Game Over

Thanks for sharing that with us Coach. It's not easy to do that.

I'm assuming that you're dealing with an uncomfortable situation and you may feel deflated. I'm putting myself in your shoes and I must be honest and say that it is leaving me feeling dejected.

I'm impressed with the clarity in which you have stated your circumstance...again, I know it can not be easy to accept.

Please let us know how this all works out. Your post undoubtedly will help others.

Thanks again Coach.

Coach Robert, It's always good to be reminded that baseball does end eventually. Most of the parents here enjoy baseball a great deal and have sons that did or do love baseball.... otherwise we wouldn't all hang around here. The reminder to let baseball be our boys dream and not ours is a valuable one. When you enjoy something so much and it has brought so much to your life, it's tough to let go, I'm sure.

May your spring still be filled with some good ball as well as appreciating your son's ability to determine what he wants for himself! Be proud that he is mature enough to express his wishes. Best of luck to your son!!

Coach, you are a bigger man then me. Baseball has been part of our household for so many years and I can’t imagine it ending. You are doing the right thing in supporting your son but I can imagine you will have a few sleepless nights.

I have a friend whose daughter went off to college this year and he and his wife are having a tough time dealing with it. Intellectually, we all know its for the best but emotionally……..

My best to your gutsy son – that had to be a very hard decision for him

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quote:

I have asked him on many occasions if he wanted to keep going and he always said yes, he wanted to play. There were a lot of signs lately, but I attributed it to general teenage apathy

Not to throw ice water on an already "very emotional" subject.... and please everyone... "don't kill the messenger because he tells you Carthage is on fire"....

But are there any other "suspicious" signs in your son's behavior? Do not allow to let this "personal bad news" (you dads know what I mean...) cloud what could be some other cry for help... or cover up of "alternative behavior."

Please, I mean NO DISRESPECT IN ANY MANNER, SHAPE OR FORM... just stay totally focused during this extremely hormonal, often irrational teenage period. Even the absolute BEST of kids get goofy ideas on what's cool during this period of their lives.

Now, everyone... my apologies for bringing up such a delicate subject...

And, at ease!


cadDAD


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You traipsed through that minefield just fine cadDAD.

Thanks for your input.

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And you're up too late soldier!

Lights out...



cadDAD

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...ZZZZ...Snorrrrz...ZZZZ...

Coach Robert.. Best wishes to you and your son.

Coach Robert - I always get emotional when I read these types of posts. I think you have the right outlook which is to give him some space. He just may find that yearning in his heart once again. If not, there are treasures in your mind that will last a lifetime.

Best of luck to your son. My family has about 3 years left on this journey unless my boy moves beyond college, but those players are few and far between.

We all need to remember that baseball is just something our kids play, it does not define who they are.

Amen.

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CoachRobert

Have said this before and IMO it bears repeating...

Good time to remember that in the end it is not about the wins, the glory, the on field achievements, the in the stands pride...

...it is about two things...

...First, The communication process, the closeness, the bond that you achieved with your son sharing the championships and challenges. You have certainly established a bond, a language, and a trust that is unbreakable and lifelong...


...Second, the personal lessons learned that can carry a player for a lifetime. Teamwork, work ethic, chasing dreams, running down personal weakness, time management, priorities, responsibility, working within a bigger organization...

...your son should be a much better human being for having played the game and while the personal drama will certainly be missed, you should celebrate and revere lessons well learned.

44
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quote:

Originally posted by observer44:
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CoachRobert

Have said this before and IMO it bears repeating...

Good time to remember that in the end it is not about the wins, the glory, the on field achievements, the in the stands pride...

...it is about two things...

...First, The communication process, the closeness, the bond that you achieved with your son sharing the championships and challenges. You have certainly established a bond, a language, and a trust that is unbreakable and lifelong...


...Second, the personal lessons learned that can carry a player for a lifetime. Teamwork, work ethic, chasing dreams, running down personal weakness, time management, priorities, responsibility, working within a bigger organization...

...your son should be a much better human being for having played the game and while the personal drama will certainly be missed, you should celebrate and revere lessons well learned.

44
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44, an outstanding post.

And tasmit...I'll second that!

I have 2 sons that played baseball together since they were 5. The summer after their sophomore season, the son that pitched had arm problems and had to stop all throwing for 3 months.

