Life Lessons

A problem my son faced that started when he was around 14 came from his best friends at the time was the thinning of the herd as far as baseball talent was concerned. He was being asked to play for the high profile showcase teams, being taken to the side to talk with high school coaches both private and public, and the little bit of publicity that comes with baseball at that age all the while his teammates and friends were not receiving the same attention.

The backbiting and remarks being said about him hurt him tremendously and it almost pushed him to give up the game but he was able to get past it and learned a lot from it about how some people perceive and accept other peoples success.

I just got done reading coach2709's great post about one of his high school players earning his coach's respect.

This idea surely needs some refinement but the first thing I thought about here was youth baseball and how there are so many different types of kids, from their background to their talent level to their desire, etc.

In our ESPN society, and for those people whose children might have a higher than average baseball ability, I think we sometimes expect too much from our youth players. Well, maybe we don't expect too much, but we might be too quick to write off the player who just can't hit, or just can catch a fly ball.

(note: you can probably replace the word "we" above with "I")!!

There is so much more important in youth baseball than to win the championship or even win every regular season game for that matter.

How about the baby steps that some players make during your season? Remember the first time Johnny was able to catch a fly ball? That surely made up for all the times he held his glove up and the ball flew over his head.

Remember the player who was 0-50 on the season and got his first hit in the last game? I can still remember the look on Brody W's face 6 years ago as he stood on first base. You would have thought he had won the World Series with that hit. And I took a picture from this fall's state championship run of Jake G's one and only hit of the season. The picture was snapped at the instant he made contact. EYES COMPLETELY SHUT!!! Line drive over the first baseman's head for two important RBI's in our semi-final game.

There's even the plays that don't go so well. 7 years ago, Jonah C. somehow found himself on third base with one out in the bottom of the seventh of a one-run game. Now Jonah in a million years, couldn't understand the term "tag up." So Coach Duane told him, "do not leave this base until I tell you to."

Coach's son hit a relatively deep fly ball to left. Can of corn. Easy Sac Fly to tie the game.

Ever seen the horses at Churchill Downs leave the gate as the bell rings? Oh yeah. Jonah was gone with the crack of the bat and was in the dugout celebrating as the left fielder tossed the ball to third to double him off to end the game.

I want to cry for Jonah as I type this because I'm sure to this day, he doesn't understand why we didn't win that game. I tear up for Jake and Brody because I'm sure there weren't too many basehits after those big ones.

But who cares? They were awesome little boys and even though it took 18 games for them to succeed or even fail...they played hard, they tried their best and they did something memorable.

As my boys get older and more advanced, I sometimes long for the more innocent days of Little League. I love baseball. And I love watching those little boys learn the game.

.
There is no better labratory for learing life skills clearly and early than sports. Here are a few that immediatley coem to mind:

- Core Values (Just exactly what is that that you stand for?)

- Execution under pressure/expectations

- How to handle being both a role model and a target

- Patience

- Faith (can you compete/stick to your core values even when all appears lost, and it would be easy to cpmpromise or slack)

- Dealing with Coaches/bosses

- Teamwork (relationships, roles, doing the team things, not just the star things)

- Discpline

- Time management

- Representing your school/team/family/business/community/family

- Gratitude

- Self responsibility (it's not the umps, the coaches...ect..)

- How to handle failure/disappointment

- How to handle success

- Humility

- Importance of preparation

- Goal setting

- Adaption

- The long term process of Skill develpment (yourself and others)

- Love

- Comittment

- The importance of contacts

- Communication

- Focus

- Delayed gratification

- Prioritizing

- Culture (how to recognize it, how to built it, and the value of it)

And I always go back to this poem:

If
by Rudyard Kipling


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

44
.

.



.

44 -
that poem really hits home... "wornout tools" is what I call most of my buddies
jk.. great list, great poem

I carried Kipling's 'If' around in my wallet all thru high school.... i love that poem

Wow great poem. It has been forwarded to both of my boys, thanks!

Life lessons ..... there are so many. Great question and terrific posts thus far.

As I reflect to date; We (my son and I) discussed so many traits and virtues necessary to succeed but it seems we most often came back to the following;

"There is no substitute for preparation." I.E., you have to do the work, there are no shortcuts to success or happiness that doesn't include effort. No one has been a success in their profession or life, merely by luck. When he was young and we were going out to hit, throw on train during the off season I would tell him, "somewhere, someone is working to get better, aren't you glad you are?" You will likely be competing against that guy someday.

A couple years ago I ran into a friend from my youth baseball days. We were on the same team from PONY league through HS, although he finished HS a couple years after I did. He was a little guy. He still remembered that he had hit .121 at 13yo his first year in organized ball playing PONY league that year. He got his nose broken when they let him play his dream position of shortstop during the last regular season game that year. The next season he replaced me as the starting shorstop. I'd like to think it was because our coach insisted that our other pitcher and I catch each other, but that probably wouldn't have happened if he couldn't have handled the position.

By the time he finished HS he was one of the best players in the region. He was drafted out of a JC and got a brief stint in the minors but was released. He went back to Benny Lefebvre (Jim's dad)for hitting lessons and caught on with the Astro's organization and made it to AAA ball and spring training with the Astro's.

When I ran into him he was over 50yo, playing in an adult league and hanging in there with the kids just out of college.

Love of the game.

CADad I love that story. I love hearing stories like that.

Couple of things my 8yr boy learned in flag football this year. It's ok to cry when you are saddened by a loss when you played your heart out, but it is not ok to pout or mope. And, there will be kids who are more talented, but you can always work harder than they do.

My son and I talk often about his ability to have a positive influance on his buddies on the team, on the team as a whole and his college. Doing the right thing, figuring out how to be the hardest worker in the classroom and the weight room, keeping his priorities right so that he's rested and ready to play when it's time and fully prepared for his finals next week. He understands he is a role model by just doing the right things.

Thanks to all for the great posts. Plenty to think and write about here!