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Here is one secret about college baseball. Many outstanding players are called but few actually get to play. Look at the numbers for any program. For example, 9 guys get to bat and a couple of guys get to pitch on a given day assuming the starter does not go nine innings. That is far less than the 35 guys on the roster. If you look at season stats, about 10 pitchers might see action and maybe 12 or 13 position players with many of them getting fewer than 20 at bats.
This is the reality; look at stats from year-to-year it will tell you the story. As to talking with players; the ones that get it will tell you what is going on. As to talking with parents; I have talked or should I say "listened to" parents that don't realize it isn't HS anymore. The best kids play; those that contribute get some playing time and those that they are being grooming for the future will get a shot.
Track rosters for a couple of years; you will generally see a patern. Kids that play "some" their freshman year then play more their sophomore year will generally be around. There are many a freshman that don't play their first year and then "choose" not to come back. Kids find new interests in college (education, frats, girls, travel abroad, etc.) once a kid finds out that they are not likely to get much play time, then they evaluate the importance of college ball. You can generally see the changes if you track rosters over a couple year period.
Recruiting is about getting as many options as possible so that the program can grow and succeed. There are never any real assurances that your kido will play.