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A few of you have asked for an update on my youngest son.  Thanks for asking.  I'll give some background first...

As a HS coach, I have seen quite a few of our players take logical and predictable paths into and through college baseball.  He isn't one of them.  There is a recommended way to approach the recruiting and school selection process.  Then there is his way.

As we speak, he is driving across the country, hitting several ballparks along the way (at Wrigley for the Cubs/Halos tonight), on his way to play his senior year at his 4th school in 5 years.  Has he moved around so much because of problems with the coach, school, teammates or program?  Nope.  Because he is a problem kid?  Nope.

1st year - Strong California JC, made the team as on OF, suffered significant injury late fall, reconstructive wrist surgery (non-throwing hand), out for the year, told he would likely never hit again.  So, he decides he'll come back as a LHP at another school that has that need.  Off to school #2.

2nd Year- Second strong Cal. JC, he ignores the doctors and starts hitting anyway.  Decides he'd rather be a position player than a P.  But this team is loaded with good returning OF's, one to be drafted.  Eventually gets a break and works his way into a starting role.  Does well, high BA, high OBP, strong defense, then OF collision, concussion, misses the end of the year but finishes with good numbers.

3rd Year - Same JC, has a great year, all-conference.  Has some nice NAIA offers with enough love to feel good about.  Nope, he chooses to accept a preferred walk-on offer at a big D2.

4th Year - Big Cal. D2.  Starts the fall 9th on the OF depth chart (out of 9), climbs, MVP of Fall Series, earns a roster spot and significant early PT.  After a few weeks, he starts hitting everything right at guys- the hits stop falling.  His first ever lengthy slump.  He was still called on defensively, for situational hitting and running.  But, in the end, he just didn't have the numbers.  The coach has three returning all-conference OF's and a strong recruiting class coming.  Coach likes him but told him he had other plans for building young depth in the program going forward.  Knowing son wants to eventually get into coaching, he offered him a spot as an assistant on the staff.  OK, sweet.  Nope.  He still has a year of eligibility and, I guess, a fire still burnin'.

5th Year - He connected with one of the NAIA's that had offered the year before.  He'll be moving across the country, from the most liberal big city in the U.S. to a tiny conservative town.  Yup, his way.  One more time.

I do have to send a big shout-out to our HSBBW member, Picked Off.   As many of you know, our sons roomed last year and became good friends.  Picked Off and his wife went way beyond in being surrogate parents to my son and the other roommates.  Also, we have had the privilege of spending time with them and becoming good friends as well.  I hope we can stay connected and remain friends for years to come.

Through it all, it's been a blast and I can't wait to see what this year brings.

 

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Is baseball more important than college to your son even if he knows it's over after college? Are you just looking for him to get a degree no matter how he goes about it due to his attitude towards college? Or is there another angle here? Every story is different. This is a different one than I'm typically familiar.

Taking the tried and true path isn't for everyone. The other paths are usually more difficult and less efficient, but they can also teach important lessons. If your son has managed to work through the admissions (and transfer) process at 4 different schools, he's already earned some kind of honorary degree in my book. All the best to him.

I would hire him! I have never met him. I have never talked to him. I have never talked to anyone who ever has. All I know is a kid with that type of perseverance, drive, determination, is someone I would want to work with. Good luck to your son. I have no doubt that no matter how the coming season goes he will be just fine.

Coach_May posted:

I would hire him! I have never met him. I have never talked to him. I have never talked to anyone who ever has. All I know is a kid with that type of perseverance, drive, determination, is someone I would want to work with. Good luck to your son. I have no doubt that no matter how the coming season goes he will be just fine.

hire him to do what?

Thanks for the positive thoughts Coach May and Mid.  Valid points and questions, RJM and Old School.  Thus the "different drummer" title.

In our home, we semi-jokingly had two top-level requirements of our kids as they were growing up.  Be good people and get a 4-yr degree.  All three were A-B students but each had completely different motivators and different effort levels to get to A-B.

