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Getting old stinks.

I actually pulled out an eyebrow hair that was well over an inch long and mostly white. I cant see anymore and constantly yell at my kids to talk louder. I was about to say when does this all end but I think I know the answer to that.

But what I really want to say is………..what was it that I wanted to say, I think I need to go into the kitchen but I cant remember why, Wait, wait, I’m thinking, why am I writing this………turned 49 on Feb 15.
To our military men, women and families - You are all awesome - that flag is yours and I thank you for the opportunity for giving me the honor of removing my cap prior to every baseball game I see.
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I was born in 1945 -- not sure how old I am because basic math has changed over the years --- or so justbaseball says ---- and justbaseball is always right. I do find myself rambling and forgetting what I said or rather what I was going to say but rambling and saying nothing is another subject. Most of the time this confusion is only in the morning unless it's later in the evening but luckily never in the same day. I couldn't cope with that. Since you brought up cope here's my take on that. I've been working real hard to cope with whatever we're talking about but we all know about the success rate of work especially when you are trying to cope. So please explain how one is supposed to work on trying to cope? That's why I retired last year. Smile
Happy to join in. I don't feel as old as you guys have to feel, since my fingers haven't made as many Posts. Big 50 however! Plan on turning 51 during this spring season.

One of these days when & if all of our boys are done with baseball, you are invited to the half way point between the East Coast & West Coast for a West Texas round of golf (cart included for the really old guys), a cool one, a chance to visit in person & an opportunity to share some of the boys game highlights before we really forget the memories.

Southpaw Pop
How cool!! Everybody fessin' up how many candles they need.
Fungo! Dude, I thot you were like... My age only wwwaaayyy smarter. Smile Okay, I'll give you the way smarter (and wiser) part but you had a 16 yr advantage! I mean a feller can learn a lot in 16 yrs!
One of these days I want to meet the man behind the name... I'll find out where your son's playing and hunt you down, maybe we can do breakfast or something. At our age it might have to be sooner than later! Smile
SSM trying to make us old f*rts feel better about ourselves!
i took my wife to the hospital on fri.for test's. the doctor with the results was older than you'd think. well she tells me she had a mixup in the lab..when i questioned her she explained she mixed up all the blood test's and wasn't real sure which one was my wifes. she said she either had alzhiemers or syphilis? as you would expect,i was floored by this. i said now what do we do? she told me to drop her off at the corner on the way home. if she makes it home don't sleep with her. imagine that.
We all must replace getting old with Humer.
It make's you laugh and keeps you young at heart.

Speaking of Golf in Texas, That sound's like fun.
I usaully shoot in the High 70's low 80's??

If it get's any HOTTER then that, I go in the club house for a Beer.

Here is an actual sign posted at a local golf club:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE. NOW FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, &TEE OFF.

He He the EH
quote:
1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE. NOW FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, &TEE OFF.


THAT IS A KEEPER!!!
What's Up, Doc?
A guy goes to his doctor because he's been having problems remembering
things. After a battery of tests the doctor says, "Unfortunately, I
have bad news, and I have very bad news."
"What's the very bad news?" the man asks warily.
"Well," says the doctor, "our tests show that you have cancer and only
have three weeks to live."
"Oh, my God!" says the man. "Well, what's the bad news?"
"Our tests indicate that you also have Alzheimer's disease," says the
doc.
"Well, I can always look on the bright side," says the man. "At least
I don't have cancer!"
LOST IN THE DARNDEST PLACES:

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator! " she cried.

The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way."

A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ _____


FAMILY

Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, "Was I getting in or out of the bath?"

The 94-year-old yells back, "I don't know. I'll come up and see." She starts up the stairs and pauses "Was I going up the stairs or down?"

The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters. She shakes her head and says, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood." She then yells, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______


"I CAN HEAR JUST FINE!"

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one fine March day. One remarked to the other, "Windy, isn't it?"

"No," the second man replied, "it's Thursday."

And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a beer."
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______


OLD FRIENDS:

Now this one is just too Precious...LOL!

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their acti vities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, "Now don't get mad at me .. I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."

Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ____

SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
____________ _________ _________ _________ _________ ______

DRIVING

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car - both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light." After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.

Again, they went right through The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"

Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, ****, am I driving ?"

EH
Subject: Having a Baby at 65

>> Having a Baby at 65 ...
>
> Just in case any of you were contemplating having another baby.....or know
someone who might...
>
> With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65 year old
woman was able to give birth to a baby.
>
> When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives
came to visit.
>
> May we see the new baby?" one asked.
>
> "Not yet," said the mother.
>
> I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."
>
> Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, "May we see the new
baby now?"
>
> "No, not yet," said the mother.
>
> After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, "May we see the
baby now?"
>
> "No, not yet," replied the mother.
>
> Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
>
> "WHEN HE CRIES!" she told them.
>
> "WHEN HE CRIES?" they demanded to know why.
>
> "Why do we have to wait until he CRIES?"
>
> "BECAUSE, I forgot where I put him.

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