Questions or Announcements?

CD,

I don't think you're off-base, but I think I'd modify your generalization about humility of parents and quality of players.

There are some parents here whose kids have accomplished amazing things, and often those parents come across as humble and classy and secure. However, I suspect even those parents had to go through some sort of journey to get to where they are.

The normal path for a parent of a kid who might have big time talent almost always includes a phase, sometimes quite lengthy, of anxiety and nervous excitement. This period in which a parent realizes his or her kid might be good and begins to dare to hope but doesn't really know how good is characterized--especially for the parent who is not a former college or pro player--by the search for external validation wherever it may be found.

This is normal. A lot of what comes across as hype is just a reflection of this nervous excitement, so I try to cut large amounts of slack to parents in this situation, knowing I'm not fully past this stage myself--and probably won't escape it for good until my son has thrown his last pitch.

Sure, the parent who posts a question on how to get the immediate attention of Stanford and Vanderbilt for his 12 year old phenom can come across as ridiculous. But as long as they don't start fighting with everyone who doesn't immediately acknowledge their son's unique greatness, most of the "What do I do with this amazing kid?" questions are just part of the ride.

So I think I'd say that the parents of extremely talented players eventually become humble. And this site helps them become that way.

I'm not offended by the "hey guess what, my son it going to play at X College next year". I'll celebrate with you, especially those who have shared their experiences along the way.

What I do get tired of is what you described - the faux question which is a thinly veiled brag. Feels manipulative.

I also COMPLETELY agree that baseball parents always have a humbling moment looming on the horizon. I made the comment on another thread that the best player's parents tend to be the most quiet at games. This is a corollary to your statement that the best player's parents tend to be humble.

quote:

Originally posted by Swampboy:
So I think I'd say that the parents of extremely talented players eventually become humble. And this site helps them become that way.

%100 agree.

That's the great part of the game, isn't it? I play a lot of golf, and there is a saying that no one owns the game; you just borrow it for stretches. Seems to me that saying was made for baseball. For the parents that hang around this site long enough, they begin to get it.

CD, you are right; I especially get a kick out the "questions" folks pose about what to do with their little superstar. I still like to read them, though; if they are just talking up little Johnny, IMO, they are harmless enough .

CD,

Recently, I noticed more and more posts such as the ones you describe. You're not off base. Swampboy did an excellent job of describing the way I see things. It usually takes alot to offend me. So, I give folks the benefit of the doubt until they no longer deserve it. The humbling effect takes care of most things. I can vouch for that. My son is a college baseball freshmen...."lower than whale sh*t" (his words). I consider him humbled.

Overall, the site seems very different from last year. I think everyone is upbeat and looking forward to the upcoming season. Last year, it seemed people were a little cranky and had some cabin fever.

Trust me, college baseball is the great equalizer. Try playing against Bryce Harper 9 games, then you'll be truly humbled.

Cd - I can see what you are saying. There do seem to be parents coming on and asking a question about specific things, but the real agenda is hype.

I lurked around this site for a very long time, before even feeling comfortable enough to join. It is very humbling, because no matter what your son has done in baseball, there are dozens of members who's accomplishments dwarf yours in comparison.

This site is really a unique place. I am awful glad I found it.

As someone with a son in likely the age range that you all refer to (2016) I can say it is definitely a learning experience and this board is therapy for me. I think all parents of boys in the youth leagues up until HS age are somewhat insecure in some way and it comes across in this manner. I have tried to tell folks about this site as it truly helps put things in perspective in a good way.

With that said I still fall into the trap sometimes. My son is on B team basketball and had an especially poor game the other night. I am sitting with dads and found myself talking about feeling bad for 2016 as he doesn't get to shine in school as no middle school baseball, blah,blah, blah. Realize now I must have sounded like a real jerk.

At least this site provides me a basis for a little self awareness.

quote:

"lower than whale sh*t" (his words).

Fenway, I got a big laugh out of your son's observation! It's so very true.

