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Nicholas,

I wanted players who abide by the rules of the team. That were never late, were always ready and alert. Players that understood we were there to accomplish amazing things.

That said, I wanted lots of laughter and fun anytime it didn't interfer with our purpose. I always wanted everyone to have a lot of fun including myself. I had players who later became close friends, but everyone was told right from the beginning... It makes no difference if you like me, what's most important is whether or not I like you and You don't need to try or do anything to get me to like you but you do need to do something in order to get me to not like you.

I had very few problems and for the most part had a lot of fun and had great kids who would run through a wall to win a baseball game. Don't know what category that would be.
Last edited by PGStaff
I'm not sure we have enough space to properly discuss this topic. I'm only a summer coach, and I do believe that the attitude and relationship in summer baseball is, of necessity, different than during high school season. Summer baseball is very serious, but also more laid back in a lot of ways. I think most people who know me would say I'm a player's coach, but that is as long as the players are taking care of their responsibilities. The standard I strive for with my players is that they are to conduct themselves in a manner that college coaches would expect of their players, and as long as they take care of their end, I'm pretty darned easy to play for.

I think the greatest testament to the relationships I've built with my players are when they go off to play in college, and then some of them email or call me to come to their games when they're around our area. I enjoyed them when they were playing for me, and really enjoy seeing them now that they're playing college ball. I believe you can have relationships with your players that'll last long after you coached them on the field, it just takes both sides of the equation to understand and live up to their respective end of the deal. And understand that there are limits that should be respected.
How do we define friendly ?????

I do not like my coaches playimg cards with them?
I do not like my coaches going out to dinner with them?
I do not like my coaches "hanging" with them?

To prevent a lot of over friendly situations we like to have the parents with their player---this prevents a lot of situations
---if a player wants to meet with the coaches I attend and make sure all goes well


I like my coaches to have a good relationship with the players but not overboard friendly---if there are discipline questions I leave them out of it--you know the good cop bad cop situation


Basically my coaches take care of baseball and I take care of business. Unless there is a specific reason, I am never in the dugout--I sit outside and keep score and chart number of pitches.

To date it has worked for us
First you are their coach / teacher. With this role there are pretty definate boundaries. This lasts until graduation. If you do this job correctly then a few years after graduation you can now be friends. By this point the lessons you taught them in baseball (or any sport) have hopefully taken root and they are now fine young men.

Always remember when they are players you are a man and able to do "manly" things. They are not men yet but on the way. Several years after graduation they are now men and it's possible to be friends.
How about coaches being friendly with parents? How would you view coaches who socialize with a few parents on a regular basis.

In a situation that I have seen, coach has a middle school son same age as brother to one of the high school players. Out of necessity, the two middle school players are together in rec and travel ball. Coach spends a lot of time with these parents (at ball fields, in their home, etc.)

HS Player is good and earns his spot. But parents seem to know everything about team (who is pitching, who is going to hit where in the lineup, etc.) Problem is that they are ringleaders of the "clique" who critique and voice lineup/positions opinions openly at the games. Then when the changes happen, they take partial credit for making it happen.

It really isn't politics, but it does have an air of distaste that they are somewhat running the team when they are not.
quote:
I do believe that the attitude and relationship in summer baseball is, of necessity, different than during high school season.
I agree with this statement. Summer ball with trips is more of a family than school ball. But just like a family a coach has to be the dad, not one of the gang. I've had some good laughs with players. But I'll point out if they're in danger of crossing the line. I can laugh at myself. But the coaching staff needs respect.

The team my son and I left after last season was coming apart at the seams. The players didn't respect the head coach. He got to close to the players. They dumped on him like a buddy. He would return the exchange.

One time when the head coach flipped out on the players when it wasn't needed, I told a group grumbling in the corner of the dugout to respect the coach and the comments and tune out the way it was delivered. They laughed and said they tuned him out weeks ago. The only positive interaction with the head coach was dumping on him and he didn't realize it. He thought he was in charge because he screamed and they went silent.
The key is to ADDRESS the issue ahead of time. I am friendly with my players, but I am not their friend. They understand that I am the coach and that they can share things with me and use me as a resource to help them....but that I'm not a colleague or a teammate and they know that. To be a "players' coach" to me is not an insult - to me, it means that they want to play for me because they know I will always do what I can to help them develop as young men AND as ballplayers. Again, the key is to make sure players know where the line is drawn and to be willing to send them back over the line if they try to cross it. Good discipline will take care of it most of the time.
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We want to build a championship baseball program, but we also want to teach life lessons, work ethic, and character. Am I the only one on here like this?

No, you are one of many. However, as a baseball coach I've always considered things like life lessons secondary to teaching baseball lessons. Good work ethic is mandatory and if I had to teach that I'm wasting my time. Good character is based on what happens at home, long before I was their baseball coach.

I think all these things are great and many coaches mention these things. But I was always hired to coach baseball and my goals were to run a first class program. I wouldn't recruit kids without a good work ethic or bad character. Also being a disciplinarian and having a lot of fun can easily work together.

Sorry, sometimes when I hear about all these life lesson teachers, I picture something much bigger and more important than a baseball coach. Yes, I understand that baseball can provide some life lessons, but so does everything else in life!

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