I don't recall seeing much about this, but how have others handled the roommate/s that do not contribute to food, power bills, etc? Son has one kid that drives a very nice car but never has money.
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Little more info might help clarify the situation... I'm guessing this is an apartment? Is this the first year rooming together? Are there other roommates? Was there an agreement made before they started rooming together? How well do they know each other?
I guess in general you'd have to handle this like any other situation... sit down and discuss the issue, lay out the expectations along with a resolution if those expectations aren't met - "I expect you to contribute $XX to the monthly expenses or you will have to move out by this date". But NOT paying is simply not an option.
"People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you" is the message we always pounded into our kids' heads.
I guess in general you'd have to handle this like any other situation... sit down and discuss the issue, lay out the expectations along with a resolution if those expectations aren't met - "I expect you to contribute $XX to the monthly expenses or you will have to move out by this date". But NOT paying is simply not an option.
"People will only treat you the way you allow them to treat you" is the message we always pounded into our kids' heads.
I would recommend having some kind of written agreement that is signed by all of the parties involved (parents, too if that's who is paying). Our son shared an apartment last year with 2 other players. One became academically ineligble after first semester and quit. The other family and us got stiffed for a third of the rent and utilities.
Lefty's I have heard of this a few times. Freshmen in most colleges have to room on campus which really helps. My son picked 2 very smart guys to room with from the team. They were also not on BB scholarship just academic money. Both were 4.0 students all 4 years. Neither were party guys but social guys. They all paid their share of the rent and bills on time. They were dream roommates.
Getting a dead beat roommate can really ruin a great experience. We were concerned of course but my son assured us these guys were a no Brianer.
I would present the dead beat guy with a written demand but other than small claims court there isn't a lot you can do but apply pressure. Having parents and roommate sign an agreement is a good idea. That way if you have to sue you can go after both with a reasonable chance of recovering the money. I deal with students from the Landlords point of view and my clients always have all parties on their agreements. They never have a problem.
Getting a dead beat roommate can really ruin a great experience. We were concerned of course but my son assured us these guys were a no Brianer.
I would present the dead beat guy with a written demand but other than small claims court there isn't a lot you can do but apply pressure. Having parents and roommate sign an agreement is a good idea. That way if you have to sue you can go after both with a reasonable chance of recovering the money. I deal with students from the Landlords point of view and my clients always have all parties on their agreements. They never have a problem.
Interesting topic
If the room is in a dorm on campus you can turn to the coach because in most cases he set up the room mates as freshman---many schools do an indepth study on player personalities and backgrounds before matching them up
If the room is in a dorm on campus you can turn to the coach because in most cases he set up the room mates as freshman---many schools do an indepth study on player personalities and backgrounds before matching them up
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What about regular students that are not athletes?
Does the school try to match up the most compatible roommate for them as well?
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Here's an old black and white snapshot of my college roommate...I only ever knew him as AWACS.
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Of course he only ever knew me as Eel Toes.
What about regular students that are not athletes?
Does the school try to match up the most compatible roommate for them as well?
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Here's an old black and white snapshot of my college roommate...I only ever knew him as AWACS.
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Of course he only ever knew me as Eel Toes.
If they are in a dorm on campus, the college collects a flat fee paid with tuition at the beginning of each semester. Don't pay in full you don't register for classes. If you don't pay early you run the risk of not getting the classes you want and may need.
Add to this the fact that many kids get cut after the fall. The year in the dorm gives you a chance to find reliable roommates.
My son's freshman roommate was from Dallas. He was very nice and a great student. He unfortunately was home sick and not much fun to room with. He was cut in his soph year and left.
One friend had 3 of his roommates cut in the beginning of their JR year. The new coaches advised him he had better look for new roommates. That was a real shocker.
Add to this the fact that many kids get cut after the fall. The year in the dorm gives you a chance to find reliable roommates.
My son's freshman roommate was from Dallas. He was very nice and a great student. He unfortunately was home sick and not much fun to room with. He was cut in his soph year and left.
One friend had 3 of his roommates cut in the beginning of their JR year. The new coaches advised him he had better look for new roommates. That was a real shocker.
Like I say all schools are not the same
When my guy went to NMSU Coach asked that I meet the roomie and his parents on the day we checked in--we, the roomie/parents and us, went together to purchase the needed items for the dorm room and then we all had dinner together.
My stepson went to Methodist and on check in day Coach had a brunch/barbecue for all the parents and incoming players
Nice touches---the registration aspects were handled by the baseball office in both situations
When my guy went to NMSU Coach asked that I meet the roomie and his parents on the day we checked in--we, the roomie/parents and us, went together to purchase the needed items for the dorm room and then we all had dinner together.
