Need Advice on this situation

I haven't been in this position, and I'm not endorsing any of these particularly (with the exception of #1), but the options I see are as follows:

1. Tell your son to focus on doing his best and continuing to work hard on all aspects within his control.
2. Talk to the coach privately.
3. Talk to the administration.
4. Some combination of the above.
5. Transfer schools.
6. Pull your son out of HS baseball.
7. Do nothing.

Sounds like a pretty difficult situation and I wish you and your son the best of luck!

If it is rec or travel ball change teams, if it is HS bad luck, deal with it.

The same can happen in college or minor league ball too at some point of the baseball ladder you can't choose your coach.

But in youth ball no need to deal with that.

I get the some coaches you don't like, but I do like this coach.  He just needs to make some changes and actually do some coaching!

Have you ever had a coach that was negative all the time? 

 

My 2019 son's freshman's year the head coach had no experience as a varsity baseball coach and he was an assistant football coach.  The issue became that he tried to coach baseball like many coaches coach football, which in my opinion is the wrong approach.  My opinion is that baseball is a game of failure, if you hit 1-4 times at the plate you can make it to the hall of fame.  Errors are so important that they are kept track of on the score board and errors begget errors.  Imagine if a QB only completed 1-4 passes or you only shot 25% from the free throw line, even Shaq was better than that.  So this coach would berate players if they made an error or swung at a bad pitch.  From my experience with the game all this does is get in a players head and create more errors or lose confidence at the plate.  I was in the dugout keeping score and he started in on one of the boys so I made the comment that their lack of fundamentals is from a lack of coaching...he didn't like that and said something to me about not needing to hear negativity.  I told him if he can't take it don't dish it out.  I will say that it changed his demeanor and here's why I think it did...he was a bully.  Unfortunately I think a small contingent of coaches who were outstanding HS athletes but never made it to a level past their competitive ability and transitioned from "THE" player to a pool of players that made them average live their HS years as a bully and thinking they are more superior than anyone else...but that is just my synopsis of being around coaches and seeing the difference between coaches who seek to win in order to puff up their own self worth rather than pour into student athletes in order to make them better men/women, better team mates and better athletes which the byproduct usually results in a winning program. But I digress...

My recommendation, if indeed the bulk of the parents agree, is to have a meeting with the athletic director, principal or director of schools and define what the expectation for coaching staff.  The difficulty will be if this coach has a winning program and if someone is willing to look beyond to define what the goal in winning truly is.  If it is win at all cost, embrace the coach if he has a winning program.  If it is build character and men who will represent the school in their future endeavors, build them up to play beyond HS then you may have a good case for something to change.  

I would approach athletic director specifically with what the job description of the coach is.  What are his job duties?  

Good luck, I know I have been there and now 3 years later I have found myself as the Non-faculty head varsity baseball coach of our team and we have completely turned our program around and in the next 3 years will probably have our first scholarship baseball player at the collegiate level.  

I think the general advice i have seen dispensed on this board is have your kid listen to the coach and then do it his way....or don't hit the top of the ball. If you cannot change the coach, and i don't think that's an option....then you basically ignore the bad advice. Downside is he may sit your kid even if he is productive and that would really suck.

Doc1990,

That's not how coaches are supposed to be. Sounds like he hates his job. Sounds like he knows nothing actually.

If programs are asking for info and he isn't responding, that's a major issue. 

I don't often recommend this, but IMO you have every right to visit the schools AD.

That sounds exactly like the Varsity coach at my son's high school.  Every kid hated playing for him.  Fortunately he resigned last week.  In an ironic case of "be careful what you wish for", in retrospect I'm happy that my son didn't make Varsity as a freshman.  Dodged a bullet there, and I'm hopeful that the new coach will be good.

I don't have any advice, but I can certainly sympathize.  Hang in there!

Assuming this is HS...

Tough spot.  A few things... 

To what extent are you certain that this is an ongoing thing?  To what extent are you certain that the majority feel this way?  I see your son plays other sports... how drastic is the difference between the other coaches and this one?  

I'm trying to determine if this is clear cut and all players and parents involved would be in agreement with the assessment.  If so, then there are probably some courses of action that should be considered.  You said he expects more out of your son.  So, it sounds like your son is one that holds the most respect from him if there is such a thing.  It may be helpful if your son was able to ask for a sit-down with the coach and respectfully express that he feels like his teammates are struggling to perform to their abilities because they feel like they are constantly getting beat down and can't seem to do anything right by their leader, despite efforts.  Respectfully express that they are trying to play hard for him but having a hard time enjoying playing the game because everything is always negative.  If your son feels that this would not go well and put him in a bad spot, then there are other options.  Again, if there is certainty that there is pretty much unanimous opinion on this, a respectful comment to the AD, preferably by a parent that has some decent relationship/dialog with the AD, would be a worthwhile starting point.

