Parent contracts

Determining how effective a parent contract is strictly up to the individual coach. As for myself I found it to be a useful tool.
I feel that it improved my personal accountability to the team and to faculty and parents.
Within the extended family I found that it helped diffuse potential situations between myself and parents that spent time and money having their child tutored by someone else. Most often we could work out a solution because the ground rules were further enhanced through the P.C.
Always checked with the powers that be so that I would not be considered renegade.
I never had an occurrence that went as far as the Board. The vast majority of issues were resolved close to the field or behind my office door.
In my opinion, the contract just held everyone more accountable to securing a common goal. Numerous times the parents would police themselves when someone became overly emotional over a situation.
I never had anyone challenge the legality or its' purpose after it was agreed to and signed.

Sounds good coach and that's what I was hoping to find. Do you mind if I PM you an email address so I could possibly get a copy of your contract?

The fact that there is discussion about this tells us alot.

coach2709, feel free, I'll gladly give it to you.

With all due respect to the good coaches, please consider this; Try a "coaches contract" first. Treat all players with respect, they will return it.
Don't complain if you can't explain.
If you want to "keep things in the dugout" be sure to use it for "teachable moments" and don't dress your players down onfield.
Never yell at a player for your mistake.
Just these four will have your players self policing the parents.

quote:

Originally posted by Yankeelvr:
With all due respect to the good coaches, please consider this; Try a "coaches contract" first. Treat all players with respect, they will return it.
Don't complain if you can't explain.
If you want to "keep things in the dugout" be sure to use it for "teachable moments" and don't dress your players down onfield.
Never yell at a player for your mistake.
Just these four will have your players self policing the parents.

In a perfect world, yes. Unfortunately reality is sometimes far different.

quote:

With all due respect to the good coaches, please consider this; Try a "coaches contract" first. Treat all players with respect, they will return it.
Don't complain if you can't explain.
If you want to "keep things in the dugout" be sure to use it for "teachable moments" and don't dress your players down onfield.
Never yell at a player for your mistake.
Just these four will have your players self policing the parents.

some interesting points. I particularly like the don't yell at players for your mistake. Of course that mistake is determined by?

I will be honest. I did it for 30 years and I had no complaints. I did occassionally "yell" at a player. Now today what constitutes yelling is another story. I once took a kid out of a district playoff game because he did not run a ball out. when he came to the dugout I yelled? at him and told him to sit down. No problem Now if i did that today? Who knows.

"When he came to the dugout..." This is the place for letting the players have it. Now if you didn't have the self control to allow the player to reach the dugout, different story. As long as every player on your team could expect the same result for not hustling, beautiful.

As far as who "judges" the coaches mistakes, that would be the coach himself. In the 30 years you coached I'd guess you made a mistake or 100. Did you lash out at the players for them, or use them as part of your education as a coach?

I grew up in NEPA. The only time we worried as a player was when the coach quit yelling. Some coaches are just more adept at knowing when to "yell" while others tend to make a career of it.

quote:

As far as who "judges" the coaches mistakes, that would be the coach himself.

Try sitting at a game it is amazing how things are critiqued after the fact. What do they say hindsight is 20/20

quote:

Originally posted by Yankeelvr:
With all due respect to the good coaches, please consider this; Try a "coaches contract" first. Treat all players with respect, they will return it.
Don't complain if you can't explain.
If you want to "keep things in the dugout" be sure to use it for "teachable moments" and don't dress your players down onfield.
Never yell at a player for your mistake.
Just these four will have your players self policing the parents.

For the most part I agree with this - I'm just not going to do any kind of contract to make sure of this.

One problem with the respect is that definitions vary. Some kids see respect as entitlement. They are being respected if they are getting their way. Hard to overcome that.

Not sure what you mean by the "don't complain if you can't explain". Are you saying that a coach shouldn't get upset over something if they aren't able to communicate effectively? If so then I agree but if the guys don't speak up in practice then it can happen. Sometimes what we think what we say is crystal clear but for the guys it's a foreign language. If they don't understand they have to raise a hand and ask.

I agree that anything said or done needs to be done in the dugout during games. I think anywhere is free game during practice. Theoretically it should be you and the team so if you have to get onto somebody then it's still within the team. Getting yelled at in front of others isn't fun but it's not the worst thing in the world. If they can't handle getting yelled at then what are they going to do when the pressure of the game heats up?

You're going to yell at a player for your mistake because you're not going to realize you messed up. I know that's happened to me and found out later. When this happens to me I will apologize to the kid in front of the team and explain what went on. To me it ties in with the "if you're going to rip them in public then make sure to praise them in public".

The idea of engaging participants in some kind of “agreement” is not new. Here on the left coast, the state assn is the CIF, and they, like many other assns all over the country have accepted “Pursuing Victory with Honor” as being the model for HS athletics. Here’s a link on their web site that has links to the things that make up that model. Notice the 3 different codes of conduct and the CIF expectations for coaches.

http://www.cifstate.org/educat...mentation-tools.html

Coach 2709,

As you know judging by your past posts, coaching is communication. Given the knowledge, if you can communicate it, great, you're well on your way to being a good coach. Otherwise, write a book and save a bunch of people grief. I wasn't suggesting a literal contract, just a way of going about the duties of coaching. Another way way to put it might be treat them like kids and you get to deal with parents. Treat them like the young adults they are and you may be surprised what they take care of with and for you. Both coaches & players are going to make mistakes. If you are the type who enjoys public humiliation for yourself, go ahead and blast your players during the game. Practices are for coaches, games are for the players. In my opinion the coach sets the mood. If you ask the players to be cool under pressure be sure to set that example.

