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39 replies

Here's something we can all get behind

Ben_DiggleBen_Diggle100+ posts
I've got a quandry concerning some of my players.

A good number of them -- both those still in high school and those that are currently freshmen in college -- have come to me with the same problem: they don't like to party and there's not many entertainment options otherwise.

Now I'm not old by any stretch of the imagination (just turned 30), but I was stumped. There's always the movie option or the video-game option, but they're kind of bored with that stuff.

So I've been trying to come up with an answer to their problems and I've hit a brick wall. If any of the parents on here have suggestions or any of the kids, let me know.
Ben_Diggle=Ben Diggle
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CoachB25CoachB25Honorary "Old TImer"
Here is something that some of my teams have done. They went to a group of parents and asked them if they would be willing to host one night per weekend as a "team night." This would rotate and the families that hosted the "night" would come up with different things to do but the players would end up back at that home. They have done things from hosting pool tournaments to basketball competitions.

One other thing that some college students might want to consider is a roving study group. By "roving," they can take their books to some places to eat, be out and about and yet, get their homework done. I know this sounds dumb but it might fill in the time.
Ben_DiggleBen_Diggle100+ posts
Trust me, I'm very proud that these kids are making the right decisions. And like anyone else, we have kids that are making the wrong decisions. But after a long record of too many kids around here making bad choices, it seems like we've finally got a good number that want to play ball, get good grades and keep their noses clean otherwise.

I appreciate all the suggestions so far. We're going to host a World Series party the weekend of the 25-26, so that's a start.
FastballDadFastballDad1,000+ posts
All these ideas are good ones. I'm really not sure that it falls to parents or coaches to think of things to entertain kids of this age.

When my kid was playing travel on the road, there was a certain group on every team that was going to get into trouble if it was there to be found. There was always another group that hung together and behaved themselves as should be expected.

Perhaps consequences need to be in place that deal with these things. A lot of coaches don't want to suspend or kick off a team someone who hits .500 and crushes the ball, but we aren't doing them any favors by talking the talk and not walking the walk with our expectations for these kids.

I do see a real value in building a team......perhaps various activities for team building would also give them soemthing to do along the way.
Last edited by FastballDad
S soxnole1,000+ posts
What's wrong with hanging together,partying together in your own way. Does "partying" mean drugs only?

My son had this exact dilemma beginning junior year in HS.

He simply chose his friends carefully and in the end belongs to a group that are as tight as you can get.

Maybe reaching out to date as many gals that they can who share the same common goals and general philosophy would be good as well.

These are two approaches that worked for my guy and he benefitted socially at the same time.
Ben_DiggleBen_Diggle100+ posts
To be clear, I'm not talking about when we're on the road. In two years of doing this, I have yet to have a player get in trouble on the road because if they do, they go home and I keep their player fees.

When we had tryouts this weekend, some of our returning players simply stated they were having a hard time finding entertainment options that didn't involve alcohol and drugs or general small-town shenanigans. And 95 percent of our kids are small-town kids.

I'm simply trying to help them out because this is a topic that concerns me. I've watched far too many players, both guys I played with and against, or have written about or coached against wash their careers away with that stuff.

And I'd love if they all hung out together, but the ones in high school live anywhere from an hour to two hours apart and the ones in college are separated by anywhere from an hour to six hours.
Last edited by Ben_Diggle
H Hopperhop100+ posts
One thing that has been popular in the North Shore area the last few years was the game of Bags or Cornhole as some call it but I do not like that name really. My son and his friends would play that game for hours and have tournaments that went into the wee hours and order pizza or food for a break when they played. Sounds kind of crazy but all of the kids seemed to really like this non electronic, low tech game. Can't beat the price compared going to the movies!!
Last edited by Hopperhop
CS Coach Steeley10+ posts
I think something that is sorely needed in kids now is the deeper understanding of the game of baseball. Maybe a good idea would be to watch a game on tv together, right now is a perfect time for that. Pitchers can discuss hitter recognition or swing and pitch reaction. I tell our guys to chart games on tv and give me a situation that you did not agree with in the pitch selection or was there something that surprised you.

