It appears we are done with HS ball...

I understand how you feel.  Its hard to let go but on the other hand, if its not fun its time to stop.  All the best for what comes after baseball.

I am sorry to hear, but it sounds like your player still has plenty to keep him busy and continue having fun.

 

I went through a similar situation with my daughter. This is a strong athletic high school with multiple state titles in baseball and football. But for some reason every year many talented player would choose not to return to the varsity field hockey or softball programs (same coach).

 

It's heartbreaking to watch but not much you can do but be there for your player and support their decision.

Sorry to hear that RobT, I would wager come March he might be asking if you can take him to the cages, or a friend of a friend needs a pick up player.

 

Word is likely to get out that there is a talented player that might be available.  I'm guessing your journey isn't over yet.

 

Best of luck!

It sounds as if he's a happier boy now. And that's what we want for our kids. All the best to him. He'll be fine.

Don't mean to stir the pot, just offering honest feedback and perhaps a contrarian view.  I've read about the situation/dilemma your son faces but, as I am not in his or your shoes, cannot begin to fully understand (my son is blessed to play for a great HS program with 2 state finals trips, and one win, in his 2 years so far).  But, I would think very long and hard before making it official.  Unless your son is an "elite" level player (oh, I don't know, PG ranking of 250 or above in his class...or some equivalent measure), despite the myriad legit reasons that you can list on why, this may raise a red flag with college coaches.  I personally have heard top notch (I am talking big time SEC, ACC, Big10) HCs and RCs say just this.  Issues/questions/thoughts:

- is he running from a difficult situation/not wanting to take on a challenge or deal with adversity

- is he running from a chance to be a leader

- college coaches love to see kids compete in HS because HS is all about winning, whereas summer/travel has become more about the showcase/individual

- even if your situation is "different" - and it seems that in your case it is - it is just something to your son's "story" or "resume" that has to be explained and college coaches want to keep it simple; this is just another layer of diligence they'd have to do

- so, all things being equal, a school has a potential recruit that is equal in talent, size and projectability as your son, would the fact that your son chose not to play in HS help make that coach's decision easier (ie, go with the other player)?

 

I also know that not playing HS is more common and "understood" in certain parts of the country.

 

Please know that I am not making an assertions at all about your situation, and the fact that so many other kids have also left suggests he may well be doing the right thing.  But, just some things to think about.  How cool might it be to tell a college coach the opposite:  that despite turmoil, frustrations and several others bailing, your son stuck it out and [fill in the results].  Could be a great life lesson, too.

 

Either way, best of luck.

 

What are the program issues?

These are all fair points.  One of the major factors with my son though is that even going into this fall, he was pretty sure that he did not want to play baseball in college. He's realistic enough to know he's not really a pro prospect.  He played with pro prospects this summer, which really is a reality check.  He has a pretty narrow number of schools he is interested in, and unless those particular schools were to come knocking with a substantial scholarship - well, he would rather focus on academics. He's a really practical kid.  

 

 

Excellent feedback.  Priorities then!  Good for him and best of luck.

Let me see if I can come up with a way to keep it short without putting names out there...

 

I would say at the root it is a change in culture. Just as an example...

 

The previous coach always maintained a businesslike demeanor.  Issues with players were always handled man to man, not in front of the team.  He never once raised his voice to an umpire.  If he didn't agree with a call, he would walk to the umpire and address it.  This filtered down to the players.  You never heard a word from the dugout over calls.  Parents wouldn't dare yell at an umpire.

 

Now, in the last game I watched, the assistant coach was chipping at the umpire from the first at bat, soon to be followed by the players, then the parents.  Frankly, it was embarrassing.  So much so that I actually had to go for a nice long walk to keep from telling the parents just how ridiculous they were acting.

 

The coach that was brought in had a lot of playing experience, but no high school coaching experience.  The coaches he brought in as assistants were his friends he coached with at the local rec program. I think one of them played in college twenty years ago.  The HC is a nice guy, but he's turned most of the "coaching" over to guys who in all honesty know less about the game than the kids they are supposed to be teaching.

