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I've got a horrible situation at my son's high school that I'm not sure how to handle:

The assistant head baseball coach (non-faculty) at our large 4-A high school keeps sending me emails demanding that I "give" him $5,000 so that he can put together a select summer team for 17U's. He is also demanding that I find him investors so that he can build a baseball academy.

My son is a 15 yr old freshman who played USSSA major ball for this coach as a 13 year old. We quit that team because the coach was a "weirdo" to put it mildly.

Now, this coach has ended up at my son's high school and has basically been given the keys to run the show. The headcoach has been very successful and has been at the school for a long time. However, the new assistant coach has alot of say in regards to the baseball program.

My son had a great tryout and won the starting SS position on the freshman team. When the assistant coach first asked for money, I came up with some excuse not to pay. The next practice my son was moved to third base by the assistant coach. The coach asked for money again (wanted 1/2 up front) and I again refused. My son ended up batting in the 9-hole even though he had the highest BA on the team (.666). The assistant coach then tells me and my son that he will be moved up to JV soon. A few days later he makes demands for me to find investors for a baseball warehouse. I refuse. My son is now on the bench.

Is there a high school rule that prohibits this kind of behavior/solicitation? I've been warned by some upper classmen parents that the head coach will take the side of his assistants and that I should not go to the head coach with this issue.

My son loves the high school and does not want to leave. What in the world do you do in this kind of situation?

Help.
cream rises to the top
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Please, please document everything, save e-mails and so-on. Bring them to the AD and the Princpal and even the school board if you have too. This guy sounds way out there.
As long as you're telling us everything and you haven't ever implied that you could back him financially, you should be in a good position to get some action taken against this guy.
Thanks Coach. When my son played tournament ball for this coach I, along with other parents, raised considerable money for the team. I know that's where he got the idea of asking me for money. The AD hired him and is his 3rd cousin, but the school is well known as a top-flight academic and atheletic program.

In one of my emails, I did try out put him off by saying that I would ask around to see if anyone was interested in investing in his proposed baseball academy. This guy is super vindictive and I didn't want to come out and tell him where to stick his solicitation. However, the remainder of my emails clearly state that I don't have the funds to help him with his personal projects.

Thanks for your reply.

Garse
Wow Garse.....quite an awful situation.....just want to reiterate the importance of keeping all correspondence, as well as documenting dates, times of phone calls, or face to face solicitations.....maintain it all.......and when you do have that meeting.....don't give the AD your only copies.....sure you have already thought of all this.....hope the AD is objective and can look beyond family ties.....if not.....you may have to be prepared to go to school administration, and/or the school board. His behavior, if proven, would probably result in his removal from staff......at least it would in our high school.....

Good luck......
I would follow the advice that coachric gave you. Go to the AD, if that doesn't workout, go to the administration. If that doesn't work go to the county Board of Ed. I'd also look into contacting a lawyer and ask them if there is any law being broke by this idiot. I'm sure that he is. Just be sure that you have all the documentation of calls and e-mails.
If what you say here is true, I am amazed you have to ask what to do. I'd go straight to the police. I don't even understand what there would be to think about. Further, any school that would tolerate such actions is not much of a school in any way. On the other hand, maybe the situation has more shades of gray than what has been presented.
wow,
up here hs coaches have been known to put the squeeze on parents for a dozen baseballs and a bag of lime, then gladly settle for 5 gal of gas for the mower Eek

so he's the AD's cousin?

get your investors lined up for him (all undercover) unless they are also related

1) the local prosecutor
2) an FBI guy
3) a Sheriff
4) Geraldo Rivera

if you don't get anywhere with that, there are some guys here, who know some guys,
who know some guys

.
Last edited by Bee>
A local public HS team had a similiar problem that was messy for two years rather then one becuase nobody wanted to rock the boat. The AD fired the coach (didn't renew his contract) only after parents complained that they were being required to play on the coaches Joe D. team ($$) and to buy team bags etc. from him. These kids ended up playing in weak Joe D. league when they could have played on a higher level Connie Mack or Legion team for the same price.

The longer you wait to address the situation with the AD and head coach the bigger the problem become for you and everyone else. There is no way to avoid taking one on the chin, however if you act now you can possbly avoid the second/third/fourth shot to the chin. Don't let let the coach make more victums. This is a no win situation for everyone that can only get worse. I am sure you don't want to be "required"/"suggested" to play for this guy's summer team............
It's Louisianna.....Standard Operating Procedure in that state based upon my history.

Tried to get a contractors license there BEFORE Katrina hit...was told I had to pay off the guy at the Licensing Board $5,000....told him no, I wanted to do it the legal way.....he laughed and said that was the legal way.

