Midlo -- Agreed to a point. Just as not everybody is going to hit the 90's, not everybody can learn to hit a spot on command ... but in my experience more kids can learn to Pitch than are blessed with the potential to become a power arm.
My point to young Pitchers (and their parents) is that there are more things holding a kid back from becoming a "hard thrower" than there are holding a kid back from learning to Pitch to win; and you can learn to Pitch while your body strengthens and matures.
Beginning to develop the skill of hitting spots can be as easy as making a game out of it. As a kid, I used to throw tennis balls off the chimney, not aiming at the bricks, but at the X's made by the mortar at a joints. With LL'ers we would have kids warming up playing a game where they had to hit the heart of their partner's glove without the glove moving. The pair that got to 10 in a row first won.
At 13U, on SP_son's team, we had 6 guys we called Pitchers ... and a couple of Throwers. We started them in the winter focussing on spots; we broke the strike zone down into 9 zones, and challenged them to pitch to spots in those zones; they all embraced the concept of Effective Velocity. Yes -- Some became better than others, but ALL made great strides forward, and a very mediocre team had a .750 winning % in the 2nd half of the year thanks to their ability to Pitch.
I just think we get a little TOO hyped up on velocity these days. I agree with all you have said about college coaches, and you have more expeirence there thatn I. But I sat at the ACC tournament and watched a bunch of guys have success on the mound sitting between 83 & 87. I watched the college World Series and watched a kid sitting on 84/85 carry his team to the D1 Championship.
And those are the kids pitching at the highest levels of college baseball. There is D2, D3, NAIA, JUCO ... you don't have to throw 90 to play college baseball, but you do have to prove that you can pitch to win.
I encourage every young player to reach inside of himself to become the very best he can be. If a kid can throw 90, then I want to see him get there (while maintaining long-term health). But if a kid can only get to 85, or 80, I want to see him learn how to do the most he can with what he has ... and, to me, that means learning how to pitch to win.
By the way ... the 3-pitch sequence I mentioned before is the sequence SP_son used when you and I watched him K an Aflac All-American when he needed one down in Jupiter
. The boy wonder had not pitched, and had barely even played catch, for nearly a month when he was told he was going in that game. He told me later he knew 2 things ... he could spot a 2-seam FB, and that he needed to use Effective Velocity to keep them off balance. 3 IP, 0 H, 0 R, and 0 balls out of the infield against one of the best teams in the country sitting at 78/79 that day, as he helped his team WIN.
That is something that many, many young pitchers can learn to do whle they are growing and training to max out their power potential.