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Whits23

I want him to play Varsity and think he can hold his on.BUT we're a 2A school in a small town and the parents are NOT happy thinking he MAY jump their kids for a spot.

 

I think he is being considered for a starting position and would pitch too.He is throwing 85 (RHP) with 88 bat speed and 7.3/60 but how do I handle the parents?

I've been through this. I also got travel ball started in the area. My son was the kid who was labeled the kid  too good to play with their kids. I kept my mouth shut even when parents trashed my son. By junior year parents raved about my son to me. But the coach decides where your son plays. So stop worrying.

Originally Posted by What?:

I have a 14 yr old 2017 kid.The coach wants to put him on varsity as a freshman. Do you think this is a good idea??

 

In my experience which of course is limited, a Fr is going to be put on the V for one or more of the following reasons.

 

1) It’s a school where there’s not a whole lot of talent to work with. Maybe it’s a small school. Maybe it’s a school with a poor program that doesn’t draw good players. Maybe its in an area that’s sparsely populated. Maybe it’s a new school.

 

2) The coach believes the player won’t be a regular, but has some special talent he can use often enough so he’ll get reasonable playing time and experience.

 

3) The coach believes he won’t be a regular but plans on supplementing his experience with play on the JV team during the season.

 

5) The coach believes the boy will be a regular and wants him to get as much experience on the V ASAP.

 

6) The kid is flat out a stud and playing at the lower level would be a waste of his time.

 

7) There’s some kind of nepotism going on, like the coach is the kid’s uncle or the principal’s son.

 

In any case, at some point you’re gonna have to trust that the coach has his reasons for using the players the way he does. If you really want know what those reasons are, the 1st thing you have to do is wait until he’s picked. Once that happens, all you need to do is schedule a meeting with the coach and talk to him about it. My guess is, once that happens you’ll understand what’s going on a lot better and be much more comfortable with what’s going on.

Originally Posted by TPM:

There is no need for a parent to schedule a meeting to discuss the situation, the rest of the stuff I agree with.

 

Sure there’s no REAL need to talk about it with the coach because likely nothing will change. But I’m sure most coaches would rather have the parent talk to them face to face in private rather than to sit in the bleachers asking other parents what they thought, or to be asking the kid questions he may well not have the answers to. If there was no need to talk to the coach, why is it that every coach parent meeting I’ve ever heard of or attended asks the parents to do just that?

At my school one of the first rules I put in place as AD for all sports is there will be no discussions about playing time nor position with parents.  Now if the player wants to have that discussion that is what should happen.  If the parents wish to coach up the kid on what / how to ask that is how it should be. 

 

A 2A school in NC will have around + / - 900 - 1000 kids.  While a freshman playing and starting for a team like this is a pretty good accomplishment it's not unheard of.  As for the other parents not being happy with your son playing / staring over their kids - do you really want your kid to take a back seat just so you won't have to feel bad sitting in the bleachers?  High school will fly by so do you really want to take an already small window of your son's playing time and make it smaller?

Originally Posted by Stats4Gnats:

Originally Posted by TPM:

There is no need for a parent to schedule a meeting to discuss the situation, the rest of the stuff I agree with.

 

Sure there’s no REAL need to talk about it with the coach because likely nothing will change. But I’m sure most coaches would rather have the parent talk to them face to face in private rather than to sit in the bleachers asking other parents what they thought, or to be asking the kid questions he may well not have the answers to. If there was no need to talk to the coach, why is it that every coach parent meeting I’ve ever heard of or attended asks the parents to do just that?

 

I can't speak for other coaches, but I would 100% prefer parents speak amongst themselves than speak to me, as a coach.

 

The only time I have ever heard of a "parent meeting" with a coach was during financial conversations during college recruiting. 

My son attends a 6a school and lots of kids in our region play on varsity as freshmen and like said at a 2a school i would expect a lot of them too.

 

Our program may also have the best player at each position and the 3rd best on varsity whille the 2nd best is on jv for playing time. You should see parents on varsity when the jv player comes up to take the starting spot instead of the back up.

 

I would also say regardless of where a kid starts the season is not as important as where he finishes and when your kid wins games on the mound parents and kids will accept him fast.

