Dilemma for Son - Pitching Sunday/PG Jr. National Tuesday

Yes, he should talk to the coach right away, along with an apology that this was not communicated much earlier.  Generally, coaches are interested in helping young players advance to the next level and want to also help assure they are ready for special opportunities such as this.  But there should be open dialog with advanced notice on the player's part on any such events that may affect the coach as he prepares for games with the team.  Prior commitments or opportunities for special events should always be communicated as early as possible, even at time of sign-ups or try-outs. 

I doubt that you just now planned the PG event.  To be frank, he should have it held against him a little bit, not because he will need to limit his innings but because it was not communicated earlier so that the coach could plan accordingly well in advance.

So, he should apologize, take his medicine, limit the innings Sunday and assure the coach he will not be surprised last minute again.  He should go do well at PG, then come back and earn his way back in favor with the legion coach.

The PG event is far more important than the Legion doubleheader.  I think most of the time we advise to let our kids handle things with coaches, but IMO this is a case where you should have a friendly, non-emotional conversation with the Legion coach and explain what the PG event is and what it means and that your son cannot pitch on Sunday.

Be ready for some possible blowback, but stay calm and upfront and hold your position without emotion.

I had to navigate some similar situations and somehow it always worked out ok.  I think the key was to be courteous, non-emotional and firm in a kind way.

Edit: cabbagedad has given a little different advice...that I think is every bit as good as mine.

I would try telling the coach that the number of scouts and college coaches at the Jr National will outnumber what you see combining the entire season.  Tell him your concerns and see what he has to say.  Most of the players that go to these events work with their summer coaches.  If done the right way most coaches will try to help their player if the player is not trying to abuse the system.  Then again, he might be one of those that won't help.

Truth is... If he throws a lot on Sunday, he should not throw on Tuesday.

$1400 seems like a lot! Does most of that involve flights?

My advice is definitely have the talk and either limit his innings on Sunday to what he would normally throw in a bullpen or not throw at all. The PG is far more important, we just attended the Ft Myers event and the exposure far exceeds anything you could gain from a DH. Frankly if he does well and gets rated high or ranked , your Legion coach should be happy for him and it reflects well on the entire program.

 have to agree with all the above posters. PG Jr. Nat'l is the priority. Either, don't let him pitch on Sun, or limit his pitch count to abt 50. 

Thanks all.  As far as letting the coach know, I did talk to the High School Head Coach at sign-ups.  (Even though he doesn't coach the Legion Program, he is definitely in charge of it.) He was really understanding, but he also let me know that if he misses more than one week, there will be ramifications.  Son is already scheduled for the week long East Cobb PG Wood Bat Event in July.  He also has football camp for a couple of days.  We are going to try and limit events to those 3.  So he really won't miss much more than that, but you have to understand how he is program. Although he seemed pretty cool when I talked to him about it, I am not sure how he would take it if my son requested not to pitch/limit amount of pitches. 

I will have him talk to the coach though, because of the importance of the event.

PG Staff.  The cost is:  $600 for the event, and over 800 for the flight. What sucks about the flight, is I can't go with him, so he is going with another family.  The Delta flight to leave on Monday and come back on Thursday was $578.  The family he is going with was coming home on Wednesday night.  The cost for the Wednesday return was $800 something.  Not too unhappy, because he gets to go, and I don't have to pay hotel or car rental.  (Offered, but dad said he travels so much hotel free, car $40 total) 

I decided not to go, because my son was invited to the PG Event in East Cobb.  I was born in Atlanta, and even though I am in Idaho, both sides of our family still live there.  Super jacked son was invited, so we can go as a family.

I disagree with throwing 50 pitches on Sunday, while planning to pitch on Tuesday at the PG Jr Nationals.  It is much better to have at least his usual rest.  I'm not saying this from an injury standpoint, but instead trying to provide his best performance at the showcase.

Please don't worry about how the coach would take it regarding limiting your son's pitch count.  Its in his own health's interest to do so if you're going to send him to the PG event.  Coach should understand and I'll bet he will...even if he's not happy about it.

Ok.  Thanks, and that is what I am going to go with.  He has never attended a PG Event, and I want to make sure that he performs at his peak.  I will have him talk to the coach...

I totally agree with the importance of a PG event.  However, I'll stick with my theme...

