Motivation

You cannot teach the "passion" for the game---it has to come from within the player---all kids play LL because that is the "thing" to do---after that many kids find other things to do

Yes, thank you, I am aware of that. I know you can't teach or force a passion upon someone. Maybe I should have phrased it differently. I'm talking more about motivation I guess. If my son played LL just cause it was the thing to do then I wouldn't be thinking twice about this. I wish it was that simple.

Look at Mickey Mantle, for instance. I am not comparing my kid to him in anyway, but look at what Mantle's father did with him. Everyday after school there was mandatory bp. I'm assuming you know this, but just in case I'll say it anyway. Everyday the father and grandfather, I believe, took turns pitching lefty and righty to him while he switch hit. When I first heard about that I thought this father was the biggest ***, forcing the kid to do that every day, but look at the result. Then when Mickey was on his way home crying after his first unsuccessful experience in the big leagues it was his dad who gave him a kick in the pants which led to or contributed to Mantle's turn around. That's what I'm struggling with.

Why don't you try asking him if he would like to be pushed by you. Some kids need to have it explained to them that they won't improve witout hard work. I explain to my boys that if they want to advance they need to work hard and often, and if they really want to do well I will help them, but it won't be easy. Both of my boys accept it better that way. They never complain about working when I remind them or push them a little, but they won't always do things on there own.

The problem today is that kids won't practice on their own, at least most of them---too many other things to do

quote:

play day and night

The key word is PLAY. He may be too immature to realiz
e the hard work required to play at a high level. I would stop doing things for him until he shows some self motivation.
many kids that are told they are good early don't put the effort in until they have to. Hopefully this may trigger a wake up call.
At this point it seems you want it more than he does.

Yeah, I've had that talk with him. Told him I would not force anything upon him, but it takes hard work and I'd be there to push him if he wanted it or needed it. He was responsive to that. Maybe I haven't done enough or maybe I've expected too much. TR is right, I think there are too many distractions today. It's hard for me to get on a ball field with him now since he's bigger and stronger and I'm a small woman. He gets frustrated because he can't throw hard to me. Last time he did I misjudged and it hit me in the face and my nose started bleeding. He felt so bad, poor kid. I have yet to find any quality instructors in our area who I could hire to work with him and I really don't know what else to do to enable him to get the practice he needs. Oh well, just have to keep looking I suppose. As long as I know I'm not being a psycho parent by pushing this, I'll keep at it.

Thanks for your feedback.

bobble head-

You make some great points. I'm waiting to see if this serves as a wake up call for him. That will be very telling. If it doesn't, then I will stop worrying because it's up to him at that point.

In regards to me wanting it more than him, yes I have questioned myself on that and done some serious soul searching. I do not believe that's the case. I love baseball and I love seeing my kid excel, but I just want him to be happy while knowing that I have given him all the tools and opportunities to succeed. It doesn't bother me personally that he's not on the hs team, it bothers me that he wanted something so bad and didn't put in the effort.

Isj18 - I think the answer to your questions will come soon enough. Sure he's disappointed he didn't make it this year. Every kid would be. But how will your son respond to it? Does he get mad, go out and bust his butt to make sure it doesn't happen next year or does he move on?

You're right Beezer, you're absolutely right. I need to just chill for now and see how responds. If this is truly what he wants in life he'll have to help make it happen.

Regarding Mantle, IMO that didn't work out for the best in the big scheme of things. It is unlikely he enjoyed the game as much as those watching him thought. If this is something your boy decides he truly wants he must demonstrate that to you thru his actions. I may have misunderstood but did he blame you for his failure ? If so, the attitude adjustment starts there. All you can and should provide is encouragement and opportunity within your means. Here's hoping he discovers what makes him happy and pursues it.

Does he play for a summer team?

That's a lot of kids trying out for a freshman team! Makes it real tough for the late bloomers who may be playing more than one sport to compete. If he keeps working out and plays summer ball you might be able to compare him to the kids that made the cut and form a plan for next year if he still wants to play. Other options would be to change positions or schools, depends on how important this is to you and your son. Good luck!

When things calm down talk to him about goals. If he wants to play next year/summer ball help him walk thru what he needs to start doing now to improve his game and document it - make a day by day calendar and have him follow it.

My son actually asked me to push him so I did - not crazy or anything - I just pointed to his goals and he would put down the XBox controller and do what he committed to.

First year of HS is tough - the social life starts to kick in and those girls are cute.

He will have one problem next year that you should be aware of. The guys that made the team now have 1 year experience over your son. He will have to really make a good showing to out weigh the experience issue.

Good luck and hopefully he is playing ball again.

Just had another thought - if he wants to continue playing ball - have him appraoch the coach and see if he could help the team in anyway - catching pens or whatever - I would guess just the offer would be impressive to the coach.