Everyone who shares that clubhouse with him was recruited there because it was believed that they could make the huge transition from high school to college baseball successfully. They all can play, and they all were standouts in high school. Virtually all of them were recruited by a variety of programs.

...and they come in as freshmen, in exactly the social status that your son described. That's part of the "huge transition."

Fortunately, most players and their families are aware and astute enough to see and adjust appropriately to the new environment; and they end up better for it. Sadly, a few never do.

I have a German Shorthaired Pointer , that when in her prime , was the best bird dog I have ever had . I took her hunting every week during the season , she was awsome . I got invited by a club , to bring her to a field trial . I drove 3 hours in a thunder storm and then we sat aroung all day waiting for our 15 mins . I was with a bunch of " dog club " people bragging about their dogs . Well I knew how good my dog was , and I told them . It was finally our moment , the time to show all these city dog club people what a hunting dog was . The man fired the gun and off we went , only problem my dog leaned on my leg for 15 minutes , she would not leave my side . She was scared to death of the horses ! I learned a great lesson that day .

Love that post. There are days your dog is going to be the best dog out there. There are days your dog is going to be a dawg. But he is still your dog and your still going to love him and support him no matter what. But I have always believed its better to sit back be quiet and let your dog do his own barking on the field. And if other people want to bark for him thats all good. But I have also found the more we bark for our dog the less other people want to bark for him.

quote:

Originally posted by Coach_May:
Love that post. There are days your dog is going to be the best dog out there. There are days your dog is going to be a dawg. But he is still your dog and your still going to love him and support him no matter what. But I have always believed its better to sit back be quiet and let your dog do his own barking on the field. And if other people want to bark for him thats all good. But I have also found the more we bark for our dog the less other people want to bark for him.

CM, you are something else, the above is priceless.

Fenway, I enjoyed that description, the freshman stud who comes into a program feeling like a stud is within one day humbled by meeting up with guys who are 3-4 years older, wiser and look like the stud you just did in HS compared to others. And surprise, they are just as good and sometimes better than you!

CD, your post is not too out of line, been here for a long time, it's easy to tell who generally needs help and who needs to drop some hype. In a way I can't blame them, after all we are all proud of our sons, we've all in some way been guilty of it, but we all get it eventually.

I also agree it's been a nice off season around here, pretty low keyed.

NopunchieJudys & Coach May,

Not sure it's a good idea to compare players to animals.

If a boy starts hearing himself compared to a fine hunting dog, he might develop an exaggerated view of his own importance.

Nice one Swampboy. And very true around these parts.

Great advice that was given by a dad of my sons teammate who went to Omaha 3 times and played minor league ball was ignore the kids who talk about their accolades at school. The braggers he said won't last and will be gone soon. Great advice.

I agree - IGBALL

The ones that turn the conversation AWAY from themselves have learned the humble lesson.

ya' know, someone told me and i can't remember who, that 50% of all freshmen college baseball players don't play their sophmore year. i believe there's a larger % than that imo, nevertheless its humbling to think about.like many of you state we all support our dogs er sons to the hilt and there's so much competition that as our young pups come up there are several doubting thomases in the stands,around practice fields,h.s. games and summer leagues and even scouts and coaches,that don't think as much about our K-9 as we do.so, i agree that we're here to help but we are hear to listen too. thanks for the topic CD.and btw can i take this time to hype my kid couldn't resist!

This is an excellent topic I wish I had read several years ago. My husband always told my son "let your playing do your talking". Fortunately, son paid more attention to dad than to mom! It's my husband's nature to be quiet about things. Me, not so much!! I'm learning though. This site helps. It gives perspective when you realize that every town in America has one player who is touted as "the next great player".

quote:

But I have always believed its better to sit back be quiet and let your dog do his own barking on the field.

All my dogs want to do is eat and nap

I am often amazed at how much unsolicited info is posted about some kids.

It does seem like there are a number of new posters and I am sure most will soon figure out that a low parental profile never hurt their kid's opportunities, whether its online or in the stands.

