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27 replies

Don't say this at a high school game ....

RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
I'm going to rant and provide advice at the same time. While this situation didn't occur at a high school baseball game, it can be applied to baseball or any other high school sport.

Never, ever say publicly "This is just a high school game. It's not as important as travel."

This statement was made by a mother at a district playoff game last night (that S word sport). Our high school drew the favorite to win states in the second round. Everyone understood the odds of winning. But the kids beat other top ranked teams during the season. At 16-4 it's not like the kids are chopped liver.

When a parent makes this comment it's insulting to every player and parent involved in the program who enjoys the competition but doesn't see it as the primary sport. When the comment was made I turned to another parent and asked, "If this isn't such a big deal as travel, how come her kid doesn't start?" I'll bet every kid in the game wanted to win as much as any other game they play.

I learned my mistake in middle school. When someone asked why I was socializing more than watching the game in 7th grade I commented, "Compared to travel this is slow motion baseball." Right after I said it I wished I could get a rewind on the last ten seconds of my life. Too bad life can't be Tivo'd back.

** The dream is free. Work ethic sold separately. **

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ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
The reason I would not say it is because I don't believe high school ball is somehow lower in stature.

High school ball in our neck of the woods, funneled all the top travel teams into one high school of over 4,000 kids for grades 10-12. It was a monster accomplishment to start on varsity your junior year. It was a big deal to make the freshman team when over 100 tried out. I have heard parents say those things but I did not agree with them. Travel teams are often hand-picked. Often times, kids are shielded from having to compete for a spot. Try out and PLAY for a high school team where nobody knows your name. That is an achievement.
W Will1,000+ posts
"This is just a high school game. It's not as important as travel."

I can get 15 guys who could not walk and chew gum they pay their money form a team and travel.

I have talked to parents of players who travel with their kids to a tournament spend lots of money and have been told they played 5 games winning 3 by 10 or more runs and being told the competition was weak. So just because you put the word travel or elite or whatever name in front of a team does not automatically make them superior.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by Will:
"This is just a high school game. It's not as important as travel."

I can get 15 guys who could not walk and chew gum they pay their money form a team and travel.

I have talked to parents of players who travel with their kids to a tournament spend lots of money and have been told they played 5 games winning 3 by 10 or more runs and being told the competition was weak. So just because you put the word travel or elite or whatever name in front of a team does not automatically make them superior.
In the situation I was commenting about, the mother's kids both play in a highly regarded, highly ranked, nationally known programs (S word). One played U19 last summer as a sixteen year old. One played U15.

Basically she was degarding high school sports since the depth of the talent is not high level travel quality and every player isn't committed to the sport at the same level as her sons.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by 20dad:
i would say high school ball is much more important than travel ball. college coaches ask about your grades for a reason.
if you want to play in college you'll have to balance school and sports. you don't need to do this in travel ball.

sometimes travel ball just means your parents have money.
Travel is much more relevant than high school if a kid wants to play at the next level in most parts of the country in every sport but football. Scouts are far more likely to be at major tournaments and showcases than high school games. I also doubt a coach would tell a stud he wasn't interested because he didn't balance his high school sport and academics if he has acceptible grades. Besides most travel players also play for their high schools.

But that's not the focus of this conversation. This is about the snobbery some travel parents display at high school events. I've seen it in every sport my kids have been involved at the high school level (girl's volleyball, track, softball, and boy's s****r, basketball and baseball). I'm not talking about mediocre travel programs. I'm talking about parent's of kids in quality programs who will likely play at the next level.

