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You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well!

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swinging to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something "lifted", look again - was it lifted from you?

NOT A HOAX !! This is happening to women everywhere every night. WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boo *s. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.
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quote:
P.S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my boo *s. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.


As opposed to this lady who keeps them in the open so no one has to look too far for them, right?
quote:
Maybe we should start a support group.

LOL, I'll join!

I realized a couple of years ago that my body had definately changed when my daughter would come up and measure her height against certain landmarks. She excitedly announced she had gotten taller. I had to tell the child, "no, you haven't".... I just don't have a bra on. Roll Eyes I told her she'd understand in 30 years.
That explains where the 'Bleacher butt' came from. It wasn't the 'Concession Stand Diet Plan' after all! My sister tells me that it will go away, including the leather skin, when I complete the 12 steps lined out in the BMA(baseball moms anonymous) handbook.

Now tell me who would want to put themselves through that program.

NOT ME- I'm lovin' every minute of it.

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