I honestly think that what you have is a good problem and that, if anything, just spending time to know one another better by not masking fake masculinity like so many other boys there, will be a huge step towards proper maturation.
NelsonGordNelsonGord100+ posts
Someone mentioned in an earlier post "church youth groups". There is something even more applicable than the church group for these boys, the FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes). This group has been around for 50+ years and always has events, gatherings, etc. for the kids to get involved in. I recently started an FCA "huddle" at Play Ball and am looking forward to it growing and touching the lives of so many of the kids out there who do not know where to turn. Check out the website www.fca.org
JPontiacJPontiac500+ posts
As a high school junior who is one of the few in my school to choose to abstain from illicit activities, we few stick close together and will do anything, even if just watch TV at each others' houses, to not have to resort to going to parties with illegal behavior. We normally find things to do like rent a video game to try and beat for the night, practice baseball, play fantasy baseball, catch a flick, go bowling or just gather with others who don't wish to sacrifice their well-being and athletic careers. Some boring nights have resulted from our choice, but the positives far outweigh the negatives. I know the worst of the negatives very well, as my brother died last year in an alcohol related auto accident.
T theGLOVE1210+ posts
Go to parties. Bring a red bull. Grab a red cup when you get to the party and drink the red bull from the cup. Why can't you go to a party and have fun without alcohol? Alcohol is a social lubricant that kids today feel they need to fit in. The red cup might make them feel more comfortable around everyone else who has one in their hand. Plus get a sugar high from the red bull! I don't think people should shy away from parties just because of alcohol because there are tons of people to meet and who knows, maybe there are other non-drinkers there that you can become friends with.
JPontiacJPontiac500+ posts
The problem is that even attending a party without actually doing anything illegal is incriminating. If a cop showed up, your name would be written down and that violates most schools' athletic codes. I know that out of season that would make me miss 1/4th of my games. I've also seen recently in news outlets that being photographed at a party can be used against you at your school even when the photo is posted on myspace, facebook, etc.

Maybe in college that can be an alternative, but in high school going to parties is way too big of a risk.
Last edited by JPontiac
T TNHN11100+ posts
Dont know about where your from but down here if you are caught at a party with alcohol it is automatic 3 game suspension and if you were drinking yourself it is more.

My space pages, facebook pages are all fair game for HS coaches to look on and see posted pictures of HS kids and see if a player on your team is in the picture with a beer nearby.
CPLZCPLZ1,000+ posts
theGlove12,

Whether you know it or not yet, people tend to become who they hang out with. Hang out with a bunch of people that drink regularly, and chances are, you'll wind up drinking. Same is true for most social behaviors.

That's why parents like me don't want my kids hanging where poor decisions are being made. It makes my kids susceptible to poor decision making also.
Last edited by CPLZ
T theGLOVE1210+ posts
I'm sorry to confuse some people. I was referring to college kids. In high school, I understand staying away from those social situations because yes, in that case, it is guilty by association. High school is completely different from college however and I should have made clear that my post was directed towards "the freshmen in college" the original poster was referring to.

As far as college, you can't tell me that a kid is expected to shy away from parties. I have no problem going to parties and not drinking. I agree that surrounding yourself with alcohol every weekend is probably not the best idea. I should have said "go to some parties." Another way to stay clear of drinking is to volunteer to be the designated driver. The most important thing to look at is this. As a student athlete, your priorities are #1 school, #2 baseball, and #3 your social life. Have a great time in college because it's the best 4 years of your life, but don't let #3 get in the way of 1 and 2.
JPontiacJPontiac500+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by theGLOVE12:
I'm sorry to confuse some people. I was referring to college kids. In high school, I understand staying away from those social situations because yes, in that case, it is guilty by association. High school is completely different from college however and I should have made clear that my post was directed towards "the freshmen in college" the original poster was referring to.

As far as college, you can't tell me that a kid is expected to shy away from parties. I have no problem going to parties and not drinking. I agree that surrounding yourself with alcohol every weekend is probably not the best idea. I should have said "go to some parties." Another way to stay clear of drinking is to volunteer to be the designated driver. The most important thing to look at is this. As a student athlete, your priorities are #1 school, #2 baseball, and #3 your social life. Have a great time in college because it's the best 4 years of your life, but don't let #3 get in the way of 1 and 2.


Very appreciative of the explanation. Our feelings aren't too far off after all.

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