So, son has a PG showcase, then a week-long PG event, then a football camp and you are going to TRY and limit it to those three?  .. and really won't miss MUCH MORE than that?   The coach was understanding but said if he misses more than a week, it could be problematic.  It sounds like, just maybe, you are trying to squeeze a lot of other conflicting events into what should be at least a reasonable commitment to the legion team.  It sounds like, just maybe, HS head coach saw that happening.  I don't know how many players legion teams in your area typically carry, but I hope there was consideration given to that commitment and how it may affect that coach and team. 

Absolutely, a coach should work with you on something like a PG event.  But how much is too much?  Are you pushing it with the addition of football camp and possibly more?  How could you consider missing ANY more than that?  Doing the right thing includes proper early communication and consideration given to the coach, proper fulfillment of commitment to team and teammates, and being realistic about how much you can try to squeeze into the summer when making those commitments.

Believe me, I am as much a proponent as anyone when it comes to kids playing multiple sports and participating in events that can advance their opportunities to continue playing.  But sometimes you/son have to be realistic when deciding how many balls can be juggled and not forget to honor what you do commit to.

If you and he haven't already, get used to being pulled in a lot of different directions as a FB player and aspiring high level BB player.  Plan ahead and know how you are going to handle the many summer leagues, showcases, FB camps, passing leagues, etc.  Give thought, not only to the commitment issue, but the proper time off for a pitcher's arm, the standing up to the FB coach with regards to what summer activities you are or are not willing or able to participate in (assuming BB is primary college goal?), etc.

Once you get past being irritated with me, I hope this turns into helpful advice.

PS - thanks JBB, I totally agree from your angle as well...

Best wishes.

I would add that if there are ramifications, the player and family should accept with grace, since the coach did indicate that missing more than a week has consequences. That's life.

I agree, and I don't have a problem with him being sat when he returns.  A couple of points though:

1.  I spoke to the coach ahead of time, and I asked him specically about the "missing more than one week" statement that he made.  I also reminded him that the 1 Week PG Event, he actually gave the NW Coach my son's information; so, he already knew about the one week commitment, and if he had a problem, he could have not given info to NW Coach. 

2.  Don't have an issue as long as everyone is held to the same standard.  Will the coach track how many practices/games everyone misses?  I ask, because I talked to the coach ahead of time, and some may have not.

3.  The Football Camp is the School Football Team Camp.  Son is a QB, and he has to go if he wants a shot to play on Varsity.  I know that it conflicts, and it is a choice that may have ramifications.  Son wants to play football, and he will have to deal with the issues involved.

I really don't think it is going to be too big a deal, but I just wanted everyone's thoughts. 

Also, when the coach said that missing more than a week would be an issue, I first thought that I should talk to him about this and maybe not sign son up for Legion.  I believe in commitment too.  When coach was cool about it, I decided to roll with it.

The issue that I have is pitching so close to the PG Event.  Since son will miss what is essentially 2 weeks, I think he should be 100% when he is there. 

Also, if you think other kids won't miss time in the summer for family vacations, you are kidding yourself.  At least my son is going to be attending sporting events to make himself better.

rynaoattack,

You need to stop digging for the buried treasure that will exonerate you of all blame here and damn everyone else for the slightest infraction if your son is somehow forced to accept some form of punishment for something you and he both know is wrong.

This is no big deal! All of us who have had children have had to make similar decisions and live with the consequences. Its not a life and death decision! You knew there could be consequences, and you knew it when you committed the $1,400, so quit worrying about it. Besides, after your boy has been offered that contract or that full ride, how will any punishment he might suffer measure up to it?

Its just another step in the journey. No need to agonize over it.

Good luck!

Good points.  When you are in the midst, it is sometimes hard to make everything work.  I want to make it all work, but it is not really possible.  Fact is, he is going to the PG Event, and if asked he will pitch on Sunday.  We'll just have to deal with it as it comes...

I see you are not past being irritated yet

So, theoretically, if a young HS QB is good enough, do you think the HS FB coach will stick to his threat that he cannot play varsity unless he makes the summer FB camp?  Once in a while, yes.  USUALLY no.  That is exactly the sort of thing I was referring to when I suggested to be prepared to take a stance with FB coaches if your son's primary aspirations are college BB.

