OBSERVATION

TR,

I think that is because many of the people who post their thoughts here are parents.

PG

I think it goes deeper than that---they never express what the boy wants---look at the posts--too masny me and I statements

TRhit,

What you say is true but if my sons want to give their thoughts on the various subjects we discuss, they are welcome to post themselves. Every now and then I'll state something like "My son said" or my son realized ..." and in those statements I paraphrase what he said. For the most part, the thoughts I express here are my own-good or bad, agreeable or disagreeable. Some things they tell me, on the subject of college BB I do not share on a message board of course. I don't know if parents expressing their thoughts here has to do with players leaving a school in freshman year. I think many of us use this site as a sounding board, sometimes not hearing what we want to hear in the process. But it's a good topic for discussion.

I can only speak for myself considering I'm new here. I expressed both my sons desire and my own(wife, grandparents included), but it does not surprise me that parents give their own perspective. For instance many kids HS age have no real clue other than they want to go pro, or go to a top D1 to compete for the CWS. In my sons case he gave me a list of the who's who of the top 25 D1 programs. Based on where he is at now, he is not likely to get offers or make those teams from most everyone who has said who offered an opinion.
So I think most parents give a more realistic assessment of what they think is real vs. what is fantasy. That combined with many of them footing the bill, they certainly need to consider things their kids might not even think about.

I think being given a realistic assessment of their future role during the "exit" interview may play a bit bigger role in why many players leave after their freshman year of college. The new transfer rules may also play a role.

Some kids would actually rather play baseball in college than sit on the bench for a championship team. Some of them don't find that out until after they've gone through their freshman season.

Good point CADad.

One of my sons best friends had an excellent exit interview with it appearing he would have a good shot at a starting middle infield position but he just up and quit. He was a long way from home and may have just decided to go back closer to home. Still it really disappointed his friends.

TR's Quote
Much is what the parents want and no mention of what the player wants.

Can this be a huge contributing factor to why players leave a school in the freshman year?
____________________________________________________

Most players want DI. Unfortunately most players aren't DI and it takes a parents' perspective to give the player a reality check. My son wants to play baseball at the next level, interest is from DII, so we agree that this is a great opportunity to play and get a great education.

I do believe that many good players go DI, and find that it is hard to be the small fish in the big pond when they were used to being the big fish.

The game is different when you are competing against people who are as good as you are.......and this is just for the spots on your own team.

For many D1 athletes, this is the first time they are facing that level of competition on a daily basis.

quote:

Originally posted by Vector:
For instance many kids HS age have no real clue other than they want to go pro, or go to a top D1 to compete for the CWS.

I agree and parents really don't understand it all either. It's a natural occurance.

But they sure do understand here once they post a question here.

I remember when we (all of us) first began thinking of where son might want to go to school, his answer was whoever will give me the most is where I will go. Although he got a great scholarship, if he had gone to where he would get the most scholarship money, he wouldn't have been happy.

It's ok for your player to want to go to a program that may make it to Omaha. Or go pro out of HS. It's ok for you to want that too. But it's our job to educate parents here so they in turn can do the same for their players and seriously consider all options.

The D1 program is just not right for everyone.

While not all of the parents I've ever been around are like this, I have come across a number of parents who essentially drag their kids to hitting facilities and baseball practice. The best is when the parent drags a kid up to you to get your advice, and the parent is the only one listening... Many of these kids who are dragged around do have talent (maybe a result of all the practices/lessons they're dragged to?), and so they do make it to the next level. But college is a different animal than high school. Mom and Dad can't get you out of bed for morning practice. If you don't have the desire, you're not going to last long.

Another thought on the leaving after Freshman year phenomenon: A lot of players just don't like college baseball. Many players don't have positive experiences with college baseball programs. I know a lot of talented players who quit because of a coach, etc. Or, maybe college ball is just a let down. You spend so much time and effort in high school trying to "make it" and then when you finally get there, some expect to just cruise... only to find that college demands even more work and dedication.

quote:

Originally posted by TPM:
his answer was whoever will give me the most is where I will go. Although he got a great scholarship, if he had gone to where he would get the most scholarship money, he wouldn't have been happy.

.

When I think back to when I was in HS, I had dreams of being a pro, but college was a must from my parents point of view. Though I pitched in HS, my main sport was basketball and I had interest from several prominent schools. I took the same attitude you describe about "whoever gives me the most money". So when a top D1 in a depraved city was talking, I was seriously considering going to that God forsaken place. It would have been a horrible decision on many levels. It was so bad my father needed to jolt me back into reality offering to pay for any other college no matter how much it cost if they would accept me academically. This coming from a man who was middle income blue collar, yet I still had my head in the clouds. So looking back it is easy to see how parents have a much better perspective than most kids when it comes to making the right choice.

A good reminder.

I share much of what I see here with my son so he can be in touch with reality. Two things I shared with my son recently: the description of the fall workout schedule of a D-I player, and Coach May's 11 Rules of Baseball.

So much of this game is mental and once the pressures of college, living away from home (sometimes a plane ticket away) can really break a young man down.
As we begin to look at colleges that have interest in my son, we try to take size of school, location, travel time, city/rural setting..etc....not just baseball program, and not just academics..whether he makes it, only time will tell.

quote:

So much of this game is mental

I really believe 99% is mental.

How do you overcome an injury, rehab,and still have to be at all team functions? (Mental)

How do you walk on the field with 45 guys in the fall and say to your self I will win a starting position if I have to work ten times harder than the next guy. (Mental)

How do you live away from home in a dorm with constant noise and distractions, 6am wake ups for workouts, classes, baseball, study hall, and extra time in the cages just because you want an edge? (Mental)

Yes you have to have skill, well guess what every single one of those 45 guys in the fall have that.