If I'm the coach that last piece of advise goes a long way. I woudl be honored to have a young man with those kind of stones around my team. I knew a guy once who was fired from a sales job for lack of performance. He knew he could do better and he also knew he could learn a lot from being around a particular sales manager who fired him. He asked if he could be allowed to stay around and attend meetings and training classes with the others even though he was not technically employed. It was allowed and he soon began producing. He was fired, found a window back in and basically just never left. May not pertain here, but a good story aboout persistence none the less. True story too.

Thanks guys, you've all provided great advice. We had a long talk last night, yet again, and he was finally able to express some thoughts. He definitely doesn't blame me. He's not like that, he's a great kid. I think he was embarassed and shocked more than anything. He says he's ready to work hard now because he wants to play ball more than anything else so we'll see...

Another challenge he has is that he skipped a grade when he was in grammar school so he's a year or more younger than most these guys. I think he really does understand now that he has some hard work ahead of him. He is a bit distracted by the girls though ! He's going to play on a club team for the spring and then try out for the hs summer team so we'll see what happens there. That is awesome advice, catcher09, about asking the coach if he could help out at all. I will definitely suggest that to him. The head coach seems like a really cool guy so hopefully that's something that could work out.

Thanks again everyone, I really appreciate your insights.

Keep us updated. I have a feeling things will turn out great. I can understand his frustration but remember M. Jordan was cut from his freshman basketball team. They didnt think he was very good. About a billion dollars later......

Thanks for the encouraging words. I didn't know that about MJ. That's pretty incredible. I know Ryan Howard was overlooked by high school and college coaches. He got into the majors as a walk on. It just goes to show you should never give up. I appreciate your interest and I will keep you posted.

ISJ18 I sent you a PM

Sent ya one back...I think. Don't know if I did it right.

man oh man i feel your pain ,got a 13 yo(freshman next year) that the game comes easy to.having trouble convincing him that everyone thats working hard will catch up to him if he doesnt put in the work.high school is a whole different ballgame!i am just trying to be available for him when he is ready,still pushing but not too hard,he still loves the game but like someone else said here there is so much to do hard to stay balanced sometimes.

Hey lsj18, so what happened over the summer? Is he playing fall ball?

Unlike your son who was told he was good and then got caught unprepared for the competition, my son is a bit of a late bloomer, he's grown more than 10 inches and gained 25 pounds in the last two years, and was never considered very good in LL. He had a good arm and hit decently, and so we tried for years to find a summer team for him to play on, but couldn't find one, so he's missed out on a lot of bb experience. He took up golf during the summer instead (shoots in the low 80's at age 15), and has been starting nose guard on the football team, but bb is his favorite sport.

Last year he changed schools and made the JV baseball team as a freshman pitcher, was in the high 70s with his fast ball, and developed a mean curve with lots of motion. But since he already had summer plans to be a CIT at a golf camp (and we had paid the nonrefundable fee months before he made the JV baseball team), we didn't even try to find a summer team for him. Now I don't know what to do for next summer. He needs to play, not just throw and hit bp (not warning track power, but consistently scores base hits or walks when they don't pitch anything for him to hit), and you can't get that consistently unless you are on a team.

I've seen others on this list say if you have a checkbook, you can find a summer team to play on. Well I've got a checkbook if someone out there knows how this is done, and is willing to let me in on the secret.

If you are really looking for a summer team you have to let people know where your from

I have places for my boy to stay in Richmond, Alexandria, Chapel Hill, Ashville, Morganton, N.C., Tuscaloosa, Birmingham, Atlanta, Pace, Jacksonville - which is why I was rather broad in describing my geographic location.

Also, I've been checking the other topics and found some interesting discussion out of the Texas forum re: checkbooks getting kids onto teams that aren't all that good, I'm not interested in that.

BTW, that's the JV football team, he's not THAT big!

We call it the video game mind set. They all like to play them. In a video game there is no practices, condtioning and training. You just juice your players and teams. I think alot of kids(boys) think 'playing' in real life should be that easy.

I also am afraid my son could fall into the trap of believing what people tell him about how well he pitches will make him a little lax in his routines. HOw fo you guard against that?

It's a mindset that starts with schoolwork, IMHO. Kids get the idea that their homework is "done" when they have completed the paperwork the teacher has assigned, and don't appreciate the need for repetition and understanding to facilitate recall, whether it is mental memory or muscle memory. Then they don't understand why they don't perform well on tests, or in the game when they don't have time to think about what they need to do.

My son never did any practice on his own, never watched BB on tv and absolutely loved video games. Still loves video games. He takes a potable one on road trips as well as a mp3/video player. I never tried to change him or stop him. I even encouraged it. This is his down time and I believe video games help with motor skills.
On the positive side he played basket ball all through HS and that was a tough workout. They won their city every year and went to the provincial championships twice at AAAA level. His coach is now coaching in Bulls Head Arizona and took the 5A team to their 1st state championship. He was a grinder so between BB and basketball he had more than he needed. I left him alone and he always did well accademically so I really felt he deserved to do what he liked on his down time. At one point he was playing on 4 BB teams and it was his choice. I did occasionally try to get him to join a gym but he didn't until his senior year.

