Offer/Visit Advice

We had a similar situation and we reached out to the other school in a very straightforward manner and they were thankful. It resulted in an offer from them too. We also asked the first school for a little more time (1 week as I recall) and got it.  And there was a 3rd school that couldn't decide and we openly engaged them as well.

 

But each situation is different and that doesn't mean you will get the same reactions. Still, I just think being upfront is the best way to go. 

 

Our son ended up at the first school and was very happy wth that decision. Having had everything in front of him in order to decide was a good thing I think. Peace of mind  

Pat H,

 

Congrats on the offer (and possible pending offers).  You've laid out the situation...pretty straightforward.  Rather than focus on the offer, I would take a step back and focus on what your son wants.  This process can be crazy, and I think lots of folks get wrapped around the axle with everything that is outside of their control and don't focus enough on what is under their control.  Once you've re-established what your son wants (and verified these schools are a good fit) then I may approach all the schools your son has in the top 3-5 to see where they are at in terms of recruiting your son.   For the one school that is his top choice, your son should tell them they are his top choice and that he is working against a deadline.  Ask them directly if they are interested in him at this time.   I would work the list from 1 to 3 (or 5) working my way down on his choices.   I would get on the phone now with the other schools before asking for an extension from the offering school.

 

Oh course it is much easier looking at the situation from the outside.  You know your situation better than anyone, and I would take any advice given here with a grain of salt.  My son happened to be very particular with his choices (not related to baseball), so he said "no" quite a few times along the way.  It was a fantastic life experience for him, but their was much angst in his search.  So, what I'm saying is don't be afraid to ask questions or say "no" if something doesn't seem right.  Good luck.

 

 

Fenwaysouth, you have a PM

Had a similar situation with my 2013.  I sent an email to the 3 schools that my son was waiting on.  I apologized in advance for being an “overactive parent” but explained I didn’t want offers to come in the following week and be told we wished we knew he was about to make his decision.  All 3 schools responded – one with an offer, second asking for 2 more weeks to decide and the third wished us good luck.  Don’t be afraid to communicate honestly.  Good luck.  

Thanks for such a great post fenwaysouth, your advice is always appreciated.  My only question regarding this method is do you share who the offer came from with the top choice or others when working down the list?  I am sure that you don't share what the offer is, but just can't figure out whether or not sharing who you are currently talking to is advantageous.  I know schools ask on their recruitment forms uploaded on-line for your 5 top choices so it may be assumed that it is one of them, but we all know what happens when things are assumed...

This is why doing research early & of lots of different places is so important.  Not saying you guys didn't do your research.

 

Its amazing to me how a baseball family can be expected to work against a clock during July/August.  Unless you got on campus last spring you are making a very large decision without a clear picture.

 

There are some pretty important things that cannot be done in the summer.  

A few that come to mind is seeing actual students moving around campus.  The summer environment is different.

Watching a practice and or game.  All coaches are great in the recruiting process, but do you like their on field style?

Overnight visit.  How does the place jive with you off the field?  Socially that is.

Audit a class or 2.  Those are kind of important.

 

These plus many other things can only be done during the year.  Remember when kids used to take their 5 official visits senior year to help them make their college choice?  That is what they are for!  Now kids "commit" their sophomore year and their senior year they take an all expenses paid weekend to party. 

 

I was speaking to D1 coach this week that is very frustrated with this entire direction things have gone.  

 

Rich

www.PlayInSchool.com

My son went through a similar situation when he was being recruited 5 years ago. His #2 choice made a great offer with a 3 week time limit. We were very up front and honest with both the #1 choice (about having a great offer in hand, the fact that because they were an Ivy League school need based aid was all that would be provided, and we would need that information in the next 3 weeks) and the #2 choice (that they were #2 and were were waiting for a financial offer before deciding). The way both schools and coaches handled this made my son choose the #2 school. 

 

We figured that being honest and transparent couldn't get us in trouble. The really good thing that came out of the decision was the school my son choose was exactly were "he" belonged.