There is an old saying in this game.

The difference in who makes it and who does not make it rarely has to do with the ability of the players competing against each other. Most of the time it simply comes down to one player thinks he can. And the other player knows he will.

There reaches a point in ability where the difference is very small. In hs the difference in ability varies greatly. The best players are simply way better than the players they are competing against for playing time. In college the difference is much smaller. Sometimes it is so small that things that have nothing to do with actually playing the game can be the difference.

As an old pro once told me. "I was just as good as several of the guys that got called up and made the show. The difference was they believed they belonged in the show. And I thought I did."

Well said Coach May. We have seen several good players who started at D1 who transferred to JC. Some did so because of grades, others due to lack of playing time. Now that Pop up has a year of JC ball with good grades, he is getting looks by D1 schools.

His coach works hard to get everyone of his players on to the four year schools, that is the difference between college and HS ball. I can't say enough about how happy we are with this school and the one man who believed in Pop Up.

TR: to add on to what Coach May has said IMO the only thing the kid needs to bring to the table is a love for the game... once you reach a certain level.

My job as a parent is to guide him into making a good decision based on my 50 years on this planet and a lifetime of learning from my experiences and mistakes.. something jr couldn't possibly possess.

I think you are all missing my point---what I am saying is that many parents are saying "I" want him to go to college so and so---I am not against being involved, and Lord knows that I was deeply involved in my guys process--- and are directing their guidance in that direction

Of course most of us want our children to go to college,doesn't economic facts back up the benefits?
I'm sure even Bryce Harper's folks wanted him to complete college, but for 6 million up front it can wait now.

Most parents realize if a HS student isn't college material; they may be better off in the trades or military. I certainly would never push our son into college if he didn't want to go. At age 18 your ability to influence children is very limited. He knows if he wants to play baseball after HS, college is the only avenue. For some its baseball, others its to start a good career. Our son is still hoping for MLB to come calling but he does have a plan B.

POP UP

You again have missed the point I make---I am talking about kids wanting to play college ball---I am talking about parents wanting the boy to attend the college that mom or dad wants.

I hear it too often--"I" want him to go to college "so and so"

TR...I just assumed most people posting here were like me in the sense that their boys have expressed the desire to play at a higher level than HS and they are doing all they can to help them live that dream.

1baseballdad

True but that should not include "I WANT"

Too many kids tell me that DAD wants me to go to so and so school==where does the kids want to go? Does that not matter

quote:

Originally posted by TRhit:
1baseballdad

True but that should not include "I WANT"

Too many kids tell me that DAD wants me to go to so and so school==where does the kids want to go? Does that not matter

I think what I and others are saying is that it matters, but to what degree is the question. If a parent has a kid who is wise beyond his years, then yes, it should matter a lot. However if the kid (despite being good and smart) has his heads in the clouds, it is up to the parents to help him see a more realistic picture.
I suspect the parents you are speaking of are the ones who single out a particular school based on their own desires, and try to force it on their kids without regard to whether it would be a good fit.
`

Tr - Excellent question to provoke our thoughts. I struggled with this question when my son graduated HS.
Son was heavily scouted in HS and had the opportunity to attend several pro workouts. He stated he had a desire to go pro and had a good opportunity to do so; (rated 5 thu 10 round if he would sign); however, mom and dad felt he needed some college first and he relented and went D1. Terrible experience!
Now at a JUCO, he is once again getting a lot of exposure from the scouts; however, mon and dad fully agree, this time it will be his decision. We are hopeful he will be successful in this year's draft and we have expressed our desire for him to follow his heart, mind, and dream. I would be willing to bet he makes the best decision for himself this time. He already knows the $$$ it will take and the consequences of his decision. Now we have the opportunity to trust his judgment and give him "unconditional love and support".

Clint

My guys attended D-I and D-III programs---the D-1 player decided on New Mexico State because they wanted him--he was the only frosh outfielder they brought in and they told him that up front--He had a great 5 years, he redshirted in his frosh year and the coaches allowed him to make the decision regarding the redshirt-the others went D-III and had great experiences in doing do

What makes me feel so good about what the boys did is that they still have relationships with their college coaches as do I even though they may be in different locations now and the boys have their degrees and fruitful employment

TRhit is spot on. But I'm not sure most parents of today's generation know any better. We've all raised our kids as helicopter parents, hovering often, and sometimes the blades hit the ground when we hover too close.

But its hard to argue that a 'good' parent should not do the research and make the options available. Having said that, unless your guy is waking up at dawn and practicing because HE wants to advance, then you need to back off to some extent. Otherwise, you are just setting him up to fail, or just may not do it because of some ingrained teenage rebellion thoughts.

As hard as it is, the parent needs to continually ask, "Am I doing this because I think it would be cool for him to play, or because it is what HE wants to do".

Just be extra sure that calls and notes to coaches come from the player and not the parent. If the player won't make that effort, then he's not going to make it through four years of independence.

All IMHO of course.

When my son had to decide between several offers, I actually told him that he didn't have to take the best monetary offer, just go where he felt the best fit. He could have been within two or three hours of home and the best monetary offers was 5 hours away. But he chose the place where he felt the best fit for his goals and left the state and is eleven hours away where I will probably only see him play two or three times a year. But I wanted him to make his own decision as a young adult whose judgement we trusted. So far so good.