These are actual metaphors and analogies used in high school papers. Enjoy!
~ His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
~ She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
~ She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
~ Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
~ He was as tall as a 3 foot, 6 inch tree.
~ He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it, and now goes around the country speaking at
high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
~ The revelation that his 30 year marriage had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
~ The little boat drifted gently across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
~ McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
~ From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie,surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7 instead of 7:30. (N.B.: Jeopardy now comes on in San Francisco at 7 pm, and has for a good while)
~ Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
~ Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like 2 freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 pm, traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 pm, at a speed of 35 mph.
~ John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
~ He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
~ Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
~ Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
~ The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law, Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
~ The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
~ "Oh Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1 a beer night.
~ He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical duck, either, but a real duck that was really lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
~ The kinfe was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Shelia Jackson Lee(D-Tex) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the
impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
~ The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
~ It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
~ He was deeply in love with her. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
~ She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
~ His eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
~ She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
~ He's a real Monet! He looks good from far away, but close up, he's a
mess!
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