With all this said, some of the things you mention suggest that the coach is particularly unhappy with this particular group's overall efforts.  If he is mostly right, then maybe it is the players who need to be making the effort to turn things around.  We are unable to see what is actually happening so hard for us to tell.

To some of your other points...

There are several valid reasons why a coach may not post stats.  Don't sweat this one.  Your son is not going to be recruited or not recruited based on HS stats being posted or not.

"hit the top half" - this is certainly out the window as a a mainstream hit teach but it can be appropriate situationally (hit-and-run, pure speed guy, etc.).  It sounds like your son is interested in continuing his playing days beyond HS.  The more important takeaway is what Dominic alluded to... your son won't necessarily be able to pick his coaches going forward and he is certain to run into instruction that conflicts with what he has had in the past and/or what works best for him.  He will have to learn how to navigate these instances.  My preference is good open communication and working toward best resolution.  Others will suggest differently.  In any case, he will have to love playing enough to be willing to work through these inevitable issues if he wishes to continue on.

Venting here is generally a good idea... much better than inflicting negativity among the other players and parents and/or your own son.  But, again, if you are really confident that the problem is clearly affecting all, I would look into those action steps.

Best to you.

I would just like to caution about getting involved directly and having conversations with coach, asst coaches, or administration if high school.  If in fact coach is a "bully" as was described above a reaction may be as a bully he will take it out on someone weaker, thus possibly your son. I've seen first handed where hc had something against a few ballplayers and buried them on the bench.  Fortunately one never gave up, used a connection to play on a P5 school, started, left after 3 years and is now in minors, all from rarely playing in high school.  Just tread water carefully, unless transferring is a real possibility.

Isn't school out for summer up there? Find him a reputable summer team/ travel team. One that IS interested in promoting players to colleges, and properly teaching the game. 

If a high school coach can drive the love out of the game for a kid he doesn’t have what it takes to play college ball. College ball is so physically and mentally demanding no matter how much a kid loves the game he will have days wondering why he’s committed so much to baseball. It’s when “because I love this game so much and I’ll do anything to stay in the game” better kick in immediately.

Doc1990 posted:

I get the some coaches you don't like, but I do like this coach.  He just needs to make some changes and actually do some coaching!

Have you ever had a coach that was negative all the time? 

 

Yep. And it can be very difficult.  We had it for 4 years in HS. You have to really love the game to be there. As a player and parent, you can learn a lot from this situation. It makes you stronger, teaches you how NOT to act, for example. Stay positive and try to laugh about it with your son. And yes I really do understand!

One time a college coach called this particular HS coach about a player. His response “I didn’t know Chuck wanted to play college ball”. 

Try not to worry about what you can’t control. College coaches learn who they can trust, and our coach, well, not so much. 

Happened to local Private HS last 3 years. Legendary  44 yr, 800 win coach. He's at the point where he just does menial coaching. His son does 99 % of the coaching. 2 boys playing for Carolina dont speak to him. Entire senior class of 2017 didnt go out for team senior year. This years seniors went to 19-2 and he was "off the rails" & " out of his mind " they completely stopped talking to the staff and tanked 3 straight games ending the season. Coaches from Duke, Penn State and Darmouth , St. Josephs have all been treated like garbage. Elon commit transferred just before season. His father told me that the coach was calling and bashing his son daily months before season started. A hard coach whos trying to bring out the best in a boy is one thing, but a bad coach who's really an ass and doesnt promote or praise his teams efforts will never get the best out of the boys.  play summer ball. Get the bad taste out of your mouth. Seriously think of transferring. This coach will not help in recruiting. Neither will your travel team either really. Its up to you & your son to get your names on radars and your son in front of  targeted coaches. Theres a lot of talented players wanting finite spots. There is no room for being shy, timid. If  he wants something, tell him to 1000%. Dont worry, a coach will tell you when its time to stop. Best of luck.

Ok, for a minute there I thought you where talking about my kid's old coach.  For two years, he had a very "negative" coach.  You strike out, he was on you.  Made a mistake, you heard about it.  It was certainly hard to watch at time.  HOWEVER, at the the same time he was BY FAR the best coach my kid had in baseball.  Practices where intense but they actually learned something and became better players (so much so that my kid was showing the HS infielders how to properly field because the HS coach was clueless).  Now my kid needs a good kick in the rear sometimes -- he doesn't do well with today warm fuzzy smilely face coaches.  

So my advice, really look at the situation.  Is it all negative, or is there some positive?  The positive usually happens "out of sight" unfortunately.  Is he learning to be a better player?  Or is the guy just a clueless dork?  Then you need to decide.  Good luck.  

Well practices are not intense. He usually mows the grass. There is no coaching going on period. Kids wear shorts nor shirts at practices. There is no positivity out of sight either.