Give a 100%?

I once confronted my HS son and said that because of his commitment to baseball maybe he was missing the "HS experience" with the other HS kids.

Without a pause he said. "Maybe they're missing it?"

When all is said and done two phrases come to mind

Eye of the beholder

and

You make the bed you sleep in.

I think the worse thing you can do to any person is question their commitment without just cause. I hadn't seen a "negative" come from my sons decisions, so who was I to question his path and the last thing I wanted was to be an obstacle.

quote:

Why should a player give a 100% to baseball?

There is a concept taught in Economics called opportunity cost. When you devote resources to one activity they necessarily cannot be employed somewhere else.

For most I am guessing, they should not give 100%. I am convinced there are talented players out there that simply do not love the game as much as the next guy and thus have no problems finding something else to do. For me personally, I have no problems with the time my son devotes to it because that is something he loves to do. I remember a respected coach once told my son that at the upper levels of the game they would make him lose his love for it. There are lost oppportunites out there indeed.

Back to the instant question, if one gives up baseball to pursue other "opportunities" then I believe the same question still remains. What if I would have taken baseball more passionately (or fill in the blank) instead of x, y, or z... Perhaps it is impossible to answer "What if?" no matter what the context

I have a son like yours - everything baseball. My younger guy plays lots of baseball but also has three years of HS football under his belt. Both are very happy. Ask the older one if there was a price and he would say he'd do it all over the exact same way. The younger one wouldn't change his path either. My job was to facilitate opportunities for both and not make decisions for them. There are choices that are made that preclude other things. Baseball is a choice. I know your son had a remarkable career. I think whatever price he paid might turn out as a great investment in life.

Keep in mind that once they reach the HS/College level these young men have made this decision on their own--it is not made by Mommy/Daddy--I do not think they regret it for one minute

My son didn't let his obsession with baseball take over his life until this (junior) year. He has spent August's surfing and jet skiing in California and fishing in Minnesota. He played three sports through freshman year of high school. He still plays two. He snowboards ** on the weekend in the winter. He'll still play college ball.

** No major air or 360's allowed this year ... told him if he gets injured he's paying me back for all the baseball lessons he's had over the winter

Life is all about choices. Success is all about committment.

This is what I have always told my own sons and my own players. You have a short window of opportunity. You will only get once shot at this stuff. When that window closes it closes. Boys I am 50 years old. If I want to buy a new car I can. If I want to take a trip to the beach I can. If I want to go chase the ladies I can. There are many things I can do till they put dirt on me and finally say some nice things about me. But there are some things money can not buy. There are some things you only get one shot at. So if you really want to be the best you can be. If you really want to give it your best shot. If you dont want to stand in the mirror when your 50 years old and wonder "Could I have" " Should I have" "Would I have" then go for it with every once of effort you have in your body. Take your best shot and be everything you can be in this great game. And in the end you will have no regrets. And then when your older like me. You have the rest of your life to do all those things you thought you were missing out on. And you will be able to do them without every wondering what could have been.

quote:

Life is all about choices. Success is all about committment.

Good quote BUT, how do you measure "success" on the baseball field? Winning-Losing? Making the HS varsity? Juco? Small college? Pro? MLB.

Personally I don't think it's about acquiring success --- but --- enjoying the journey.

quote:

Originally posted by Fungo:
Personally I don't think it's about acquiring success --- but --- enjoying the journey.

Good point Fungo. Many will say that that those too "committed" do not enjoy the journey. I'd rather think that in order to be committed you have to enjoy the journey.

Booker T Washington once said.....

quote:

Success is not to be measured by the position someone has reached in life, but the obstacles he has overcome while trying to succeed.

Allow me to offer an analogy

Early in my life , I was dabbling in the music business while at the same time working with my Dad in the construction business--gotta tell you I did not sleep too much--all day working and at night either performing or in the studio or rehearsing---One day my Dad called me into his office for a sit down--basically you have to go one way or the other or you will kill yourself-- he knew I loved both aspects of my life at that time---his thoughts were simple-- take time out and go for it in the music business and see what happens but at least you will be concentrating on one thing---if it doesn't work out you are welcome to come back here when you are ready--I took a few years ,he would phone every few weeks just to see how I was doing, had a few minor hits, had a lot of fun did make some money and spent 24 hrs a day in music industry going for the gold ring---it didn't happen but I gave it 100% and n met some great ppeople-- came back and spent the rest of life in the construction business-- But, and this is the big thing, I can look back and say "I gave it a full shot" and I have recordings of my work to play for my kids and grandkids--there are no what ifs or could haves in my mind-- AND I still have many friends in the business from those years--many things to remember--things that not many other people have

The big thing is not looking back and saying what if!!!!!!

