Have an early offer - what to do

This is the position you WANT to be in. These are just the options you (and/or your son) want ....But.... you WILL have to choose at some point in time. Two things to remember: all coaches are trying to fill a position and a projected sense of urgency is a fairly common tactic in recruiting. There is urgency of course but coaches usually over state their position hoping a player commits which eliminates the coaches need to compete with other schools. This is free trade buying and selling at its best. You are shopping and marketing your son....coaches are shopping and marketing their programs. The urgent need to commit today is not at the critical stage. You can relax; it’s not Christmas Eve yet. Even in your post you called it an "EARLY" offer. On the other hand there is nothing wrong with committing at the first school that offers ... it could be the perfect fit. But historically speaking, as other options develop, better things do tend to come along. We were faced with the same situation when my son was facing multiple offers. Some coaches agreed to keep the offer on the table until he decided (or so they said) while others put a 1 week deadline on the offer (which they adjusted after the week expired). Use some tact but be honest with the coach. He should know your son has been looking for this day for many years. Explain that while his offer looks very good It would be unfair to your son not “explore” some other options. You might say; “Give us a couple of weeks, your offer looks good and the program looks good. Would you allow us to compare them with some other schools?” His answer will really tell you a lot about him and his program.
Fungo
PS..I address this post to you when it might be your son making the decision. I feel the strategy is the same..

Long Live
Keep in mind that the early signing period doesn't start until Nov. I would speed up the visits to the other schools so that your son has the most info as possible as quickly as possible. Then you can evaluate all 3 offers and make the best choice.
I would do my homework on all 3 schools. Look at rosters, who's graduating, who did they bring in as freshmen, and most important where is he going to get the best education. That way when decision time comes, you will have as much info as possible.
Congratulations and good luck.

LLB..

Congrats on a very happy dilemma to have!

IMO, I would call up the "October Visit" school and tell them the situation and the need to speed things up. In our experience, they will probably do that for you.

Fungo is correct, this is a very good dilemma. However, as good as it is, it can become stressful.
If your son's choice will be dependent upon the better scholarship, that may never come.
If your son wants to wait to make a decision until all of his visits, then he needs to tell the coaches this after each visit. If they really want him, they will wait, if they won't wait they will tell him that. If they want him more than anyone else, they might offer him more.
I found that being honest was the key to my son's recruiting experience.

We have a similar problem. Son has several excellent early offers at D1 schools. His above average grades are finally paying off and in combination with his pitching, can choose between a number of full tuition offers. Fell in love with 2nd official visit. Son sees no reason to visit his other three choices. Wants to commit right now and show the coach he feels as strongly about them as they do about him.

Problem: As a parent, I don't want him to make a hasty decision based on emotion. I also feel that he will ultimately choose this school (its a great baseball program and he will be given the opportunity to become the best pitcher he can under wonderful coaching), but want him to "mull it over" for a few weeks. Coaches are not pressuring him, but would like to know where they stand so they can recruit elsewhere if they don't sign our son. I understand this. Some of his visits aren't till next month and son feels dishonest letting other schools invest in him when he thinks he's done. I just want him to be sure and feel that weighing all your options is wise.

Do we insist that son take additional planned visits (we're talking major baseball schools) or let him make his intentions known today? He's making a choice for the next 3-4 years. Such a big decision!

First, I wish you both the best of luck with your son's college decision. What I would say is to ask yourself, after researching each school's baseball program, academics, location, etc. etc. are all the schools on his "visit" list truly equal? Has your son really decided that he would be happy going to any of these schools? If so, then his tie breaker is going to be the "feel" of the campus or coach/team chemistry, or final $ offer - right? So, if he needs a true tie-breaker, wait and go on all of the visits. But if you have already prioritized your list and the top school is the one making the offer, DON'T wait. I'm just playing devil's advocate here. But I've met folks who wanted as many visits & offers on the table just because it made them feel good (bragging rights). And, I've seen it back-fire a few times with the kid losings the offer they really wanted as they waited to collected more. Wait until the offer is right, but remember this is a competitive market so don't wait too long.

.

KC,
My son felt the same way. Why should they invest in him when he knew where he wanted to go after that visit. He never took all 5 visits. He called the other coaches in september and told them to invite someone who really has their school #1 on their list.

