Paid to play

How old is your son?

17 years old.  Going to be a Senior.

Here's blunt advice, from the dad of a boy younger than yours, but with more experience in tournament ball: FORGET self esteem. FORGET expecting anything. This is competitive ball, and if your son can help them win behind the plate he will be there. If not, he won't.Catchers are expected to block bad pitches ... no matter what the pitcher says to the coach.

You started by saying you were not getting involved. DON'T! But also, don't let your son quit. Help him understand ... it's all about performance. And if he needs to perform better than he is, work harder! 

I really hope you and your son can see what's real here. It's not favoritism or any such nonsense. It's ability, pure and simple.

jp24,

+1

If it is really showcase ball, then the primary purpose is for the kids to play and be seen as opposed to "winning."  At least is sounds like your kid is playing, just not where he wants.  I am not sure what you really can do other than use it as a learning experience.  Quitting is the wrong thing to do.  Your son needs to suck it up and play it out. 

As for approaching the coach, that is a sticky situation.  You'll need to look at the consequences.  Who is the guy, who does he know, and how can he affect you son's future?  Does he have a policy on parents?  Will you become one of "those" parents?  Considering that you paid money to help support the team, you do have some standing to communicate with the coach.  However, at 17 your kid is old enough to handle it and probably should.  Chalk it up as a learning experience.  Now you know what questions to ask next year.  Good luck. 

This has been a great thread, and I really like the responses made to the OP.  It is so hard sometimes to be objective and understand that at some point, our boys have to stand on their own merits.  I, and many others, are like the OP in that we can begin to make excuses for our sons.  (Not trying to bash, because I have done the same thing.)  We must strive to be more objective and make our sons understand that at this level performance is everything.  For instance, maybe the pitchers on your sons team are somewhat wild, and your son doesn't have the skill set to keep their wild pitches in front of him, and another catcher is more equipped to do so.  He should talk to the coach and see if he can stay after, or come earlier, and catch bull pens.  Maybe, a coach would come early or stay late to help him improve at blocking balls. When my son is struggling I always ask him if he has asked the coach to throw him extra BP.  It is up to them now, and if they are not willing to do the extra that it takes, they may be playing "Left Out."  (My son included.)

I really appreciate all your comments.  And I am definitely taking them to heart, with no offense.  I probably need to give a little more information.  

My son didn't miss any blocks at all.  My son shuffles behind the plate instead of standing and re positioning.  So his movements are not real noticeable to spectators.  The pitcher couldn't hit his strike zone.  The same thing happened this weekend and they ended up pulling the pitcher.  

Because of this experience, he has decided he is not going to play baseball past high school.  I am so glad he learned this before college.  He has always known what degree and career he wants to pursue.  

He has never played summer baseball before because he works 10-12 hours a day, and still is between baseball games, and loves to go to the lake.  The reason he even tried out was because several coaches and baseball dads told him he needed to because they thought he had a great future in baseball.  He doesn't even like to go to baseball games unless he is playing.  I know that sounds crazy, but he loves life behind the plate.  

Here is my big decision now:  1.  Cut our losses, chalk it up to a wonderful experience in life and start working with a personal coach (we have two who are willing to start working with him immediately).  We are looking at at least an addl $2000 to continue with this team.

2.  Make him stick it out 

All suggestions are welcome.  

If he is 17, and doesn't want to play past High School, I wouldn't drop another 2 grand on personal lessons.  I would just complete the season and be done with it.  We have recently experienced the same thing with my son in regards to football.  He is a good QB, he just doesn't love it.  He LOVES baseball, so he decided to give up football and focus on baseball.  They need to do what they love. Is it possible that his non passion for baseball is seen by the coaches and therefore, they don't want to invest time and effort into him?

Your son made a good decision not to play college ball. If this experience is all it takes to upset him he probably wouldn't make it through college ball. What would happen if the college coach decided he's not a catcher? If your son is going to be a senior next year and doesn't want to continue with baseball past high school why would you invest another 2k into his game?

No, the personal lessons are free.  It is another $2000 to continue with this team.

RJM, you have a good point.  The reason I am so torn is we are not quitters.  There are so many unexplained circumstances with this team.  Most of the players didn't even know each other until the first of June, including the coach.  And will never see each other again after the season is over.  They had 2 practices the beginning of the season and that is it.  When they travel, there is no team activities or supervision.  I understand they are 16, 17 and 18 years old, but I have friends whose kids play college ball and the team travels together, eats together and so on.  How do they expect to win many games if the players don't get to know each other.  

The only thing the coach did was a bed check at midnight.  No making sure the guys had rides or food.  That is a lot of responsibility for anyone.  Especially almost 500 miles from home.

My son is 27 and still playing the game, his life is bb and he would never quit, although he has thought about it at times when things weren't going well, but we have told him never to quit.

In your case, 2K is a lot of money to spend for summer baseball if he has no interest past HS.

I am sorry that he is having a bad experience. 

Quit.

JMO.