During that time, he bought a guitar and taught himself to play. He pitched on JV his junior year because his arm was not ready for the varsity level.

Prior to the summer, he told me that he did not want to play summer ball. It was a difficult time, and I decided to wait a few days before I talked to him. When I did sit down with him, he told me that he did not have the passion for baseball that he previously had. It was obvious that the passion transferred over to music. I asked him to reconsider the summer decision because it was something that he could never get back.

To make a long story short (already too late for that ), he played that summer, was the closer on his HS team his senior year, and is now a junior in college majoring in jazz guitar with a minor in business. He actually knows what he wants to do when he gets out of school.

Be patient and supportive. My other son is playing college ball and when I asked the music major if he regrets his decision, he said that he sometimes wonders what could have been, but he loves what he is now doing.

Good luck.

This is a good reminder for us to remember that it is not about us as parents at all. When they play it is about the kids, and when they 'retire' it is also about them,completely.

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My prediction is that it won't (and this is a scarey thought) be long before you're out watching a grandson try out for Midget Ball.

Some things just can't get squeezed out of the blood...


cadDAD

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CoachRobert,

I know it's hard sometimes in that what we hope for our children and what they want for their own future needs to be reconciled.

Sometimes I wonder if all the training, the preparing, the practice, the drills, the select teams, the money, the travel, and the heartache is all just staving off the inevitable. But to heck with it! You'll always have the memories of your time together as father and son. In the end it was not lost time.

Good luck to you and your son in the future.

Sometimes when players step away from the game for awile. It recharges there passion for the game.
They come back with a burning desire to perform higher then they ever thought they could.
Then it truely becomes there Dream.
Its much easier to step away as a Junior and come back.
Its the players that stop at age 9 to 12 and try to come back to make the HS Team that have a hard time cutting it.
Coach Robert may I ask you a question?
Are you your sons HS coach?
Not that it should make a differance, But sometimes it does.
And it has nothing to do with you.
He could feel extra added pressure to perform.
Are he's getting some Flak from his peers.
Anyway good luck to you and son.
There is life after baseball.
EH

Coach - tough times - hopefully, if the fire doesn't rekindle at some point soon, the 2 of you find something else that you are passionate about and can bond over...best of luck to both of you

Thanks for the kind words and support.

I am not his HS coach, coached him up through 12u with 3 world series tourneys. He then played 13u for a "real" coach & program then went straight to HS due to late birthday.

His 13U, freshman, jv coach (5a school)AND his club coaches eached singled him out at varius times as a team player who gave it everything, lots of "heart". It was the same each year, started out on the bench and was starting or in pitching rotation by the end of each season.

Then last fall he had a chance to switch to a private school with great baseball program (could possibly have started on varsity) but pulled out at the last minute to stay with public school, and did not re-up with the club team.

We let him make the choices and the downside of that is he often choses the opposite of what we hoped.

Sorry about the length here, maybe he will change his mind over the summer but I would not place money on that.

quote:

Originally posted by AcademyDad:
Some things just can't get squeezed out of the blood...

cadDAD

Like the home platelets?


And CoachRobert...you certainly don't have to apologize to me concerning the length of your post...I love words and have no sense...of limits!

I do hope that your son finds the game again...from your description he has much to be proud of and has earned much respect and confidence. Won't you please let us know how things work out?

Your post starts with "game over" but it is actually just beginning. Do I know what it is like to be a dad whose son has just left the game, no way I'm a mom. Many of these post talk about the memories and the closeness that you have gained with your son through the game of baseball. What a joy, but imagine the new experiences that you will have as well. This is an extension of your relationship. You can sit back and look at the man he is becoming and be proud of what both of you have accomplished. You will also be proud of the man he has proven to be when he told your wife he did not want to play any longer. It took guts to say that, knowing your love and passion for the game. As a teacher I know that all children strive to please their parents (although sometimes we do wonder)and your son had to tell you something that he knew you would not be pleased to hear. You and your wife have raised a confident young man. Now you have the opportunity to show him the respect that it is obvious that you have for him and his decision. It is apparent from your original post. I am not sure my husband would have handled as well as you have. We have all gained so much from our children playing this game and I thank god daily for the opportunity and immediatly after that I thank my sons for a great ride.