Skip to main content

25 replies

How well do you really know your son

D Dibble1,000+ posts
How well do you really know your son

A recent magazine article polled both parents on what they thought their kids had done and then asked their teenagers the same question. The teenagers did 4 times as many things as their parents thought they did.

A poll a player took before a NCAA certified Summer Collegiate League Game of the players. A team where almost 1/2 the players moved on to pro baseball after college ball. Players were ages 18-21 years old and from many colleges ranging from Division 1, Div II, Div 3, NAIA, JUCO and Ivy league colleges, mostly from white, middle to upper class families.



ALCOHOL USE: dispite many of the players not being of legal age, drinking was rapid. More than 1/2 the players drank 2 to 3 times a week. Often to the point of Intoxication.Bringe drinking was frequent and encouranged. Atleast one player was a full scale alcoholic. Several other players experienced frequent black outs.
Beer was the usual drink of choice with vodka and Captain Morgan, the next choice.

TOBACCO USE: only one player had smoked cigarettes, but would be classified as a light smoker. About 1/3 the players used smokeless tobacco and DIP. Many of the them wish they never started and were trying to quit. A few had severe withdrawals and health problems trying to quit.

DRUG USE: about 1/4 of the team had admitted to trying marijuana. None said they regularly
used it. A few players had tried harder drugs Cocaine and estacy. The ones that did, said they it was stupid and dangerous and had know people who completely screw up their lives with drug use.

STERIOD USE: none had admitted to taking steriods, but about 1/3 said they knew people on them and were tempted to take themselves looking for edge, esp if they though it would help them get into pro baseball.

WHAT THEIR PARENTS KNEW:
most of the players said their parents were completely clueless about what their kids did or just looked the other way. ESP about alcohol use. Many parents would drink heavily in front of their kids and then were surprised that their kids drank too. Players mentioned most of the parents never talked to them about alcohol or drug use before they attended college or during High School. Their parents who dispute thier kids every drank or did drugs, despite many of the parents did the exact same thing or worse when they were the same age
Last edited {1}
Original Post

Replies sorted oldest to newest

S snoop10+ posts
No surprise here. I don't see how anything has changed in the 35 years since I went to college except I don't recall much about steroids, I believe recreational drug use was more prevelant then and more people drove under the influence back then. We did not have beer pong but we bounced quarters and played other drinking games. If anything we have made progress over the years. I certainly don't know the specifics of what my kids did while in school and my parents didn't know the specifics about me. By the way, I did not play intercollegiate athletics, I was an engineering student.
BM Bill McClain10+ posts
The other thing you have to realize is that kids will lie just to be cool so even if they haven't done certain things they will lie to be cool.
I would rather them lie about doing something they haven't done then lie about something they have done.
Have you looked at your kids BLOGS(www.myspace.com)I think you will be suprised or even shocked but talk to them about it.
I feel the articel you read can be misleading.
PS
By they way I know kids are not perfect and I am not in denial. But comunication is the key
S 3strikesMember
This applies at the high school level as well. Mentioning myspace, I have seen the teens laugh about alcohol, smoking, and drug use (some as young as 13). Knowing some of these kids and their parents, I couldn't believe it. (I thought they were just saying they did to be cool also.) Asked my kids and they said absolutely these kids are doing it and not all of them are just saying they do to be cool. (And then I got the look, "Where have you been? Get with the times!") I guess the biggest surprise to me was how many student athletes are doing it! Call me naive, but I thought with them being athletes, they wouldn't want to mess up their bodies like that, but that is not always the case. There is a reason they begin D.A.R.E. in elementary school. Frown
B Bear1,000+ posts
How well do we know .....Dibble?

Let's ask him.

1. Do you (or have you) USED ALCOHOL?
My guess for you is YES!

2. Do you (or have you) USED TOBACCO?
My guess for you is YES!

3. Do you (or have you) USED DRUGs
My guess for you is YES!

4. Do you (or have you) USED STERIODs:
My guess for you is YES!

5. Do your PARENTS KNOW:
My guess for you is NO!

As for me, my answers, to 1-4 is an astounding no. Did my parents know? Not a chance.