I am a HS BB coach who also helps with the summer program and I have dealt with these very same issues for several years.  Yes, I am fully aware that kids take summer vacations.  Most have some combination of vacation, showcase, FB practice, etc.  We ask our boys that they give us their availability at the beginning of summer season so that we can schedule and plan accordingly (we actually ask well before that so we know we have enough to even schedule summer games).  If their post-HS goals include baseball, we expect them to take a stand with FB and basketball, and make a reasonable commitment to the summer program.  That is not to say that we don't still encourage and accommodate participation in the scheduled events of those other sports.  If their priorities are elsewhere, we understand and hope that they commit to some summer baseball so that we can help them further their game.   We expect the respect of no surprises.  We expect that if they do commit to the team and are trying to juggle other sports, they learn to sacrifice for what they really want and, perhaps skip an extra lake trip or mini-vacation from time to time.   We expect that they continue to learn the meaning of commitment and communication and try to help them navigate as this becomes more and more difficult as time commitment requirements continue to grow as they work their way up to each next level.   This is what I was trying to convey to you as helpful direction going forward.

Initially, you said you told the HS coach, who is not the legion team coach.  I hope you understand that, typically, a league prez is not likely to share all of those such conversations down to each team coach.  So, that conversation is a good one to have but not in place of having the same conversation with the actual coach.  lf disclosure is there and everyone is in agreement and on the same page, awesome.  I agree... roll with it.

Thanks Cabbage.  I don't disagree with what you say.  In my son's case, he will be a Jr. this year, and the Varsity QB is a Sr.  Sr. QB started Soph. & Jr. Season, and son was the JV QB.  New Football Coach, so the job is up for grabs.  Son likes football a lot, but he definitely loves Baseball more.  By the way, he did give up basketball.  We live in Idaho, so the 3 Sport Athlete has been fairly common.  However, at the large schools, it is becoming increasingly harder.  It is not like California, Texas, Georgia where it is hard to juggle 2 sports.  3 is becoming too hard at the large schools though. 

Son is a 6'4" Lefty QB, and I personally want to see him enjoy playing QB in High School.  Who knows, he may decide to be a QB in College.  I think he should keep his options open and continue to work through the inevitable conflicts.

And here we are again..

By you waiting until the last minute to communicate with the coach, you are throwing him for a loop. Now he is going to have to find another pitcher to pitch that day. You're putting your kid ahead of the team. If you couldn't commit to the team, you shouldn't have done so. How is that fair to the coach and the team?

You had my attention until you mentioned FB.

I agree much with what stats and cabbagedad have said.

Sorry, your son shouldn't pitch on sunday and then pitch on tues/wed but this is the dilemma (trying to do everything all at once)  that occurs this time of year and this is why pitchers get hurt. He made a commitment to the team and you knew the ramifications when he made these commitments.

Not sure why the coach wasn't informed that your son might be pitching on tues and wed well in  advance, so they could limit his innings or pitch count.

Maybe you should have left out the legion baseball.

Best of luck.

Apparently some of you can't read.  The coach was told well in advance.  Thanks  for your help. I'll remember not to post anymore on this web site.  I posted a question.  I don't deserve your BS.

If you communicated this issue well in advance to the coach, and he was alright with it, then you shouldn't be having an issue at all. There's some sort of disconnect with communication, either between you and the coach or you and us on this website. 

By the way, none of the above is "BS". It's all correct. A thank you for sound advice would do justice.

Your son should be the one communicating with the coach, not you.

If you don't "deserve" the "BS", no one is forcing you to be here. 

Sorry, this one really irks me.

rynoattack- I'd suggest going back and rereading your posts. I'm fully confident in my reading abilities. Here is what you said in reference to the coach's knowledge:

"As far as letting the coach know, I did talk to the High School Head Coach at sign-ups.  (Even though he doesn't coach the Legion Program, he is definitely in charge of it.) He was really understanding, but he also let me know that if he misses more than one week, there will be ramifications."

So, unless there is some subliminal message that everyone here missed, I interpret that as: no, you did not tell the coach of the team. No, the coach of the team doesn't know. No, that's not the appropriate way to go about things.

Word of advice for the future: if you come onto a message board with a question and receive an answer that you don't like, don't lash out and patronize the individuals attempting to help you. 

LOTS of that going on these days on this website. Pretty unbecoming, I must say...

Good points.  When you are in the midst, it is sometimes hard to make everything work.  I want to make it all work, but it is not really possible.  Fact is, he is going to the PG Event, and if asked he will pitch on Sunday.  We'll just have to deal with it as it comes...

