Multi-Sport HS Athlete: Is it OK to tell your kid it's too much?

Same sports, same position (baseball after HS) as my son who is a 2017.  Still playing summer basketball, HS basketball and travel baseball.

JMO -he will tell you when he's done or can't balance.  Unless baseball will be his future employer, let him make the decision when it's right.  So what if he doesn't get enough strength training in.  He will either be projectable to a college team and they recruit him or he will play in a lower division than what you/he hoped.  Does that really make a life changing difference if baseball won't be his career?

Just my opinion, but I feel it's their decision to make.  Now, if he's not doing any baseball side work and you are paying for travel baseball, then that's another conversation that needs to happen; unless you don't mind the continuous outpouring of monies.

I posted the same question a few years ago about my 2017, except he was playing football, basketball and baseball at the tim.  Pretty much everyone answered with, your son will know when its time to drop down to one sport.  Everyone was right.  At some point before my sons jr year he decided to drop football and basketball.  

Also, my advice would be to let your son decide what sport to drop.  You mention wanting to tell him to drop basketball, but it really needs to be your son who decides.  In my case I felt that my son was best at football and had the best chance to play after HS if he stuck with football.  Turns out he did not love the sport and would have been miserable playing football for another 6 years.

There is so much that goes into this and it is so personal and unique to each situation.  There are a lot of threads on the topic and I suggest you search and read them to make sure you are accounting for all that may apply to your 2019.

Generally, the prevailing thought here is to play them all until each sport tells you otherwise.  And I am a proponent of that but it's certainly not always that simple.  Can the player handle the work load without academics taking a hit?  Will it hinder the opportunity to make the other team?  Is there burnout?  What are the injury risks?  What are the conditioning and competitive advantages?  Will the player need to attend baseball showcases/key tourneys during the other sport season?  Does playing both require travel/club for both?  Does it work financially for the family?  The list of considerations is very lengthy.  

One son played both basketball and baseball throughout HS as well as club hockey.  Schedule was frantic but he loved them all.  He ended up playing college baseball.  Even with the crazy schedule, he managed to get plenty of extra baseball work in outside of the HS season and, in fact, juggled a lot of club and scout baseball, instruction, etc. during basketball season.  His situation, though, was that he was established as a key player in each sport at his HS, so he was not in jeopardy of losing playing time or not making the squad for any of the sports at any time, really.  Each of the coaches would certainly have  liked to see more of him over more of the year but, in the end, if your son is a good enough player, most coaches will make it work.  And if he wants to play baseball in college badly enough, he can still find all the time he needs to get in the work it takes.  And I definitely believe that competing in the other sports helped both from a conditioning and competitive mindset standpoint.

I think you just have to do the best you can to make sure your son is educated on what his specific circumstances are, what it will take to reach his goals, what things are most important to him and what the consequences are of his decisions.  Of course, I'm sure you set standards with grades and other home/family responsibilities to be met first before sports are allowed.  There are pros and cons, give and take to every decision we make.  You only get to experience HS sports once.

Same situation with my 2016 - baseball and basketball.  He did two winters of 8am Saturday morning basketball practices (for the HS) with 8pm winter workouts for baseball travel team and then opted to drop basketball his Jr year.  He had two concussions his Soph year playing hoops which was part of his decision but I think he saw the writing on the wall in terms of future with basketball (even though he was always a good player).  We really wanted him to go back to basketball his Sr year once the baseball recruiting was done but he didn't want to do it (and he missed a run to the State final 8).    

I would let him run with the two until he feels like it's too much.  Maybe he won't.  One thing I can say about multi-sport athletes that I noticed during our Sr. Sports Award night here at our HS.  There were only a few of what I'd call true 3 sport athletes (they counted 3 track seasons as three sports here as well but to me that's just track) and none of them were going on to play college sports.   Our two male co-athletes of the class were two sport athletes - one was Lacrosse/Basketball (going to Patriot League to play Lax) and the other was baseball/basketball (he will pitch D1 down south).  The baseball player didn't play basketball until his Sr. year after his baseball decision was done.   It really seems like unless you are one of the top athletes (like really top) it's hard to continue your career into college without specializing in one sport (but I still think its the kids call to make).    

