I need some advice about our coach...

Welcome Socalrhpdad! The best advice when dealing with things you can not control is to "Smile and enjoy the ride!"

Confronting or questioning how a coach (especially a Varsity coach) handles his team will only lead to frustration and potentially harm your sons role on the team.

Player talks to coach, Possibly assistant coach.
then parent talk to coach at least twice to give coach a chance to explain.
IF parent not happy, parent talk to AD then principle and so on.

As a coach i hope you talk to me first, as a parent i would want to know what the heck is going on. Poor coaching for not informing, i feel bad for you. best wishes.

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Any ideas? what should we as parents do.

I agree with floridafan. It would be best to smile and do nothing. You obviously have a talented son playing varsity as a sophomore. Your son needs to figure out the best way to handle the situation. If a situation escalates where parental involvment is needed then you step in. Those situations could be injuries, potential injuries or grades.

Welcome to the board.

Your problem is very common. Hang in there and talk to you son about the issue. My best advice is to tell your son to keep working hard regardless of the coaching situation. I know it is frustrating, I have been in a similar situation.

Lefty...

Thanks for the advice. With all of you out their I knew you would keep us on the right path.

Thanks

I have a piece of advice. Change your location from Chula Vista to San Diego or Southern California. If your son's coach happens to visit this board he may figure out who you are, pass judgement and take it out on your son. Right or wrong, the coach makes out the lineup.

You may just have a lazy coach. That would be too bad, but they are out there. I don't think they all start out that way, but some don't know how to coach their sports, and over the years they descend into the "how am I going to win with these bums? " syndrome.

They almost never say it exactly that way, but if they're not practicing when they should, and have lost the belief that they and their team can accomplish something meaningful each and every season, their players won't have that belief either, and its pretty difficult to have productive seaons.

Let's hope your observations are just isolated incidents. If they are not, you and other parents can reflect on whether there is anything you can do, and whether it is "worth it" to attempt it. I think that usually it is not.

This is a shame that this happens. The one thing to remember and or realize the highschool level is just one part of a players development and future. It's up to you as parents to guide him through his next several years with solid advice and strong support no matter what. Then focus on the summer and fall travel and showcase teams. These will give you the abaility to have your son noticed if he wants to make it to the next level. Do not burn bridges it's a small community and you never know......

Since he's a sophomore, I would stay quiet and lay low. Tell your son to talk to one of the Jrs/Srs he trusts that have been around to coach to understand things. Then I would say work out a lot on your own if the team isn't working out. If he's ready and performs, he's in good shape. If he takes the approach of only doing what the coach tells him to do, only practicing when the coach schedules one, my bet is things won't go well. He may be just trying to figure out who wants it bad and works vs who doesn't. Good luck.

I'm not understanding something. According to a post from a NorCal parent, practices in Ca start 2/7. I wasn't even aware practices were starting anywhere, let alone a game. Is this HS ball, or some type of travel ball?

I wouldn't be concerned about the lack of organized practice during the holidays. The coach is going to do what he wants to do and you have no say. I'd be concerned if my son felt he only had to practice when the team did Its an opportunity for serious players to get a leg up on the not as serious players and separate themselves.

Get another parent worked up enough to talk to the coach about it and let them report back to you. Win. Win.

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When asked when the uniforms and fundraising stuff (team logo clothing) would be in the coached replyed let me see you play baseball first,

kind of to the point?

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Originally posted by SultanofSwat:
Get another parent worked up enough to talk to the coach about it and let them report back to you. Win. Win.

I've seen this done. Every team has a parent who's on the edge and can be pushed.

Take the high road and keep your mouth shut and wallet open! Most likely no amount of complaining will change the way the coach operates. Tell your son to play his hardest in high school and just enjoy it for what it is. HS ball may not be perfect but it may be what you're stuck with.

My advice, get him on a great summer team, one that gives you no reason to complain, and enjoy this time. It goes all too fast.

There are some great high school coaches out there but if your son has one thats less than great you can nicely offer to help in any way he may need. If he shoots down any offers of help better just grin and bear it.

Looking back, my sons HS coach was alot like this. The best thing I did was keep my mouth shut and stay out of it. In the end he was very successful doing things "his way." Just because it wasn't the way I would have gone about it didn't make it wrong it the end.

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Originally posted by smalltownmom:
I'm not understanding something. According to a post from a NorCal parent, practices in Ca start 2/7. I wasn't even aware practices were starting anywhere, let alone a game. Is this HS ball, or some type of travel ball?

Most HS teams in SoCal start playing winterball as a club team...totally legal.

I hear buying private lessons fix everything.
As for H/S practice thats what fallball is for.
Also start reg season practice without grown ups use 12th graders and binoculars/cell phone if you have anuff kids pick teams have them play eachother even stick ball, 1/2 rubber.

FloridaFan nailed it.

But, we all know it's a hard pill to swallow. In the end, it will work itself out. If you get involved, the issue will no longer be about the coach, it will become about you. And, you don't want that for your son for the next three years.

Good rule of thumb: Whatever your initial reaction is; do the exact opposite.

GED10DaD

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the coached replyed let me see you play baseball first

Alot of coaches think only the players should talk to them about baseball stuff.
Alot have hang up's if they have had a losing season. It carries over to the next year.
Ask the other parents what they thinkAsk your son, only thing that matters is him.
This is about him, for him ,because of him.
Be a fan or be a Booster club member/leader.
Have other parents go with you to the coach to offer help with things like web page team fund raisers gate keeper drink stand ect, but make sure you let him know its only so he can have more time for the kids. Most Coaches are wantabe players ( or played ) and Coach becase they want to help kids. Let him know its about the "team" not just your son.
After you can't take it any more and if nothing is working go to the athletic director But don't go alone take as many parrnts as you can that think the same as you.
If you stir a pot of sh *t the smell will get on your son.

Unfortunately some coaches are more organized or better communicators than others. Our sons coach does a great job of communicating and is very organized. However more often than not HS coaches are typically good at these things.

I would agree that you should be careful about complaining too much nothing good will come from it.

I have to agree with most of the posters here.

Unfortunately you have either a disorganized or distracted coach.

The only advice I would give you is ask some of the junior/senior teammates of your son about the coach. Ask them if this is normal for this coach or is the coach normally better prepared. It could just be that there is a lot on his plate at this time of year and this may just be an aberration.

If the kids say, 'Nope, coach is usually pretty squared away' then chalk this up to a time of the year thing. If the boys say 'Yep, coach is always this way' then just prepare for it. Let you son know that he needs to keep his uniform clean and his bag ready at all times because a phone call may come out of nowhere.

Otherwise try to stay out of the coaching side too much. It is hard, I am dealing with the transition now and man it is hard not putting my .02 in (and mine is just a select team right now, HS hasn't even started out here yet) but I know that I have to dial it back or the only one hurt will be my son.