Now I hear the Licenses are going for $25,000 cash money.

This guy is probably related to the AD, the Superentendent or the President of the Parish or School Board.

They see you as having deep pockets.....I feel for you.
This is not only unethical behavior it quite possibly could be construed as illegal behavior as in the form of extortion etc. I would document everything even have any phone conversations recorded. I would even go as far as having him put in writing his demands. I would approach the powers to be once I had the documentation in hand and not before. Good luck this guy if this is accurate information is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out there and needs to be dealt with right away. Good luck
Garse...You have been patient WWWWAAAAYYYY TOO LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Agree with most everyone.

Document everything and confirm your conversations with him with emails to him.

Copy everything that is dated...prepare a chronology of what is said and done....

Extortion is an appropriate term.

Go direct to the principal, super; and, get yourself placed on the school board meeting. Make sure you contact a couple of local newspapers (especially those that have young reporters).

Things will change immediately!
This guy is a common criminal. Count on two things - they all act and think alike:

(1)He thinks there is no way you can convince anyone he is doing something wrong.
(2) If not now, very soon there will be another guy in your shoes.

You have two choices: (1)Find the other "victim" and document everything and present it to the school superintendent. In the mean time hope that your son continues to play very well.
(2) Change schools, which is what I personally might consider. No matter what you do your son will wind up with the short end of the stick. Sounds like a chickens**t (pardon the crude expression) way to handle things but given the situation, it might be the only vialble alternative. Anything else is going to put your son in a very bad position.

Louisiana - a whole 'nother country.
Last edited by itsagreatgame
Tough situation.... for your son! The last thing that your son probably wants is dad making a huge deal out of this. While I certainly agree with the majority, I would also have to consider my son's opinion.

Now this is contrary to everyone else but I would probably try to raise the money for your son's benefit... document everything... then surprise the schmuck later. Even if you only raise a portion it is much easier to set up a "sting" if he thinks you are on his side.

I see no upside for your son trying to get this guy now because you will probably be unsuccessful anyway. However, if after you get him a little cash and he moves your son back in the line-up it will go along way proving your point. He would now simply say that your son isn't good enough and you are a disgruntled parent.

Best of luck.
Last edited by Callaway
People... Let's not forget. We're talking about Louisiana here. This is not simply a different area code. This is an alternate state of being.

Napoleonic Law

I can't begin to understand the plight this family is in because they live in a different world. Not that Louisiana and all things Cajun are bad. Absolutely not. I'm just real glad I don't have a dog in this fight. It could turn really ugly, and I, for one, am not half so wise as to pretend to offer advice on this one.
Incredible - I agree with the other posters - document everything and take it to the AD and the Principal. You could also give the coach a list of the Boosters Board and their numbers and tell him to contact them so that they could arrange a fund raiser for him! I'm sorry about your son, that is really rough, but you cannot let the coach get away with this sort of thing.
agree that things are different in Louisiana

but hey, there are low interest home equity options like "ditech.com" & others.
also consider a reverse mortgage.

name your tavel team "Huricanes", you just might be able to "slip one by" FEMA
requesting funds, just about everyone else has.


also, many would consider it a "dream come true" to be part owner of a baseball academy & sponsor a high profile travel team.

why fight destiny?

noidea


good luck
Last edited by Chairman
Something doesn’t ring true here. Your son quit his team as a 13 year old and now this coach is “demanding” you pay him $5,000.00 so he can start another team? (Hard to believe he is demanding money)

The head coach has been very successful and he suddenly has turned it all over to a non-faculty coach you describe as a weirdo? (that is hard to believe)

I have no doubt that the coach has “asked” for money to help start a team (very common) and I can also believe your son has been jerked around by this coach changing his position and promising him something and not delivering ( very common) and your son has been benched and lesser talented players are allowed to play (very common). All of these things happen daily in every state. The unique thing about your situation is you feel the harsh treatment of your son is linked directly to your failure to pay money to the assistant coach. Could your frustration for the unjust treatment of your son influence your perception of the solicitation activity of this coach? If you say no, I would contact the Louisiana High School Athletic Association immediately at:
(225) 925-0100 or (225) 925-0104
Last edited by Fungo
Fungo: I have a lot of respect for your opinion, gleaned from reading your posts for a couple of years.

I look at it this way - if I give the guy the money his is repeatedly "asking" for then doesn't it appear as if I am "buying" favors for my son. It would sure appear that way to the parents of the other kids.

Is it really a common practice for assistant coaches to ask parents for money for the assistant's own personal use?

Bottom line, my kid loves this school, ie: friends, girlfriend etc. My son loves baseball, but not enough to leave all of his lifelong friends. Additionally, this school is the TOP academic high school anywhere around South Louisiana, the alternative high schools are frightening.

