's work schedule.  There are PLENTY of parents that can't make lots of games or have to show up late most of the time.  There are also plenty of parents who have multiple kids participating in various activities so some sort of rotation is necessary.  Then, there are still plenty more who may work nights or take care of senior parents or special needs kids or any number of other responsibilities.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that if that is the circumstance one is in.  In those instances, a parent can show they care just as much by engaging in conversation afterward about how the games went or by having another parent who is there give them the play-by-play.   If you are in the fortunate position to be able to attend regularly, enjoy and appreciate.  If not, there are plenty of ways to be there without being there.

Good post.

It’s also worth mentioning that some schools that have the means to do so will stream the games live online.

I’m a working Mom with a demanding job and I travel too. Getting to the games is absolutely a priority for me, but when I have to be at work, I have to be at work.  I’ve made a majority of my son’s home games (although I don’t always make it to the field by start time) and the away games that I can depending on distance/time to get there.  On weekends I’m at all games - I don’t let anything else get in the way. I agree with Cabbage. Go whenever you can but don’t beat yourself up when you can’t. If you show your son you care, he’ll understand. 

Finally, there are some parents who really shouldn’t be at every game because they stress their kids out. Having the self awareness on that point is critical. 

cabbagedad posted:

Francis, baseball is often one of the least friendly HS sports when it comes to game start times and how they line up with the average person's work schedule.  There are PLENTY of parents that can't make lots of games or have to show up late most of the time.  There are also plenty of parents who have multiple kids participating in various activities so some sort of rotation is necessary.  Then, there are still plenty more who may work nights or take care of senior parents or special needs kids or any number of other responsibilities.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with that if that is the circumstance one is in.  In those instances, a parent can show they care just as much by engaging in conversation afterward about how the games went or by having another parent who is there give them the play-by-play.   If you are in the fortunate position to be able to attend regularly, enjoy and appreciate.  If not, there are plenty of ways to be there without being there.

Thank you for taking the time to make this post and sharing what's in it.  Great post and it's appreciated.

(More on my story to come later.)

90% plus of HS school games. College has dropped to about 75 or 80% 

I plan my work schedule around them, rain outs are the biggest problem from my perspective. 

IMO these are precious times and I just make a commitment to not missing them. Right now I am juggling college baseball, college softball and HS baseball. 6 days a week and sometimes 7 are balls games from late Feb to late May. 

 

Last edited by old_school

I missed all of my older son’s home games his freshman year because I was the announcer for the Varsity squad. That said, I made sure I had my phone on with the Gamechanger app so I could follow the action. After that season I have not missed a single game. College will be a tougher challenge, however. It was always my plan to retire at the end of my son’s HS years so that we could catch his college games, but he will be on the other coast. So we will see how many I can make. 

I’d like to give a shout out to the pitchers parents who come out to support the teams whether their kid is on the mound or not...that is being a real fan!

I have twins, one plays softball, the other baseball.  I can say I never missed "game day" but often have to pick between the two. 

Sometimes the wife and I strategically split the games.  But, there are times we're both at the same game (if my son is pitching, or we know he's not), and we feel terrible.  But the kids understand.

2022OFDad posted:

I missed all of my older son’s home games his freshman year because I was the announcer for the Varsity squad. That said, I made sure I had my phone on with the Gamechanger app so I could follow the action. After that season I have not missed a single game. College will be a tougher challenge, however. It was always my plan to retire at the end of my son’s HS years so that we could catch his college games, but he will be on the other coast. So we will see how many I can make. 

I’d like to give a shout out to the pitchers parents who come out to support the teams whether their kid is on the mound or not...that is being a real fan!

Funny I am using the 8 years of HS and college to kind of phase out and retire after the bills are paid. It is the primary reason I am able to make it happen. In the process a funny thing happened, I like work quite a bit more phasing out... I am actually thinking about extending it a couple extra years. 

I attend every game possible - with work , it is not always possible, but I'd say I make 90% maybe miss one or two a season.  Sometimes I get there a bit late, as games here start at 4:30.  The older he (and I LOL) get, the less I say - a few positive cheers and claps for good plays here and there and that's about it.  When he pitches, I stay away from the crowd - too nervous and I get annoyed too easily even though other parents/fans are just being nice or chatting.  Just don't want to hear anything or talk, not even with my better half lol.

My son is now a freshmen.  He’s been playing baseball since he was 6 and started with T-ball.  (If you can call T-ball baseball?)  Between rec/Little League, travel baseball, and MS baseball, he’s probably played close to 400 games over the last 9 years.  For sure, it’s been way over 300 games.  And, I have been to 99% of his games.  I never missed a rec game.  I’ve been to every single one of his travel games.  And, over the last 2 years, I made all of his middle school games with the exception of a couple that I just couldn’t swing getting there. 