Doesn't matter if you know exactly how fast your son can throw the ball. If you tell a scout beforehand then your son isn't going to have it that day and you'll look like another dad with a Daddy Gun.

I've noticed the "announcements" trend also. I'm sure I've been guilty myself so I won't throw the first stone.

There are no guarantees in college baseball. Most of us have learned that by now, and the ones moving up to that level will learn it quickly. The best you can do is (quietly) root for your son to get the opportunity to prove himself, and when that opportunity arrives, do enough with it so that more of them keep coming. The high school days of being one of the the best players on the field end as soon as he steps on a college campus. Everybody gets plenty of chances, however, to be humbled, which is part of the learning experience for the young men and their parents. That lesson is as important as the ones involving hitting and pitching.

CD I didn't notice... I guess I better go back and check MY posts!

Guilty as charged! I think I was pretty straightforward, though...

CD, I promise to behave this year in the HS Season thread.

In all seriousness, it is a learning process. But this board has helped me learn to keep a more balanced perspective. The new folks will learn, too. They're just proud and excited and we all know how that feels.

Another lurker dad of a 2016 son here. As far as posters surreptitiously bragging, I get it. In fact, let me tell you about my stud seventh grader. Oh, wait ... at the team's first practice yesterday, he absolutely, positively, could NOT put the bat on the ball. Whale S##T was something to aspire to.

Baseball can humble a young man more than even ... a girl.

My biggest takeaway from this site, btw ... from ALL of y'all ... is to enjoy the ride; it goes fast. When we go to the parks and step onto the big boy fields now, and I recall that just yesterday, it seems, we were over there on 200 foot fences, I feel what you mean -- and that's what I try to keep in mind all the time, so thanks.

Anyone know what happened to that big young boy from South Carolina (I think) that at age 11 or 12 was going to be the next Babe Ruth? Lots of stories (even videos) about how he was dominating the little leagues around the country. He would be a HS age player by now. His proud dad seemed like a nice guy and meant well, I wonder how things turned out. Haven't seen him post in a long time.

From Dirk Hayhurst's blog..hysterical..not for the one playing the game:

"Thanks Mom

We saw things very differently, partially because we were on different sides of the country, and partially because bad news has a way of hitting harder depending on where you take the punch. She was standing on the front porch in a pair of fluffy slippers, surveying the wreckage. I was laying in a posh, big league hotel bed I was hoping to drown in.

My mother had called to tell of her latest elation. Her son making it to the bigs would already serve as an effective bragging point, the subject of many heavy-handed conversation transitions for the rest of her life. Now the pot was even sweeter. She had woken to SportsCenter highlights involving her darling boy. Her next round of boastful phone calls to beauty parlor girlfriends would involve, “my son, you know—the big leaguer—was on ESPN the other day…” From her perspective, this was quite the stroke of good fortune.

On my end of the line, chips were down. I’ve heard lots of players say they’ll feel like they’ve made it when they see finally themselves on an ESPN highlight. Well, I’m not sure ‘made it’ was the emotion I felt as my mother gleefully described Manny Ramirez turning my down and away to back and gone. Replay after replay after replay…

“You looked so good out there,” she beamed. “I was so proud! I knew how much it meant to you to be on ESPN!” She ended on an expectant note, as if I might uncork champagne at the news.

Instead, I rolled over and slammed a pillow atop my head. It was my hope I would wake up and remember nothing about the previous night. Maybe aliens would abduct me and plant a chip in by brain or something. I’d get up the next day, eat a good breakfast, read news about some far away country where home runs are punishable by death, then go to the park with a clean slate. But no, instead I wake up to a phone call from mother to rehash my latest nationally televised embarrassment.

Welcome to the big leagues.

“I’m sorry you’re so upset about it. I was sure you’d be excited,” she said, after a long pause from my end. She knows me, and when I don’t talk for long periods it means I don’t exactly feel like singing along with John Fogerty’s Center Field.