"Play both sports until the competition tells him otherwise" - Mary Ann Shappi. RIP my friend. 

MKbaseballdad posted:

...   It really seems like unless you are one of the top athletes (like really top) it's hard to continue your career into college without specializing in one sport (but I still think its the kids call to make).    

 

I guess it depends on your definition of "really top" athletes is...

Most of son's D2 and JC teammates played multiple varsity sports in HS.    Browse college baseball rosters and search their bio's.  A significant percentage played multiple varsity sports in HS.  Most were one of the top in their HS but not necessarily D1 stud types.

Maybe I'm drawing conclusions I don't have data to support.  It may say more about our high school - there were not a ton of college athletes overall.  Even the basketball team that won our section (and beat a perennial powerhouse in our section finals) and went 3 rounds in the state tournament had only one player who will play in college (and he's going to take a gap year).  Two of the players will play other sports (the Lax and Baseball player mentioned in my post) but none will play basketball.   

So it that regards it's probably a good definition of top athletes - they are the ones you'd find on college rosters.   

Both of my boys played both basketball and baseball in high school.  The older one was good enough to be all state his senior year in hoop.  The decision our family made was no summer basketball activity.  They played in season only, with the exception of some light out of season stuff leading up to the start of basketball in the fall.  Both of mine knew baseball was primary and treated it as such by applying priority.  That may not be the solution for everyone, but it worked for both my boys.

I'll provide my view and my son's experience. First, my view. I believe kids should play the sports they want and enjoy the experience. A kid only gets to be a high school stud once. Enjoy the experience. That said, I told my son he might have to make some decisions down the road if playing college baseball becomes viable. He was playing three sports. I told him he might have to cut back to two to have an off season for training.

Before middle school my son played soccer, basketball and baseball at the rec and travel level. In middle school we let him play football. He continued to play travel soccer and the other sports. The offensive coordinator was geeked up about training my son to become the QB junior year. 

Entering high school it took a week to decide banging in football and fall baseball were not a good mix. He walked away from football. He begged the soccer coach to take him despite missing summer sessions. He played JV freshman year. The soccer coach had him as the goalie going back to when he was ten. He was the point guard on  freshman basketball. He was the shortstop and a pitcher on JV baseball. In the winter he attended three 5am baseball practices per week. He skip them on game days.

in he summer he played travel baseball, went to goalie camp and worked on his basketball on his own. I told him he may have to drop a sport by junior year to give more focus to baseball.

Soph year he was the starting varsity goalie. He was the projected varsity shortstop. I expected him to be the JV point guard. Some expected him to make varsity due to his passing and defense. 

The basketball coach had other ideas. He wasn't happy my son didn't attend off season workouts in the fall. He was playing soccer and fall ball. He didn't play summer basketball. He was playing travel and did two weeks of goalie camp. My son was cut from basketball. Everyone was shocked.

My son was going to talk with the basketball coach the next day. I ran into him at the grocery store that night. We're friends. We had a good discussion about the situation.

He said if my son was only playing basketball and one other sport it would have been ok. But skipping all the offseason work was not ok (even though talent wise he belonged in the program).

My son was bummed. Soccer is his best sport. But he loves basketball as much as baseball. I believe he could have played college ball in any of the sports. He rationalized the situation as the basketball coach made the decision for him about playing a third sport and having an off season to train for baseball.

His baseball game took a giant leap that year. Part of it was getting bigger and stronger. Part of that was not running off weight playing basketball. Plus he lifted like crazy. He focused and worked hard on his swing and pitching mechanics that winter. It made a huge difference in who he was as a baseball player. 

Looking back he knows having winters off before baseball turned out to be the best thing for him. He played three years of varsity soccer and baseball.

I really appreciate the feedback. Obviously, everyone's situation is different but the common theme is if/when it is time, he will know. On a side note, the kid maintains a 4.0 GPA to boot. Another reason why I can't find the gumption to tell him to seriously think about taking the pedal off of the gas in terms of multiple sports. Thanks again everyone, I'll standby for more feedback/experiences on the topic.

WCP 

WestCoastPapa posted:

I really appreciate the feedback. Obviously, everyone's situation is different but the common theme is if/when it is time, he will know. On a side note, the kid maintains a 4.0 GPA to boot. Another reason why I can't find the gumption to tell him to seriously think about taking the pedal off of the gas in terms of multiple sports. Thanks again everyone, I'll standby for more feedback/experiences on the topic.