This was all the result of being blessed with some very good flexibility in terms of my work schedule and/or some very accommodating bosses.

Now, it looks like there’s a good chance that I just MAY be presented with a new employment opportunity.  This would greatly improve finances for my family.  But, it would prevent me from attending almost every HS game that he plays this year with the exception of two games they have scheduled on Saturdays.  All the other games – around 16 of them – I would have almost no shot at getting there even just for the last inning.

When I raised this with my wife, her response was “How is this even a question?”

And, she’s right.  I’m not an idiot.  And, we have more expenses coming with a daughter who starts college in 2020.  But, I feel TERRIBLE over the thought of missing his HS games.  It’s been such a long road and now there’s not many years left – plus, these are games that are actually starting to mean something compared to those early games on the small field, etc.

I’ve talked about it with my son.  He didn’t hesitate to say “It’s not a big deal.  Now you will be like all the other dads who had to miss for work.  At least you had a chance to see games for all those years and can still see my travel games on the weekend.”

If I am offered the job, I am taking it and will miss his games.  It would be insane to do anything else.  But, I started this thread because I was curious how common it was for dad to miss HS games.   Looks like it’s not as common as one would suspect?

Just to add on:  My wife should make almost every game for him.  She only works part-time a few days a week.  So, it’s not like he won’t have a parent there to watch him play.  But, her game reporting and video-taking skills are not nearly remotely close to my high standards!  :-)

Fortunately the company I work for is very family friendly so it was easy to leave the office at 2:30 or 3:00 each day to make it to a game.  I did go through a period of time his Soph year where I had to travel out of town every week for a good portion of an entire year.  Fortunately I was able to work my schedule around some and make about 50% of the weekday games.  I was home on the weekends for the Saturday games.  I was able to follow the missed games on game changer.  Other then the Soph year I would say I attended 95% of his games.

I'll say that I made about 90% of the high school games.  The games I didn't make, I watched on Gamechanger. The guys at work know to give me a break if I'm staring at my phone.  They know what's up.

Francis: I do not envy your position. There were several games that I missed because overtime was available and the trips to Florida and Atlanta don't pay for themselves! I didn't like it, but it was necessary. Your sons answer of "just like the other dads" is a heartbreaker... even if he didn't mean it to be.

Like most others, I try to make every game that I can. Travel/work has interfered at times but the same word came to mind that Prepster used...."precious." This has been illustrated for us very clearly with injury sidelining my son since late May of last year. We are well beyond withdrawal mode . These games are truly a thing to be cherished but life does get in the way sometimes.

Francis, if it's any consolation, most schools don't make up freshman/JV games that are cancelled due to weather.  So you may not miss as many as you think. 

When my son was a freshman, they ended up playing only 12 games.  I remember thinking "all this work to have him play HS baseball, and they only played 12 games! What a let down"

Francis7 posted:

 

 But, her game reporting and video-taking skills are not nearly remotely close to my high standards!  :-)

I would never tell a man how to handle his finances, obviously a difficult choice. 

The bolded above I totally understand!! my report will say bomb caught deep...my conversation that night with be - mom said you made a good swing on your last AB that got caught...and the response will be - long lazy fly off the end a bit...followed up by I smoked a ball first AB  before mom got there....LOL. 

old_school posted:
Francis7 posted:

 

 But, her game reporting and video-taking skills are not nearly remotely close to my high standards!  :-)

I would never tell a man how to handle his finances, obviously a difficult choice. 

The bolded above I totally understand!! my report will say bomb caught deep...my conversation that night with be - mom said you made a good swing on your last AB that got caught...and the response will be - long lazy fly off the end a bit...followed up by I smoked a ball first AB  before mom got there....LOL. 

Ha, I don't know what was more difficult to develop, my kid's softball/baseball skills or my wife's text updates.

I'm proud to say my wife has come a long way from "she hit it"

Having to make that choice would certainly eat me up, but you have to do what's right for your family.  And a far as your son goes, it sounds like he knows the difference between a parent being indifferent and a parent taking care of his responsibilities.  That said, to be honest, if your son is playing Frosh baseball, those games can really be sh!tshows. The real games come when he gets to Varsity, and who knows but that your flexibility at work might change by then.

Son #1 is now a Sr. at a mid major.  Never missed a HS game.  In college we've made 95% of all home games, and we've probably traveled to 50% of away games (always make Tuesday games), but sometime they travel 600+ miles for conference weekends and that is not feasible, due to.......

