Funniest line

I'm not an ump - and the story isn't baseball ...

player (Gordie Howe allegedly) "you're the 2nd best ref I've ever seen"...

Ref - gee,thanks - who's the best?

Player - everyone else is tied for #1.

Just listening to a manager tell me he saw a play better than I did from ten times the distance and a straightlined angle is funny enough.

quote:

Originally posted by Gold Glove:
To all of the umps out there:

What is the funniest line you have heard from a coach or a fan that disagreed with your call?

My buddy is a basketball ref in Indiana and he has heard some good one.

This is humorous, and oh so sad...

Bases loaded, visitors batting and down by 1. Perfectly executed squeeze. Everybody's safe.

Home manager comes out to argue. I'm thinking, "WTF could this be about? There was no play anywhere!" Turns out, he wanted an interference call because the bunt interfered with his catcher's ability to catch the pitch. I looked at him, somehow with a straight face, and said, "So what you want me to call is that every time there's a hit, it's interference?"

I am not an umpire either, but I would like to share this with all of you. Last fall at Jr College game we had a rotation of 4 umpires in the two games. This were going along ok. The last plate umpire seamed to have a slightly wider and lower strike zone than the other three. After a hitter was called on a low and outside pitch. A coach walked up to the umpire and asked him quietly "how does that call makes anyone better". The umpire stared blankly at him for a moment and the turned his back to him. I think I was the only spectator to hear this.

Neither of these fit your description of someone disagreeing with a call but I thought both were funny so I will share.
Several years ago, my son's 12u team made it to the championship game in a local tournament. The ump behind the plate was on his 5th game of the day in the 98 degree Mississippi heat. He told my son , who was our catcher, to tell his coach that his strike zone was gonna be "from the door of this dugout, to the door of that dugout".
2 years later we were playing in a 14u tournament and the other team changed their pitcher and catcher.When the inning ended I went onto the field and warmed up my pitcher while my catcher was getting suited up. As I finished, the ump ask me to come see him. He told me that when the other team sent in their new catcher, he ask him if he was wearing a cup. The kid responded "no sir, its just that big"!

Last week at pre game HU said his strike zone "was from the nose to the toes and at the end of the game all pitchers call him Uncle Jim." He wasn't that big and did an excellent job.

My favorite umpire story, which I only read about of course, had to do with I believe Bill Klem or another notable old time umpire. Rookie pitcher throwing against Red Sox, Ted Williams up, borderline pitch, Ball 1, borderline pitch, Ball 2, borderline pitch, Ball 3. Exasperated rookie pitch, Hey ump, how about a strike. Umpire- Mr. Williams will let you know when you throw a strike.

Ron Polk told a story at the ABCA Convention a few years back where they had this dialogue:

Polk: If I called you a *&^%$ &^%^$%& would you throw me out of the game?
Umpire: Yes I would!
Polk: What if I just thought it?
Umpire: I can't really throw you out of a game for what you're thinking.
Polk: Then I think you're a *&^%$ &^%^$%&!

quote:

Originally posted by JMW37:
Ron Polk told a story at the ABCA Convention a few years back where they had this dialogue:

Polk: If I called you a *&^%$ &^%^$%& would you throw me out of the game?
Umpire: Yes I would!
Polk: What if I just thought it?
Umpire: I can't really throw you out of a game for what you're thinking.
Polk: Then I think you're a *&^%$ &^%^$%&!

How old is Polk? This "joke" is at least 50 years old, and depending on the teller, occured in the majors, the minors, college, high school and Little League.

I got a kinda funny story... This year 4 man I am U2, we have R2, and one out... Ball hit down the RF line, F9 makes a running catch moving toward the line in a full sprint. I lined up to watch R2 and the catch... R2 tags on the touch/catch and moves to 3rd.

Someone yells he left early! So F4 gets the live ball and appeals... I safe him. The Defensive coach starts to come out and I am thinking "Why?" So I wait for him to get to me and tells me "I" think he left early...

I say "Coach... I first want you to tell your RF that he made a great catch...don't you think so?"

He say, "Yea, I didn't think he was going to get to it."

I say...So you saw the catch from the 1st base dugout? (dugout is way down 1st base side)

He says yes...

I say...and you saw R2 Tag up at the same time from the dugout also? He just looked at me funny, but didn't answer. I asked again if "he" saw R2 leave early.

He said no, cause I was watching the catch... then I ask who saw him leave early? No answer...

I then explain to him that I have nothing else to do on that play but to watch if R2 tags up or not...

He then looks at me and says, OK I have no clue if the left early... but someone said he did... so lets just move on... I said that works for me... he turns around and trots back to the dugout.

Then F6 comes up to me and says that was great, he said that he never saw his coach "lost for words with an umpire"

I was TD for a FP softball tournament, I was standing on a hill between four fields. It was a critical part of the game, batter steps in and the PU calls her for jewelry, called her out and ejected her. I first thought is here we go. The manager comes out and has an animated discussion to no avail, finished the game losing. The asst coach is a well known very tough judge in the area and he comes straight to me. He wanted to know if the was the correct ruling. I told him I didn't know, I am a baseball guy, but did he protest when it happened. The look was priceless. I told him if not then I couldn't help him but I would find out the ruling and walked away.
Several people came to me and were amazed that I left a judge speechless.