I want to smack parents who act like losing a high school district playoff doesn't matter because it isn't the quality of a major travel tournament. The kids care.
Last edited by RJM
fanofgamefanofgame5,000+ posts
My son played on travel teams, went to showcases and it was all a lot of fun. But I will tell you winning their first ever highschool section title with guys hes been friends with for many years was just absolutely priceless. i will never forget the dog pile and the faces esp. since I have a picture of it in my dining room that I look at at least once a day. All of its good and has its own things that are special.
But community HS section tiltle, with half the darn town there. teachers, principes , coaches from other sports, one of the most exciting days of baseball for my family ever.
fanofgamefanofgame5,000+ posts
And to add to that, the teams we played in and beat in playoffs. several are at D1 schools right now, several already committed for next year, some were drafted, so it was pretty competitve baseball.several are at JCs continuing their careers. many of these same boys participated in the showcase teams in the summer, scout teams in the fall etc. but it was good baseball and very important baseball. no body should talk negatively about any level of ball someone is playing.
20dad20dad1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:


I also doubt a coach would tell a stud he wasn't interested because he didn't balance his high school sport and academics if he has acceptible grades. Besides most travel players also play for their high schools.
---------------------------------------------------
But that's not the focus of this conversation.


rjm
if a player has good grades, that usually means he balances school and ball very well.

i'm sure you know good grades won't get you into a d1 school unless they are the correct classes. many studs don't know they need to take these classes until it's too late. that's why, in my opinion high school ball is a very big measuring stick for college ball.

in our neck of the woods,travel isn't very big. it is for younger kids but when they get older for the most part it's high school and legion.

i guess i did miss the whole focus of the coversation. my bad.
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
I have to say this. The parent was stupid for saying what they said. I don't however think that making a remark to another parent about the offenders kid not starting is any more appropriate.

Let me put it to you this way. If I heard someone say that HS wasn't as important as travel ball, I would ignore it and think them ignorant or selfish. If I heard someone say something negative about a kid just because they didn't like the parent,I would tell them that it is not appropriate to do so. If I heard them say it about my kid....watch out! It is not hard for me to know which is more inappropriate.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
My comment was made very quietly to another parent who can't stand the arrogance and out loud comments of the kid's parents. These comments have been broadcasted for our listening pleasure all season. I like the kids. They're good kids. But once again, this strays from the point of the thread.
Last edited by RJM
zombywoofzombywoof1,000+ posts
Doesn't make sense that some snob says travel ball is more important than high school ball. They're clueless. Besides maintaining grades, which is what college life is like, what high school player is playing travel during the high school season since school ball is 6 days a week during the season.

High schoolers play travel in the summer and fall to stay sharp and in some cases get their exposure.

.
B brod100+ posts
This is a good topic - things you don't say at a high school game....

The truth is, that to your son, the high school game is very important- his friends, girlfriends, coaches and teammates he sees every day, at parties, and in the classroom.
The makeup of travel ball teams will change every year, and will only last for the summer. Our son has played in national championship games that he wasn't as nervous at as he was on opening day of his high school season.

Parents, trying to pass as knowlegeable, should learn when to dummy up. It's not about them, but about their son.
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
quote:
Originally posted by zombywoof:
Doesn't make sense that some snob says travel ball is more important than high school ball. They're clueless. Besides maintaining grades, which is what college life is like, what high school player is playing travel during the high school season since school ball is 6 days a week during the season.

High schoolers play travel in the summer and fall to stay sharp and in some cases get their exposure.


No high school players are playing travel ball during the season. Nowhere in the post was it implied they did. No matter what travel sport a high school players plays, it's played in the summer. The parent's point was losing in high school districts is irrelevant since it's not the highest level of ball her kid plays, and her oldest kid plays travel with better players than his high school teammates.

The statement is rediculous to begin with. But my point is it's flat out insulting to players who are either not good enough to play on an elite travel team or like my son who chooses not to since it's not the primary sport. High school post season is as big as it gets in this sport for these kids. And I didn't see her son smiling after the game.
Last edited by RJM
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by RJM:
My comment was made very quietly to another parent who can't stand the arrogance and out loud comments of the kid's parents. These comments have been broadcasted for our listening pleasure all season. I like the kids. They're good kids. But once again, this strays from the point of the thread.


My statement was right on thread.

