In our drive to help our kids get where they want to go we need to be very careful. What I have seen many times is the dream takes over and causes people to lose perspective. The parent or parent's raise a ball player and when the ball player is no longer a ball player there is no relationship. The player feels so much pressure to make the dream happen for you that the joy of playing the game is lost. And when the dream dies there is no relationship outside of the dream that has died. The player feels they have let the parent down. They don't feel any self worth outside of the game.
Don't be this parent. I am often confronted with this statement when I talk about this. "But it's all he ever wants to do! It's all he ever wants to talk about!" What do you praise more than anything else? What do you put the most importance on? Do you get as upset with a bad grade as you do an 0-4? Do you get as excited about an A as you do a 4-4? Do you get as excited when he catches a nice fish as you do a fly ball? Do you get as excited about him quoting a scripture as you do him talking about an at bat? Do you place the same importance on him being a good person as you do a good ball player? Do you praise him when he treats people with respect as much as you do when he shows good sportsmanship after a game? Do you praise his grass cutting ability to the same degree you praise his fielding ability? That list could go on forever.
They know what is important to us. And do you think they want to please us? So when the only thing that they percieve that pleases us no longer pleases us becaues of struggles in the game or the cleats are hung up what then? What do you talk about? What now? I have seen so many cases of this and it is very sad. Both for the parent and the son.
I bring this up because I am watching a very sad situation right now with a player I know very well. It breaks my heart to tell you the truth. Look I don't know very much. But this is real. It happens much more than anyone would like to admit. And the fact is unless we are willing to be honest and transparent this site is pointless. There is no need to reply if you find yourself in this situation or are moving in this direction. Just work towards building a relationship that is more about the man than the player. The player will fade away. The man is for life. I am not down playing the importance of our kids desire to be the absolute best player they can be. What I am saying is WE as parents must keep perspective because we don't want to miss the most important thing.