And most of all Thanx Dad for seeing the real me and allowing me to go for it

I am certain that overall my son has not enjoyed the journey over the last few years and he's not enjoying himself this season. He's made good friends and he's making himself a better person but he's not enjoying the journey. What he is doing is enduring a lot to possibly be "successful" in the future. Some refer to that as growing up.

quote:

Originally posted by CADad:
What he is doing is enduring a lot to possibly be "successful" in the future. Some refer to that as growing up.

CADad, I think that Washington quote applies perfectly here. Whether or not he reaches the level he is aiming for, he will probably find out that the journey was a success because of his fortitude and desire. If it ends up that the success is not on the field, the baseball journey will be the foundation of other successes.

quote:

Many will say that that those too "committed" do not enjoy the journey. I'd rather think that in order to be committed you have to enjoy the journey.

I think this is so true.No body could be this committed and work so hard and hate it.People that have a passion for baseball, music, art, whatever they just have it.And that passion drives them.They enjoy what they are passionate and dedicated to it.

My son texted from Palm Springs last night.His team went for a weekend.Playing two intrasquads at the winter training facility.Said fields were nice, announcers, umpires,said it was a lot of fun.He hit his first homerun as a Trojan.

I told him take a mental picture.Enjoy the food with your teammates, enjoy all the fields you will see this year.Enjoy the new friends, your team, college.Take in all of it.

He is living his dream.For us success is not the end result. Success is the journey and how you live it.Lots of successful people who are miserable.

TR,
A dad who can encourage his son to go off and pursue a different field is pretty special.

quote:

Said fields were nice, announcers, umpires,said it was a lot of fun.He hit his first homerun as a Trojan.

I couldn't let that one go by without noticing

I love baseball. I loved playing baseball. I love coaching baseball. But I don't want to spend all my time around it or on the field. I want to play golf, hang out at the beach, do things with friends / family. I want to see what's out there and try it. Maybe I've missed out on some wins here and there because of this attitude but I'm ok with that. I'm happy with who I am and what I've done. I made sure I got my baseball work in as a player and still do as a coach.

At the end of the day can you look back and say "I'm happy with what I did"? To me that is 100% commitment - live life.

quote:

A dad who can encourage his son to go off and pursue a different field is pretty special.

Yes he is!!!!!

Baseball season is always tough for me with my dad gone.So many times I want to pick up the phone and tell him whats going on.

quote:

I am certain that overall my son has not enjoyed the journey over the last few years and he's not enjoying himself this season. He's made good friends and he's making himself a better person but he's not enjoying the journey.

I re read that.Are you mainly referring to just how much hard work the daily grind is? The 6am weights, the 16-18 units, study hall, running, homework, trying to get laundry done.Trying to get enough sleep?
I dont think that part of the journey is fun .But I do agree that it is part of growing up.The learning that anything worth getting that you want requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice.

I am not confronting you Cad just trying to understand what part of journey he is not enjoying.I would learn from your answer.

My Dad was a very special man being as straight laced as he was and allowing me to sort of "free flow"

I do miss him

quote:

Personally I don't think it's about acquiring success --- but --- enjoying the journey.

Yes, I understand the difference and can't disagree. After all, success would be defined by the individual, wouldn't it?

It's semantics I know, but the flip side is if I'm just in this for the ride, just exactly where is it I'm going?

quote:

It's semantics I know, but the flip side is if I'm just in this for the ride, just exactly where is it I'm going?

I see your point.But does there have to be an exact destination?

I think the journey, or the destination can change at any time.

When Son was packing and getting ready to go to school this fall I told him to put the fishing rod in the truck. I wanted him to go fishing when he had time with his buddies so he could enjoy the full experience. Has he? Probably not. But he knows that I want him to not be so wrapped up in baseball that he forgets to stop and smell the roses along the way!

FOG, congrats on your sons HR! I know he had to be stoked hitting it and you even more hearing about it! That's awesome!

As with anything you choose to do in life...
What you give,is what you get.

quote:

Originally posted by Prime9:
It's semantics I know, but the flip side is if I'm just in this for the ride, just exactly where is it I'm going?

Well everyone ends up in the same destination in the end. So that's the reason you need to enjoy the journey.

Baseball provides lots of good things as well. My son went bass fishing today in Myrtle Beach - his offseason home. He lives in a nice condo off a golf course and he does not need much money to live as he splits a three bedroom condo with two ex-teammates. Here is a picture taken a few hours ago on said golf course where they also fish and it indeed looks like a monster - hope Fungo likes it!

Baseball and Fishing...GREAT Combo!

Looks nice.Looks like a beautiful place to live.That's thats one thing about sending them away to college, they fall in love with the place and then they are so far away.

