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In the subject of my post, I am stealing a line from recent episode of The Partner (spin-off of The Profit) where one of the contestants is frustrated after having his performance critiqued so he is critical of another contestants performance. She later expresses her frustration by saying, "you don't need to dim my light to brighten yours." Thought it was a great quote and something I have seen lately among baseball parents.

So this is more of a vent then anything but also curious to see how many others share similar experiences. I don't think I really noticed this as much in youth baseball but since high school, I have seen or heard numerous parents in a not-so direct way (and sometimes directly) kind of bash or talk down about another players success. Sometimes it is play on the field but more often then not it has been when a discussion comes up about someone playing at the next level. Why should I or anyone else for that matter, care about where someone else is going or might go to play baseball.  I am too focused on helping my own son find his way by educating myself through awesome websites like this or talking to parents/players who have experience with baseball and the recruiting process. I guess I just don't understand the point of it all other then to dim someone else's light to brighten yours! Dumb IMO!

"Baseball is more then a game. It's like life played out on a field." - Juliana Hatfield

Last edited by coachld
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I am getting old and tired of the travel / children conversations...I seldom ask how the kid is doing but I will ask how the team is doing. typically it comes back to the kid anyway.

When I am asked about mine I am broken record. Been seeing it well (translates to he is killing it), been a little cool but coming around (either in a slump or getting out of one), thanks for asking yes he has playing well (standard every day line)

I often wonder if most people realize I always give one of 3 responses. if you get a different one you are a current coach, past coach or person who knows us both very well.

Our older son went through this.  He played in a weak HS program and it wasn't uncommon at all to hear parents in the stands make comments about how they just didn't see it.

When he got to Stanford, I found out from other parents nearly every one of them went through the same thing.  So Steve A. is correct - not uncommon at all.  It won't go away anytime soon.

Our younger son played in a tremendous HS program - and we never heard this stuff.  Better culture, better players, better coaching staff....better behavior all around.  Whatever the secret sauce is, they had it.  I wish it could be copied many times over.

I haven't heard people tearing down another kids accomplishments.  i.e. I haven't heard "I just don't know why school X even bothered committing to him, he's not even good".  However, there will always be the chirping of "No idea why coach started John at first today, the kid can NOT catch a pop up to save his life." Usually this is coming from people that don't have a kid that plays that position so I chalk that up to just talking about the team in general. 

I grew up at my father's knee watching baseball. He adored the Yankees, never missed a game on TV, and yet I have vivid memories of him yelling at the TV about not having a decent shortstop for the last 25 years...and what the heck is Steinbrenner thinking bringing that guy back! 

There seems to be a fine line in are we fans of the team who get to discuss such matters, or are we parents that should keep our mouths shut?  I tend to smile and nod, look like they are making an interesting point, and then I have an urgent need to go to the parking lot and or bathroom.

I don't think parents need to keep their mouths shut but having some sense of who they are talking about....meaning children or teenagers makes sense to me. As a football coach and having coached baseball I know how hard many of these kids work to improve their game. I know the kids don't usually hear or find out later but still shows a lack of character...IMO...when an adult talks bad about a young student-athlete. And I am not talking about the parent who says something that is a knee-jerk reaction to mistakes on the field. I am talking about the side conversations that occur in regards to a players ability.

Once your son his been criticized by a sportswriter read by thousands you will will never criticize another player at any level from youth to MLB out loud. Back in youth ball to high school I might say if Joey did X when he's trying to do Y he would be better at it. I'm always seeing the game as a coach. But it was never out loud. If I felt the father was comfortable with the suggestion I would mention it to him. It was constructive criticism. 

I told I good friend/parent two players on the travel team were overreaching with their choice and would never start there. I was right. But I told the friend if what I said became public I would have to kill him. I liked the kids and the parents. I just thought they made bad choices for college ball.

A friend noticed I never get upset watching our local pro teams. I told him it goes back to coaching. If I got out of control coaching how could I expect the kids to maintain control. There are times I want to tell him to grow up when he rants and whines. I've never showed a lot of emotion watching my kids or watching pros. It's all a very analytical experience to me..

Shoveit4ks, Marcus Lemonis gave keynote address yesterday at a seminar I'm attending.  Terrific talk about building relationships with potential customers as well as employees, but I sat there the whole time thinking there are a lot of coaches - high school and college level - who could sure benefit from that talk (if they would listen!).  

Within an hour of hearing that talk, spoke with a client whose athlete is being bullied by a teammate (not baseball) and coach has done little to nothing about it.  Poor leadership (or lack of) from coach, and athlete needs to assert themself.

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