Letter of Recommendation for Player

I think since you are his assistant, you should inform the head coach so he is not blind sided.

I can understand the player not asking the head coach if they don't get a long. Heck not everyone this site get get a long.

But I think you owe it to your boss to keep him informed. Let the player know you're going to do it.

BigWI - Thanks!! I pretty much figured I would have to tell him - prior to seeing your post, I spoke with the player this evening about just that - I just have to figure out the best way to tell him - will be a bit awkward, I think

You could start by telling him that you understand that he may not like the player but it is part of his job to help all of the players and not just the ones that he likes. If he feels the player is good enough to play in college he needs to help the player. Have the coach and player ever spoken with each other (like men) about their problems?

This could be hard, depending on your relationship with the coach. Just tell him that the player felt uncomfortable approaching him.

Have you thought what do you do if the coach says you cannot write the letter? Or isn't he like that?

BTW my son played in a tournament in central PA in September, you anywhere near there?

Just a thought - why not have a meeting with the three of you - air it out - it would seem to me that it would be better to have a letter signed by all coaches. It also may mend some fences along the way.

windmill - a fresh view -

helping one on your players with a letter (or otherwise) is common courtesy and could easiy be considered within your job responsibilites - nothing to make a big fuss about

if there is tension between the player & coach, and if you, his assistant, feel that giving your boss a heads up would be akward - dont' even do it - just list your name & contact number as asst. coach and leave it at that

a head coach that neither players nor staff can approach has problems you can't fix -

Since the player and coach do not see eye to eye and the youngman is uncomfortable seeking a recommendation from the head coach why not ask the coach, a general question without referring to the player by name, exactly what is his position on you writing letters for the boys if they ask...that way the boys name is not mentioned...you have your answer...and coach is none the wiser...there is always the possibility, that since the boy came to you vs the head coach, that the coach could harbor animosity towards the boy and thus affect him adversley in his amount of playing time...would not be the first time that has occured

I see it a little differently. I'm not trying to be harsh but you have to realize something. You are the ASSISTANT coach. You were hired to ASSIST the head coach. This is your JOB. You work together for a common goal. Many times the coaching staff is a good guy/ bad guy team that work well together. Getting along "real well" with the players is not a prerequisite to being a good head coach. No real problem here. Go to your head coach and ask him how to handle the situation.
Fungo

windmill,

I feel it is not a good idea to keep information from the head coach. If you feel strongly about this player and his abilities, then you should tell the skipper so; and then ask him if he has a problem with you writing the recommendation letter. It is important to remain up-front about what is going on with the team and players. Be prepared, if the head coach tells you that he does not want you to write the letter, to "state your case", especially if you feel the head coach is incorrect in his assessment of this particular players abilities.

One of the most important things that a coach at any level can do is to keep his personal feelings out of the equation. This is not an easy task, (we are all human), but I feel it is very very important.

Best of luck to you, and let us all know how you made out.

WOW!! All good stuff. As implied by one of the posts, it is sort of a "good cop, bad cop" situation - this is one of the reasons most of the kids like me - it's easy to play the good guy, when the head and #1 asst are taking care of the discipline. The problems between the player and coach are fairly general/simple - the coach doesn't think much of the player, and none of the players respect the coach.
As far as the coach's responsibility to help kids wrt college and college coaches, this guy isn't exactly on top of things. e.g.: we have a VERY strong MIF that has generated much interest from a multitude of programs from D3 on up to D1...the boy and his family handle 99% of it - the coach isn't even aware of the college visits/showcases the boy is making/has made. He told me a couple weeks ago that he was contacted by a coach about the kid; I asked him who it was, and he couldn't remember!! [and it's not like coaches are beating down the door of our school to look at players!! There are no other seniors of interest] I had to bug him a week later, until he found the caller ID on his cell phone, and called the guy back...3 weeks later he still hasn't informed the player and his parents about the interest. Bottom line: he isn't real tuned in to the recruiting scene. I read a letter he wrote for one of our other players 2 years ago; not exactly inspiring.

I think I'll just tell him, matter-of-fact that I wrote the letter for the kid [after I write it of course - easier to get forgiveness than permission!! ] I think he'll understand that I get along better with the player, and that my comunications skills are slightly more polished than his...the worst he can do is fire me!!

PS - BigWI - we are SE PA, Philly area

windmill: Go for it - Don't let ignorance, indifference or ego stop you from helping any kid you believe in.

Given your description of the situation, Windmill, I agree with your plan.

If your not into coaching for the kids, particularly at the HS level, then you need to step aside .... but that's another show.

Windmill
When I see a pothole in the road, I just try to drive around it without hitting oncoming traffic.

Drive around the pothole.

Windmill

Sounds like a plan, Best of luck.

On behalf of the PLayer -- Thank you for caring

Given the situation I feel your obligated to write the letter but you should keep the head coach informed of what your intentions are.At one point or another any coach receiving your letter is going to wonder why the letter is comming fron the assistant and not the head coach. Discuss it with the coach and explain to him that you would like to put together a letter of rec.with his help and approval.Chances are if he is really bitter with this kid he will tell you he has no interest in doing so but if you want it, do it yourself.Problem partically solved.Let us know what happens.Good Luck and thanks for taking an interest in the kids wellfare.

You definitely should tell the head coach! He is the head of the program and deserves to know what is happening.
I also advocate having a meeting - you need to be able to tell the truth in your letter, otherwise recruiters won't trust your judgment the next time you have a player good enough to move on to the next level.
The head coach must always know what is going on, regardless of how easy or hard it is to tell him.

They do not get along. What is this a soap opera? Life is too short for nickel dime stuff to get in the way. i once had a player who said I did not like him.he was a handful but we co existed. Life is not about people liking you. 2 sides to every conflict. Cut the **** sit down and get the ball rolling. Head coach writes the letter.

quote:

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Originally posted by Will:
Cut the **** sit down and get the ball rolling. Head coach writes the letter.

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The letter of recommendation should come from whomever the player wants it to come from! He asked the assistant coach to write a letter not the head coach, and that is his prerogative.

If I didn't get along with someone, for what ever reason, I sure as heck wouldn't want them writing a letter on my behalf.

I agree that the head guy needs to be in the loop, I know for a fact that he wouldn't do a good job, so it's on me to take care of this kid, especially since he asked ME to do it...so I think I'm just going to do what the kid asked, and let him know that I did it...I'll just let him know that I did it after the fact...let the chips fall where they may. The problem is, there is no real conflict--neither one respects the other and that's that; I strongly suspect that the situation wouldn't change either way, with a "sit-down". So we'll see what happens..I'll keep you all posted

Windmill-
I don't advocate HIM necessarily writing the letter....I just think he has to be "in the loop". Understand, any good coach that gets a letter from you WILL contact the head coach eventually, so it is in the kid's best interest to clear the air before that happens.

Windmill,as an assistant,the head coach will determine a lot about your loyalty according to how you handle this situation. Being forthright with the head coach will speak volumes for you. The player has asked you for a favor. Nothing wrong with that. It should not be an ego problem for the head coach for you to write that letter after you let him in on the request. However, you must also keep in mind that there might be more to the strained relationship than what you know. Get all of the particulars before you move ahead. Typically, things such as violations of training rules or school code or discipline problems handled by the administration are not generally open to everyone on a coaching staff. In our program, I handle all of the problems from all levels with regards to discipline of players, dealing with parents etc. I don't want my staff to have to do that. I want them to coach the game. I am the law and take all of the heat. I never share that with them. I want to share the positives with them. JUST a THOUGHT!