Maybe we're nuts?

I wouldn't expect to talk to the coach until late in the process. I would expect my son to have the initial conversation(s). I see it as part of the process of growing up. I guess I don't see the harm in him talking to the coach without a parent present.

That being said, my son noticed that at a recent showcase he attended, he was one of the few players who spoke to coaches without a parent present. So maybe you are in the majority and I am in the minority.

quote:

Originally posted by twotex:
I wouldn't expect to talk to the coach until late in the process. I would expect my son to have the initial conversation(s). I see it as part of the process of growing up. I guess I don't see the harm in him talking to the coach without a parent present.

That being said, my son noticed that at a recent showcase he attended, he was one of the few players who spoke to coaches without a parent present. So maybe you are in the majority and I am in the minority.

As far as showcases/camps go, we are right there with you, but not with our kid. Our son (also in the minority) always shakes hands, thanks the coach, speaks for a few minutes if he can. We are NEVER part of that but we see a lot of parents who are.

We obviously aren't to the stage of a visit yet, so this is good information for us to gather.

We have never talked to the coaches of the school that recruited our son except for the time they made him the offer and the time they gave us a campus tour. Coach called son to come out and see him play in the summer. I saw the coach there, but did not approach him. Coach calls son all the time to see how things are going and what he is up to, never calls us.

They met with us for about an hour and a half when they presented son with offer. We went on a campus tour with recruiting guy after the offer was made and then met with head coach afterwards. That is the extent of our conversations with coaches.

That being said, if I were this kids parents, and my son was going to the school to visit the coach, I would want to be there and see the campus. I don't think parents should be involved with the coaches, but I think the parents should see the school and help their player with the decision. Maybe they are not going now, but plan on visiting later.

This is great insight - thanks very much!!!!

Compared to others we know, we are definitely not helicopter parents in this process. But it's good to know that we may have been perceived as such if we participated in some of these early visits/meetings. We certainly wouldn't want that.

quote:

Originally posted by 2013 Parent:
Admittedly, I don't know how football recruiting works, but we wouldn't send 2013 to have even the initial conversations with the baseball coaches without one of us.

Any thoughts?

With my son, the initial (personal) conversations with college coaches came in the HS football coach's office. I never attended any of those meetings. With baseball, sometimes they would talk to him after a game. I left them alone. If your son is considering a visit, by all means, I would encourage you to go, also.

Do what is comfortable for you and your son. I don't think there is a 'right' way for everyone on this.

A 2012 is a senior, he is old enough to go by himself.

I agree with justbaseball, do what is right and comfortable for you and your son.

2013 Parent,

I think if you throw distance (home to school) in the mix, you will get different answers due to flights or "windshield time" which really boils down to safety concerns and familiarity with travelling. My kids aren't used to driving more than 90 minutes to Grandma & Grandpas house. So, I would be a little concerned if the visit was more than they are used to driving or if it involved heavy traffic.

In the context of baseball recruiting.....As a rule, we showed our son how to do the things that needed to be done, when and why. He did this from his Fall of Junior year all the way to committing his senior year. He handled all communication written, verbal, and face to face meetings including offers. We helped him organize his communications and "coach" his strategy and approach. A parent was always in the background or near campus for unofficial or official visits depending on the distance. As parents, we only got directly involved when the subject turned to money which typically meant calls to the Financial Aid office.

We know, and witnessed many parents take a smiliar hands-off approach. I like to think college baseball recruiting was his coming out party for the adult world. These same skills have already been applied to summer internship application (last summer) which he did a great job in a tough labor market. As I like to say, it is his "gig".

Best of luck with your son's visit.

I do not believe parents should be on the visit

To explain my comment, the player in discussion being a 2012 is old enough to go on a visit by himself, however I am in favor of parents attending with their players whenever possible as we did on sons 2 official visits.

Funny thing was that on the two visits we went on, we didn't see much of son, we actually spent more time with other parents and the coaches than the players did, who were off with their future teammates. When he received his invites, the coaches called us for an invite as well, if they didn't ask, not sure if we would have gone. We kind of got to know the coaches that weekend, and could understand why son preferred one over the other, so when decision time came, we were happy to all be on the same page.

Our children are able to figure things out for themselves, but in reality whether baseball was involved or not, we would be on campus visits with son. College is expensive, parents have the right to give their input.
JMO.

I agree TPM. I always saw that it was my son's decision. But as a parent, I think you need some idea about where your son is going to be spending the next 4 years of his life. Financially as well. We will be paying a portion of his education and we should know what we're spending it on.

Simple as that. Not that our son can't make the decision himself or that he shouldn't talk to the coaches on his own. But we should be involved in some way. Son talked to the coach many, many times before we ever met him. He has talked to him many, many times since we were there on campus and we have not. No biggie. Because we went on the visit with him, we now know where he will be spending his time, what the facilities are like, what the coaches are like, what his dorm room is like, etc...

Maybe it is more for our comfort level than his, but it's nice to know.

Shouldn't parents be in the $$$ talks with the coaches? Depending how bad the school wants your son offers can be negoitiated.

when the movey aspect is involved rhen parents should be involved----my son made all his trips on his vown-ny to texaS, NEWMEXICO, FLORIDA AND NORTH CAROLINA

when ever money came up he would have the coach call me--a lotr has to do with the boys maturity and the trust the parent has in the boy--