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17 replies

Exploring Your Parent Baseball Options!!

B BBWatcher100+ posts
There are all kinds of Baseball options for the players that want to play baseball or continue with their love of the game!! Of course almost every player wants to make it in the Bigs some day!! But what about the Parent??

The dream of playing in the World Series is a noble goal for the player and it would certainly be exciting for the parent!!

There are those that play baseball in college and then decide for whatever reason, it is not for them!! It could be that they have yet to see the rewards for their hard work!! It could be there are other pressing issues that should be focused on! It could be that the skill level that they have is less than is needed to compete at some level or because of injury!

I think that the majority of the time a player just basically gets tired!! The benefits of playing just do not outway the benefits of not playing. Marriage, family, income, education other interests all play a part in the ending of a players dream of making it in the Bigs!! Sometimes it is as simple as travel, coaching or time and effort!!

Everyone on this site will always be a fan of baseball, that is without a doubt a true statement, but also everyone on this site at one time or another will finish their baseball lifes, either as a player or a parent!! Some players will continue with it until even after the parents have deceased which certainly helps any parent that has to face any crossroads, some will make it into the Bigs, some college and some only highschool!! But the parents don't have that choice, they are just a sounding board for the players choice!!

After the playing ends, some will try to make a living at it in any way that they can, just to keep their love of the game going and I feel that is a good thing!!

Each parent will have a crossroads at some point in their life when their player decides to leave the playing field!! Some sooner than others!! The player, will normally seek advise from the parent or at least have them be a sounding board for their decision!!

What do you do as a parent?? How do you direct them? What do you say??

Since it isn't about you, the parent, it is about the player, how do you advise them??

Supporting a player that is loved by the parent is the real goal, isn't it!! Not if they play the game or not!!

Let's hope that each parent on this site takes the time to reflect on this crossroads that we will all face one day!! It doesn't matter if your son is a college player in the CWS or a Pro player in the Bigs!! Enjoy the times that we are currently having, watch as much as you can while the flame still burns in the players heart and at the same time plan for life after it is all done!!

Baseball is a wonderful sport, and it does much more for and to the parents than they realize!! Your love of the game is not your sons love of the game!! When it is time to hang up those spikes or not, give the player your love and let them grow up!! They will explore their own baseball option!!

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B bbscout1,000+ posts
BBWatcher, That is a fine post. When my oldest son finished college and was not drafted, I wondered if he would be lonely for the game. He was, and now is the pitching coach at a HS. I was lonely for him, but when he decided to coach, I was real happy for him.

One of my closest friends, pitched in the big leagues for 8 years and then had his son go to Stanford, where they won back to back college world series titles. The kid then won a Gold Medal in Korea in 88 and then won 2 world series rings with the Blue Jays. He just retired in 2002 and when I asked pops what he thought, he said he was relieved. He had sweated out every AB that his son had for about 25 years and was just worn out. His son now has a head coaching job at a D1 school, and Dad will start sweating all over again. SmileSometimes it just keeps going on for the parent.
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justbaseballjustbaseball10,000+ posts
bbscout - I remember watching your close friend pitch in the big leagues for the Reds in the early 70's. Sitting down the right field line at Riverfront Stadium watching him throw in the bullpen - great memories! I also remember watching his son play at Stanford after I moved out here following college. I always had a special feeling for his son when he was on those Blue Jays teams since I had seen his dad play when I was a kid and seen him play in college.

Congratulations to his son on his new job. I'm sure he'll do a great job.
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PAmomPAmom1,000+ posts
OUCH!! Frown

Just about exactly one year ago, my son sat down with his "coach" and "retired," an extremely disillusioned young man, from his college's baseball program. Agonizing decision is putting it mildly.

To this day, not a single person who knows him can believe he is not playing college baseball, including Mom and Dad. On some days, even my son doesn't believe it. He asked me over his break if he would be eligible to play collegiately if he found himself an older student at a different university, either in grad school, going for a second degree, whatever. It broke my heart when he brought up the subject. I still feel somewhat responsible, since I was so involved in researching a "best fit" scenario for all of his priorities during recruiting. My son is currently a junior at the university he ultimately chose for academic reasons (priorities straight, right??), and has decided to remain there. Baseball has thus been sacrificed. Of course I told him that he has three years of eligibility remaining, provided he is a full time student. That eligibility doesn't expire when he graduates.

Baseball will somehow always be a part of my son's life, whether he finds himself on another college team down the road (I have my doubts, but who knows what the future holds?), or simply becomes a rabid fan of the sport he loves. For now, he remains an impact player on an incredibly talented icon of an adult league summer team, and that provides the baseball "fix" for this family that is still coping with the "loss."

Excellent but painfully personal post, BBWatcher!

Is this heaven?...
PAmomPAmom1,000+ posts
Someone will have to correct me if I'm wrong, but those years do not have to be consecutive. Recently there was an article in the paper about a 40+ year old father playing on the same college football team as his son. And for what it's worth, my son played D-III ball (no NLI involved) for one year.

Is this heaven?...
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C Coach/Dad10+ posts
>>I still feel somewhat responsible, since I was so involved in researching a "best fit" scenario for all of his priorities during recruiting. My son is currently a junior at the university he ultimately chose for academic reasons (priorities straight, right??), and has decided to remain there.<<

I hear this from parent after parent, and especially from teacher after teacher and counselor after counselor. Academics first, baseball next.

Bull.

