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Below please find instructions for using the astronomical version of wearing a garter belt under your uniform. This method may stop slumps even better than the garter belt did for Ebbie Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh.

Have your son look at the photo. For a long time, like 10 seconds. Ask him what he thinks it is, then tell him what it is. Then tell him how big space is. When you give up trying to explain it, and he gives up trying to understand whatever it is that you just tried to say, tell your kid to get back in the box and swing from his heels at the first pitch he gets. Then repeat.

If that doesn't work, tell him that in 2 billion years, when our galaxy collides with the Andromeda galaxy, it won't matter anyway. The swing should fix itself right up.

You can thank me later.

  • President Joe Biden unveiled this image of galaxy cluster SMACS 0723, known as Webb’s First Deep Field, during a White House event Monday, July 11
  • Webb’s image covers a patch of sky approximately the size of a grain of sand held at arm’s length by someone on the ground – and reveals thousands of galaxies in a tiny sliver of vast universe
  • Webb’s sharp near-infrared view brought out faint structures in extremely distant galaxies, offering the most detailed view of the early universe to date
  • NASA and its partners will release the full series of Webb’s first full-color images and data, known as spectra, Tuesday, July 12, during a live NASA TV broadcast

"Don't be mean now because remember: Wherever you go, there you are..." Buckaroo Banzai

Last edited by smokeminside
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