WCP 

Let me ask you this... would you consider telling your son to drop his science class (or take a lower one) so he can spend more time on his math class? 

It's interesting to me how society seems to want "well rounded students" but "specialized athletes." Still trying to figure that one out here..

Hi, WestCoastPapa --

I understand where you're coming from!  I've spent many a summer carting my kids to multiple sporting events with them changing in the backseat and filling up their water jugs at Subway.  Those are fun years, enjoy!   What we found was that as the boys become men, and the basketball players are 6'8" and the pitches are 90+ mph, it becomes harder to do both sports in one day, or even one weekend -- even if the coaches are agreeable and the parent and kid are willing.  At some point, even "BO KNOWS" (dating myself with that reference!) that an athlete has to take care of his body properly and play his sports one season at a time. 

I'm a firm believer in being a multi-sport athlete.  So by the summer before junior year, we asked our oldest son to do as many sports as he wanted -- but just to do them one at a time.  I believe that is the key.  Please do not let your son feel that he's "falling behind" by not playing both his sports year round.  Baseball recruiting coaches seem to love that my 2017 son plays basketball.  And many people say there are fewer repetitive-use injuries among kids who play multiple sports.  IMO, your son shouldn't have to quit a sport -- when he can just do them one at a time, and there are real advantage to doing that.

As the coach in MONEYBALL says, that was my "nickel's worth of free advice."    Of course everyone is different and I'm sure you'll find the best path.  Best of luck to you and your son.

As a parent of a few sons and a 2017 I have learned to let them play and experience as much as possible in high school as long as grades don't suffer.  

Given how few high school athletes go on to play in college their high school athletic experience could be thier last. 

My son is currently doing Summer Football weight training, Summer Football practice, High School Baseball practice, Travel baseball practice and games.  I look at his schedule and I become exhausted...but he is loving it. 

I view my job as encouraging him to sleep, get him to take his vitamins, remind him to eat, make sure he isn't loosing weight, and in general be a parent that drives the car and writes the checks.  I look at it like this, if he wasn't having fun he would give something up or make excuses not to go.  I'm also looking at football training this summer as a sort of speed and agility program which is something I usually put my son in over summer anyway. 

Not a big deal. They have lots of energy. Mine doing all three today. Football workout 6:45 to 8:30.  Baseball with a few others on their own from 9:30 til 11.  Then basketball tonight 7-9.  It's school that gets in the way!  Once that starts again things will get tighter. 

As noted above my son ultimately played two sports. My daughter played softball, volleyball and basketball. They practiced, trained or played  baseball/softball eleven months of the year. Their goal was to play in college.

There are sacrifices. They both dropped music lessons and orchestra in high school. My daughter also quit chorus. Throw in academics and there are only so many hours in the day.

Both of them said friends (of sports not in season and non sports) complained about their lack of accessibility. It's more of an issue with girls.

My son played 3 thru junior high, soccer (fall), basketball (winter) and baseball (spring)....and all summer    Our HS football and basketball programs are both among top smaller school programs in Ohio. Our baseball program won it's first outright league title 2 years ago.    He could play basketball as well as the other kids in his grade but as an 8th grader was about 4'8 and maybe 90 lbs...so it looked like his basketball options were limited.  Also the fact that he couldn't play in the summer (due to baseball) was going to be a problem, as our HS coaches would have liked to have him playing.  He decided basketball wasn't for him....which was fine with us for a few reasons.  1. It freed up what little summer time he had left outside of baseball and 2) it allowed him to work out for baseball in the winter (HS basketball coaches didn't even let our HS guys hit in the winter).  It turned out to be the right decision for him.  He played CYO basketball to stay in shape.   He also played Varsity soccer and was all-District his senior year.  Fortunately the soccer coach understood his situation and told him "come in the summer when/if you can"....so that's what he did.  His teammates understood and he had no issues when it came time for the fall Varsity season rolling around to fit right back in with the team.  Actually had a D2 coach call his senior year and ask if he'd be interested in playing soccer in college.