Son #2 is a  Freshman in HS and will start on varsity.  One of us has always been at his games (usually me if we have to split up). 

This year it gets more difficult.  HS games are on Tue/Fri.............College games are Tue/Fri/Sat/Sun (and it is his last season).  Selfishly we are hoping that #1 is the starting P on Sat or Sun, then it all works out.  Otherwise we'll have to split up and divide and conquer with me going to #2 on Tue/Fri and then #1 on Sat/Sun, with wife seeing HS on days that she has to work in our hometown and can't drive the 45 miles to #1's games. She's very sentimental that this is #1's last year and we've been doing this for 18 years .

We missed perfectly timing this by 1 year.  We make the joke that we're NEVER home in the spring/summer from Feb-mid August, but once September gets here, we are really bored...................

Wouldn't trade it for the world, and hopefully get another 8+ years of it, the grandkids!!!!!!

 

Last edited by russinfortworth

I unfortunately missed most of my son's games his freshman year.  I was upset i had to miss a couple meaningful opportunities for him.  Games typically start at 3:45 and I have to work until at least 4 and am an hour away.  I made the last 2 innings typically.  Good news my son did not mind at all.  He understands.  However I am going to try to make as many games as possible this year, he is now a Jr.  I realize how fleeting these moments are.  our parents set up a text chain for updates but hopefully this year we can film some of the games.  Is FB live the best format? do others typically have their games filmed?

JCG posted:

Having to make that choice would certainly eat me up, but you have to do what's right for your family.  And a far as your son goes, it sounds like he knows the difference between a parent being indifferent and a parent taking care of his responsibilities.  That said, to be honest, if your son is playing Frosh baseball, those games can really be sh!tshows. The real games come when he gets to Varsity, and who knows but that your flexibility at work might change by then.

That's sort of my plan IF I do get this job. I am going to work my butt off for that first year and make myself so valuable to them that they (hopefully!) will be willing to be flexible with his HS games when he is a Soph->Senior.

Between my wife and I we have attended 100% of his games.  My daughter is a travel softball player and some of her practices or traveling to out of town tournaments means that we have to divide and conquer.  I also told my umpiring assigner that I could either work early high school games or I could just block out the days that he was playing all together and he was willing to work with me.  I know that I have traveled 45 minutes to an hour after one of my games just to get to one of his even if I knew he wasn't going to play (he was an 8th grader on the JV).

I attended most of my son's games. During one busy time at work, I took my laptop and worked during the games using a hot spot. After a few games, my son came to me and said "mom, if you don't have time to come to my games, don't come. Either be there, or don't."

Ouch.

Dropped the laptop and when I got there, I was there, and when I missed, I knew he understood.

I also became the go to texter for parents who couldn't get there, sharing inning-by-inning updates from games. Pretty ironic considering my first job in journalism was as a sports writer for my hometown paper, and I got fired.

Francis7 posted:
JCG posted:

Having to make that choice would certainly eat me up, but you have to do what's right for your family.  And a far as your son goes, it sounds like he knows the difference between a parent being indifferent and a parent taking care of his responsibilities.  That said, to be honest, if your son is playing Frosh baseball, those games can really be sh!tshows. The real games come when he gets to Varsity, and who knows but that your flexibility at work might change by then.

That's sort of my plan IF I do get this job. I am going to work my butt off for that first year and make myself so valuable to them that they (hopefully!) will be willing to be flexible with his HS games when he is a Soph->Senior.

From what I've seen so far (I'm a couple of years ahead of you in the process) if you have to miss an entire season of ball, freshman year of HS is it.

Francis7 posted:

That's sort of my plan IF I do get this job. I am going to work my butt off for that first year and make myself so valuable to them that they (hopefully!) will be willing to be flexible with his HS games when he is a Soph->Senior.

I can tell you that plan has worked for me. I've worked plenty of long hours, been the guy who stays late when there's a problem, covered for teammates, etc. Building up that capital paid off when it came time to bolt at 3:30pm for a high school game. In hindsight, I think my son learned something from that process, too. He understood that I could only get to all those games because I was busting my ass the rest of the time.

You question reminded me of one of his varsity games that was rescheduled to a day when I was having labrum surgery on my shoulder. My wife drove me straight from the SurgiCenter to the field, still a little groggy from the anesthesia. I made it to my spot down the right field line before first pitch. When he took his position in the field, he looked over at me (complete with big padded sling and bandages) and just shook his head and smiled.

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