This year, at a game, one of those coaches approached him to say hello and wish him the best. What he did was important to them I suppose.

I don't understand the hang up in this 5 visit thing. If everything feels right the first or maybe second school visit, go for it.

The bottom line is that the boy has to be sure of his choice--one visit or 5 visits (official) or however many unofficials he takes.

I sat with one of our players a week or so ago and discussed with he and his family his options--he had already taken two officials and one upcoming and had offers on the table. After much discussion I asked him to look me in the eye and tell me if he were ready to make a decision.

His answer was a very quick and simple NO!!!--He was still unsure --thus do not commit even if the offers are good because they are no good if 6 months down the road you are not happy

Only the player knows in his heart when it is right !!!

Our game plan was to take all five visits. Lay all the offers out, analyze the situation, weigh options. He got in two visits and #4 called to say they were already out of money. He wanted to go to #2 anyway and did. I don't know anyone who had the luxury of 5 visits. The recruiting system does not appear to work that way.

TR,
Agree with your post. However, not sure what players are looking for these days, the better offer, the better school, the better academics, chance to play earlier, the better baseball program?
If these questions are identified early on, it takes some of the indecisiveness away. JMO.
As stated, son had 5 visits scheduled, went to Clemson, he KNEW it was right, he wanted out of the ohers right awy. We talked him into going to visit the state school before a decision was made. We went, we knew right away on that visit, it wasn't going to work for him. At teh state school he had a better offer, closer to home, more friends, great facilities, free tuition. But he KNEW it wouldn't work. The only positive was it helped to reinforce his early decision, but we should have listened to what he wanted to do from the beginning.

We moved up the third visit to this coming weekend. Thanks for the advice! SOn talked to visit #1 coach and asked him to hold tight - he's his first choice right now, but would like to look at one more. Coach was OK with that.

This is what gets me though - select coach keeps calling and saying, you can do better (even did it last night) and why is son so intent on signing early? If he waits, he can go BIG school. What is the purpose of that? The what-if's will get ya! I don't feel he should take the chance and lose out on opportunities available right now. Any BTDT?

LLB, that's a great dilema and have been given good advise here - tho it seems your select coach is NOT on the same page
have you or your son discussed with him what you're looking for in college choices? not that you have to unless his input is important to you

it could just be that coach wants BIG & FARAWAY DI schools on his player placement resume
for his ego and future select recruiting

regarding getting better offers after he commits -
"WHEN" your son has "THE FIT" at the school he commited to - he'll be ready to start the conversation with ANY COACH that calls with - "thanks for your interest coach, I'm off the market now"

good luck

The bottom line for a good "SELECT' coach is that his players are attending colleges that they are happy with regardless of size and location

Was unfortunate to have encountered a "select" coach this summer who wanted his players to attend big name D1 schools of his choice and if they crossed him in any way, he bashed them to the colleges of their choice. It is a sad reality that there are coaches like this out there.

puma

I agree that there are but they, thankfully, a few and far between

The worst part is that there is no way to let these kids or parents know what kind of person they are dealing with. I would think that the college recruiters would know better than to put any faith in this coach's "unkind words", but these boys need every chance they can get to get to the next level and derrogatory(sp?) remarks do not help at all!

quote:

Originally posted by puma1:
Was unfortunate to have encountered a "select" coach this summer who wanted his players to attend big name D1 schools of his choice and if they crossed him in any way, he bashed them to the colleges of their choice. It is a sad reality that there are coaches like this out there.

Well, he has just done it to another one last week. He feels that players should also attend showcases of his choice and be seen by whom he likes. So how many players and parents is that now that this "select" coach has hurt, taken their money, and deceived? Oh, rules are different for different players. You're right PUMA, a darn shame that this man continues to ruin boys reps. Don't worry, my understanding is that scouts & recruiters no longer take him seriously.

"Dad, this is where I want to go to school. I like it here. I like the coaches."

After initial dinner.

Didn't matter what the offer was.
(Was very good)

Didn't matter about the academics.
(They are good enough.)

Grades will get you into the door everytime.

So, will, "I played baseball at State University."

As for where the college coaches are I know of cases where the college coaches in our region have told parents not to let their son play for certain coaches and programs.

