Later Offers

He's a 2008, right?

if I'm reading ya right - son should prolly call the PAC-10 guy & explain how his verbal is really non-binding and he would like to also consider other offers ... ie, that the early verbal was a mistake

that will give that coach the opportunity to use your son's intended 33% to maybe land a better player whose commitment he can count on


jmo

He is very happy... Doesn't that say it all?

It is nobody's business what conversations you've had or your son has had with any college coach. Your reply to inquiries about where he's committed should be "Nothing is firm until I see it in writing..yeah, there's been some interest. Isn't it exciting? I'm so proud of my son". Frankly, I doubt anybody is going to corner you and demand to know where your son has "committed" at the camp.

quote:

by NC: Your reply to inquiries about where he's committed should be "Nothing is firm until I see it in writing..

wow


like I said, if your verbal acceptance of the PAC-10 offer was not sincere you should let that coach know

word travels fast, & WHEN it gets back to him that you are negotiating w/others using his offer as a bargaining chip ..
well ... don't be surprised if something disappointing happens



many even lurk here

If he's very happy with his verbal commitment then why wouldnt you let others know. Once you tell one program you have verbally committed they will all know.

If you are looking to see if a better offer comes around then you should not have verbally committed.

You can't have it both ways. Security knowing you are "in" the program you want to be and not have to worry anymore about where you will be playing and waiting to see if something better comes along so you can jump to another school with a better offer.

If you are having regrets withdraw your verbal and hope another school comes along and hope you havent blown a "very happy" situation.

YH,
There are a lot of very interesting issues in what you have posted.
My sense is there are going to be many different responses and, perhaps, no one right answer.

There can be many ways to "rationalize" ways around this. For me, the one I thing I would not want to occur, if it were my son, would be for him to realize he does not need to honor his promises or that "money" is a reason to compromise on your values/commitments. In my book of values, I think a teenager can learn an awful lot if their parents help them realize that, even though we paid a lot of money for a high profile summer camp, you have given your word and commitment and that is more important than money.
From what you have posted, it isn't clear whether you, or your son, is the one having some "misgivings" about the commitment. If it is your son, then I agree with Bee and njbb, he should tell the Pac 10 coach and start the recruiting process again.
If it is you, I would wonder about the values of the guidance that the chances of a "better" offer are more important than his verbal promise. There is little doubt that the trend of getting early verbal commitments is disturbing. However, your son gave such a commitment. I assume he did it after a good deal of family discussion. Personally, I think the moral aspect of the process is awfully important.

I'm not in a position to question the poster's sincerity..that's up to him and his son to decide. I was merely helping him with the etiquette of responding to queries about a subject I believe to be personal (i.e. what school has a made an offer and the nature of the offer). Whether to begin telling people, coaches and other colleges of this great opportunity to play Pac10 baseball or not is up to the family. It's a once in a lifetime chance..the poster seems to feel that this kind of chance might come around more than once. Best of luck to them.

We see this thinking all too often nowadays---what I term the "grass is greener" syndrome

Players on travel teams play the same game--they are with you until they get what they think is a better deal--

I have always taught my own boys as well as the players on our team not to make a committment unless they are totally 100% comfortable with your decision---you don't want to look back and wonder what if---it is tough enough making it work even when you are 100% sure in your decision. For me it is more ethics than money--if you don't have integrity what do you have?


One other thing---even if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence you still have to mow it !!!!

quote:

It is a moral dillema, for sure, but I'm thinking I paid for this opportunity for my son --before the commitment-- and he should receive the full benefit of the product for which I paid. Am I right?

You said it.
Why would you commit knowing you had signed up for a camp ?
It is unfair to not inform the coaches who attend this event that you have committed. My son attended one after he gave his commitment and informed every one he was committed.

quote:

To be clear, there are no plans to break the commitment. But frankly, commitments are expected earlier and earlier and I guess I'm thinking that there might be an unbelievable offer that we didn't expect.

If there are no plans to break the commitment, then there is nothing to worry about. The problem is, as was stated earlier in your post, if a better offer came along you would consider breaking the commitment. If you don't like committing early because you think a better offer might come along, again there is nothing to worry about. Call the Pac-10 school and tell them you would rather wait to see if you can get a better offer. Problem with that is you like the offer in the bag and know full well they'll go after someone else if you tell them that. This is the classic you want your cake and you want to eat it too. There are no moral dilemmas if you man up and do the right thing either way. The only dilemma is if you keep sandbagging for the best offer

quote:

by YH: It is a moral dillema, for sure, but I'm thinking I paid for this opportunity for my son --before the commitment-- and he should receive the full benefit of the product for which I paid.

umm, college camps charge a fee for skills instruction, which in turn benefit the player ...

where's the dilema? he doesn't need instruction anymore?

quote:

Originally posted by YellowHammer:

Before making this commitment, my wife and I paid for our son to attend a high-profile college camp. Should we be silent about this commitment at the camp so as to keep our options open? It is a moral dillema, for sure, but I'm thinking I paid for this opportunity for my son --before the commitment-- and he should receive the full benefit of the product for which I paid. Am I right?

To be clear, there are no plans to break the commitment. But frankly, commitments are expected earlier and earlier and I guess I'm thinking that there might be an unbelievable offer that we didn't expect.

Advise?

You can still attend the camp, as Bee> suggests, attending camp is usually for instruction. That's what you are paying for, IMO.

Did your son chose because he liked the program, school, coaches or because he was afraid nothing else would come along? How much larger do you think another offer may be?

The only reason for the verbal commitment (early or not) is to stop the recruitment process. If you didn't want it to stop, your son should not have given his word he would attend.

There are some unwritten rules fopr players in the recruiting process. The most important one is not to give a committment until you are sure it is the right one.

Thank you, everyone, for setting me straight. You all are right. I haven't communicated any of this to my son or anyone.. just dumb thoughts going through my head.. so thanks to you kind folks I will shut up and have him honor his commitment.

My son is very loyal and he is happy with the coaches and program and the opportunity to pitch at the Pac-10 level. All these thoughts were coming from me, not him, and I was wrong. Thanks for correcting me now before I made a big mistake.

Nice post

quote:

Originally posted by YellowHammer:
All these thoughts were coming from me, not him, and I was wrong. Thanks for correcting me now before I made a big mistake.

YH - I would imagine most parents go through the same thought process. You just want what's best for your son.

It's like I tell my wife...she can hang around until something better comes along...

Good decision, Yellowhammer!

YellowHammer,

Nice to read your follow-up post.

From a parental perspective (teaching our kids how to conduct themselves in life), here's one way to look at this type of dilemma: Just ask yourself how it would look to you if the coach had a change of heart. Coach: "Hmmm...I gave a verbal commitment for a 33% scholarship to Jimmy, but what if I find out I could have had Johnny, who is slightly better in one aspect of his game, and for only 25%? Would it be okay if I negotiate with Johnny, then if negotiations go well, call Jimmy to retract the 33% verbal commitment?"

This is not at all meant as a slam to you, YellowHammer! You asked a question that I'm sure has crossed the mind of many parents, and you obviously thought it through and came to a fair conclusion. I'm just adding the comment above as food for thought for other parents who might come across this in the future.

Julie