“Mom, think about what you’re asking me to be excited about. I didn’t make the news for rescuing a little old lady. I have an ERA of ten in the bigs, and Ramirez, of all people, hit a home run off me. It’s plastered all over the media.”

Keeping steady pace, she blurted, “Yes, but think of how many people would die for the opportunity to give up a home run to Manny Ramirez?”

“Mom, It’s not like we’re talking about eating all my broccoli because people in India would die to have it. This is my job. When I don’t produce, this is the consequence—prime-time loser highlights.”

I was pouting, I admit, but I was talking to my mommy after all. I heard her sigh and transfer the phone from one ear the other. Annoyed, she switched gears and dryly said, “Well, I’m sorry you feel that way. Your car was crushed by a tree last night.”

“WHAT!?”

“Yeah, we had a big wind storm last night and it knocked a tree onto your car.” She sighed.

“Wait, you’re serious.”

“Yes. Your car is crushed.”

“Define crushed?”

“You know what a hot dog bun looks like around a hot dog? Well, your car looks like that around the tree that fell on it.”

I sat up in my hotel bed, mouth open. Suddenly and without warning my car was totaled along with my ERA. I took the phone away from my head and looked at it as if it was some possessed object. Maybe it wasn’t my phone, maybe it was my mother? Slowly, I placed the receiver back to my ear and said, “Tell me, mom, after how bad I told you I’m feeling today, what made you think it was a good time to break that news to me?”

In a voice of cheerful oblivion came “I thought it would help you take your mind of last night’s game.”

Click."

Thanks infield! That is a classic story

quote:

Originally posted by PGStaff:
Anyone know what happened to that big young boy from South Carolina (I think) that at age 11 or 12 was going to be the next Babe Ruth? Lots of stories (even videos) about how he was dominating the little leagues around the country. He would be a HS age player by now. His proud dad seemed like a nice guy and meant well, I wonder how things turned out. Haven't seen him post in a long time.

It would be interesting to find out what happened to him.



I know a local father who popped into my mind when I read your post. His son is a good ballplayer for his age, but his father has unrealistic expectations and lets everyone know how little Johnny is going to be the next A-Rod. We were sitting together one day watching our sons play, and he announced that our sons would one day be professional ball players.
I casually replied "from your mouth to Gods ear".
When he fell silent I looked over at him and he had this look of bewilderment on his face.
He said, "what, you do not think our boys will be professionals, because I am dead serious". Needless to say my comment was not to say it was impossible, but it would be uncommon for our sons to become professionals since the odds are stacked against most kids, no matter how good they are at an early age.

He is also the guy who exaggerates his sons height by 3 inches and adds 25 lbs to him when filling out pre-showcase forms. I have no clue why he does it because his son is a good player, and does not need his father to go over the top. He loves his kid like we all do, but I have always subscribed to telling it like it is, not to exaggerate. Hopefully his son will play in college and beyond, but it will not be because his father likes to brag and exaggerate about him.

You make a good point, Vector. I think we've all seen this. When the player is good already, it's really a disservice to him exaggerate his height, or weight, or stats. When this happens, I tend to think that it's more about the parent than the player.

There always have been and always will be some parents who can't seem to help themselves; but, they should try.

We parents are not our sons' agents, and the people who subscribe most to that belief are the scouts and recruiters. Rightly or wrongly, college coaches tend to jump to the conclusion that the parent who's in his ear (or inbox) frequently touting their high school son's ability is the future college player's parent who'll have something to say about every decision they make regarding their son. As a result, I've seen coaches avoid players that they otherwise might recruit for this reason.

If there's a hierarchy of credibility among college coaches, their own eye and mind are at the top of the heap. Following that come other college coaches and scouts. Following that come the numerous baseball people who work with high school-aged players in a variety of capacities. Parents are not to be found anywhere on the list when it comes to evaluative comments about their son's baseball prowess.

quote:

Parents are not to be found anywhere on the list when it comes to evaluative comments about their son's baseball prowess.