Perhaps the tide is turning

quote:

Well, he has just done it to another one last week. He feels that players should also attend showcases of his choice and be seen by whom he likes. So how many players and parents is that now that this "select" coach has hurt, taken their money, and deceived? Oh, rules are different for different players. You're right PUMA, a darn shame that this man continues to ruin boys reps. Don't worry, my understanding is that scouts & recruiters no longer take him seriously.

Sounds like the same guy who tried to trash my son to the university he had a scholarship from. After my son left the team, this coach called and trashed me for not being honest. He claimed that he never said bad things about my son, just me. Like that makes a difference. His intent was to get my son's scholarship revoked by claiming that I wanted more money and was manipulative. His reasoning was that because I didn't return his phone calls or emails, he did it to get even. I would imagine that being from Florida, it is the same guy. (Central Florida). BTW, it did not work, and my son got offered more money. lol Troll!

We came out on top in our college situation, dealing with this "select coach", but I know too many that didn't. There is never a need for a coach to intentionally bad mouth a player.The lives and opportunities he has ruined is shameful. But how do we stop it? While his word is worthless, his attempt to represent himself as a coach trying to provide a future for players is so far from the truth. His irresponsible phone calls could put up red flags to un-knowing coaches or recruiters.

Puma

You have a PM.

That is true. A dad told me they got to an Ivy official visit and the coach asked his son...

"Who is Coach --- ------, and why is he telling me you will be a cancer on my team?"

This player had never even played for that scout team coach before that, but had merely hesitated in committing to the scout team due to conflicts with his high school team.

He ended up signing with an ACC school.

He pulls the same **** over and over and the only guy he screws up is himself. He is very twisted and self-destructive, not worthy of coaching young men

About 2 years my son switched summer teams to a team that was closer to where we lived. The new team held parent/player meeting with each player. We were told by his coaches that he was not one of ther top 5 pitchers and would see limited action as a reliever. I was livid that they would say this to a 16yr old to his face. It appeared they did this more to get at me than anything else. (A Long Story). I reminded them of the six innings he threw against them last year and managed 1 baserunner.
I talked to my son and asked him how he felt about the remarks and gave him an opportunity to go to another team. He just said he had to show them and went on to be their go to pither. Last year I was going to pull him out of the team and let him work to get ready for College. I already had enough great video to market him for the next school year. They talked us into staying and he had an amazing year.
However we were getting no interest from schools of any stature. We started an e-mail campaigne and sending videos. Keep in mind that his coaches were unfriendly to my wife and I. My wife stopped going to watch him play. The cold glares of his pitching coach were too much for her. We did nothing to deserve this and felt uncomfortable at the ball park every time we went. The parents were great and I just stayed with them and avoided the coaches.
I started getting response to the video from great schools. I was sitting beside the head coach by accident and mentioned the school my son was interested in and that he had an unofficial visit lined up. The coach said he would never make that school. I cut all coaches out of the loop and never used them as references. The school was in Nevada and they ended up signing one HS player and the rest were all JUCO. But he did sign with his second choice 3 weeks before classes started. What a nightmare. We had thought he was getting an offer from his 1st choice but it didn't come.
The point is that his coaches were not on his side and I was afraid to have them contacted. Even the parents noticed this. Not just my son but other players getting the same treatment. Our best hitter quit because of the coaches attitudes.

Bobblehead

The coach was up front with you and since you are not getting interest perhaps his assessment was correct

Coaches see players in a different light than the parents do

Actually it looks like Bobblehead's son did already sign for a baseball scholarship at a college he likes (his second choice). Just thought I would note that to correct the statement "since you are not getting interest perhaps his assessment was correct".

Congrats to your son, Bobblehead!

after rereading the post by Bobblehead, I got the impression that his son was good enough to play at the college of his choice (but his coach and staff were going behind their backs and discrediting the boy)

Congrats to your son Bobblehead!

The reason I posted that was to let players know that coaches are not always right and if you feel you can play at a high level don't let coaches put you down. Also beware they could be working against you behind your back. A couple years ago he was at the long Island Tiger Classic in the fall right after that attack After he pitched the the coach was handed a card by the NY City Tampa scout and told to give it to me and that he was on his prospect list. He was the only one who got any interest. I have to admit it felt good.
My son is rooming with a great catcher from Dallas area.
TRhit I understand that parents see their kids through rose coloured glasses but numbers don't lie. I have always let the coaches do their job and the only time I get involved is in private away from the ball park. If I see him not mechanically sound I review the video and discuss it with him.
When I say he wasn't getting interest I mean from schools that he wanted to go to. He, not me has goals that are lofty. I am going to be the last one to tell him he can't do it.
He is very intimidated by the amazing talent on his team. There are 3 guys throwing mid to upper 90s. I have reassured him that the nervousness is normal. He has taken a huge step out of his comfort zone.

