Open letter from a parent to all High School coaches:
Dear Coach,
I just wanted to say thank you. I know I don't say those words often enough and I apologize for that. I guess I'm so caught up in watching my kid play that I sometimes forget what an important role you play. You're a coach, a mom, a dad, a guidance counselor and a disciplinarian all rolled into one.
Frankly, I don't know how you do it. I think I read somewhere that the average stipend for a high school coach in Arizona is about $3,500. Given all the time you put in for meetings, practices, film study, games, scheduling, etc., etc., I figure you're lucky if you're making $1 an hour.
And that's after you work a full day as a teacher, coming in early in the morning and grading papers or tests late at night. I don't know if you're an angel or just plain crazy. Sometimes, I think you're a little bit of both.
Then there's the aggravation you deal with on a daily basis. Kids that don't show up for practice or don't pay attention when they are in uniform. Fans that get on your case if you don't beat your archrival. Administrators that will fire you if you're not winning. I'd like to think being a good teacher in the classroom and a mentor as a coach would be enough, but I guess that's not the case. It really is nuts.
So why do you do it? Sure, there's great satisfaction in winning a big game or capturing a state championship but that can't be all of it. Those moments don't come around very often. Most of the time, you're just trying to get by each week.
The only thing I can think of is that you truly want to make a difference in my child's life. I know that's a cliche but I can't think of any other reason you'd put up with all the crap you have to take. I don't mean to embarrass you by saying this but I'm going to anyway: It's a noble gesture, and I'm grateful.
So here's my promise to you as my kid gets ready to play next season: I'm going to support you in every way I possibly can.
I'm not going to scream at you during games if I don't like the way you're coaching. It's really stupid, come to think of it. You know the sport. I don't. Yet I act like the expert.
I'm not going to barge into your office and angrily ask why my kid isn't playing more. If I do have a question I'll ask it respectfully, taking into account that it's about the team and not one individual.
I'm not going to join other parents in criticizing you behind your back. I'm such a hypocrite when I do that, thanking you for the job you do and then ripping you for not doing it well. Shame on me.
And I won't blame you if my child doesn't receive a college scholarship. As long as you're doing your job honestly and doing what's best for my child's development, I'll support you. Notice I said my child's development, by the way. If you help my kid become a responsible adult, whatever the athlete accomplishes is icing on the cake.
I know what you're thinking. That it's easy for me to make these promises now, that when the games begin and my emotions get the best of me I'll revert back to my old ways.
I wish I could tell you without question that these aren't empty words but you're right. I really don't know whether I'll live up to this letter if the team is 2-6 and my kid isn't playing.
All I can tell you is that I'll try. You deserve my applause and appreciation, not my scorn and disrespect.
So again, thanks for everything you do. Oh, and considering how little money you make, how about if I stop by the coach's office every so often and buy you lunch?
Sincerely,
The parent of every high school athlete.