As for my children, 1-4 an astounding NO.
Do I know? Absolutely!

OBTW: "Almost half the players"
in some articles/polls those statistics would be 2 players of 25 playing collegaite summer ball move on to MiLB or MLB!

Regards
Bear

ps. D.A.R.E is rather ineffective within the thorny issues of school violence, budget cuts, and terrorism. However, Steroids abuse may yield better results if initiated at the elementary schools.
Last edited by Bear
ND Novice Dad100+ posts
Once Bear and TR get past the Dibble bashing this is a serious subject.

I recently read (no I don't recall where) that a survey showed that High School athletes were more likely to be binge drinkers. I'm not sure if it had to do with statisical measures (drawing from a smaller pool than the general population) or due to the type of personality/make up an athlete tends to be.
rz1rz15,000+ posts
First of all if anyone has ever done any polling they would know that you need to get a cross section of subjects to get any respectable results. This person was out to write an article and throw in results that cannot be taken seriously because the only thing it represents is the "feel" of that team.

As far as the parents.
quote:
A recent magazine article polled both parents on what they thought their kids had done and then asked their teenagers the same question. The teenagers did 4 times as many things as their parents thought they did.


You do not poll Mom and then Dad and then says the the teenagers did 4 times as many things as their parents thought they did. Moms are good, Moms are great, but, many times Mom does not know what Junior does on Saturday night. Dad was there at one time, and his Mom did not know everything that was going on.

I'm probably now going to hear it from the Moms out there. Frown

This poll is frustrating at bestis
Last edited by rz1
LadyNmomLadyNmom1,000+ posts
rz1....don't want to dissapoint you.....but I'm a Mom....I went to college....and I do have a clue what goes on Saturday nights....furthermore my husband was the engineering nerdy type in college.......I've voiced more concerns about son's Saturday nights than his Dad has.....I didn't spend Saturday nights studying at the University Smile.....my husband did..... Frown

You're right about the polling.....

You're dead wrong about Mom's being clueless!
Last edited by LadyNmom
rz1rz15,000+ posts
Azred,

quote:
You're dead wrong about Mom's being clueless!


I Never said that.

I knew that would not be a popular post and I don't consider myself a sexist nor would I ever look at Moms as being "under a rock" with these issues. I will however stick by my guns and say that NOT IN EVERY SITUATION, BUT FOR THE MOST PART, Dads have a better idea about Juniors extraciricular activities than MOM does. On the other hand Mom has a better grip on the realities of their daughters life than Dad does. I'm not talking family specific, I'm talking in general. If anything, Dads, for the most part, do not have a clue on what goes on in their daughters private lifes over what Mom knows.

If I am going to throw my opinion out on the table and get stoned, I might as well make sure both sides have rocks.

I should just shut up. worm
Last edited by rz1
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
I made a deal with myself a long time ago. I wouldn’t ask my kids everything they did if I didn’t have to tell them everything I did. I also was very clear about what things and activities I would NOT tolerate. I had an ultimate goal in the back of my mind when it came to raising my kids. This goal didn’t include a college education, a baseball scholarship, a professional baseball career, or an unwanted pregnancy. It was pretty basic. It was limited to being alive and drug free into their twenties. While my kids were still at home, our three closest neighbors lost their three teenage children to auto accidents. My oldest son was involved in an accident where the other driver lost her life. I have friends that have lost children to various things including murder and drugs. Sure I want the best for my kids, but I have also learned to just appreciate them.
gratefulgrateful1,000+ posts
People don't actually become alcoholics.....one is either an alcoholic or not.

When college students participate in binge drinking episodes.....whether they are alcoholics or not......it is considered to be "situational" drinking.

There are millions of people who consumed a heck of a lot of alcohol during their college years who did not become alcoholics and who rarely drink as more mature adults.