NO WAY!!! THIS CAN NOT BE TRUE!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Prepster:
There always have been and always will be some parents who can't seem to help themselves; but, they should try.

We parents are not our sons' agents, and the people who subscribe most to that belief are the scouts and recruiters. Rightly or wrongly, college coaches tend to jump to the conclusion that the parent who's in his ear (or inbox) frequently touting their high school son's ability is the future college player's parent who'll have something to say about every decision they make regarding their son. As a result, I've seen coaches avoid players that they otherwise might recruit for this reason.

If there's a hierarchy of credibility among college coaches, their own eye and mind are at the top of the heap. Following that come other college coaches and scouts. Following that come the numerous baseball people who work with high school-aged players in a variety of capacities. Parents are not to be found anywhere on the list when it comes to evaluative comments about their son's baseball prowess.

Prepster - your contributions here are invaluable.

I'll offer another take for parents to consider. Coaches will talk to you and respect you (and your opinion) if you go about it the right way. If your kid is the greatest thing since sliced bread, it doesn't even take a coach (put yourself in their shoes) to filter that kind of stuff out.

If you approach them with humility and honestly ask them for their opinion on your son's ability, they'll also listen to you as well as long as it seems objective and respective that there are many other players out there with similar or better abilities.

I am sorry Prepster...I did not mean to distract or take away from your valuable post. Your posting here is most welcome and I am so happy that you have returned.

I agree 100% with you CD and apologise for my ill attempted humor.

Florida,

I'm sure Prepster wasn't talking about us.

Many thanks, CD...both for the compliment and the added comment.

I agree with you; but, I also think it's a challenge for many parents to stay within the very well-defined bounds you're suggesting they maintain. Because of that, I tend to recommend that parents stay away from the baseball topic, especially when it involves their son, as a general rule.

Thanks, also, floridafan. Actually, I got a good laugh when I saw your post. No apology necessary whatsoever.

...and the post I most agree with (including my own) is igball's! You're exactly right, igball!

On a slightly different angle, I've noticed over time the negative affects when a young man continues to play on a team where his dad coaches and (most importantly) cares only about his kid. There are many many excellent coaches who coach their own son and do an excellent job. I'm talking about that small segment who are only in the dugout to promote and breath the baseball fumes that their kid generates. Over time I've noticed that some of these kids have had trouble growing up. Not sure if there's a connection but it's at least an interesting coincidence.

quote:

What I do get tired of is what you described - the faux question which is a thinly veiled brag. Feels manipulative.

I also COMPLETELY agree that baseball parents always have a humbling moment looming on the horizon. I made the comment on another thread that the best player's parents tend to be the most quiet at games. This is a corollary to your statement that the best player's parents tend to be humble.

Speaking of which, we have one on the "General Items forum.

ok ok i get it no helicopter parents wanted.i agree that parameters are needed,exactly like a game situation we have to keep our emotions in check when talking to coaches,agents,scouts and all others working in different capacities with our kids.make no mistake it's an emotional topic. let jr. make his own decisions about recruiting visits,school selection,summer team, summer school,just about everything. but dont let him believe that he's not good enough because one of those people said so.
encouragement at every turn is the most important ingredient.our experience was quite different than most (maybe not), we had coaches doubt our boys' ability all along this journey, that is still going on.Work ethic is not one of the 5 tools and its like an inside joke, you had to be there.
no matter what we do as parents the player always has to prove himself again and again.just like your job, "what have you done for me lately"

Whoo if I could only go back with a roll of duct tape and keep my mouth shut on some certain occasions! I think we have all been there. I have learned when to be quiet and when to cheer as appropriate.
I am just thankful for my family's experience in sport. The game has taught my son, my daughters, myself. We have learned patience, tolerance, respect, humility, sadness, and also, unbelieveable joy.
I don't think I was ever the mommy who bragged her kid up, but I do have a voice that carries!