FWI,
My son was a 100% guy, whatever he did he gave it 100%.
He loved baseball, but his life didn't revolve around it 24/7, he loved doing other things just as much as playing baseball, my husband used to wonder where the dedication was at times.
I do beleive my son's love for other interests has made him who he is. That may not be for everyone.
CADad, I am sorry that your son isn't enjoying the journey, but FWIW, the last few years have not been as enjoyable for mine either, with his arm issues, it's been very tough. But he has learned through the years there is quite a bit you have to endure to find success in this game.

Fanofgame,
Way to GO!

fog,
Injuries that led to lack of playing time and a coach that refused to give him a chance after the injuries. This year no big deal just that he's redshirted and the focus is on the beginning of the season. He's having to do it pretty much on his own. The weights, conditioning etc., are something he at least gets a chance to excel at. I guess the things you were calling the grind are the good part for him right now. Other than that getting to long toss and throw pens over winter break while he was home along with making a mechanics change that worked out well has been the highlight over the last few months.

TPM,
Kind of figured that was happening. I hope it works out well and they give him the opportunity to show what he can do once he's 100%.

CD, I'm salivating over it. Could they use another roommate?

cd
that looks like the 4th hole at the pearl golf course. i've sent more than a few balls thata way.

Fungo - I've thought about this question myself over the years. We've tried hard to mix in some other things...always try hard to get them to grandparent things even if during summer baseball (reunions, anniversaries, etc...). A quick zip through the Grand Canyon a couple of years ago. And we drove to Omaha for the CWS two years ago instead of flying...just because we thought the younger ones oughta drive across the country at least once!

We've also tried to mix in some good stuff with the baseball trips...a jaunt down to Tombstone from Tucson, fun on the beach in Sarasota...and took the whole family to Kingsport, Tennessee when the older one was in 15U AAUs. How could we have deprived them of Eastern TN?!?! (And I mean that sincerely).

But while at home, there's a lotta baseball in these boys' lives...and in our daughters' too.

But 100%???? Hmmmm. Hard to say. Certainly at times our boys have been 100%...a lot of the time. But all of the time? Not sure...don't think so. Still probably by the 'average Joe's' measurement...pretty darn close to it.

All I really know is I want each of my kids, no matter what their passion, to have the inner peace that my wife and I have at this point in our lives and look back and think, "Hmmmmm, its been great and I have no regrets!" Nothin' more to ask for as far as I'm concerned.

Noone can tell you what you want to do. Or what you want to try.

The only thing that matters - IMO - is whatever you decide to do or try - do it full tilt - 100% max effort.

Otherwise - why do it at all?

If you do that - its a personal success - no matter the outcome and no matter what anyone else thinks about it. IMO.

That says it all imo.

CADad,

Thanks for explaining.I am sorry that he is injured.I was talking to a dad who's son is just coming back from a injury, and he said it is tough.His coach helped him through it so that was good.
I hope your son is able to come back and have success on the field.Injuries are just such a set back.Ill be saying my prayers for your son.What is his name? Fan

"I know there's a balance, I see it when I swing past."

When it is baseball time you have to give it 100%. But not all the time is baseball time. The thing that I have learned is that baseball is a part of life not life. I find myself remembering all of the things other than baseball. When we remember, we tell stories about fishing and sledding. We tell stories about the conversations, the dinners, the laughs and the tears. We very seldom talk about the games. We find the richness in life everything but the baseball.

quote:

We very seldom talk about the games. We find the richness in life everything but the baseball.

That's really awesome.

Fungo, Interesting question and thoughts.

My son doesn't play baseball anymore. He helped coach a team last summer and I suspect may do so again this year. When he played ball, he gave 100 percent at the cost of everything else. Nothing came before baseball... it was year round and constant. He did so because that was what he wanted and what he loved. It was a passion. It wasn't to obtain anything because he just assumed baseball would always be a part of his life.

When baseball "officially" ends for a player is when I think they can take stock at what they've given to the game. I think it's only then that they and parents can reflect on the sacrifices, the joys, and the journey so to speak.

I don't think my son would change a thing about what he gave. Me? I might encourage him to take a little more time off if I had to do it all over again. While I've missed that constant in my life, I'll be the first to admit that I've been able to enjoy things that I had wanted to do for years. No regrets, but upon reflection... might have done things a little differently.

quote:

Originally posted by deldad:
"I know there's a balance, I see it when I swing past."

When it is baseball time you have to give it 100%. But not all the time is baseball time. The thing that I have learned is that baseball is a part of life not life. I find myself remembering all of the things other than baseball. When we remember, we tell stories about fishing and sledding. We tell stories about the conversations, the dinners, the laughs and the tears. We very seldom talk about the games. We find the richness in life everything but the baseball.

Thanks for sharing those thoughts deldad. That is a perspective from which we can all learn.