If he works hard and is a good teammate, and you are NEVER negative about any player, no one should jump on him if he has a bad day. Because that's baseball. 

 

If he truly will play and not sit the bench, let him and keep positive (for everyone).  If you are uncomfortable in the bleachers, find yourself a nice comfy lawn chair and set up camp out by the left field fence.

 

He will have some tough times but he'll work through it.  You actually want him to have tough times now when the stakes are low. They will be what prepare him for when he has a slump as a Junior or is overwhelmed by the talent at the college level, or has a setback in a job, etc. 

 

Originally Posted by mcmmccm:

Been there done that. Be the best fan of every player. Attend and support vigorously the JV games as well. Keep your son humble and gracious. And tell him to out work everyone else on the team ie. Field maintenance, carry equipment etc...

+1

 

If the coach believes he needs your son on the varsity, other parents' opinions are irrelevant. Sadly, there will always be a few parents who insist upon denigrating the play of players who have been elevated above their own. It happens at all levels and should be ignored.

 

Also, I hate to say it, but all good players are repeatedly thrust into challenging playing environments...again, at all levels You have to trust the coach's judgment and recognize that even the best players fail with some regularity. However, they also grow through the experience and improve.

 

Congratulations... and best of luck to your son!

 

Originally Posted by What?:
...

I think he is being considered for a starting position and would pitch too.He is throwing 85 (RHP) with 88 bat speed and 7.3/60 but how do I handle the parents?

What?...

Great advice and comments so far.  I'm going to play the bad guy for just a moment here.  If you are the guy in the stands talking about what your son's FB is clocked at and what his bat speed and 60 time is, that will not qualify you for the very good "stay humble and gracious and support the whole team" advice given.

The other parents will dislike you and hold it against your son, no matter how great a kid he might be.

Originally Posted by coach2709:

At my school one of the first rules I put in place as AD for all sports is there will be no discussions about playing time nor position with parents.  Now if the player wants to have that discussion that is what should happen.  If the parents wish to coach up the kid on what / how to ask that is how it should be. 

 

I don’t get it. You’d rather have parents in the bleachers stirring up trouble, rather than have coaches talk to parents and explain the system? Why? Not every parent/coach discussion is about Johnny’s playing time, but even if it was, what’s the problem with having a general explanation as to how playing time is handed out? It sure sounds like we’re getting back to the authoritarian mode of coaching where it completely my way or the highway. Seems pretty petty and silly to me.

HA HA >.. because parents dont listen its a no win situation...parents are not on the team or part of the team...players and coaches are the TEAM ..the only exception i have ever made is i have told the HS coach that if its HEALTH related i feel i have the right to talk to him...other than that there is nothing i need to discuss.....In the off season we will talk about future schools..placement etc as it relates to where our player and family would like to have information sent 

Originally Posted by What?:

Whits23

I want him to play Varsity and think he can hold his on.BUT we're a 2A school in a small town and the parents are NOT happy thinking he MAY jump their kids for a spot.

 

I think he is being considered for a starting position and would pitch too.He is throwing 85 (RHP) with 88 bat speed and 7.3/60 but how do I handle the parents?

 Both my kids experienced this their freshman years.  The good players on the baseball team want the best players on the field they can find, and they will welcome a kid that can hit and/or play good defense.  Both my kids found upper-class allies very quickly.  Don't worry about the envious people, just move forward and make every effort to be humble (on the outside).  Your son will grow up as a player much faster playing with the older kids.  Enjoy.

for the record that is not my post it is one i responded too...also be nice on the way up cause you may see the same kids on the way down...many a kids make varsity as freshmen then a kid beats them out a couple years later...stay humble my friend...and stop quoting mph.times etc as already stated...most parents are wrong about them and most coaches dont care LOL...

For the purpose of the OP's question I'll answer this.  But it's several months in the future so it is really not worth talking about.

 

Speaking as a parent of a 2017 in the same position... I'm not even worried about it. I know that parents will talk when my son does well and even more so when he does not. But I won't be able to hear it from my seat, way out in left field.

 

He was called up and played on the 16u/17u HS summer team for about 10 games this year.  The varsity coach started him and he hit in the middle of the line-up, which I thought was great as it put my guy into the fire a little bit.  I imagine the coach wanted to get a look at a future player and how he performs under pressure.  He did mostly well.