Don't let coaches put you off your dreams.

By the way he just threw 1 inning and had 2Ks 2BB and a pop up. 0 Runs Didn't break 80MPH and was the only pitcher out of 17 that didn't allow a run.

quote:

Don't let coaches put you off your dreams.

BobbleheadDoll, you are ABSOLUTELY correct. It makes NO sense, but there are SOME coaches out there that epitomize everything that should NOT be in a "coach." We have experienced our share of good AND bad. And the BAD ones can and do seriously hurt their charges. Coaches are not gods...neither are doctors nor any of the other "helping" professions. It only takes ONE bad apple to negatively affect one's experience. Throw it out and move on!

Congratulations, Bobblehead. Coaches can be very touchy sometimes, especially at the high school and select level. My son's jv coach (when he was a freshman) went on a message board and claimed my son was overrated and had a weak throwing arm, which was not the case. He used a variety of screen names and had a great conversation with himself while damaging my son's reputation. Although my son (who is a catcher) signed early last year with a D1, the reputation still haunts him to some extent.

I was on the selection committee to hire a new varsity coach, and he was a candidate, but I did not recommend him. That's when the attacks on my son started on the internet. He was eventually exposed and was fired from his position.

Unfortunately, with many of these things, you have to watch out for yourself. Hard work and fair play are not necessaril rewarded all the time.

US it is hard to believe that an adult can be so nasty. I could go on for hours about what I have seen coaches do to other players. Unlike in the States our HS ball is weak and our Elite teams are were you play if you are good. The fortunate or unfortunate thing about the Elite ball is that if you can pay you can play or atleast join a team. I hate to paint all teams the same colour but this is generally the case. We have some great coaches and my son has been fortunate to have been coached by some of them. Our team over the years has hosted several magor tournaments including the NABF World Series. We have played against several great US teams and appreciate all of that exposure and the hard work that most coaches put into the teams. Unfortunately the last couple of years a couple of the coaches held a grudge against us for somethjing we had no involvement in but were at the wrong place at the wrong time.
We started to see the politics when my son was playing rookie ball. 9 years old and was not showing any particular skill until about 1/3 of the way through the season. He was called up to the AAA Allstar team and that was were life began to take on a new meaning for the word politics. God I enjoyed that year watching parents and coaches jockying for playing time for their kids. My wife and I were cluless and just happy to see him play

One of the things I've tried to teach my son is that baseball mirrors life, and one aspect of this is that you encounter a broad spectrum of different personalities in coaches, umpires, and teammates. Like in life, you have to figure out how to work productively with all of them ... you can't simply choose to work with those you like and disassociate from those you don't. You have to figure out how to make things work and achieve goals, even if you're playing for, playing with, or being judged by someone that you really don't like that much. You have to focus on what you can control, and that is your own actions and behavior. If you can learn to be successful at this, you can succeed in many things in life.

Now, that's as it pertains to working with 'good' people versus not so good people. But I draw a firm line between learning how to work productively with different personalities versus someone that is simply unethical and lacks moral values. I come from the old time "farmers school" of you simply don't tolerate unethical people that lack integrity. You disassociate yourself from them, you confront them, you expose them, and if they attempt to affect material harm upon you and your family, you show them the "wages of their ways" by going after them through every legitimate means at your disposal.

Excellent points ! The way we dealt with it was to cut them out of the loop. We marketed my son ourselves and were fortunate to have great video that I took over the year before he was going to school. I can't stress how important that was to him getting offers. Not one coach asked to talk to his coaches and if they did I would be very nice about the things I said about them. I let them take the credit for his signing and we never say anything bad about them.A couple of them I still have great respect for and wish them well. I am sure they were upset with my son's self marketting and lofty goal. They did however set up the games that I took the videos of and gave him the opportunity to throw against some of the best teams in the US and Canada.