Montgomery County Barbie

Those of you in the DC/MD/NVA will appreciate this...
Montgomery County Barbie
>
> Mattel recently announced the release of
> Limited-Edition Montgomery County dolls for the
> Maryland market:
>
> Potomac Barbie - This princess Barbie is only sold
> at Neiman's in Mazza Gallerie. She comes with an
> assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus SUV, a
> long-haired dog named Honey, and a cookie- cutter
> house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face
> lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
> "augmented" version.
>
> Gaithersburg Barbie - This modern-day homemaker
> Barbie is available with Ford Windstar minivan and
> matching gym outfit. She gets lost easily and has no
> full time occupation or secondary education.
> Traffic-jamming cell phone included, headset sold
> separately.
>
> Silver Spring Barbie - This recently paroled former
> "**** Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a
> Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows,
> and a methlab kit. This model is only available
> after dark and can only be paid for in cash.
> Preferably small, untraceable bills. Unless you are
> a cop, then we don't know what you are talking
> about.
>
> Bethesda Barbie - This yuppie Barbie comes with your
> choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are
> her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and country club
> membership. Also available for this set are Shallow
> Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able
> to afford any of them.
>
> Rockville Barbie - This pale model comes dressed in
> her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR
> shirt, and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She
> has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams,
> Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick
> mullet-haired Ken's *** when she is drunk. Purchase
> her pickup truck separately and get a confederate
> flag bumper sticker absolutely free.
>
> North Potomac Barbie - This collagen injected, rhino
> plastic Barbie wears a leopard print bikini outfit
> and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends
> at the McMansion. Percocet prescription available.
>
> Damascus Barbie - This tobacco chewing,
> brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own
> high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the
> time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Fontana Barbie's
> house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed
> jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter
> top. Also available with a mobile home.
>
> Cabin John Barbie - This doll is made of actual
> tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless
> feet, hairy armpits, no makeup, and Birkenstocks
> with white socks. She prefers that you call her
> "Willow". She does not want or need a Ken doll, but
> you if purchase two Cabin John Barbie's and the
> optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag
> sticker for free.
>
> Wheaton Barbie - This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie
> comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary
> plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but
> no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a
> paint-bucket lunch pail and is missing three fingers
> on his left hand. Green cards are not available for
> Wheaton Barbie or Ken.

GO NAVY!!!BEAT army!!!!!