 The oldest is in his final year of grad school, the middle has become a bit of a self-supported world traveler and has a definitive, albeit lengthy path toward nursing.  All three have earned their badges as "good people" and for that, we are most proud.  Regarding the youngest, his motivation has always been competition and sport.  As much as we advised and guided to seek out other interest and put emphasis on schooling from a 40 year perspective instead of 4, that just isn't the way he is (or at least, was) wired.   Most of his iterations of career interest involved sport - coach at the college level, open a sports facility, work for a professional sports organization in various capacities, open a sports bar, etc.  He has a very difficult time getting motivated by school, particularly general ed classes.  He is very capable and the motivation of eligibility to play has been more than sufficient.  Even with all the movement, he has maintained the 3.0 - 3.5 GPA.  During most of his college time, he has also held down jobs, so he has balanced school, studies, baseball and work successfully.  His bosses regularly express appreciation for his steady efforts, as do his coaches.  So, yes, RJM... baseball has been a significant motivator toward getting the degree and that is ultimately important to the parents.  Through that process, he has learned a lot about the importance of finishing his education with or without baseball but the game has sure helped him get to that point.

He left me a text last night about having a great experience at the Cubs game.  I was expecting to hear that he ran into a bunch of college locals and they had a great time at the game and maybe at one of the Cub bars afterward.  This morning, he told me that, in a packed house, his seat ended up being next to an 85 y.o. lady who had been going to Cubs games for sixty years and had some amazing stories.

I would certainly never recommend his path to anyone.  But I'm proud of the way he has traveled it.  

 

Last edited by cabbagedad
old_school posted:
Coach_May posted:

I would hire him! I have never met him. I have never talked to him. I have never talked to anyone who ever has. All I know is a kid with that type of perseverance, drive, determination, is someone I would want to work with. Good luck to your son. I have no doubt that no matter how the coming season goes he will be just fine.

hire him to do what?

Remove stumps, of course (inside joke for old timers here).

Thank you for sharing. Reading the story and description of your son, I could tell that you are immensely proud of him and you have much to be proud of. Education comes in so many more forms that just a formal degree, even though it sounds like he is motivated to get that as well. The intangible skills he has developed (seriously, 4 admissions and financial aid processes?), along with the tenacious perseverance he has shown will serve him well in life. Especially if he is looking at a sports related career. From everything I have learned, that isn't an easy career path and I'm sure the many contacts he's made throughout this journey will serve him well.

Good luck to him this season and go Cubs!

It sure would be awesome if our kids did it exactly like we did. You know follow that path in a straight line from start to finish. No deviations. Do bumps in the road. Here it is son this is the way to go. Thanks Dad. And there they go straight to the goal no problem. Well let me just admit I surely didn't do that. I was in my mid 30's before I really truly appreciated what my parents were trying to do when I was younger. Give me direction and show me the path. But I didn't see it that way. I wanted my own path and I wanted to do it my way. Yes that gave me a few bruises and a few bumps. I am sure it gave my parents more than a few head aches as well. But I wouldn't trade that journey for anything. Those bumps and bruises made me who I am. Those scars are mine I earned them.

My oldest son played football. With my wife's plan from Duke Med Center and the money his school gave him his college was paid for. We had it all planned out from birth. Our kids were going to college. They were going to get a great college education. They were going to do this and do that and like this and like that. One night I got a knock at the back door. It was my son. "Dad it's not my dream it's your dream. But it's my life not yours." He was home and had left school. My wife was devastated. I was disappointed and angry. He told me he liked football but not enough to go to college to do it. He told me college was not for him. So I did the tough love thing. "OK boy but your not sitting around here on your a__. Your going to work and earn your keep." My wife wouldn't give up on school. She forced him to go to a local community college in the hopes he would eventually work his way back to college and get that degree.

So he drops out after 3 weeks of hardly going to class. I then tell him. "Get a job or get out of my house. You don't want to go to school? Ok fine. If that's the case then you are going to work and see what this thing is all about without having a higher education." So I call an old friend who happens to be the Sheriff of Durham County. My son is excited about joining the Dept. Fast forward a couple of years. I am at a showcase scouting players. My wife calls me. Did you know our son is getting married today? What! Yes he is on his way to the Magistrates Office to get married to a girl he has been dating for a few weeks. Her brother went to the Academy with him. By the time I can figure out what is going on he is married at the Court House.