I know kids still play 3 sports....but in our school (135-140 kids per grade), the kids who do just don't seem to ever excel in one....but tend to be "average" in 2 or 3.  One of my son's best friends growing up had MAJOR potential as a baseball player.....as a junior high kid he could have played CF on most varsity teams. I coached him for 4 years...the kid was as talented as any kid I've seen on the baseball field.   Unfortunately the football and basketball coaches convinced him otherwise.  He played 4 years of varsity football....never caught more than 5 catches in a season and was basically told to run track in the spring over baseball (never earned a point).  He was on the varsity team in basketball, but never started a game after his sophomore year and barely saw the floor as a senior.  He was 6'1 as an 8th grader (parents were 5'8 and 5'2) and was 6'1 when he graduated.   Saw his dad a couple weeks ago....he was a baseball nut...and always hoped his son would stick with the game, but he never pressured him one way or the other.  He congratulated me on my son's success on the baseball field and told me he wishes to this day that I could have talked his son into sticking with baseball. 

I guess you can never tell....as each kid will be different....in my son's case....he knew and it worked out.  His friend listened to others...and was never happy with the results.

Buckeye 2015 posted:

I know kids still play 3 sports....but in our school (135-140 kids per grade), the kids who do just don't seem to ever excel in one....but tend to be "average" in 2 or 3.  One of my son's best friends growing up had MAJOR potential as a baseball player.....as a junior high kid he could have played CF on most varsity teams. I coached him for 4 years...the kid was as talented as any kid I've seen on the baseball field.   Unfortunately the football and basketball coaches convinced him otherwise.  He played 4 years of varsity football....never caught more than 5 catches in a season and was basically told to run track in the spring over baseball (never earned a point).  He was on the varsity team in basketball, but never started a game after his sophomore year and barely saw the floor as a senior.  He was 6'1 as an 8th grader (parents were 5'8 and 5'2) and was 6'1 when he graduated.   Saw his dad a couple weeks ago....he was a baseball nut...and always hoped his son would stick with the game, but he never pressured him one way or the other.  He congratulated me on my son's success on the baseball field and told me he wishes to this day that I could have talked his son into sticking with baseball. 

I guess you can never tell....as each kid will be different....in my son's case....he knew and it worked out.  His friend listened to others...and was never happy with the results.

This is an outstanding post. These stories are rarely told -- there are lots of kids who could have excelled in one sport, but in fact end up as a "jock of all sports, master of none." If a kid wants to play three sports, that's fine -- to each his own -- but there can be a downside.

My 2017 plays both and I believe that is what differentiates him from a lot of the baseball only guys.  He is quicker and more athletic than most of the others.  Baseball does not train fast twitch muscles in your typical setting, whereas basketball, that is all you do.  The downside is that he will miss some opportunities during basketball season.  Another upside is that once basketball starts it is pretty much a mandated rest on the arm and shoulder.

2019Dad posted:

Buckeye 2015 posted:

I know kids still play 3 sports....but in our school (135-140 kids per grade), the kids who do just don't seem to ever excel in one....but tend to be "average" in 2 or 3.  One of my son's best friends growing up had MAJOR potential as a baseball player.....as a junior high kid he could have played CF on most varsity teams. I coached him for 4 years...the kid was as talented as any kid I've seen on the baseball field.   Unfortunately the football and basketball coaches convinced him otherwise.  He played 4 years of varsity football....never caught more than 5 catches in a season and was basically told to run track in the spring over baseball (never earned a point).  He was on the varsity team in basketball, but never started a game after his sophomore year and barely saw the floor as a senior.  He was 6'1 as an 8th grader (parents were 5'8 and 5'2) and was 6'1 when he graduated.   Saw his dad a couple weeks ago....he was a baseball nut...and always hoped his son would stick with the game, but he never pressured him one way or the other.  He congratulated me on my son's success on the baseball field and told me he wishes to this day that I could have talked his son into sticking with baseball. 

I guess you can never tell....as each kid will be different....in my son's case....he knew and it worked out.  His friend listened to others...and was never happy with the results.

This is an outstanding post. These stories are rarely told -- there are lots of kids who could have excelled in one sport, but in fact end up as a "jock of all sports, master of none." If a kid wants to play three sports, that's fine -- to each his own -- but there can be a downside.