If the head coach backs the soliciter (assistant coach) I've just ended my son's baseball playing days. That's the situation.
Garse,
I do understand I’m looking through one knothole in the outfield fence and may not see the whole picture so my opinion is very narrow and I may be way off base so let me apologize if I seem insensitive. Parental “giving” and the perceived “buying” of favors from the coaching staff goes on too often. We can all get caught up in it whether we want to or not. We want to help the coach and the program but we don’t want to feel obligated. If we don’t do enough we are labeled as a non-supportive poor excuse for a parent and if we do too much we get accused of being an a$$ kisser. We have to ignore all that! Anyone that knows me knows that I was heavily involved in the high school baseball program when my son was playing. I never gave much money but I did give lots of time and effort. I was heavily involved to say the least....but....I drew a line at the backstop. I had to separate supporting my son and supporting the program and did not allow the two to become intertwined. I remember the head coach standing in front of the parents asking for help and in the same breath he emphatically said--- “Whatever you do will have NO bearing on whether your son plays baseball at this high school!” I appreciated him saying that. I wanted to help but I also wanted my son to earn whatever he received. I made a pact with myself and with my son that what I did or didn’t do will have no bearing on him sitting on the bench or being the starting pitcher.
I apologize for being insensitive but when a parent attempts to put parental support and playing time in the same sentence I think it needs to be nipped in the bud! As far as the request or demand for money goes, if any coach had asked me for $5,000.00 I would have looked at him and told him immediately what I thought of his idiotic request.
Fungo
You know Fungo when all is said and done....this guy has been a member of hsbaseballweb since May of '03........he probably should get the benefit of the doubt.....especially since he hasn't posted any complaints in the past 3 years....sounds like he is concerned about what to do....based on backlash for his son.....I mean we can all say call the cops....but if in the long run your kid ends up suffering the consequences for poor adult behavior....that's not good either......just don't think there are easy solutions for this situation......
Garce -

I work for a school system in the department that handles these types of complaints and worse. it is our job to investigate them and when necessary ensure that proper actions are taken.

My advise to you is do not go to the AD, go directly to the Principal of this school with copies of the emails and other evidence you have. You can cc the AD but I wouldn't, this allows for coverups at times and takes longer to get to the facts

If no action is taken contact your HR department of your school system and tell them you would like to speak to the school systems employment investigator concerning a private matter. While not advertised almost all school districts have one. If they say there is not one speak to the director/superintendent of HR.

If nothing is taken care of at this point, email your school board or superintendent (which ever is more "powerful" for lack of a better word) and cc: the head of your states HS athletic department which sets the rules and governs the actions of all coaches and players within the state. By this time I am sure an investigation will be started but if not and you truelly believe it is extortion and your son is being punished have a lawyer contact the school system's lawyer.

Investigations do not start and end overnight, make sure you talk to your son prior to any of this action, explaining your plans because School systems are small communities and word will get out very quickly and chances are there may be some backlash from other players and parents, especially if this coach is well liked. prepare your son for what may happen and just tell him to ignore it and NOT talk about it.

Good luck and let us know what happens
Last edited by Justmom
Fungo....you are most often, most definitely, and most certainly one of the best "helpers" around here.....and if you were not around...we would have a problem.....the old part....well.....they do say wisdom comes with age.....despite my exception to the rule....

TPM...he posted that he was warned....Head Coach will support his staff.....regardless....and he also stated that if the Head Coach does back the Assistant.......then by complaining he will have ended his son's high school playing career....

If you have ever worked in a small southern town.....in the school department....well....you might come away thinking.....they do take care of one another.....and this guy has a real problem......but sure the same could be said for the north, east or west....just going on personal experience...... Frown
Thanks for everyone's input. I've decided to do nothing for the time being. Not giving any money to the assistant for his personal use, not complaining to any higher ups. Spent this evening cooking hamburgers at the game, raking the field and helping run the scoreboard. Was nice to everybody, including the assistant who has been pestering me for money. My son was taking care of business on the field - mashing the ball tonight. He doesn't know about the assistant's solicitations but was confused/ticked off about being moved to the bottom of the lineup. Went 2 for 2 up the middle. Maybe the baseball gods will take care of the situation.

Garse
garse
just some things i have thought of.did he really demand money or ask for you to help?did he any other parents for money?i think you said he was a freshman coach,i have seen some strange guys coach freshman ball around here.maybe filling a spot?maybe the head coach thinks he's a wierdo as well?
i think maybe your correct when you say the baseball gods will take care of this.they usually do. i hope things workout for your son.

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