I am not condoning drinking or binge drinking episodes by college students, just stating what I have learned through education.
B BigWI1,000+ posts
I drank a hell of a lot, both in the service and college (drinking age back then was 18 and still should be!). There are 3 days in Subic City I do not remember (probably a good thing) Red Face

Now if I have 1 beer a month, that is a lot.

Drinking heavily when younger (not a good thing) does not mean that they are alcoholics or will automatically become one.
Last edited by BigWI
LadyNmomLadyNmom1,000+ posts
Grateful....thanks.....many of us can now breath easy! You are so correct....and an educated answer is always appreciated....

Fungo....you said it so well......Think the driving worries most of us.....more than anything....always told son.....don't drink......but if you do.....if peer pressure or curiosity gets in the way of good sense.....call us....we'll come get you.....no yelling, no screaming....we won't punish or reprimand......we'll even meet you down the street so your friends won't see us picking you up.....you can save face....just call....please.....we will get you....and get you home safe.....

Some of our friends thought this was the wrong approach.....

He never called for a ride.....think baseball had a lot to do with that.....he would comment from time to time how some of his teammates were drinking....and smoking.....and how it hurt their baseball.....

Whatever.....we are just thankful.....high school down! College.....four years to go...... noidea
O OnePlayer'sPop500+ posts
I(like more than just a few of you other parents)had my moments of poor decision-making while in college many years ago... my collegeiate athletic career only lasted 1 semester due to my poor choices.

My son(now 22 years old) did not face those decisions(college partying) and instead had to make correct decisions to further his career. So far, it has worked out pretty well.

I got a surprise call from my son the other day and he wanted MY opinion on whether he should be interviewed for an article in one of the world's most prominent "men's" magazine(they had contacted his agent).

My response was for him to make his OWN correct decision that would reflect how(and by whom) he wants to be percieved. He chose to pass on the interview, but is still waiting for the one he did with "Sports Illustrated for Kids" to come out in a future issue.

OPP

p.s. Son is fully aware of how cheap it is to take a taxi whenever he may be legally imbibing.
06catcherdad06catcherdad1,000+ posts
This thread is so timely, and one which I hope everyone reads eventually. No matter how well we think we know our kids, there are still surprises out there.

Today, I received an email that was like a hard punch in the stomach. This email informed me that a boy who plays for an 18u team that we compete against in the summer, and whom we've faced in many games, was shot and killed at a party this past weekend. Apparently, there were a number of teens outside the house and some bad guys tried to crash the party and an arguement ensued. The crashers left, but returned later with guns and began firing into the crowd, from out in the street. This one boy whom we've seen in summer ball was struck and killed by a bullet. From what I knew of him, he was a good kid, just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Reading about this boy's death reminded me of the last time we played his team. That day was August 14th, and without a doubt was the toughest day of the entire summer for many of the boys I coach. It was so tough because the day before three of the girls that some of them have gone all the way through school with were killed in a single car accident while driving home from a party. That was two days before they were to start their senior year of high school. They too, were good kids.

Please, everyone, remember that even very good kids make bad decisions from time to time. Those decisions can have dire consequences that none of us ever expect. As has been said elsewhere, if you can't drive home safely, call your parents, no matter how embarrased or scared you are to do so. If you can't call your parents, call the parents of your best friend or even your coach. I assure every kid out there that any adult you rely on in these situations will be grateful to have the opportunity to be there for you. That's what parents are for, more than you'll ever realize until you have kids of your own.

Add Reply

Post
.

Membership Required

We're sorry. You must be signed in to continue. Sign In or Register
×
Are you sure you want to remove from your Block List?
×
Loading...
×
When you block a person, they can no longer invite you to a private message or post to your profile wall. Replies and comments they make will be collapsed/hidden by default. Finally, you'll never receive email notifications about content they create or likes they designate for your content.
Note: if you proceed, you will no longer be following .
×
Advanced Search
Advanced Search
Link copied to your clipboard.
×