A few points. Two wrongs don't make a right. The other parent should not say those things at a high school game. You should not say things about their kid at a high school game. Being quiet about it doesn't make it ok. You never know who is listening.

quote:
When the comment was made I turned to another parent and asked, "If this isn't such a big deal as travel, how come her kid doesn't start?"
It probably should not be said at a high school game. Right on thread.

"I notice that when people point fingers...oft times it is not at themselves"
zombywoofzombywoof1,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by RJM.
The statement is rediculous to begin with. But my point is it's flat out insulting to players who are either not good enough to play on an elite travel team or like my son who chooses not to since it's not the primary sport. High school post season is as big as it gets in this sport for these kids. And I didn't see her son smiling after the game.


While it's a dopey comment, I'd just blow it off and take it where it's coming from. At all levels of youth baseball starting at tball all the way thru high school, these parents exist at every level and you just learn to tune them out and just take them for the idiots they are..
shortstopmomshortstopmom1,000+ posts
quote:
At all levels of youth baseball starting at tball all the way thru high school, these parents exist at every level and you just learn to tune them out and just take them for the idiots they are..


These kinds of parents do exist at every level.
But I have to say, I have yet to learn how to stand around them & tune them out.
Wish I knew how.

As idiotic and ignorant as these parents can be, I'd probably have a hard time not saying something directly to them to personally enlighten them about their lack of intelligence and grace. Darn if it wouldn't be extra hard not to point out the amount of sweat, blood, & tears that every single player out on the field ( no matter what age/what level) was giving.
And to take it a step further, I'd probably think it was my self-appointed duty to inform her that until she got her snippy snappy snooty hiney out on the field and did what the athletes were doing, she better check her wallet, cause her free-to-insult-others-debit card, just expired.
( said with one hand on hip and fingers snappin' )


You are absolutely 100% right Bighit15 about two wrongs don't make a right, and three wrongs are even worse.
That's exactly why centerfield and I have become best buddies over the years. Big Grin Wink

( Sitting in the top of the bleachers accompanied by ear plugs and a muzzle works pretty good, too )
Last edited by shortstopmom
Bighit15Bighit155,000+ posts
quote:
You are absolutely 100% right Bighit15 about two wrongs don't make a right, and three wrongs are even worse.
That's exactly why centerfield and I have become best buddies over the years. Big Grin Wink

( Sitting in the top of the bleachers accompanied by ear plugs and a muzzle works pretty good, too )

I always sat way down the line in my chair and smoked a cigar. I spent a lot of time listening to complaining parents, parents complaining about complaining parents, and disparaging remarks made about the children of both. It is absolutely no fun for me to listen to that stuff. On the scale of life it is very petty.

I feel it is not productive to talk about kids in any case. Even if their parent is an idiot. I am not saying I haven't done it. I am not perfect. I just try not to anymore. It serves no purpose and nothing good comes from it. The only thing that kind of behavior ever did was cause bad feelings. It is just not worth saying. jmo
shortstopmomshortstopmom1,000+ posts
quote:
and smoked a cigar.

......wish I'd thought of that. Big Grin

quote:
..... I spent a lot of time listening to complaining parents, parents complaining about complaining parents, and disparaging remarks made about the children of both. It is absolutely no fun for me to listen to that stuff. On the scale of life it is very petty.

I feel it is not productive to talk about kids in any case. Even if their parent is an idiot. I am not saying I haven't done it. I am not perfect. I just try not to anymore. It serves no purpose and nothing good comes from it. The only thing that kind of behavior ever did was cause bad feelings. It is just not worth saying. jmo


Great post!
Last edited by shortstopmom
RJMRJMHSBaseballWeb member since 2007
Through pre high school varsity sports I found stupid comments amusing as long as kids didn't hear them. I figured the parents would get struck down by reality along the journey. For two of my kid's three pre high school sports I was too busy coaching if it was travel or rec to hear the comments.

At the varsity level I find the comments offensive. Every kid has superior athletic ability to most of the high school and worked hard to earn their position on the team.
Last edited by RJM

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