Also, please don't take it to mean I don't think kids can excel in more than one sport....I was basing it only on the limited number of kids we have in a smaller school.  Heck, I know there are kids with D1 scholly offers in multiple sports...it can happen, just in our case, it's not something we see due to the small numbers.  In my son's case, he knew when he was 6 years old that he wanted to be a baseball player....not a basketball player or football player.  Heck, he was the starting QB on the midget football team as a 4th grader....he was playing all 4 sports at the time.  We/he just decided at some point that it was too much....and was going to limit his ability to put the time needed into baseball.  It worked out for him.....there are obviously no guarantees

Directly back to the OP, if the kid is 15+ and it's not grades, a financial or a family discipline issue, it's OK to give him advice, but let him make the decision.

But you are closer to the situation than any poster, for sure.

The thing kids (and their parents) don't understand about high school basketball is unless the kid grows to be 6'5" or taller or has extreme ball handling skills he's going to be one of 80% of the players competing to play 2 guard. If the team plays a 1-2-2 offense it opens up a second opportunity. Then the kid better to be able to shoot lights out.

I can only remember one 6'4" kid playing forward at our high school. He was a skywalker. He did jump balls. He plays guard at a D1 now.. 

Some parents do understand.  My son wants to go out for HS basketball freshman year.  He is confident he will make the team.  He is coming from playing at a private middle school where there are 80 kids in a grade, going to a HS where there are 800 freshman.  He doesn't play AAU, just "street" pick up ball at the gym once a week, if that.  He's 5'9" (and can grab the rim).  I'm not going to tell him to not go out for it.  I'll let the coach decide.

If he makes it, that would be great.  He can sit out fall baseball.

Everyone in high school can grab the rim. A majority of the kids can dunk. 

Back when my daughter was in high school one of the basketball players was a stud recruit. In practice he would do 360 dunks. He was on an AAU team with four future big time college program players. Three were future NBA players. The fourth played in Europe. But the kid was dumber than a bag of rocks. Here's a story the basketball coach told me.

The assistant coach had played for Cincinatti when they were a powerhouse. The kid looks at the coach and says, "Bet you couldn't do this in high school." He proceeded to do a behind the back 360 dunk."

The coach looked at him dumbfounded and responded, "I did something in high school you may never accomplish."

"What's that coach?"

"I became NCAA eligible for my freshman year."

The kid went to a big time post grad program after high school. He still didn't become NCAA eligible. A big time basketball program took him anyway. He flunked out before seeing the court. He transferred and flunked again. He transferred, became eligible played one year at a D2 and dropped out of college. Now he's a drug dealer according to my son.

Buckeye 2015 posted:

2019Dad posted:

Buckeye 2015 posted:

I know kids still play 3 sports....but in our school (135-140 kids per grade), the kids who do just don't seem to ever excel in one....but tend to be "average" in 2 or 3.  One of my son's best friends growing up had MAJOR potential as a baseball player.....as a junior high kid he could have played CF on most varsity teams. I coached him for 4 years...the kid was as talented as any kid I've seen on the baseball field.   Unfortunately the football and basketball coaches convinced him otherwise.  He played 4 years of varsity football....never caught more than 5 catches in a season and was basically told to run track in the spring over baseball (never earned a point).  He was on the varsity team in basketball, but never started a game after his sophomore year and barely saw the floor as a senior.  He was 6'1 as an 8th grader (parents were 5'8 and 5'2) and was 6'1 when he graduated.   Saw his dad a couple weeks ago....he was a baseball nut...and always hoped his son would stick with the game, but he never pressured him one way or the other.  He congratulated me on my son's success on the baseball field and told me he wishes to this day that I could have talked his son into sticking with baseball. 

I guess you can never tell....as each kid will be different....in my son's case....he knew and it worked out.  His friend listened to others...and was never happy with the results.

This is an outstanding post. These stories are rarely told -- there are lots of kids who could have excelled in one sport, but in fact end up as a "jock of all sports, master of none." If a kid wants to play three sports, that's fine -- to each his own -- but there can be a downside.