Save your Money and get out. 2k is too much to spend if the coach is more concerned about winning than equal play time for position players, 17 u baseball is not college baseball. The average players pay for the elite players, not cool, you pay to play, not sit.

The kid is getting playing time. It's just not at the position he wants to play.

Welcome to the world of travel ball.  This is a prime example of why you must do your due diligence when it comes to picking a team to tryout and/or play for.  My son passed on a free ride team to play for a team that cost some money, he thought the opportunity an fit was much better....and so far he was right and it is going very good

Thank you all for your input.  I have decided that I will encourage my son not to quit this season.  

I do want to clarify some things.  We have already paid $3000. and before we paid he told us he would be catching.  We found out this weekend he told another kid that he had his starting catcher but that he needed outfielders.  If he had told us this or discussed anything about why he is not allowing my son to catch, then I would have been like most of you saying "suck it up", but I feel we were sold something we did not receive.

Baseball is primarily a mental game.  If players aren't on top of their game mentally, they won't play well.  I don't care how much you love the game or how talented you are.  If you are not given a chance to play where you feel most comfortable, especially pitcher or catcher and not given a reason why, then it will mess with you mind.

ta,

I agree with you that baseball is a very mental sport requiring tremendous mental toughness and tenacity.  Where we probably don't apply it the same is when it comes to playing "where you feel most comfortable" and letting that mess with your mind.

One prime example just occurred in the CWS with UCLA. Their 2nd basemen got hurt during the season so they moved a 250lb 3B to 2B and he played all the post season at 2B, doing a darn good job in the field, with each AB and in every situation.The same was true of the catcher, who was an infielder until an injury to the starting catcher put him behind the plate midway during the season.

This site is full of examples where playing a position different than what the player might "want" ends up being a great opportunity, not a set back to mess with the mind.

In our situation, our son was selected to play for one of the top Summer wood bat college teams, with his selection coming pretty late in the Spring. In college, he was a shortstop. When he showed up for the first Summer team practice and the coach said take your position, 5 guys ran to short, none went to 3rd.  On his way to the position, our son saw this and moved directly to 3B. After about 10 minutes of infield, the Head Coach called him over and asked "Have you ever played 3B."

With the support of that coaching staff and a ton of work, our son ended up making the All-Star team at 3B and the final All-League selections..at 3B, ending up 2nd in the league in hitting. Our son's situation that Summer is not an exception. It actually is more the rule in competitive situations, no matter what the level.  From what you have posted, it sounds like your son's situation might be one of those. 

I would encourage you to look at this as a great opportunity for your son to play, produce and become the best outfielder on his team.  The better he plays, no matter the position, the more opportunities he creates for more playing time and AB's, no matter what the position.

Good luck to your son.  I sure hope he can find the mental way to see what a talented player can do with a chance, depending on how he chooses to define the "chance."

Showcase teams aren't as much about one player winning a position as each player getting exposure where he needs it. This is why it's important for the player to ask questions before joining a team. My son asked who was planning on being on the team. When he found out the shortstop from the coach's high school would be on the team my son asked how often he would have the opportunity to play short. He knew the other kid was a coach's pet (and he was talented). Even though my son got adequate play at short the assistant coach (a pro scout and former college coach) convinced my son he should be playing center full time. It turned out he was a better centerfielder than a shortstop. So, when a player gets his position changed it may be for the better.

Showcase teams are mostly about showing batting skills for position players. The player may play anywhere when he gets to college. Any position beats the end of the bench. A friend's son, a catcher was recruited to a top ranked college team. The coach recruited four stud catchers. One caught. One played first. One played right. One played left. They were all drafted.

I would like to know the name of the organization your dealing with please??

This story reminds of a few years ago when my son was "asked" by his HS coach to play on a particular club team even though he was already on a good team. I had a bad feeling about it, but decided to go along with it thinking that I didnt want to make waves with his HS coach. He went to the tryout and and did well, and the coach/owner told both of us that he would play on one of his two "elite" 18u teams.

A few weeks later the coach of the 16u team called him and to say he was scheduled to play with them. My son was confused and didnt want to play on a weak 16u team when he was already playing against 18u competition on his other team. He was especially pissed because he was lied to. I called the owner for clarification and he denied ever saying that he was on the 18u team, blah, blah blah. I tried to get my money back and he said no refunds. Never tried to talk us into staying either. I considered taking him to small claims but figured it was best to just chalk it up as an expensive mistake.

Since this guy is pretty well connected with scouts and colleges I figured it wasnt worth the fight as he could have hurt my sons chances down the road. It all worked out so far, he has a D1 scholarship and could very well get drafted next year. I also think the experience motivated him even more to show this guy that he made a mistake.

My advice to any parent out there is to be very careful when selecting a team. Look at the turnover. After our experience I found that they turned over most of their rosters every year. Do your research and dont allow yourself to be pressured into anything.

Biggerpapi NAILED IT !!!  That said, some advice I read here a few years back, "it is better to play on a worse team than sit on a better one"