Fast forward a couple of more years. He is a Sergeant on the local Police Department. He comes by the house. "Dad I am quitting my job. I don't enjoy it. I don't like the politics of Law Enforcement. It's not what I want to do with my life." Well what are you going to do son? "I am starting my own business. I got a plan and I am going to make it work." Well what do you say to a man who simply does it his way? "Go for it son I got your back!" Fast forward a couple of more years. He owns his own Hard Scapes Company. He builds outdoor patio's, kitchens and fireplaces. He is thriving and making some serious money. He is so happy. I have two beautiful grand daughters that are the love of my life. My Daughter in Law is awesome. A sweet, kind person who is a wonderful mother and wife. My son is the type of man who calls me out of the blue and says "Hey Dad what you doing today? Ok I will be right over and help you cut down those trees." He shows up and goes to work. Or I come home from a weekend scouting games to find my grass cut and my trash hauled off. Yeah he's a stud without a college degree.

Was this my plan? Was this what I wanted for my oldest son? What happened to my dreams for my kid? It was never my life. He has been loaned to me by God. God had a better plan. One that I could have never scripted. All I ever really wanted was for my son to be happy and do something for a living he enjoyed and had a passion for. Well I couldn't do that for him. He had to figure that out on his own. I write this simply to say I think it's great that we push our kids and help direct their path. That we raise them and instill good values and strong work ethic. But in the end it is their life and their path they will take. They need to know that no matter what they do we love them and we will support them. And we are proud of them. He's a better man than I have ever been or ever will be. He has a degree in determination, toughness, integrity and being his own man. I happen to think we could use a little more of that in this world. Good luck to your son Cabbage. I run a logistics company along with my baseball "habit." If he ever needs a job call me. He could teach my employees a little something about grinding.

 

cabbagedad posted:

........................................ 

There is a recommended way to approach the recruiting and school selection process.  Then there is his way.

...............................

 

Awesome post cabbagedad.  This website is great for recommendations.  Your post is a great reminder that there are young men out there who like to do things differently.  There is no one way. 

No doubt there were some interesting discussions at your dinner table when he was going through the recruiting process.  I can certainly relate.   A tip of the cap to your son and his journey. 

Swampboy posted:
old_school posted:
Coach_May posted:

I would hire him! I have never met him. I have never talked to him. I have never talked to anyone who ever has. All I know is a kid with that type of perseverance, drive, determination, is someone I would want to work with. Good luck to your son. I have no doubt that no matter how the coming season goes he will be just fine.

hire him to do what?

Remove stumps, of course (inside joke for old timers here).

C'mon!!! Let us newbies in on it! PM if you have to!

Last edited by smokeminside

Great story Cabbage with some equally great color from COACH_MAY!

The path's our kids take are not usually what we had "planned" for them. Very few college baseball players go to their dream school, start playing right away, and finish off at the CWS. The path is difficult and laden with all kinds of pot holes, which makes them better human's IMO. (as well as employees OLD_SCHOOL) 

Congrats to the interesting start to his life's journey! Love it. 

Last edited by BOF
Coach_May posted:

It sure would be awesome if our kids did it exactly like we did. You know follow that path in a straight line from start to finish. No deviations. Do bumps in the road. Here it is son this is the way to go. Thanks Dad. And there they go straight to the goal no problem. Well let me just admit I surely didn't do that. I was in my mid 30's before I really truly appreciated what my parents were trying to do when I was younger. Give me direction and show me the path. But I didn't see it that way. I wanted my own path and I wanted to do it my way. Yes that gave me a few bruises and a few bumps. I am sure it gave my parents more than a few head aches as well. But I wouldn't trade that journey for anything. Those bumps and bruises made me who I am. Those scars are mine I earned them.

My oldest son played football. With my wife's plan from Duke Med Center and the money his school gave him his college was paid for. We had it all planned out from birth. Our kids were going to college. They were going to get a great college education. They were going to do this and do that and like this and like that. One night I got a knock at the back door. It was my son. "Dad it's not my dream it's your dream. But it's my life not yours." He was home and had left school. My wife was devastated. I was disappointed and angry. He told me he liked football but not enough to go to college to do it. He told me college was not for him. So I did the tough love thing. "OK boy but your not sitting around here on your a__. Your going to work and earn your keep." My wife wouldn't give up on school. She forced him to go to a local community college in the hopes he would eventually work his way back to college and get that degree.