Also, please don't take it to mean I don't think kids can excel in more than one sport....I was basing it only on the limited number of kids we have in a smaller school.  Heck, I know there are kids with D1 scholly offers in multiple sports...it can happen, just in our case, it's not something we see due to the small numbers.  In my son's case, he knew when he was 6 years old that he wanted to be a baseball player....not a basketball player or football player.  Heck, he was the starting QB on the midget football team as a 4th grader....he was playing all 4 sports at the time.  We/he just decided at some point that it was too much....and was going to limit his ability to put the time needed into baseball.  It worked out for him.....there are obviously no guarantees

Of course they can. My point is that those are the stories that get told -- hey, Allen Iverson was Virginia state player of the year as a junior in both football and basketball -- but you rarely hear about the "jock of all sports, master of none." And they're out there.

2019Dad posted:

Buckeye 2015 posted:

2019Dad posted:

Buckeye 2015 posted:

I know kids still play 3 sports....but in our school (135-140 kids per grade), the kids who do just don't seem to ever excel in one....but tend to be "average" in 2 or 3.  One of my son's best friends growing up had MAJOR potential as a baseball player.....as a junior high kid he could have played CF on most varsity teams. I coached him for 4 years...the kid was as talented as any kid I've seen on the baseball field.   Unfortunately the football and basketball coaches convinced him otherwise.  He played 4 years of varsity football....never caught more than 5 catches in a season and was basically told to run track in the spring over baseball (never earned a point).  He was on the varsity team in basketball, but never started a game after his sophomore year and barely saw the floor as a senior.  He was 6'1 as an 8th grader (parents were 5'8 and 5'2) and was 6'1 when he graduated.   Saw his dad a couple weeks ago....he was a baseball nut...and always hoped his son would stick with the game, but he never pressured him one way or the other.  He congratulated me on my son's success on the baseball field and told me he wishes to this day that I could have talked his son into sticking with baseball. 

I guess you can never tell....as each kid will be different....in my son's case....he knew and it worked out.  His friend listened to others...and was never happy with the results.

This is an outstanding post. These stories are rarely told -- there are lots of kids who could have excelled in one sport, but in fact end up as a "jock of all sports, master of none." If a kid wants to play three sports, that's fine -- to each his own -- but there can be a downside.

Also, please don't take it to mean I don't think kids can excel in more than one sport....I was basing it only on the limited number of kids we have in a smaller school.  Heck, I know there are kids with D1 scholly offers in multiple sports...it can happen, just in our case, it's not something we see due to the small numbers.  In my son's case, he knew when he was 6 years old that he wanted to be a baseball player....not a basketball player or football player.  Heck, he was the starting QB on the midget football team as a 4th grader....he was playing all 4 sports at the time.  We/he just decided at some point that it was too much....and was going to limit his ability to put the time needed into baseball.  It worked out for him.....there are obviously no guarantees

Of course they can. My point is that those are the stories that get told -- hey, Allen Iverson was Virginia state player of the year as a junior in both football and basketball -- but you rarely hear about the "jock of all sports, master of none." And they're out there.

That was me at that age  . ..  "jock of all sports, master of none" (that was in ancient days, as my sons remind me).  I had no father, or anyone else for that matter, to help guild me to become really good at any particular sport and now I don't know if I could have ever been "really good" at any one of them.  

Because of my own experience, I liked the idea of my son's playing more than one sport as I feel attributes of one sport tends to enhance skills in another.  But, when I had sons, I decided to help and support them in any particular sport or endeavor they might find of most interest.  And if they demonstrated a particular talent, I was determined to help them achieve the best that they could be.  Only one of my two sons took advantage of my willingness to help him achieve his goals.  And I did encourage him to play other sports and he did up until his sophomore year in HS.  It was at that point he decided to focus just on baseball even though I encouraged him to play at least one other sport during the off season.   Though he excelled at baseball, I still feel his game could have been enhanced by playing some other sport.  But, I don't think playing a LOT of different sports would be helpful if they interfere with the time required to get really good at the sport you're most interested in.

My son (rising 9th grader) plays both baseball and football at a pretty high level. I take the liberty of giving him periodic days off when I think that he needs one. 

For example - he had no legs last night during a scrimmage so I told him to text his coach and tell him that he wouldn't be at football workouts this morning. I value hard work as much as anyone but I am not going to have him run down either. He deserves an occasional break away from sports. 

I agree with the majority - it has to be his decision but you are his dad and I am sure that he values your opinion.