Parental Hair-Pulling

parent

I surely can---when my son was a junior going into his senior year in HS he won an MVP in an tournament when he went 8 for 11 on the final sudden death day of two games against the supposedly two best pitchers in the region---they had signed with a school whose coach was in attendance so I asked him what he thought---his answer was a terse "I do not recruit outfielders"---I walked away shaking my head--the kid just raked them, 3 of the 8 hits were monster HRS---

Sometimes you wonder what they are thinking !!!!


By the by the two pitchers never completed college baseball while my guy went west and played in the Big West

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I think all of us who have been through it can relate....

For most, it is a marathon not a sprint...stay in for the long haul...keep doing your business...only takes one good fit...

There is a great deal going on behind the scenes that you cannot know...

Including other players/parents who are driving THE COACHES nuts!...

44

Great post. Sums up the whole process.

It's going to take a little psychological discipline on your part to overcome this anxiety. It's easy for us who've already gone through the process to say this, (we were basket cases too!), but, RELAX. It's going to happen for your kid. He's garnered all sorts of interest. There's a program out there for him. Nothing YOU can do will influence any coaches' decisions. Let it play out and enjoy the results.

I can most certainly relate to your hair-pulling. I credit my retained head of hair to the solid, steady nature of my son..who through all of it, never faltered in his determination or confidence in himself. It must be very difficult to keep going out day after day and playing baseball with so much at stake..is anybody watching..how did i do..I think this a time when parents need to stay focused on the child and not the player being recruited...your child will need your level-headedness more than ever. Keeping family life as normal as possible..still do your homework and be a responsible human being..well-loved, well-tended and now being recruited! Hang in there..

Newcomer and Poptime are right on!

Parent! You are funny.... Here's my therapeutic advice. It's not about you, but about your kid. The LAST thing you want to do is communicate your anxiety to your player. And he will pick up on it because it becomes the only topic of conversation between you, or he sees the worried look on your face. We followed our son's direction ("that's enough Dad") I told my wife that we were going to really enjoy his Senior year, and not go nuts about the recruiting scenario. It's normal to have these thoughts, but keep them under your hat. It is hard enough for your son to be constantly "on" without you contributing to the mix. If you follow the directions on this site about the college search, and read the tips abotu recruiting, things will work out. Next year you will post advice to the next over-the-top baseball parent.

By the way, you'll calm down some if you stop assuming every coach or scout is there to primarily see your son (because they aren't). The thing about calling on July 1 is a standard line. Your son is not the first choice of that school, but he could still end up going there. If you want to do something constantly, remind your son that grades and SAT scores matter a lot in the recruiting process. Closer to November he MAY get an offer, or he MAY get one in the Spring or maybe not. Either way you have to be calm for him. And then, you have to decide if it is the right fit. Let us know what happens...

I can't tell you good people HOW glad I was to find this particular thread today! Lordy, I've gone just about crazy trying to convince my son not to worry since July 1st has come and gone. He played in a tournament during that weekend and played terrible because he was worried that a call might not come.

He has played the past 2 weeks in the WWBA 18U & 17U tourney's at East Cobb and unfortunately his team never got to play at the EC "complex" where the scouts were tripping over each other. That also didnt make him all too happy. Granted, there were "some" scouts at the outlying various high schools, it wasnt enough for him...lol. There was 1 particular scout from a small DIII school that seemed to show up at each of his games and happen to see him pitch both times (once in relief, other as a starter). Was he there to see my son? Not sure, but I can say this, he certainly got to see a great performance unless he was watching the birds fly overhead...lol. Like you said earlier, he/they may be there to see a particular kid play a certain position. Time will tell. That's what I tell him.

He's a Christian so I'm fortunate enough to be able to explain to him that God will open the right door for him when it's right. That fact alone has helped take a load of worry and anxiety off of him.

Right now he has learned that his SAT scores (1200, 3part) are not where he (or some schools) would like them to be and he is determined to work hard and do better next time he takes it.

This message board is SO good to have. Thank you all.

As an 07 parent, I'm glad we are a year past 'yal! I love these posts because I can relate to your anxiety - it is a roller coaster!

My husband and son made a game plan - Looked first at academics and the major then the baseball and targeted colleges that way. When I would get nervous (basically when I ran into other parents and heard about what colleges were recruiting their son, etc.), my husband and son would remind me what our game plan was - didn't matter what was happening with the "Jones" family.

On a side note - I went to dinner this week with several 07 baseball moms from our area (representing 3 high schools) - Out of our group- 2 07 boys had signed with D1 schools, 2 with D2 schools, 1 with a Juco and one had health problems and is not playing baseball next year. Only one of the boys had signed in the fall. The rest of the players signed in the spring - my son included (D2). Things worked out for the player going to the Juco at the beginning of this summer.

I'm not an expert on this recruiting process like so many on this website but I can tell you that there are lots of good players who sign in the spring. I know 07 players who did not have a great summer showcasing for one reason or another and things still worked out for them. Sometimes it is hard to stand out when you play on a team with so many outstanding players.

Keep going to the showcases, write those letters & emails, make those college visits to look at the campuses and academics, work on those SAT's, make a game plan and don't pay attention to whose being recruited by whom! Good luck finding the right fit!

Patience

quote:

For most, it is a marathon not a sprint...stay in for the long haul...keep doing your business...only takes one good fit...

There is a great deal going on behind the scenes that you cannot know...

Including other players/parents who are driving THE COACHES nuts!...

O44 said it best!

ONLY after it is all over will you understand --- but even then you will NEVER fully understand what happened.

Thanks for your responses and encouragement. I'm sure that in the next few months, I will read these posts over and over and over.

If they sold patience in a bottle, I would be buying caseloads!

Since I have been here I have read so many post about the recruiting rollercoaster ride, the frustrations, the ups and downs, etcc..

Thank God for this site and the opportunity to go into the recruiting process with eyes wide open.
But, I can't say I am looking forward to it.

parent, the recruiting process can be a terrific learning tool, but we usually don't "learn" that until the process is complete and our son is in college.
The items you are observing should be used as knowledge, not frustration.
While others might disagree, I think the manner in which many coaches recruit your son will closely correlate with the way those coaches will treat and coach your son if he plays in their program.
I think too many of us as parents get wrapped up thinking it is an "honor" to be recruited. Indeed it is recognition of past efforts and future projections. It is extremely exciting.
But, it would be a significant and erroneous rationalization to think that the way in which coaches respond, communicate, failure to follow through on commitments will change when they coach your son.