My stepson went to Methodist and on check in day Coach had a brunch/barbecue for all the parents and incoming players
Nice touches---the registration aspects were handled by the baseball office in both situations
As far as food, have your son get himself his own refrigerator for his room.then put all other of his food in closet.dont leave anything out.
Sit down and make a list of rules, contract have this kid sign it.Get the parents phone number and cal them and tell them hes not paying his share.
I cant believe the parenta arent giving the kid money.
start cutting the kid out of stuff, if he doesnt pay for cable , cut it off and have it in sons room and others who pay, make him lose out however you can. if its just the two of them do the refrig, and start sending his portion of bills to his parents. thta is unacceptable.
My son is in a freshmen suite, 8 guys, he is only sophmore in there, but its good, becaseu he is new and we wanted him on campus for the first year.Just easier.
but JC , lots dont have dorms so you have the apartment situation. good luck with that.
Sit down and make a list of rules, contract have this kid sign it.Get the parents phone number and cal them and tell them hes not paying his share.
I cant believe the parenta arent giving the kid money.
start cutting the kid out of stuff, if he doesnt pay for cable , cut it off and have it in sons room and others who pay, make him lose out however you can. if its just the two of them do the refrig, and start sending his portion of bills to his parents. thta is unacceptable.
My son is in a freshmen suite, 8 guys, he is only sophmore in there, but its good, becaseu he is new and we wanted him on campus for the first year.Just easier.
but JC , lots dont have dorms so you have the apartment situation. good luck with that.
What we did was put the electric bill in one roommates name, the cable in another, water bill in another, and so on so that everyone had skin in the game.
The grown-up solution has been presented, which is to sign contracts, but realistically that does not always work out. You have to be more strategic at times.
Lock up your food or eat somewhere else. I know that is a little more difficult for refrigerated stuff, but may be cheaper to get a small fridge to keep in your room, that you can put a lock on.
The most straightforward way to deal with it is to confront them and say "Look, we need to split these expenses. Otherwise our electricity is going to be turned off. Also, if you want to eat the food in the house, I need you to contribute to the grocery bill." If he says "I don't have any money." Then recommend he get a part-time job to pay for it.
The grown-up solution has been presented, which is to sign contracts, but realistically that does not always work out. You have to be more strategic at times.
Lock up your food or eat somewhere else. I know that is a little more difficult for refrigerated stuff, but may be cheaper to get a small fridge to keep in your room, that you can put a lock on.
The most straightforward way to deal with it is to confront them and say "Look, we need to split these expenses. Otherwise our electricity is going to be turned off. Also, if you want to eat the food in the house, I need you to contribute to the grocery bill." If he says "I don't have any money." Then recommend he get a part-time job to pay for it.
There are some good ideas.
For me it is unthinkable that this should have to be addressed. Your roommates are a huge part of the overall experience. I feel for anyone in this position. After 3 years they are closer than brothers. My son's roommates drove him everywhere and I made sure he over paid for the gas.
For me it is unthinkable that this should have to be addressed. Your roommates are a huge part of the overall experience. I feel for anyone in this position. After 3 years they are closer than brothers. My son's roommates drove him everywhere and I made sure he over paid for the gas.
Been there and done all of that. It really depends on what the situation is.
If you are in the dorms, it is the easiest, room and most utilities are paid for, you may have internet, cable and phone to split based on what the school provides. Meal plans take care of the bulk of the meals. Snacks and drinks could be shared or bought individually.
When living off campus as a freshman, I had bought him a meal plan so he could eat on campus mingle with others on campus and did not have to mess with cooking in the condo. The upper class roommates each bought their own food. The rent, cable, internet, and utilities went to one parent and all the parents paid the one. There was one member of the condo that transferred to another college after the fall, but he continued to pay his portion of the rent for the spring semester and summer.
When living in a house, the guys took care of all the bills themselves, one paid the rent, another paid all the utilities. They split the cost between all the members and each would pay the other members to even out the cost. They would split all the cost of the food, they would make Costco runs as needed and they would all pull out their debit cards and Costco would split the bill evenly.
In another situation, each of the guys would send their checks into the landlord and they would buy their own individual food, the utilities, cable, and internet were divided up between the members and they would compensate each other to balance the cost between the guys.
Bottom line, as other have stated, it is a growing process for them to learn how to work as a team, if they can’t figure out how manage the living arrangements, they will have a tough time working as a team on the baseball field. If they need to draw-up a contract, so be it, but the most important learning process for them is to sit down and openly discuss the situation and work it out.
If you are in the dorms, it is the easiest, room and most utilities are paid for, you may have internet, cable and phone to split based on what the school provides. Meal plans take care of the bulk of the meals. Snacks and drinks could be shared or bought individually.