So he drops out after 3 weeks of hardly going to class. I then tell him. "Get a job or get out of my house. You don't want to go to school? Ok fine. If that's the case then you are going to work and see what this thing is all about without having a higher education." So I call an old friend who happens to be the Sheriff of Durham County. My son is excited about joining the Dept. Fast forward a couple of years. I am at a showcase scouting players. My wife calls me. Did you know our son is getting married today? What! Yes he is on his way to the Magistrates Office to get married to a girl he has been dating for a few weeks. Her brother went to the Academy with him. By the time I can figure out what is going on he is married at the Court House.

Fast forward a couple of more years. He is a Sergeant on the local Police Department. He comes by the house. "Dad I am quitting my job. I don't enjoy it. I don't like the politics of Law Enforcement. It's not what I want to do with my life." Well what are you going to do son? "I am starting my own business. I got a plan and I am going to make it work." Well what do you say to a man who simply does it his way? "Go for it son I got your back!" Fast forward a couple of more years. He owns his own Hard Scapes Company. He builds outdoor patio's, kitchens and fireplaces. He is thriving and making some serious money. He is so happy. I have two beautiful grand daughters that are the love of my life. My Daughter in Law is awesome. A sweet, kind person who is a wonderful mother and wife. My son is the type of man who calls me out of the blue and says "Hey Dad what you doing today? Ok I will be right over and help you cut down those trees." He shows up and goes to work. Or I come home from a weekend scouting games to find my grass cut and my trash hauled off. Yeah he's a stud without a college degree.

Was this my plan? Was this what I wanted for my oldest son? What happened to my dreams for my kid? It was never my life. He has been loaned to me by God. God had a better plan. One that I could have never scripted. All I ever really wanted was for my son to be happy and do something for a living he enjoyed and had a passion for. Well I couldn't do that for him. He had to figure that out on his own. I write this simply to say I think it's great that we push our kids and help direct their path. That we raise them and instill good values and strong work ethic. But in the end it is their life and their path they will take. They need to know that no matter what they do we love them and we will support them. And we are proud of them. He's a better man than I have ever been or ever will be. He has a degree in determination, toughness, integrity and being his own man. I happen to think we could use a little more of that in this world. Good luck to your son Cabbage. I run a logistics company along with my baseball "habit." If he ever needs a job call me. He could teach my employees a little something about grinding.

 

At a President's Club we had a speaker who said it bothers him when he hears successful people say "I should have done this" or " should have done that." Then he followed with something very profound. He said, "As long as you didn't harm anyone along the way what does it matter how you got there if you're happy now? Getting banged up along the way probably made you tougher and more successful."

fenwaysouth posted:
cabbagedad posted:

........................................ 

There is a recommended way to approach the recruiting and school selection process.  Then there is his way.

...............................

 

...

No doubt there were some interesting discussions at your dinner table when he was going through the recruiting process.  ...

Fenway, oh yes... all four times 

 

Coach May, great post.  I suspect we could have a lot of fun sharing kid stories.

I can assure you Cabbage will know about your job offer.  You have helped me better communicate important messages with him over the years and it would be a privilege for him to work under your guidance.  Funny, when he and I were discussing the big culture differences he was about to experience, I mentioned that I thought that, with his values, personality and interests, I could see him ending up somewhere in the NC region. 

smokeminside posted:
fenwaysouth posted:

O.  M.  G.

Thanks so much for the link!  What an amazingly beautiful story.

Thanks so much!  Oh, I said that already.

Smoke, I am so glad you asked for the inside story... I forgot just how good that one is. 

EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!   

Just a quick follow up...  the saga continues...

So, son had his first day of school today and first baseball meeting tonight.  All of his dialog with the school this summer has been with the RC.  Lots of texts.  Lots of phone conversations.  Even with help finding a house to rent and lining up a roommate.  One of the first agenda points in the meeting.... RC is leaving the program for another school - Monday.  Of course he is

The first couple times down the isle, son would have probably freaked out a bit.  This time, he just took it in stride. 

He did say he had a GREAT first day of school.  Because when he got home, there was a care package from the Picked Off family with cookies and a gift card.  That was unbelievably thoughtful, PO.

Last edited by cabbagedad
coach2709 posted:

Any day that ends with cookies can never be considered a bad day

Amen to that, Coach2709!  ... a way of life I still hold dear to my heart.

You'll have to let me know where in NC you are... son's new school makes a few trips there this Spring.  BTW, how is the coach job search going?  I know of an NAIA school in WV with a very recent opening   

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