The question is, why is your son so determined to defy the coach on something so trivial?
You can be a great ball player and a great student and still be an attitude problem for the team. Haircut rules like this one are not common but also not unheard of. It's a discipline/team unity thing. It is clearly within the domain of the head coach. And if the coach has made his position clear, you should view it as his way of testing whether or not a given player is a team player, willing to make a (minor and temporary) personal sacrifice to fit the plan for the team unit.
Now it's son's turn to figure out if he's a team player, or not a member of the team at all.
Does he understand that the coach didn't just make up the rule just for him? By not cutting it, he is showing up the coach who enforced this rule on other teammates and players before him.
Plus, it will grow back in the off season.
Plus, it will grow back in the off season.
I like a kid who's got principals and will lay it on the line and will stand up for what he believes.
Signed
The kid on the bubble
Signed
The kid on the bubble
So you think I should tell him that your opinion means nothing. That I feel it's best for you to cave
and play ball for this guy. That's how I feel but I also have respect for the boys opinion.
He told me he would go to college and be a doctor at age 6 and I told him med school was very expensive that he would have to get good grades in school so he could get scholarships to help.
He promised he would never get a bad grade and has never had less than an A since he started getting report cards. I am very disappointed that he may loose out on ball YET at the same time feel that its more his decision than mine at 16 he's closer to a man than a boy. I will show him this message board when he comes home from school and see what he says.
and play ball for this guy. That's how I feel but I also have respect for the boys opinion.
He told me he would go to college and be a doctor at age 6 and I told him med school was very expensive that he would have to get good grades in school so he could get scholarships to help.
He promised he would never get a bad grade and has never had less than an A since he started getting report cards. I am very disappointed that he may loose out on ball YET at the same time feel that its more his decision than mine at 16 he's closer to a man than a boy. I will show him this message board when he comes home from school and see what he says.
OO'sDAD, I think your hunch about not drawing a line in the sand and forcing him to do it is the right direction. He has to want to do it. And, he has to understand that he's a big boy and has to live with the consequences of his decisions. Some things are really hard...like a kid with a bum arm knowing his next throw may be his last. Or the kid with brittle bones because he's recovering from cancer. Hair length doesn't seem to fit into that category and it's a shame for him to make his life harder than it needs to be because of something like that. But, he has to live with it.........
Life (and success) is about compromises and saving "face". Suggest he gets a good trim, more than he wants and less than the coach wants.
He offered this coach says all or nothing.
In that case I recommend nothing - shave it all off. That'll give him a way to show a bit of spunk while going with the letter of the law.
00DAD,
If he wants to play, he has to follow the coach's rules, if he doesn't then he won't play.
Other then what you have posted, I, we don't know you, but if this is his attitude, how is he going to be when he goes to school to be a physician? They are always be told what to do and how to do it. They are put through he ll from day one.
Size wise at 16 they look like adults, but, mentally they are like 2 or 3 year old they think know everything.
Old saying "when I was 16, my father was dumb, now that I'm 35 I see how much smarter he got and now he's the smartest man in the world"
If he wants to play, he has to follow the coach's rules, if he doesn't then he won't play.
Other then what you have posted, I, we don't know you, but if this is his attitude, how is he going to be when he goes to school to be a physician? They are always be told what to do and how to do it. They are put through he ll from day one.
Size wise at 16 they look like adults, but, mentally they are like 2 or 3 year old they think know everything.
Old saying "when I was 16, my father was dumb, now that I'm 35 I see how much smarter he got and now he's the smartest man in the world"
He's 16 and just beginning to stretch his wings and see how far he can get. Looks like you giving him a little too much room!
Maybe it's a good opportunity to learn that choices very often have consequences. Not being a team player is never going to get your far in this game.
I've raised four and if you want to let him stand by his convictions on this, then let him deal with the outcome. Moving .... are you kidding? Looks like the "Cart is leading the horse" on this trip.
Maybe it's a good opportunity to learn that choices very often have consequences. Not being a team player is never going to get your far in this game.
I've raised four and if you want to let him stand by his convictions on this, then let him deal with the outcome. Moving .... are you kidding? Looks like the "Cart is leading the horse" on this trip.
I wish I had a kid who wanted to be a doctor.
You sound like a pretty cool dad.
If you were my dad, I would wash your car every Saturday morning.
quote:Originally posted by 00'sDAD:
...but I also have respect for the boys opinion....at the same time feel that its more his decision than mine at 16 he's closer to a man than a boy.
You sound like a pretty cool dad.
quote:Originally posted by 00'sDAD:
I will show him this message board when he comes home from school and see what he says.
If you were my dad, I would wash your car every Saturday morning.
His dad should tell him to get a haircut.
Sounds like he needs to learn some respect for authority. What's he going to do when his boss tells him to wear a coat and tie to work? Or when the government tells him to pay his taxes?
CPLZ has a great recommendation: no high school ball, no travel ball.
CPLZ has a great recommendation: no high school ball, no travel ball.
Does he truly love the game enough to play? I've seen many kids use a coach's rules as a means to quit playing because they didn't want to be a quitter. I say pose this to him - ask him what he would do if you told him no HS ball then no travel ball. If he says no big deal and he won't play then I think the writing is on the wall - he doesn't love the game enough to continue. It would then be in his best interests to remove himself from the team. Make sure to phrase it as a what if because you don't want to paint yourself into a corner and be forced to do something you don't want to do.