 

Everything just seems very "frat house" for lack of a better term. 

 

 

 

You know they say lots of kids don't continue in youth sports because of bad experiences with coaches.  There are  some real dogs coaching these kids -- especially in rec leagues.   But I think it isn't always appreciated how varied the quality of coaching at the HS level can be.   A number of programs in my area have been through just a flood of coaches in recent years. Some are quick to blame parents and entitled kids when a program takes a turn for the worse like that. And in complete honesty,  sometimes there's justice in such observation.  But man have there been some real dogs coaching various programs in this area at times.    You would think it wouldn't happen -- given the wealth of truly excellent baseball guys around here.   But I think HS coaching is sort of a thankless task and that  its hard to attract the good ones and hard  to keep them when you find them.  

 

Anyway, that's a long winded way of saying,  I feel your pain and your son's pain.

Please quit coming up with why it is someone else's fault. You said you son was now happy. Let him be happy and enjoy the last couple of years you have him at home.

Let's see...

 

Didn't say it was anyone's fault. I was asked what the problems were with the program, to which I gave a broad answer.  My son isn't enjoying playing for the team, and has other things he would rather be doing. I guess you could say that's his fault.

 

It's not an issue of playing time or hurt feelings because he got yelled at, or any of the other reasons out there. 

 

My opinions were kept to myself, my son formed his own. His decisions. He plays ball, I sign checks and cheer. If he doesn't want to play I have less checks to sign. I'll cheer him on in whatever other things he does.

 

My son was plenty happy before - just not with baseball. It was a part of - not his entire life. He'll continue to be happy.

Although I'm sure it's a sad day for you Rob, it's probably a good thing your son made the decision.  I think if a kid truly loves the game, he will work thru anything to continue to play, because his love for the game is greater than anything around him that might interfere with that.  If your son wasn't happy playing any more, there is no sense in continuing.  I think he made a decision that may be for the best in the long run.  And it sounds like he has a great deal of opportunity in front of him on the academic side.

 

My son has had some really bad coaches over the years.  He kept playing anyway.  It's what he truly loves to do and I just don't think any coach or player or team would derail him from his love of playing.  He's a senior in college this year and the game may end for him in the spring.  The time comes for everyone at some point.  If your son's heart wasn't in it, it's time to go.

 

Best of luck to him!!

Think it can be harder on parents then sons when they end career, wether by choice or not. Sounds like son doesn't have passion for playing baseball, and has other interests. HS issues may be a contributing factor but players who have true passion for game play through rough times, bad coach for ex. 

Sounds like he has a lot to keep him happy and will continue to have a fun time in HS. 

Good Luck to him

Rob,

It does sound a bit like you ate finding excuses to why he doesn't want to play. Don't blame anyone.

You told me a while ago he really wasn't enjoying it. And that he had told you he didn't want to play this summer but changed his mind.

Look while others tell you they feel badly for you, this isn't about you, its about your son and what makes him happy.

We have to learn to accept that sometimes baseball isn't for everyone.  If your son doesn't want to play college ball, that's not a bad thing.

He sounds like an intelligent young man that knows what he wants.

I congratulate him for being his own man.

I think that sometimes our kids don't want to disappoint us , so they do what makes us happy.  My sons agent told me once he felt that sometimes players feel that they owe something to their parents for all they have done to help them improve in the game and get them to the next level. They stay in it for the wrongbreasons. I wouldn't want that, you wouldn't want that for your son either.

Best of luck to your son, I think he will be very successful at whatever path he decides take!

I'm right there with TPM, Rob.

 

Folks asked, so you explained the HS culture. Fair enough. But as I read your posts, I conclude that it wouldn't have mattered whether the HS team was coached by superstars or knuckleheads: Your son is ready to move on to the next phase of his young life. 

 

Congratulations.

Sorry, I may have come across wrong.  I know you know the importance of time with your kids. Just seemed like you were worried/stressed over this. Don't be.