Just venting (this ever happen to someone else)

Coach made a mistake. We all do. In the grand scheme...5-6 years from now when you look back, it won't be important at all. There will be other and possibly bigger mistakes made by other coaches not to mention mistakes that will be made by you or your son in the future. Can't hang on to them.

I think you're going to have to let it go. More importantly, help your son to not dwell on it.

Saints9,

Where does your son go to school?

quote:

Originally posted by DLOCK15:
Saints9,

Where does your son go to school?

I would like to say that if you answer his question to do it in a PM. If you post it on here it might get out. You would be amazed how many people are actually on this site.

Finish fuming tonight and after a good night's sleep, look at the bright side in the morning. Your player was thought highly enough to be asked to play with the varsity squad. Maybe something happened "behind the scenes" in the two hours that prompted the reverse decision. (lack of hotel space? varsity catcher decided he could go after all?)

In that two hours, I would have gone to the bank, shopped at Walmart for snacks, done a load of laundry, tried to decide if we were going to travel as well that weekend to watch the tournament, and checked tripadvisor.com for the best hotel/rates in the area. Whoops! Plans changed. Not going. Cancel reservations. But hey...the laundry is done!

I agree that the communication should have been between the coach/player. Plans change...but the coach should have been the one to tell your son.

Gotta let it go. Your son will be playing for this coach one day.

After reading keewart's post it got me thinking - maybe he came to you thinking he could keep you from making travel plans since the plan changed for whatever reason.

Vent here. It's better than saying something to the coach that'll hurt your son.

We're happy to be here for you..

Coach2709, I know of more than one family that has gotten stuck with priceline hotel rooms that they couldn't use "because plans/schedules changed"!
(Or, should parents not travel to watch their HS kids play?!)

I agree... vent here, but don't say more at home or to the coach. You may regret something you said a year or two from now, when your son is playing for this coach. You will rarely regret what you did not say.

Julie

quote:

You will rarely regret what you did not say.

In a few short words...simply some of the best advice EVER given on the hsbaseballweb!

I guess you're the 'sheriff' for good reason around here!

I agree with justbaseball.

quote:

Originally posted by keewart:
Finish fuming tonight and after a good night's sleep, look at the bright side in the morning. Your player was thought highly enough to be asked to play with the varsity squad. Maybe something happened "behind the scenes" in the two hours that prompted the reverse decision. (lack of hotel space? varsity catcher decided he could go after all?)

In that two hours, I would have gone to the bank, shopped at Walmart for snacks, done a load of laundry, tried to decide if we were going to travel as well that weekend to watch the tournament, and checked tripadvisor.com for the best hotel/rates in the area. Whoops! Plans changed. Not going. Cancel reservations. But hey...the laundry is done!

I agree that the communication should have been between the coach/player. Plans change...but the coach should have been the one to tell your son.

Gotta let it go. Your son will be playing for this coach one day.

Good advice.

Saints9 - join the club. The coach obviously mishandled things but I agree with justbb, everyone makes mistakes. There are going to be tons of snubs and mini-snubs as your son continues to advance in the game. Use each one as fuel for the fire but remain positive and driven. As keewart said, it was an honor to even be asked in the first place.

Speaking of snubs, there was a pitcher in minor league baseball two years ago that led all of minor league baseball in wins and couldn't garner a promotion that year when many of lessor talent were being promoted all around him. I am pretty sure that player used the experience to drive great future success and ultimately promotion the following year.

No matter the level of baseball, a player has to learn how to deal with disappointment and setbacks in a positive manner. I like the idea of putting a smile on your face, putting another big chip on your shoulder, and taking the frustrations out on the competition. Use positive action - not words, to send a message that the wrong player was left behind here.

Let it go. It's not the end of the world or something.

Same thing happened to my son as a frosh. Not a big deal.

IMO the bottom line in your story is that the coach thinks enough of your son to consider him playing with the varsity. That's more than half full for me, forget the half empty part.

Thanks for all the excellent advice. At least I knew what I was doing when I posted here!

I've heard of kids making these trips and then sitting on the bench the entire weekend.

quote:

Originally posted by ClevelandDad:
...putting another big chip on your shoulder

It's so funny you said that.

My son was very excited after he got a call telling him he made the LL all star team. The next day, he was crushed when he was told he was ineligible because he was 8, and 'it's a 9 year old team'.

"It's not fair!"

I explained that rules were for everyone and they can't be broken just for you. Be glad that they wanted you. They think you're good enough, just not old enough. It blew over quickly. In a day or so, he was back to being a happy kid. But he never forgot it.

A few years later, son was told to 'be at practice tomorrow' for the LLWS team. Same coaches.

"Sorry, I can't. Remember? I'm only eleven. I'm playing with those guys." And he did.

I would begin a protest march outside the ball field

.
I would suggest that you get used to it...it never ends...

One of mine was sent home on 10 minutes notice in the middle of a long important DI college trip because he was the "most responsibly and team oriented player" the team had ....

..and the coach needed him to chaperone a less responsible player back to school.


.

quote:

Originally posted by fillsfan:
IMO the bottom line in your story is that the coach thinks enough of your son to consider him playing with the varsity. That's more than half full for me, forget the half empty part.