Yankeelvr - I do agree with everything you say and just playing a little bit of devil's advocate. This has been a strange spring for me. I've been coaching 18 years (9 as head) and I've never been at a place where a contract was used or considered. I've seen a friend of mine lose his job because he ticked off a board member. Total abuse of power and it just seems like we're going in the wrong direction.

Communication is completely the key to success in having a good relationship with parents. I think I've had this over the years but it just seems like the squeeky wheels are getting too much grease anymore.

What you say here....

quote:

Treat them like the young adults they are and you may be surprised what they take care of with and for you.

...I cannot agree with enough. I've been saying this for years for education / teaching. I see kids in the hallways wearing cartoon character pajamas, cartoon character bookbags and things like that. Stuff you should see from elementary school kids - not high school kids. But this stuff starts at home. Why do parents let their kids walk out the house looking like this? I say something to them and I get treated like I'm a horrible person.

Sorry if I came across wrong.

as one who has been around the game for more years than you can think of I find it very disheartening that we need contracts of any kind for youth or hs ball

Coach, Student Athlete, Parent Agreement

1. As your coach I will provide a climate that will create a positive learning environment. I will also provide instruction to the best of my ability and resources. I will also utilize each Student Athlete as each situation dictates. This means, to me, that it may not always be the most talented player but the person(s) that will provide the best desired outcome, I acknowledge that I am not pefect and neither is anyone else. I will make myself available to any questions and concerns youmay have about this program.

_____________________________ Sign and Date

2. As a member of this squad, I will do my best to adhere to the team concept. I recognize that my spot on the team is an earned privilege not to be taken lightly. I understand that every member of this squad had to earn their way on also and I will get out of this program what I put into it.. I acknowledge that I am not perfect and neither is anyone elseso I will ask questions if I have difficulty with a decision I do not like.

_____________________________Sign and Date

3. As a parent of a team member, I will do my best to support my "Student/Athlete". I realize that their true success will come from the classroom first. I understand that this game is a stepping stone for my player's future and that it reinforces what they will become in the years ahead. I will also do my best to conduct myself with dignity and be respectful of others at all times. I am not perfect and neither is anyone else.

______________________________Sign and Date


This is not a legal document. It is intended to be a reminder of what we each have committed to in the best interest of everyone involved.This enhances areas of discussion covered in preseason meetings.

By signing this paper, we have given our written word to be committed to each other as a team.

There is no guarantee about tomorrow so we have to give it our best today.

Respectfully,

As "Stats4Gnats" pointed out earlier most locations have the legaleze version. This rendition of what I have used has been modified over the years to try and impact each team's personality most effectively.
I have always tried to keep everyone from coach to players to parents as closely knit as possible.

It bothers me to no end and I blame myself to some degree when a former player falls in life. I will use a real life example here. I had a promising sophomore that moved to San Diego after the season. I saw him a few months later back in town and asked if he was back in school. He told me that he had run away and had moved back to stay with friends and it was not long afterwards that I found out that he was in rehab. I reflected on him and concluded that I had missed some warnings signs that indicated that he was in trouble. The fact that he had contacted me should have been a good indicator. He essentially was aksing for help and I did not see that. This happened a few years ago.

On the flip side of this, I was traveling yesterday and saw a ball game in progress and decided to stop in. What I found gave me the ultimate surprise. Another former player was working as an assistant coach and I felt a great sense of humility as I realized that this young man was also an at risk student in his time. I was almost overwhelmed as I compared notes between the two mentioned players.

I realized that I may have failed misereably and I may have succeeded to some degree in helping shape the outcomes of both of these young men lives. I personally could care less about how someone feels about the value of certain things including "contracts".

The bottom line is this. I may not agree with what everyone does. With that said I don't expect them to agree with me on everything either. As someone alluded to earlier "In a perfect world yes,", means to me that we each have to find ways that work for each of us to approach our maximum abilities each day in whatever our responsibilities are. I will always tip my hat to anyone that is willing to try to make themselves better to help others. Just my two cents worth.

quote:

very disheartening that we need contracts of any kind for youth or hs ball

Trhit

It used to be that you coached. Now you spend more time covering your *** than coaching

Coaching is hard...you'll probably never make everyone (or every parent happy) do your best to surround yourself with good people and try to remember that you are dealing with the most important thing in people's lives (their children).

Parenting is hard...having someone else be in control of something that your kid cares about so much (or we care about our kids caring about)is hard. Learn to understand that the Coach (at least 9 times out of 10) is doing the best they can and probably does it for more than the $ they get. Coaching involves more than just the games, they see practice, interactions with teammates, and 1 on 1 meetings with players....sometimes when we disagree with the Coach WE ARE THE ONES who are wrong.