To frame my response, I'm a state university grad, with a doctorate from another state university, and medical school training at yet another state university. I'm recently out of full-time academia, but most of the last 20 years were spend selecting and training young men and women for graduate or professional school, for residency training, or for their first professional jobs.

So here's my take- Nobody ever says to themselves when they're my age: "If only I'd gotten my [accounting] degree at a different school- then I'd really be successful!." Substitute pre-med, business, pottery making, or what have you there. On the other hand, one of the most painful and self-confidence eroding experiences is that of the athlete who ends their career sooner than they know they should.

There is *always* time to finish your diploma at a "better" academic school, or complete graduate training, or whatever. In contrast, there is a very narrow window in which one's health and speed and drive will allow one to compete at the collegiate level.

People who do what I do will always take a slightly longer look at a collegiate athlete from Eastern Southwest Central State than we will *yet another* graduate from Well Known University, grades and test scores being equal.

The truth is, the schools that are so make or break academically prestigious as to guarantee a career are, with a couple of exceptions (Stanford, Notre Dame, maybe, and the like) a bit less athletically competitive than the larger regionnally well-known universities fom which most athletes are transferring in order to play elsewhere.

Tell your son the train is leaving the station, and that if he has the slightest belief that he can still play college ball he should get off his butt and go somewhere else and do it. No admissions officer or human resources director or future employer who is, was, or knows an athlete, or who loves sports, will ever fail to appreciate his motivation or hold his decision against him. And why would he ever want to work for anyone else, anyway?

C/D

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B BBWatcher100+ posts
Coach/Dad, the ole train is leaving the station ploy, eh?? I am not so sure I agree with you although, that is a good one!! There is only one problem with that, it is his ticket to ride not yours dad!!

Without knowing any of the circumstances of anyone, you just "kick him in the butt or tell him to get off his butt and tell him the train is leaving the station"!!! You are not going to be sitting next to him when he has every interview, you have to let them grow up eventually!!! The last thing I would ever tell anyone, let alone my son, is the ole, train is leaving the station story, you've got to make a quick decision!!

The problem with that story is what happens if the train was headed to NY and he was trying to get to California, maybe there was a gold rush out there, who knows!! You just put him on the train to the East Coast when he really wanted to go West young man!!! Now once he gets to the east coast, he just has wasted all of the time to get there and it is too late for his appointment on the West Coast with the surveyor, all the Gold claims, and streams are packed with prospectors who just struck it rich 3 days before he got there because they made the right decision!! You just convinced him to make the wrong move!! And maybe his entire future would have been wonderful had he made his own decision!!

Now in regards to your age and mentioning "no one at your age says "if only I had gotten my accounting degree at a different university, I would have been successful"!! You are probably right at your age, but at my age alot of people are saying, I sure wish I would have started this or that earlier, I could have been doing this for x years, saved x dollars, gone x places or done x things!! It is all a matter of perspective!! The ones that get a little older than I say, I sure wish I wouldn't have wasted all of that time doing X, I could have been doing Y and now I don't have time to do Y!!

Anyway, I do appreciate your response, and I hope that you have made the right decision for your son, or at least directed him where you thought he wanted to go!!
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C Coach/Dad10+ posts
Thanks for the response. Two things-

First- the passing of time really is a realistic factor for a 21 year old who wants one more chance at his/ her game of choice. There is genuine time pressure for the decision to keep playing ball that isn't there for nearly any other career choice that doesn't involve carrier landings or television cameras, or both. You can start medical school at 28, in fact its more common than ever, but you really can't start at college firstbase at that age. The train really is leaving the station if he wants to keep playing ball.

Second- I'm forty seven, by no means a feckless youth. No kidding, there just aren't a whole lot of folks my age or older who regret entering their professions or professional training at 24 instead of at 22. Those couple prime years, whether spent playing baseball or doing Morman missionary work or burning up a Eurail pass or jumping out of a perfectly good airplane on the government's dime, rarely to never make an appreciable negative difference on one's later income or career options or quality of life, but only serve to enrich one's experience and hasten one's maturation.

In my opinion.

If PAMom's son can still play the game, and still wants to play the game, then every hour spent regretting the decision to quit is a hour when he could be taking BP or throwing bullpen or spitting seeds with his buds. If he wants to play then he should go somewhere and play the game, and not worry that he won't be able to resume whatever academic interests or career aspirations he might have when he's finally, really ready to grab some pine.

C/D
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S Sark201,000+ posts
"If PAMom's son can still play the game, and still wants to play the game, then every hour spent regretting the decision to quit is a hour when he could be taking BP or throwing bullpen or spitting seeds with his buds. If he wants to play then he should go somewhere and play the game, and not worry that he won't be able to resume whatever academic interests or career aspirations he might have when he's finally, really ready to grab some pine."

Coach/Dad, That was well said.

"Everybody kind of perceives me as being angry. It's not anger, it's motivation." Roger Clemens



WD Wildcat Dad10+ posts
PA Mom,
Yes, those years are consecutive. From the 1st day they attend school, they have 5 years of eligibility for 4 years of competition. Only exceptions are religious missions, military duty or medical hardships. That applies to all NCAA schools, NLI or not.

There can always be an exception, but that is the rule of thumb. The NCAA also mandates progress toward a degree by X number of hours, declaring a major by X number of hours, etc. The timeline for competition is very specific. If an athlete has graduated with eligibility left, they must be enrolled in graduate school.

The only way I can think of a 40 yr. old Dad able to participate with his son (outside of the exceptions above) would be if he not previously enrolled in school.

I would do some investigation to prevent a change of heart too late.

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