Mental Toughness Preparation

family321 - welcome to the hsbbweb

IMHO the only way to learn how to play baseball and to ultimately relax when you are in there is to actually PLAY the game. In my mind, playing out-trumps how competitive the traveling team is. Mental toughness is something that can be developed over time and I don't consider this as a grass is greener situation. If you feel he won't play, then find somewhere that may afford him a better opportunity. One key at this age is the ability to fail without subtantial repercussion. Did you realize they still make errors even in the big leagues? It is hard to relax if you feel that any mistake may bench you.

Fam123,

Time is on your side. Sometimes reacting with decisions like this only confuses a kid even more at that age. Get him on a team, continue working with him to improve, and let the team politics fall where they fall; for now. If he stays focused he is going to learn a great lesson as he watches things develop with other players and with that lesson will come his own "mental toughness". If it's a daddball issue move to a better situation but at the same time stand back and make sure there is no reason to the madness. Sometimes moving from team to team is the other side of daddyball.

Welcome, family321!

I agree that at your son's age, it is very important for him to get the opportunity to play, and to play without constant fear of being benched for a single error. Baseball is very much a mental game, and going out on the field afraid of the reaction of your coach is a recipe for mistakes. Playing good competition is important, but if your son can play on another team that is decent competition and will allow him a more positive experience, that might be better.

An anecdote that applies somewhat, from my son's early years of baseball. (He is a 20-yr-old college pitcher now.) When he was 10, our local league was still doing coach-pitch, so a couple dads of the better players put together a team to "play up" against 11-12 year olds in a nearby league so the boys could start pitching in games. They told the boys that they might not win any games this season, but they would learn some things, and they would have fun! Also, pitchers were told that as long as they wanted to stay out on the mound, and their arm was not getting sore, they would be allowed to finish an inning they started. In that season, my son learned that even if he loaded up the bases or gave up a couple of runs, he could get the next batter out. As long as he didn't want to come off the mound, his coaches would allow him to finish the inning, which meant he always walked off the field after getting the last batter out. The coaches (dads of 2 other players) would give him advice on what to learn from the inning, but would always stay positive. The boys did end up winning more games than expected, they learned a lot, they had fun - and the pitchers also learned to stay mentally tough and believe that they would get that next batter out! That belief has always stuck with my son through the years. I think every young player deserves to have at least one season to play for a coach who is positive and will give him chances to succeed.

Julie

Get your son to a different team immediately. There's no reason for that daddy-ball nonesense that you've been putting up with. And when you call the current coach to let him know your son will no longer be on that team be sure to spell out your reasons for leaving, however unlikely it is that he'll change that's the only way that these things can begin to get better.


There's another aspect to this also, FUN. It can't be a bit of fun for your son in his current situation. (There are times when I wonder if kid's baseball wouldn't be a lot better off without any adults involved whatsoever.) If a kid rides the bench, gets yelled at for every little mistake, doesn't get decent instruction, and is generally miserable, who can blame him if at some point he doesn't want to keep playing.

Find a new team for him and have him play "at age" where he will get the most innings he can. He's never going to get better riding the pine while "playing" up.

Some good points made here. --- First off don’t believe everything they tell you at a camp for a 13 year old player. You pay the entry fees and they pass out the compliments. That is basic business 101 ---- the camp promoters understand that customer satisfaction is very important!

I agree with Cleveland Dad and MN Mom in that your son needs to play. If he’s not playing then this is all for naught!
Rz1 make a very good point too. Politics will always be a part of the game from T ball to pro ball and the player doesn’t need to have these things pointed out to him especially by a parent with tunnel vision and rose colored glasses. Things can get very confusing and complicated for a 13 year old boy. In my opinion the goal is to play baseball ---- not to become mentally tough.
Fungo

You will not play well if you worry about making an error and you wont get better if you dont play. mental toughness comes from confidence.

Family321, first let me say how impressed I am with you as a newbie to this site. Remember when I first posted....it was a brief, rather timid post....but you....well you've covered this subject on two threads...and even included a polling survey!

Agree with most of the other posters....better to have a kid playing ball....and I'd find another team....

family321

First of all, welcome to the HSBBW messageboard.
The scenerio you described about the one son, is all too familiar, but do not be dismayed by the daddy-ball mentality at current time, and as mentioned by several here in this thread, he needs to be playing baseball and attaining experience on the field regardless of the obstacles placed in the way. Eventually, he will reach the level of play when daddy-ball will vanish as he progresses to the higher levels such as in HS, pro or college. The hardest part for a player this age is swallowing his pride and being patient while the neptic world rules. He who endures to the end of the rainbow, will be awarded a pot of gold -Shepism

Run!
Hide!
Flee!
My son went through one year of H-E-doublehockeysticks when he was 13. The whole experience almost soured him on the game. He didn't even play summer ball the year after his 8th grade JV season. Get out of dodge and find a new team.

fam321
i am also new to highschool baseball web

Baseball can sure be a rollar coaster ride. Our family can really relate. As a 13 and 14 year old, my son's aau team finished 4th then 2nd at the AAU Nationals. Going into High school, we kind of asssumed he would play as he had been so successfull on his aau team. Well, his first introduction to high school legion was meeting his new legion coaches...3 dads who had voluteered to coach the incoming 9th graders. And of course, the manager and one of the coaches sons played the same positions as my son. At the end of the summer and fall season, my son had had 2 ab's and pitched 1 inning. I can't begin to tell you how frustrating this became and it came to a boil as he didn't make his highschool JV team in the spring( the spring JV coach got the scouting report from the legion dads instead of a formal tryout ). Well, my son got in the weight room and long tossed with me 3 days a week, he started working with a pitching instructor and became so determined. He tried out and make the JV summer legion team(only 1 spot open to fill as it was mostly the spring jv roster) and the jv coach finally got to see him pitch. He was called up to varsity towards the end of the year and will be competing for a starting pitching spot for this spring. As for the coaches/dads sons...they did not make the summer varsity team.
Sorry for the long winded story but my message is to continue working hard everyday and you can reach your goals...regardless of what "favorites" coaches/dads have.

I say get on another team ASAP. Your son needs to play. Daddy ball is something just about everyone runs into eventually. My son ran into this same situation at about the same age, 13-14 aau. We discussed it in detail and made sure he was ready to move and that he understood he wasn't letting the team down - that it was a special situation caused by self serving adults. To make a long story short. My son is now a senior. His junior year he was his high school's Team Offensive MVP, 1st Team All Conference, and Area Player of the Year. The favored ones on that stayed on the aau team are either no longer playing ball or are pretty much role players on their teams.

Better to be on the field playing for any team than sitting on the bench for a good team.

It seems that 13/14 is a real hard time for the boys. The field gets bigger. I don't think my son's coaches handled it very well. The kids couldn't knock them out of the park like they used to.

I know it's not easy being a coach, but like stated up above many kids work at it in the off season. This is why even daddy coaches should take each season and see who has improved. Our coaches have their mind made up before practices even start.

The kids are also told seconed place does'nt count that they should put those tropies in the garbage. These kids feel anytime that they don't win that they have failed. And when they get talked to they are told how much they suck.

I'm pretty new to all this. This is my oldest son and I'm appreciative for all the feedback.

It's good to see others have been through it as well!