Hi, everyone! Long time lurker, first time poster here. My boys are 13 and 10, both baseball phenoms (in my eyes and their father's eyes, anyway ). My 13yo will be a freshman next year; my 10yo is a 4th grader.

The collective wisdom on this site is so incredible, and, in my case, an answer to prayer: Coach isn't being "fair," should I speak up? What should I do? I know, I'll go to the hsbaseball web forum. And, here it is.... the answer. Keep my mouth shut and get over it. Help my son to use the experience to fight even harder. Smile, and stack up chips .

I'm upset over a little "daddy ball" that's going on with my younger son (this, after the coaches went out of their way to tell us how they don't play daddy ball). Your posts are helping me calm down and affirm that my instinct to keep my mouth shut is the right one to follow. After all, if the daddy ball continues, this fall we can always check back with the other three teams that wanted him. Am I right?

I know a good baseball mom keeps her opinion to herself. I've been disgusted over the years with the mouths of some parents, especially the ones who never lift a finger to help, but sure do open their mouths to complain. So, I've always made it a point to stay out of the coach's business.

Side note - it seems that karma bites these daddy ball coaches in the b___ eventually. My oldest son played for a coach for several years whose son was ALWAYS the ss; my son was utility. I always thought 13 would be a better ss, but wouldn't dream of saying that out loud; besides, 13 was learning to play every other position which could only help in the long run, right? Well, this year, that coach's son is playing on the same tourney team as my 13, and that coach is not coaching for the first time. Guess who's playing ss and who is not? Yep.

fast - welcome to the hsbbweb!

Most parents exerience those very same issues imho. They used to tick me off as well. Indeed keep it to yourself and never share these feelings with your son. Your job is to encourage him to keep playing/having fun and that someday his perseverence will pay off. Keep nurturing his love of the game and he will pass those up who may now have "political" advantages over him.

I believe there is a cosmic justice to the universe. Baseball is a sport that what you see today is not necessarily or even likely what you'll see tomorrow. Often times it takes years down the road for the wheat to separate from the chaffe.

They key is to encourage your son to focus only on those two things he can control - attitude and effort. The other stuff he and you will just have to learn to let it go. In the mean time, you are always welcome to come here and "vent."

Stack up chips indeed

As a high school freshman my son went through a similar situation. He was playing on the freshman team and the varsity coach kept threatening to bring him up to varsity to pitch in the rotation. This went on for about 3 weeks before he was given the assignment.

The only hassle was he never knew where he was playing during that time. I just kept it positive for him and told him to play wherever the coach wanted to have him play, his time would come.

Nothing real positive will come out of it by talking to the coach. He is the one making decisions.

A lot of great advice here; and not a lot to add. I have observed, though, that the longer you stay in the game, the more "stuff" you have to go through to stay in the game. All you can do is control what you can control,; persevere and compete.

the higher the level the more it happens ... don't believe what you hear, believe what you see.

quote:

Originally posted by keewart:

(Or, should parents not travel to watch their HS kids play?!)

Good point!

Way too many parents reveal it's about my kid first and the team second. It takes a quality brand of character to support the team as a whole rather than me and mine. It the exception rather than the rule in today's culture.

I agree with biggerpapi. Vent here so you don't ruin your kids opportunity to play later. I had that happen a couple of times to me when I was a freshman and sophomore in High School. I let it go, so did my parents of course, and it paid off my junior and senior years. I had many opportunities those two years and had a blast at the same time. Sometimes it;s best not to say anything at all, just show that you can perform when you get your chance. After all, he's only a freshman. The entire High School experience is just developmental ball anyway. Most likely he will red shirt his first year of college like everyone else.

quote:

Originally posted by Saints9:
Frosh son (catcher) got asked to travel with the varsity to weekend tourney. Coach talks to son calls me to see if ok (leave town for 3 days tomorrow). 2 hours later changes his mind calls me back to tell me. School gets out in 15 minutes he's already at varsity practice and I have to tell my son he's not going! Coach apologizes to me at frosh game I just nod head, one word responses. I'm still mad (not about not getting to dress varsity) but opening your mouth before you are sure and then not telling my son yourself. Would most out there let it go or what?

Next time wait 24 hours before posting. You will be amazed how much less it matters. Don't editorialize to your son. He'll enjoy the game more. Parents overanalyze stuff while the kids tend to roll with it.

As I was posting in the "my son's coach is great" thread I was laughing while thinking back to a lashing I gave the coach on this site my son's soph year.

Here's one I heard occurred in our conference. A parent went nuts on a coach for cutting their kid from the program. The coach let him return for the last two days of the tryout and cut him again. I'll bet the kid has no prayer of ever playing at that high school.

Saints 9,
Our son played with varsity, freshman and jv teams his freshman year. Some days we didn't know where he would be playing until time to leave school. Because he was too young to drive to school, I always picked him up with all 3 uniforms in the car. Made for some confusing days but he got to play in lots more games than his fellow freshmen. Like so many have said, look on the bright side.

The coach should have manned up and told your son himself. He could have said'Hey, I 'm not going to be taking you afterall-it's not you. Maybe you can go another time. Thanks for being available, have a good weekend.

Leaving it to the dad to do is what was wrong, not that he changed his mind really. That's like a techer calling a parent and having them talk to student. It would have been showing an adult giving respect to a teenager that's all. It works both ways.