 

I got plenty of questions from the parents of varsity players at the games.  "Do you expect him to start on varsity next year?"  I laughed when I heard that question.  I replied, "I expect him to play baseball next year.  At which level, freshman, JV or varsity is up to the coaches".  I realize that the parents of the varsity players that sat on the bench this year are concerned that if my son plays at that level their kid may ride the pine.  But that's not my problem, nor my son's.  That will be the decision of the coaches when it's made.

 

And for what it's worth... I do not plan on discussing anything with the coaches concerning their decision.  That will be for my son to handle.  Personally, I hope he plays on JV as the coach is a very good "teacher" of the game and a year with that coach will help my son as he moves forward.

Originally Posted by What?:

I have a 14 yr old 2017 kid.The coach wants to put him on varsity as a freshman. Do you think this is a good idea??

My 2016 was a freshman, position starter at our 8A school last season. It was a great experience and honor. The only thing that was an issue with me was the exposure to the social aspects of the upperclasmen... I was constantly in my kid's ear reminding him that although he was playing and competing against 18-19 year olds, he just turned 15 and simply not allowed to do the things that they were allowed to do (or get away with)... We ended up losing our district championship game (2-0) to the eventual 8A State Champs, so it was pretty cool to see him compete and succeed at a higher level than he ever had before. Good luck!

NYdad2017- good post

 

I agree, it is months away.  Not really worth to much discussion; but I guess I don't understands OPs question.

 

Do you have a choice?  If the HS coach says I want him on Varsity; what do you do?

Do you refuse and ask if he can play JV?

 

My plan is this: drive the car until he can drive himself.

After that I have no impact on him playing Varsity/JV or being cut.

His Grades, attitude, character, work-ethic and health will decide that on its own.

 

I will just pray that the path taken is the one best for him and sit back and enjoy the show.  :0)

Originally Posted by Stats4Gnats:

Originally Posted by coach2709:

At my school one of the first rules I put in place as AD for all sports is there will be no discussions about playing time nor position with parents.  Now if the player wants to have that discussion that is what should happen.  If the parents wish to coach up the kid on what / how to ask that is how it should be. 

 

I don’t get it. You’d rather have parents in the bleachers stirring up trouble, rather than have coaches talk to parents and explain the system? Why? Not ever parent/coach discussion is about Johnny’s playing time, but even if it was, what’s the problem with having a general explanation as to how playing time is handed out? It sure sounds like we’re getting back to the authoritarian mode of coaching where it completely my way or the highway. Seems pretty petty and silly to me.


I am going to assume that coaches go over this in their meeting with parents/players before the season begins at some point and this would be part of the discussion.

My advice is if parents are having an issue with YOUR player getting playing time, then let that parent go to the coach.  If your son is playing why would there need to be a conversation.

If it is about lack of playing time, the PLAYER needs to speak to the coach about what he has to do to get in the game, not mom or dad.

I don't get your comment my way of the highway, regardless of coaches rules, players have to learn to handle this on their own. The only exception should be if injury.

My son is about to be a freshman in HS.  I have an older son starting college this weekend so I have been through the HS sports thing.  First of all in our area just making the frosh team is an honor (large HS with over 4,000 students).

 

At every single parent meeting we have had with my older son the first thing out of every coaches mouth was, "This is my team and I make the decisions.  I will not discuss cuts, playing time, positions, etc with any parent.  If your son has a question please tell them to see me.  I will be more then happy to have discussions about why they were cut or what they need to do to play a certain position or anything along those lines with the kids but I will not discuss them with a parent". 

 

It seems like every coach had been given the same script.  As I happen to be personal friends with some of the coaches (my wife is an administrator in the district) I can tell you that they will keep to their word to not discuss team decisions with parents.  I can also tell you that they discuss amongst themselves which parents are PITA's and don't believe them when they give them "the speech".

 

I am thoroughly looking forward to watching the parents faces this weekend when the football coach makes the speech.  There are a number of parents who are problem parents at my youngest son's level.  A few of them have already been watching practice from the parking lot and are already thinking they can control the team.  None of them have a child who has gone through the HS yet. 

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