Now what do we do

I don't blame you for being upset. I think coaches ought to call and deliver the bad news but most of the time they don't. When my son had made his mind up, I insisted he call and let those know who were recruiting him. I suggest you do the same if the shoe is on the other foot.

1) Do not feel sorry for yourself
2) Take the bull by the horns
3) Use the snub for motivation to guarantee that your son can experience his dream
4) Get to work

How would I go about it?

I would start at the bottom and work my way up from there. Perhaps call all the juco coaches in the area/region (e.g., 50 or 100 mile radius). See if you can generate some interest. Certainly call every school at any level that has ever shown any interest in the past. Start establishing realtionships with the respective coaches. Work day and night until you can find one offer to play. When you have one offer, then you have a base from which to work from. From that base, you can continue to expand your search and perhaps expand your horizons. Each coach you talk to, ask if they are aware of any other coaches who might have a need for your son's position. Let any baseball person that you talk to know of your son's desire to play at the next level. Imagine all these things and put it into action and I can almost guarantee something good will happen. The most important part is to be proactive. As you have seen, waiting for the phone to ring is the worst of all possible strategies. There are literally hundreds and hundreds of things you can proactively do if you put your mind to it.

After you interview for a job does the company call you tell you that you did not get the job ?

Very rarely !!

trhit, you are right a company doesn't tell you you don't have the job. But they also don't tell you you do and then take it away. I am sure my son will end up playing somewhere else if he really works at it now. I just find this behavior disrespectful.

CA


Telling a prospect that "they want him" does not mean he got the spot---thus they cannot take it away


There is a breakdown here, on whose part I am not sure

CA, TR is usually a bit grouchy (he is pretty straight though).


The same thing happend to my son a few times. Calls, calls, calls, letters, letters, letters more calls and then silence.

We got used to it and stopped taking it personally although I have to be honest it felt a bit like being on a rollercoaster. Great highs then low lows.

Once our travel ball coach told my son that his number one school was going to call with an offer "today"... kid sat by the phone all day. Nothing. Call never came. (Coach did not lie, school just went another way). Schools will have 4 or 5 kids on the board. They really want all of them but maybe in the end they could only afford 3.

Just understand that your son needs to keep up in the classroom, play hard on the field and if he does both well he will have someplace to play next season.

We always say in our house if you make 100% of the effort you can always live with the result.

Keep making the effort.

playfair

It is not grouchy, it is called being honest and upfront with no sugar coating and yes I am pretty straight with my answers---always have been even in the real world---you can like it or not but it is what it is


MAy I ask where Sugar Mountain is located---is that in Candy Land?

Thanks for all the suggestions. I didn't take Tr as grouchy. I understand that situations change and that the coach probably found someone else. I just think its common decency that after you have had a kid come and do a tryout,tell him you want him on the team, tell him to apply to the college, and what dollars you can offer. After doing all that and continuing to talk to the kid and tell him what you will expect from him when he is on the team. I believe common decency would be to phone the kid and tell him you have changed your mind or found someone else. It is just frustrating that what we consider to be common decency in our everyday life does not apply to this process

If you so desire call me ---I may know a school looking for players but I need more info

Tom Rizzi
860-645-9854

Well first let me say I too sometimes think TRHit is grumpy and sometimes rude. However he is a straight shooter with good info. You must be able to wade through some of his "Holier than thou" stuff to get the good info.

Was the Candyland question a feeble attempt at humor???

I digress....Has your son called the coach? If you have been told to apply as well as given a dollar amount that you would be offered, I think there should be a conversation taking place with the coach.

He may not tell your son what he wants to hear, but at least you can put the situation to rest and move on.

To answer your question. Yes my son has called and e-mailed the coach many times. The coach never returned the calls or e-mails. So we took the hint and figured it was time to move on. I just think he should have been given an explanation.

CA

I would not worry about it since you cannot do a thing about it and your son may still get a call---did your son apply and get accepted academically at this school ?

I failed to read where TRhit came off as grumpy. This is how the world works and the young man is learning a good lesson here. It's how they grow up and toughen up to reality.

zomby

you have a PM

Yes my son did get accepted academically. And as for the comment that this is how the world works I totally disagree. In my world you return phone calls or e-mails. And if I change my mind about something I have the decency to let the other person know. But this is not really the place to discuss common decency. I didn't take anything Tr said as grumpy. He made a comment and suggestions. I have no problem with that

Sugar Mountain is in North Carolina, nice place really.

TR, I was kidding. Just toying with you, sorry if it did not come across in the writing.

Sugar Mountain is just a favorite Neil Young song.

I live in So Cal.

CA, move on from the school. Dont take it personal. Just make another plan and work it. Junior colleges are not a bad option. They are cheap and if you live in the sunshine state then there are some good ones around.

Saddleback, Orange Coast College (their coach Altobelli is a total class act), Santa Ana, Riverside Community... I could go on. Start working those.

quote:

Originally posted by CA:
Yes my son did get accepted academically. And as for the comment that this is how the world works I totally disagree. In my world you return phone calls or e-mails. And if I change my mind about something I have the decency to let the other person know. But this is not really the place to discuss common decency. I didn't take anything Tr said as grumpy. He made a comment and suggestions. I have no problem with that

Common decency..Yes.. I agree with that. If a coach, employer or whoever it may be can't take the time to make a call whether it be an update or a follow up call, perhaps that says something about their character. However, kids will have to learn that not everybody does the right thing and the best thing for them to learn is that's the way it goes. They'll see it for what it is and move on. We don't want our kids going down the tank because of a few disappointments along the way.

We try and teach out kids to do the right things as adults and hopefully after all the screwy things they do as teens and even young adults, they do take their good traits and mannerisms passed on to them and do the right things.

I thought I would update everyone who gave me advice. My son took the advice and contacted some other coaches. things are looking good again. Also now that our HS season has started other coaches have been calling. He plays for a good high school team and a number of college coaches and assistants attend our games. Thanks everyone for the advice. It looks like all is not lost. Even though I still believe alot of these coaches need a lesson in common decency. Thanks again

CA, glad to hear things are moving again. I think you learned enough from the pros on this site to be able to weed through the window shoppers. Best wishes for your sons future.

How about this one? We were in New York on vacation for a few days during the summer and stopped by a school in NY to visit a coach he had played for at a camp. Even though we had set up the day in advance and had e-mailed the time we'd be there the coach wasn't there. He wasn't being recruited by the school and we got to see a part of the City we probably wouldn't have seen much of otherwise so it was no big deal, but it was still annoying.

As far as I can tell coaches stopping contact without saying anything in advance is pretty much common practice. Generally speaking they are contacting a lot of kids and telling a kid that they aren't interested is like telling someone they are being fired. It isn't easy for the person doing the firing either if they are a normal human being. It also leaves the door open for them if things don't work out elsewhere and they decide to go back after that player later.

It is and will always be a numbers game. Ideally a player will have enough ability and exposure to generate recruiting activity (phone calls and emails) from multiple schools. That will filter down to hopefully more than one offer to consider.

It is unusual to hear directly that you are no longer being recruited and bittersweet, but it appreciated, when it happens. It is always good form to tell schools that they will not be coaching you, when you know who will.