It's nice to sit here and talk about respecting your son's opinion and how he's went out and earned his own car but it pails in comparison to learning which battles to fight. As a parent you need to let your kids make their own decisions and figure things out on their own but you are the ultimate trump card. What you say goes and if he doesn't like it then that just tough.
Let me give you some final advice - stay away from the coach who is 50 miles away and is recruiting your son. I'm willing to bet that recruiting is illegal in your state based on state rules. If you got a coach willing to break this kind of rule what other rules will he break? Will he really even care about the health and welfare of your son? This guy is bad news and if you get near him you will probably get burned.
Tell your son to cut his hair and gain some perspective as to what's really important in life. I know if I had a kid who's going to fight me on something like this then he will fight me on other things. I would proably be glad he didn't cut his hair so he would eliminate himself.
It's nice to sit here and talk about respecting your son's opinion and how he's went out and earned his own car but it pails in comparison to learning which battles to fight. As a parent you need to let your kids make their own decisions and figure things out on their own but you are the ultimate trump card. What you say goes and if he doesn't like it then that just tough.
Let me give you some final advice - stay away from the coach who is 50 miles away and is recruiting your son. I'm willing to bet that recruiting is illegal in your state based on state rules. If you got a coach willing to break this kind of rule what other rules will he break? Will he really even care about the health and welfare of your son? This guy is bad news and if you get near him you will probably get burned.
Tell your son to cut his hair and gain some perspective as to what's really important in life. I know if I had a kid who's going to fight me on something like this then he will fight me on other things. I would proably be glad he didn't cut his hair so he would eliminate himself.
Sounds like he's made his decision that college ball (and the possibility of losing a chance at it) is not as important to him as his individuality. Nothing wrong with that. Some kids don't want college ball as much as they want other things in their lives. Why can't he have both? Because baseball is a sport in which a direct line of command is necessary. No haircut, no line of command.
One thing you have to wonder about is how he's going to handle being a resident if he puts his individuality above the Chief's edicts.
I smell a life lesson.
One thing you have to wonder about is how he's going to handle being a resident if he puts his individuality above the Chief's edicts.
I smell a life lesson.
OODad,
Hair grows back.
I am 53 and graduated from HS in 1975. I played baseball and had very long hair in 1972. Coach said, 'Unless you cut your hair you will not play on my team.' Thinking how proud I was to stand up against the establishment by growing my hair long I told him I would not get it cut. He summarily cut me...
Boy, did I show him...
Now, all these years later I have many regrets in my life and you know what the biggest regret was? Yup, not getting a **** haircut! By far the dumbest thing I ever did...
Boy, did I show him...by not playing on his team...boy, did I show him...
Hair grows back...
Hair grows back.
I am 53 and graduated from HS in 1975. I played baseball and had very long hair in 1972. Coach said, 'Unless you cut your hair you will not play on my team.' Thinking how proud I was to stand up against the establishment by growing my hair long I told him I would not get it cut. He summarily cut me...
Boy, did I show him...
Now, all these years later I have many regrets in my life and you know what the biggest regret was? Yup, not getting a **** haircut! By far the dumbest thing I ever did...
Boy, did I show him...by not playing on his team...boy, did I show him...
Hair grows back...
If I said get an haircut or else he would.
However would that increase his talent or just give him an animosity toward his coach that would become
an unresolvable issue. Would the coach really treat him fairly at this point? He still has his Jr and Sr
year ma bey he will change his mind.
However would that increase his talent or just give him an animosity toward his coach that would become
an unresolvable issue. Would the coach really treat him fairly at this point? He still has his Jr and Sr
year ma bey he will change his mind.
Sorry, I first thought this was about the travel coach. I don't think a high school coach has the authority to tell a kid how long his hair can be. The NFHS can tell him how he has to wear it, but nobody, except his parents, can tell him how he has to cut it.
What if the coach says he wants all players to have mohicans, or their hair dyed black? Would everyone (parents) go along with that, too?
What if the coach says he wants all players to have mohicans, or their hair dyed black? Would everyone (parents) go along with that, too?
quote:Originally posted by Vicarious Dad:
What if the coach says he wants all players to have mohicans, or their hair dyed black? Would everyone (parents) go along with that, too?
V-dad,
Yes, then I would get a mohawk...
He doesnt need to get a hair cut. He doesnt need to play hs baseball. He needs to stand by his convictions and keep his hair if that is what is important to him. And then he needs to understand he is the one that will have to live with the decision that he has made.
When he cares enough about something to sacrifice in order to do it he will. Baseball is not important enough for a hair cut. Its that simple. With that attitude dont look for him to play past hs. I surely wouldnt waste my money on travel baseball in the summer on a kid who wouldnt get a hair cut to play hs baseball. Just play local rec league save your money for college tuition.
When he cares enough about something to sacrifice in order to do it he will. Baseball is not important enough for a hair cut. Its that simple. With that attitude dont look for him to play past hs. I surely wouldnt waste my money on travel baseball in the summer on a kid who wouldnt get a hair cut to play hs baseball. Just play local rec league save your money for college tuition.