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APPLICATION FOR PERMISSION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless
accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and
current medical report from your doctor.

NAME_____________________________________ DATE OF BIRTH_____________

HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________ IQ__________ GPA_____________

SOCIAL SECURITY #_________________ DRIVERS LICENSE #________________

BOY SCOUT RANK AND BADGES__________________________________________

HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______

Do you have parents? ___Yes ___No
Is one male and the other female? ___Yes ___No
If No, explain:
_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________

Number of years they have been married ______________________________

If less than your age, explain

________________________________________________________________


____________________________________________________________________


ACCESSORIES SECTION:

A. Do you own or have access to a van? __Yes __No

B. A truck with oversized tires? __Yes __No

C. A waterbed? __Yes __No

D. A pickup with a mattress in the back? __Yes __No

E. A tattoo? __Yes __No

F. Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No
pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION
AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. I SUGGEST RUNNING.)


ESSAY SECTION:

In 50 words or less, what does 'LATE' mean to you?

__________________________ ____________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

In 50 words or less, what does 'ABSTINENCE' mean to you?

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________


REFERENCES SECTION:

Church you attend ___________________________________________________

How often you attend ________________________________ ________________

When would be the best time to interview your:

father? _____________

mother? _____________

pastor? _____________


SHORT-ANSWER SECTION:

Answer by filling in the blank. Please answer freely, all answers
are confidential.

A: If I were shot, the last place I would want shot would be:

______________________________________________________________

B: If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken is my:

______________________________________________________________

C: A woman's place is in the:

______________________________________________________________

D: The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is:

___________________________________________ ____________________

E. What do you want to do IF you grow up? ___________________________

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

F. When I meet a girl, the thing I always notice about her first is:

______________________________________________________________

F. What is the current going rate of a hotel room? __________________

I SWEAR THAT ALL INFORMATION SUPPLIED ABOVE IS TRUE AND CORRECT TO
THE BEST OF MY KNOWLEDGE UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT,
NATIVE AMERICAN ANT TORTURE, CRUCIFIXION, ELECTROCUTION, CHINESE
WATER TORTURE, RED HOT POKERS, AND HILLARY CLINTON KISS TORTURE.


_________________________________________________________
Applicant's Signature (that means sign your name, moron!)

Have fun!

Last edited {1}
Original Post

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The application needs to determine the young man's baseball pedigree along with some followup information. Hopefully they put down the correct on-base percentage (I don't want to know about the other one).

Please circle the highest level of baseball played and provide corresponding information:

Little League - Primary position played:
____ pitcher
____ infielder
____ outfielder

All Stars/Travel Ball - Primary slot in batting order:
___ 1-5
___ 6-9
___ bench

High School JV - Primary reason for playing:
___ prepare for varsity
___ enjoy team sports
___ chicks dig uniforms

High School Varsity - First year on Varsity:
___ Freshman
___ Sophomore
___ Junior
___ Senior
Hitting Stats:
OBP ____
OBPS ____
Pitching Stats:
WHIP ____
K/W Ratio ____
FB velocity ____ mph
I am a scouted prospect for:
___ D-1 College
___ D-3 College
___ MLB Draft (autographed ball required)

Never Played - List reasons why, but if any include "I don't like baseball", please leave immediately.
Last edited by Cutter Dad

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