As I stated earlier, my son will pitch for the team on Sunday.  I think that speaks volumes that I have told my son to honor his commitment.  Several times in this e-mail chain I have stated my son will do the right thing, which is honor his commitment.  Some of you just see blood in the water, and oh no here we go again, another idiot.  Trust me, I am not idiot.  I understood the commitment, and that is why I spoke with him directly after his parent meeting. 

One part that I left out is that my son also spoke to the Legion Coach, who asked my son to write him a schedule.  Additionally, all of these events have happened quickly.  Son wasn't invited to the East Cobb Event until the last minute.  Thinking that maybe the team needed someone at the last minute, because someone backed out.  Not sure.  Not a lot of notice on Legion either.  Happens as soon as State Tournament is over.  So we did not have a schedule to plan against, i.e. did not know what days Legion would be playing on.  What should I do turn down the PG Event?  I don't think so.  Had no idea there would be a Sunday DH two days before the PG Event.  Although, I am not LDS, this is LDS country, so a Sunday DH is surprising.  In other words, when we were trying to plan out the summer, we did not have all of the facts.

My issue was simply should I have my son remind the coaching staff of his PG Event.  Even though you talk to coaches in advance, they can forget.  Additionally, our best pitcher doesn't play on Sunday.  So that could add stress to the coach.  DH is hard to have enough pitching for, especially since we play on Friday Night.  I also have stated that son will sit when he returns.  I don't have a problem with that at all.  Although I talked to the Program's coach, and make no mistake about it, the High School Coach at our school is fully in charge of the Legion Program.  The Legion Head Coach is the Freshman Coach at our school. 

I don't mind the advice, and I have stated son will honor his commitment, and he will take his medicine if he is sat when he returns.  Some of the posts above were good advice, some were attacking in nature, and I don't think that is necessary.

I think this whole thread brings forth a similar issue that my son's summer team is dealing with. 

He is fortunate to play on a team with some talented kids who are getting some early attention.  With that comes last minute invites to prospect camps, showcases, etc. which can put the player in a tough spot in terms of my team is playing this weekend but for me and my opportunity it would be better to go to this event.  So far it appears in our case our club is very supportive of the boys doing last minute things of this nature even if it conflicts.

To be fair I played legion ball growing up and winning and losing those games mattered more than say my son's games this summer where really they only play one tourney where winning truly matters.

Just curious how some of you have been through the process juggled these type of opportunities with your boys?

We didn't have this dilemma years ago. The emergence and the amount of showcases, tournaments and camps for all ages wasn't what it is today. However, on sons travel team they carried a lot of players so that they could go to tournies, or vacation, as long as he was notified in advance.   We did travel ball in summer and the fall was for tournies and showcases, as we were careful NOT to over tax son as a pitcher. 

I think that many people think they have to do everything, keep in mind that this is a huge business, try to pick and choose the venues you feel are best for your player and don't be afraid to turn down any invite.

Most  important is to  keep in mind that your son's body is still growing and needs rest. I know plenty of players that never got further than HS because they got hurt trying to do too much. If you are hurt, no one is going to see you.

Just curious how some of you have been through the process juggled these type of opportunities with your boys?

Great question!

I have two sons who went on to play high D1 college ball.  Thats just background.

These things did indeed come up.  I just found that most things could be navigated with good communication.  Even the last minute things.  And yes they did come up.

Older son was fully committed to a high level travel team.  He pitched in one tournament for them all summer...at the beginning of the summer.  Things snowballed after that.  I just did my best to always communicate 100% honestly with his coaches and program director.  Sure, they were disappointed a few times, but I believe my open and honest communication set the tone...along with their genuine happiness for a player getting some great opportunities.

And it was an experienced and well run program too.

With the younger son, things didn't snowball quite as much...but still some things came up.  Again, open and honest communication was the key.

Today, I remain very good friends with the 'owners' of that program even though they have nothing left to gain by being my friend.  I would bet they would say that I'm a pretty good guy who did things the right way.

Most others can achieve the same.  But it does require sometimes difficult but truthful conversation.  We can all feel like we want to keep everyone our friends and honor every single commitment...but sometimes it may(?) not be 100% possible.  Coaches/programs want to see kids move on to better things.  Be honest and upfront and I believe you'll find that most are happy to receive and support YOUR last minute hiccups and good news.