If you are 35, or older, you might think this is
hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious
diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up;
what with walking twenty-five miles to school every
morning....
Uphill...
Barefoot...
BOTH
ways… yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way
in hell I was going to lay a bunch of **** like that on my
kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got
it!
But now, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a **** Utopia!
And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good
you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we
wanted to know something, we had to go to the **** library and
look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter -
with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the
mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps
were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a
matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission
to kick our ***! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal
music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it
yourself!
Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the
DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car..
We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished,
and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause,
hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy **** like Call Waiting! If you were on the
phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house,
you just didn't make a **** call or receive one. You actually had
to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOsh !!! Think
of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And
then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You
kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you
had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your
parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection
agent... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and
take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with
high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You
actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting
harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just
like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was
on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You
had to get off your *** and walk over to the TV to change the
channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world
coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on
Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to
wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!
And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something
up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long.
Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom t hr ew you in the back seat and
you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm"
across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly,
and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for
calling "shot gun" in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have
got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't
have lasted five minutes back in 1980
or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd
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