When living off campus as a freshman, I had bought him a meal plan so he could eat on campus mingle with others on campus and did not have to mess with cooking in the condo. The upper class roommates each bought their own food. The rent, cable, internet, and utilities went to one parent and all the parents paid the one. There was one member of the condo that transferred to another college after the fall, but he continued to pay his portion of the rent for the spring semester and summer.
When living in a house, the guys took care of all the bills themselves, one paid the rent, another paid all the utilities. They split the cost between all the members and each would pay the other members to even out the cost. They would split all the cost of the food, they would make Costco runs as needed and they would all pull out their debit cards and Costco would split the bill evenly.
In another situation, each of the guys would send their checks into the landlord and they would buy their own individual food, the utilities, cable, and internet were divided up between the members and they would compensate each other to balance the cost between the guys.
Bottom line, as other have stated, it is a growing process for them to learn how to work as a team, if they can’t figure out how manage the living arrangements, they will have a tough time working as a team on the baseball field. If they need to draw-up a contract, so be it, but the most important learning process for them is to sit down and openly discuss the situation and work it out.
Our situation was simple. The one roommate paid everything and gave the other 2 an amount that was their share of all bills. My son and the other roommate gave the guy who paid a cheque to cover their portion, There was total trust . My son knew both from freshman year and as I said they were part of the great experience. The one stopped playing BB after his soph year but he was staying at the school.
I just paid the final portion of the hydro bill a month ago. The guys are all over the place but still talk almost every day.
I just paid the final portion of the hydro bill a month ago. The guys are all over the place but still talk almost every day.
My son did the same with his roomates (after moving out from dorm), everyone had a bill to be responsible for, and they made up the difference in other ways.
For off campus housing at many schools, each individual student is responsible for their own portion of the entire rent. Those that don't pay get their rooms locked, not everyone has to suffer if one doesn't pay.
Food was seperate and their own responsibilty.
PUHD,
The player most likely has money, but is probably using it for other things, that would be a concern, and if he doesn't come up with his portion, call the parents. no reason why you should foot the bill.
For off campus housing at many schools, each individual student is responsible for their own portion of the entire rent. Those that don't pay get their rooms locked, not everyone has to suffer if one doesn't pay.
Food was seperate and their own responsibilty.
PUHD,
The player most likely has money, but is probably using it for other things, that would be a concern, and if he doesn't come up with his portion, call the parents. no reason why you should foot the bill.
Folks, I should have given more information but many answers here covered most of problem. The kids share an apartment with each one responsible for their third of the rent, under contract with landlord. No problem there. There are three BB players in apartment, all freshman. My son knew the one roommate from summer ball, the other is from another part of country. We have the power/heat in our name, son gets money from one roommate (the deadbeat) and other roommate's parents send us his third. The main issue is the food, the kid isn't contributing to food and he is a big boy.I really don't believe the story he gives about not having money.Has a very nice car, but oh he can't drive it because his license is suspended, he hitches rides to school. Not sure how he gets around when he goes off somewhere without roomies. See a pattern here.Thank you all for the good advice.
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Well if his car is anything like this one he won't get far without his roomies helping out.
Pedal to the metal boys!
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quote:Originally posted by Pop Up Hitter dad:
Not sure how he gets around when he goes off somewhere without roomies.
Well if his car is anything like this one he won't get far without his roomies helping out.
Pedal to the metal boys!
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Hide the food. get a refrig. for his room, get a lcok for his door.My son lived with friends last year, they still are friends.They each had a lock on their bedroom door, and they had their own refrigerators in their room. My son put all his pantry stuff in his room.it wasnt only the roomates, but when comoany came over they would hit the food as well.Cut it off. each does their own food.
The rule was and still is that no one ever "contributed" to food (unless a group cookout), that you always took care of on your own.
We always bought into the meal plan for son, most schools have commuter plans, for those living off campus.
He has no business eating others food, for most guys, that's crossing the line.
We always bought into the meal plan for son, most schools have commuter plans, for those living off campus.
He has no business eating others food, for most guys, that's crossing the line.
Deciding upon roommates can be downright vexing~!
Seems the other two roommates smoke the weed. Could that be the reason why they are broke? I thought weed was supposed to be cheap. The bums even offered to share it with son, how generous.
I'd be making new arrangements. Saw a few guys get tossed for smoking pot. One got high and jumped off a roof busting his ankle. They saw he was high and tested him. Gone the next day. I suspected drugs because he muscled over night and was very intense. Much more than usual.
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Please check local and state ordinances regarding conceal/carry restrictions before using.