Transparent ~ that was the word I was searching for, thanks birdman14!  So your son went with who loved him + it worked.  Very glad to hear he was happy with the fit.

I probably would share the who and why a college is interested or offered but not what they offered unless it benefitted my son.  Would you share a counter offer for a house with another realtor...probably not.  Either, they are interested in your son or not.....it isn't a matter of providing competitive information then all of the sudden they'd be interested. 

 

Nobody is going to just share information randomly, so there has to be a give a take.  Transparency is good if everyone has their cards on the table.   I would  share information when it benefits your son and you are going to get important information back from the school about your son...."we see him as our #2 guy on our recruiting list but we are waiting to hear back from our #1 guy by next week".  That would be useful information, and would indicate they have put their cards on the table.

 

If for example the offering college is in a more competitive conference or they won their conference last year or their chemistry dept is top 10 ranked in US News & World Report, etc then I would bring that up with his #1 choice school.  Coaches do this day in and day out and they understand negotiating and leverage.  If you have any leverage, it is a good idea to use it. Coaches respect leverage.  In my experience, coaches only act when they have to and they do not like losing recruits to other competitive schools...you have to give them a reason.   To some degree your son has to put on his sales hat too to sell himself to the coaches.  Of course, this is JMO.

 

I think it is most important to separate personal feeling towards the coach/school from business.  Very few 18 year olds have the life experiences to understand the coach is selling and this is a business transaction, but most adults do.

 

Good luck. 

PIS, I completely agree with your post, having my son just commit. We were fortunate that we had visited several schools of interest last fall. Some in the form of a camp and some just unofficials. We did go back in the spring to son's dream school for a weekend series and full campus visit with coaching staff, academic staff, etc. I can't explain how important that was. My only problem with your post is the fact that college coaches are upset with the way recruiting has accelerated. If offers were not being made to sophomores and juniors, them commitments couldn't be taking place. I hope baseball doesn't follow football and basketball, but it seems well on its way. Unfortunately, you can't put the Jeanie back in the bottle.

Thanks fenwaysouth, your help is appreciated very much! 

I like the part about disclose if it benefits your son. Remember you are dealing with a professional recruiter, negotiator, salesman, whatever you want to call them and you are entering their arena where they have conducted thousands of procedures. An angle that I have seen work quite well lately, was when a coach finds out they may be losing a top recruit to another school in their conference. I think their exact words were (There ain't no way we are gonna let him go to xxxxxx and play him 3 times a year!) Then they matched the offer and the kid went to his school he wanted the whole time.

Does the kid end up with the "same love" as what he could have received from first school's offer?  Initially, maybe I would think/hope.  Then it very well could be based on how he actual plays, I guess.

 

As Tom Petty says..."Love is a long, long road".  I think "love" is a nicer way of saying fit.  Some recruits just fit well into a program because they need his athetic talents or his GPA, or whatever.  The recruit is satisfying a need along with his intangibles for the program.  As nice as "love" sounds, it is calculated by both sides and it is relative.  One recruit may be more about the scholarship $, whereas another recruit may be about the pitching coach or the Communincations Dept for example 

 

Absolutely.  This is about getting recruited only.   Nobody is going to guarantee anything beyond what is agreed to for recruiting.  For example:  Recruit will apply ED....Coach will help with Admissions as needed, provide scholarship $ in year one, and provide a roster spot to compete for a position.  Anything beyond that is TBD, unless it is in writing.

Thank you all for the great responses. We took an agressive approach by reaching out to the other top school on his list. After several calls not returned and the deadline approaching, they finally called. And it was a good conversation, but in the end my son made the best decision for him. He has committed and he is thrilled. The school has his major, it's the right size, he loved the campus and they made a fantastic offer, that he felt he couldn't leave on the table. We visited as many campuses as we could in the given time that we had. In the end one other thing drew him to the school. The winning tradition the school has. Hopefully he will help them keep that tradition going. Thanks again for everyones response!   

 

Congrats Pat H and to your son.  You must be thrilled and for all the right reasons mentioned above!   Good luck.

So awesome to hear everything worked out for him.  Best of luck!