S3
Your son sounds normal to me. Son is 16 and really loves the game. Today, Sunday I asked him if he wanted to take grounders and he said yes. Would he just come out and ask me to go take grounders today. Probaly not. I can't figure it out, but I know that each time I offer something to do with baseball he will jump at it. I don't hold it against him for not initiating and don't think of it has he dose not care about getting better. I am starting to see the light come on as I have offered to take him to several Golden State Warriors basketball games and he said no due to the fact they were on days he works with his trainer. He loves the Warriors. A good sign. Some day he will take over complete responsiblity for his progess, but for now I am glad to offer a gently push. Rest assured if you son loves BB as you say that day will come. Sooner for some, but it will come.
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Originally posted by Tiger Paw Mom:
When my daughter was young we paid for piano lessons and she never practiced, so I pulled the plug, I felt the same as you did. The only difference was I didn't see it the way you did, I never thought that she owed me back anything. That's what confuses me, are you doing this for him or you?
qoute: by S3
My only expectations are that if I'm spending money on lessons and other training, that the money is not wasted. Therefore, I expect the work to be put in. Since he's the one telling me he wants the lessons so he can get better, I expect him to do what is asked of him by his instructor(s).
Like I said before, if he doesn't want it, that's fine. The only benefit I get out of this is knowing that I did everything I could to help my son use and improve the talent he has already exhibited. If he chooses not to apply himself then there's not much I can really do.
S3, I know it's frustrating to spend money and you don't feel there taking advantage of the lessons.
Sometime's it just has to come at there time table, Not your's.
Just keep giving them the love and support they need.
If it's meant to be, They will come around to understand the importance of training with a purpose.
EH
Mom and I sat down with son last night and discussed his baseball along with our committment to him. It was a good talk for all of us. I'm sure mom's presence helped alot in the matter.
Son reaffirmed his desire to improve his skills and acknowledged that training and hard work would be the only way to accomplish that.
We expressed to him that we are behind him 100% with any support he needs but we also told him what our expectations are when it comes to our time and financial outlay. We developed a plan that will limit video games if he does not perform his baseball training and he agreed to the plan realizing that he needs some help to be disciplined with his training routine.
I expressed some of the ideas posted here and again, I appreciate everyone who took the time to comment on this matter.
Strike 3
Son reaffirmed his desire to improve his skills and acknowledged that training and hard work would be the only way to accomplish that.
We expressed to him that we are behind him 100% with any support he needs but we also told him what our expectations are when it comes to our time and financial outlay. We developed a plan that will limit video games if he does not perform his baseball training and he agreed to the plan realizing that he needs some help to be disciplined with his training routine.
I expressed some of the ideas posted here and again, I appreciate everyone who took the time to comment on this matter.
Strike 3
Strike 3. Please remember he is only 14. I know of some good ball players that quit when they got to HS because of well meaning parents. Relating any kind of punishment (accept for grades) such as limiting video games because he didn't work out is wrong. Too much pressure. Keep it fun for him not work. When he gets to HS they will make him work and if he is lucky enough to go on to play in college it will be more work. I've never once brought how much money we paid for lessons, leagues, tournaments, uniforms to my son. I enjoy it and if he plays after HS good for him.
Some schools start practice before school at 5am and then again after. They can't make it mandatory but they know who comes and who doesn't.
I've chased my son outside because when it is nice out that is where he should be. Playing catch, basketball, swimming whatever.
When he got to HS he realized that it was important for him to do things to get better. It came from his peers and his coaches. One coach told him that practice was where you get better not games and that sunk in but not until HS.
Some schools start practice before school at 5am and then again after. They can't make it mandatory but they know who comes and who doesn't.
I've chased my son outside because when it is nice out that is where he should be. Playing catch, basketball, swimming whatever.
When he got to HS he realized that it was important for him to do things to get better. It came from his peers and his coaches. One coach told him that practice was where you get better not games and that sunk in but not until HS.
I agree. When I was still in middle school, baseball was the last thing on my mind until i was actually playing it. When i got into high school i couldnt get enough of it cause when i found out i was not that bad i wanted to get better and that hepled me develop a different love for the game. So your son will find the love for the game when its his time to find it not when you tell him to find it, and you making him work out or he wont be able to play video games, that will just drive him away from the sport that we all love. And i know that is not your intension.
Ive been reading this forum for a couple days and thinking about it. With my son he has had to work hard always to be competitive. He is self driven and if he wasnt i dont know if our relationship could withstand me putting pressure on him, but also I expect good grades, good behavior and we sat him down before high school and laid down the ground work. 3.5 or above, homework time Sunday thru Thursday mandatory study hall and baseball workouts. He works with a trainer, lifts weights sees a hitting coach, but there have been times where I have felt he has taken advantage of what we are doing for him (car, insurance etc)and have had to say step it up a little.when he was a freshmen thru half way thru junior year, there was no video games Sunday after 5 until friday. it just made it easier and less distractions. Now that he is a senior I no longer put limits and have as the last year began let him gradually learn time limits. it is all a learning curve.some times they all go through a little burnout and when that happens (usually late in fall nov-dec)We just let it go. they need down time and time away from baseball also, time to be with their friends etc, its just like i said balance in all areas until they are old enough to find balance ontheir own and each year comes more maturity.Usually after a couple weeks of no games etc. he cant stand it and is out on the porch swinging off his teeor throwing with a friend after school. if the love and dedication is trully there they wont need a lot of pressure.
At a clinic a few years back, Tom House discussed this topic in very personal terms. He said that he had his kids life planned out very preciously to play baseball at a higher level and it didn't take.
His advice now would be to simply ask your son if your goal is to play beyond high school and if so, there are certain things you need to be doing to achieve that goal. His goal, his plan.
Balance is the key. I'd be more worried about a teenager who expressed little or no idependent thought. Children seem to continually move back and forth through the phases of dependence, independence and inter-dependence as they grow up.
His advice now would be to simply ask your son if your goal is to play beyond high school and if so, there are certain things you need to be doing to achieve that goal. His goal, his plan.
Balance is the key. I'd be more worried about a teenager who expressed little or no idependent thought. Children seem to continually move back and forth through the phases of dependence, independence and inter-dependence as they grow up.
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