When my son was 10 and playing baseball I asked him if he was having fun. He told me baseball is not fun it was alot of hard work,going to a party was fun.
Some players may not view it that way, they may be playing for fun and theres noting wrong with that.All a parent can do is provided the opportunities the player will do the work if he has the passion.

lefty 34,

Some kids are encouraged when they are told they are doing well and work even harder

We were cleaning out my son's room a couple days ago and came accross an assignment he did in grade 6. Of course it was all about BB and how he wamted to play D1 BB in a US college. To be honest I never knew that he had this ambition way back then. He is a quiet kid and never said anything until the year before he went to college.
He was motivated in his own way. He played every chance he could and was usually the 1st guy at the park. Worked out with his team all winter and couldn't wait to get there. He just never watched much BB and didn't work out on his own.

Wow. Reading this thread makes me wonder if my son needs to get a life! He is baseball 24/7/365. He works out by himself or with me almost every day that he doesn't have practice. He will watch baseball, but only when it's dark and can't play.

Last Saturday, he had a little tendonitis in his elbow and so I told him no baseball. He has maybe four different game systems, lots of friends, lots of books, movies, etc. All day long I heard, "Ma, I'm bored."
We can go rent a new game
I'm bored
Why don't you call your friends?
I'm bored
How about that geometry homework?
Geometry sucks. I'm bored

The next day, the arm felt better. So the first time he said "Ma, I'm bored." I said
"Wanna hit?"
Yeah.

quote:

Originally posted by 2Bmom:
Wow. Reading this thread makes me wonder if my son needs to get a life! He is baseball 24/7/365.

My wife and I worry that our son is too focused on playing baseball "at the next level."

He wakes up at 6:00am every morning (on his own) and hits about 100 balls off of the tee before eating breakfast and getting ready for school. He lifts weights with the team at school during "Off-season Class", and then stays after school for more lifting, running and long-tossing. He usually gets home around 6:00 in the evening, eats dinner, then hits the books for a couple of hours, even if he doesn't have homework. About the time I'm ready to go to bed, he asks me to throw to him in the cage. Whenever I won't throw bp, he bribes his sisters to soft-toss to him.

He is obsessed with working out, getting ground balls, hitting, throwing and grades. His friends are baseball kids, he plans his weekends around tournaments or practices, he freaks out if he has an 87 average in a class at the 3-week mark and goes to study hall or does extra credit work to make sure he doesn't "screw up his GPA." He is interested in girls and they are interested in him, but won't date anyone during the season because, "chicks take up too much time and distract me from my game." He didn't play football this year because he doesn't want to get hurt and miss baseball. Basketball is out now because in HS, the basketball season overlaps baseball by a couple of weeks.

I worry that he is putting too much pressure on himself and that he will burn out. I worry that he is missing out on all the fun of being a typical high-school kid. I worry that he has set the bar so high that his goals might not be realistic. Don't get me wrong, I'm very proud of his determination, work ethic and accomplishments; I just don't want him to sacrifice his high-school years and all the fun that goes along with them to work toward a goal that he may not be able to reach.

My wife and I have had countless talks with our son about being "well-rounded" and experiencing everything life has to offer. We have encouraged (even pushed) him to take some time off and not worry so much about his GPA and OBP, chase girls, play x-box, even get a skateboard, just be a kid.

The bottom line is that HE wants to do everything he is doing and HE is happy doing it. If he were in the band, I think he'd be focused on getting into Julliard. If he was interested in flying, I think he'd do whatever it takes to get an appointment to the Air Force Academy. Some kids are just wired that way; they are focused, dedicated and willing to pay the price to reach their goals (Lord knows he didn't get that trait genetically from his mother or I...)

Heavy D, your son sounds a lot like mine, who is a freshman this year. When we go to the beach, what does he do? Brings the old Warrior and hits golf ball whiffle balls into the wind. Sometimes we can get him to switch to a frisbee, but we go nowhere without the whiffles and the Warrior. He was just learning to play raquetball with my husband, but when my husband got hurt in a bicycle accident last year, that ended. So it's baseball, and he loves it.

As for grades, the reason you take a test is to make the highest grade in the class, right? He's in the honors program, too, and we never have to worry about him doing his homework. But, as you said, he's doing what he wants to do. He never talks specifically about getting to the next level, but I know he must think about it. He wants to be the best he can be. Every now and then I run into one of the parents from his one-and-only rec ball team here in G'ville. This guy always says, "boy his bat was magic that year!" It wasn't magic - it was hard work!

TG, I don't know how your son does it!