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Please check local and state ordinances regarding conceal/carry restrictions before using.
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I wish they would make mandatory drug testing in Jr college.That would nip a lot of this.PUHD, is there any other living arrangement? Sounds like your son is really giving it a good effort, and this is what occurs at a lot of JC.Maybe at the 4 year,but they have more fear of being tested.If they get caught they get a year suspension.
If he has to stay there,just tell him to hold his head up and not get caught up in it.its tough, and it was one of the things I didnt like that occured as well. in
If he has to stay there,just tell him to hold his head up and not get caught up in it.its tough, and it was one of the things I didnt like that occured as well. in
When we moved son in this year, he locked all his food in his closet. He learned last year what happens when he leaves and his roommates buddies come over!
It looks like the best we can hope for is to lock up his food and hang on as I know son doesn't want to leave. We have a 10 month lease so moving is not an option. I like fans take, drug testing would weed out the dopers. Thanks all.
Talked to son about this. They all had their own mini fridge but they didn't use them. They shopped together, split the bill 3 ways and anything they bought themselves was shared. If it went in the big fridge it was common property. They tended not to take those items without asking as a common courtesy. Their girl friends also ate there often and they usually cooked a nutritious home meal for the boys.
My son also had a full meal plan (free) which he could eat anytime up to midnight. He said it got a little old after a few months Not much variety. They also ate out a lot.
A couple night ago my son and his fiancé were entertaining a former teammate in Wilmington NC who had quit in freshman year and was now a Marine. Cooked him a meal and had a great time. We have to be careful we don't turn our boys into misers.
The drug thing is a whole different problem . It is also disrespectful of a roommate to mooch off his roommates. I would get my son out of there at the 1st opportunity.
I also thought all colleges did drug testing.
My son also had a full meal plan (free) which he could eat anytime up to midnight. He said it got a little old after a few months Not much variety. They also ate out a lot.
A couple night ago my son and his fiancé were entertaining a former teammate in Wilmington NC who had quit in freshman year and was now a Marine. Cooked him a meal and had a great time. We have to be careful we don't turn our boys into misers.
The drug thing is a whole different problem . It is also disrespectful of a roommate to mooch off his roommates. I would get my son out of there at the 1st opportunity.
I also thought all colleges did drug testing.
PHdad; my son's first roommate was big on the weed. The good part was he was gone by Halloween (up in smoke I guess?) so M had the room to himself. best wishes;
I guess he could say, "dang, my food keeps getting ripped off. Maybe someone is breaking in here and stealing it. I guess I'll call the cops and have them come 'sniff' around this place the very next time something is missing."
I guess he could say, "dang, my food keeps getting ripped off. Maybe someone is breaking in here and stealing it. I guess I'll call the cops and have them come 'sniff' around this place the very next time something is missing."
As I had mentioned earlier, he has the money, he was spending it on something else.
Many schools have rules for athletes about testing positive for weed or drugs, many give one game or semester suspensions. Some have 3 strike rules, others one and done. Read up on the schools policy.
PUHD, your son and other roommates should try to seperate themselves from him as much as possible.
Many schools have rules for athletes about testing positive for weed or drugs, many give one game or semester suspensions. Some have 3 strike rules, others one and done. Read up on the schools policy.
PUHD, your son and other roommates should try to seperate themselves from him as much as possible.
quote:Many schools have rules for athletes about testing positive for weed or drugs, many give one game or semester suspensions. Some have 3 strike rules, others one and done. Read up on the schools policy.
Junior colleges do not test.They arent regulated the same as The D1 schools.There IS NO testing. Kids know it and therfore what do you expect?Many will do it.n
Fan is right, no testing and these guys know it too. Now I know why people think D1,D2 and D3 are better schools. The ones who work at both grades and sports belong there IF they can afford it. It all makes sense now.
I'd be looking for another apartment and helping my son break the lease. How is he going to prove that he isn't partaking in the weed if the cops come?
I have a friend who’s son is a very high prospect, his son was assigned roommates by the school his freshman year into a on campus pod. There was a player who was caught by security with illegal substance in the pod and was expelled from school (scholarship and all), the security and head coach also came down on all the other guys in the pod because they were coming out of the pod when security caught the player, but other members said they were not part of what the offending player was doing, the coach did not believe them. The players could not convince the coach and were so upset that the coach did not take them for their word, they said if he did not believe them he should have them tested for the illegal substance, bottom line, the other players were cleared, but their relationship has not quite been the same.
FWIW, another parent here told me his son was randomly tested at a JUCO, different state.
My son is very concerned he could get in trouble living with pot smokers. I know we as parents cannot get involved with coach etc. Does anyone have any experience as a coach with this sort of issue?