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So how did you know it was the right fit

TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
We're always talking about the right fit for our players.
So how about you, what made you decide it was the right fit for you as the parent. Big Grin
For me it wasn't the field, it wasn't the football stadium, it wasn't 80K people packed into a town that normally holds 16K. Three things stuck in my mind that day. The orange paws on Lake Hartwell Bridge that led up to the back of the stadium, that Tiger Rag and the sand traps on the golf course shaped like the a tiger paw. Those three things did it for me plus the look on sons face all weekend like he just fell in love for the very first time.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiZ8IPDVFNs&NR=1

I know it's about them, but just for fun, what little things hooked you into where your son would go to school and play baseball.
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FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
It is about what is right for HIM but the things we enjoyed in addition to that --

Spirit the Eagle: Spirit


The facilities: Named #1 collegiate baseball facility in the nation 2 of the 3 years he was there.




The town of Auburn: Packing 150,000 people into a town of 50,000 on football weekends.

The fine people of Auburn, Alabama

"WAR EAGLE!"
Fungo
Last edited by Fungo
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
For us parents, it wasn't football (cuz there's not any) or the fraternities (cuz there's not any) or the vibrant campus life (cuz on a campus of 2,000, there are limited extra-curricular opportunities). Instead, we were blown away by the personal character and integrity that we sensed in the coaches, which was corroborated by many current players and their parents. The coaches put at least as much effort into the character and spiritual development of their players as they do baseball development. They have said on more than one occasion that their goal is to mold the players into wonderful future husbands and fathers, not just wonderful baseball players. That was the clincher for us!

(And it didn't hurt that they were a 2-seed in an NCAA Regional this past May! Wink)
Last edited by Infield08
KrakatoaKrakatoa1,000+ posts
In no particular order:

It had the student body size son said he'd be most comfortable with.

Top-tier academics.

Excellent baseball team with coaches that have respect far and wide, are able to place many of their guys in solid summer leagues, and build scouting buzz in their top performers.

Beautiful campus, great city.

A program where he was told he will likely be able to contribute right away.

Warm weather state.

Josh Beckett Smile
Last edited by Krakatoa
shortstopmomshortstopmom1,000+ posts
Known for being one of the hardest working teams in the state. No frills, just the necessities.
Coaches are go-to guys and well respected for what we considered " the right things ".
Development of the players was key,.....and with complete honesty,...they win.
( We never,
ever,
won in highschool,
...ever.)
Four years of loosing grates on the ol' nerves..
( Understatement of the year!- My head still twitches at times.-ha! )

The enthusiasm of the faculty.
The spirit and support of the town.

....and last, but not least, I'll admit it,..I too love those tiger paws!!!
Last edited by shortstopmom
FungoFungoHighly Regarded and Beloved Old Timer
quote:
Did you go watch him play or visit? If so, were there any particulars that YOU liked about HIS school and baseball program?


Good point! After all that was the question. Big Grin

By the way I have seen players that love their college, their team, and their coach and the parents hate all three. It fit the player --- but obviously didn't fit the parents.
Fungo
DE Double Eagle100+ posts
1) On non-baseball related visit he loved the campus. I was not present but I was told that the sun was setting over the mountains which framed the baseball field. Players were walking up from practice with smiles on their faces.
2)Great academics.
3)Intellect and reputation of coach.
4)Consistent winners - (it is so hard to keep spirits up when they consistently lose)
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
And my answer was it was a good fit for me because he wanted to be there.

In my mind all I, as the parent, need worry about is the fit with the checkbook, nothing more nothing less. After all it is his life not mine

No I never saw a single game but I heard very one on the internet.

His coaches, thought at other schools now, are still great friends of mine.


Hey !!! Isn't more important that the kid likes the school and baseball program rather than worrying a "fit" for the parent---to me it is!!!
J JT1,000+ posts
All I can say is "it just felt right...to both of us." I actually could visualize him playing on the field at the school. Sure it was in our town...but in 5 1/2 years I had never set foot on the campus, let alone seen the field. The coach was up front and laid it all out there for us...and we both felt he would get "an honest look."
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
There is no one here who doesn't preach more about the player lovin' where he is goin' more than I.

I just thought it would be nice to find out what parents enjoyed most about the school their sons are attending or attended. Or what they didn't like.

It's really a no brainer topic, meant for nothing else but for fun, not even for debate or arguments.
S SnowHillCatcher2410+ posts
Perhaps, a "good fit" for a parent goes way beyond baseball. For me it does. After just 3 weeks, I already see a tremendous amout of growth and maturity in my son. Sure, I love the game and the thrill of seeing my son step onto the field for the first time as a NCAA D1 student athlete, but more importantly,the whole experience is providing a strong foundation on which to build the rest of his life. Hard work, discipline, competition, success, failure too. They even have sessions on leadership development. All this will build character and real life patterns of success. That's a real good fit, from my perspective.

A happy dad
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
quote:
Sure, I love the game and the thrill of seeing my son step onto the field for the first time as a NCAA D1 student athlete, but more importantly,the whole experience is providing a strong foundation on which to build the rest of his life. Hard work, discipline, competition, success, failure too. They even have sessions on leadership development. All this will build character and real life patterns of success. That's a real good fit, from my perspective.


observer44observer441,000+ posts
.
quote:
Originally posted by Infield08:
quote:
Sure, I love the game and the thrill of seeing my son step onto the field for the first time as a NCAA D1 student athlete, but more importantly,the whole experience is providing a strong foundation on which to build the rest of his life. Hard work, discipline, competition, success, failure too. They even have sessions on leadership development. All this will build character and real life patterns of success. That's a real good fit, from my perspective.




44
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FutureBack.MomFutureBack.Mom1,000+ posts
(1) It was my alma mater so I knew the quality of education he would receive;
(2) It was close to home so we could follow his college career;
(3) It was a school where the coaches would give him a chance to make a place for himself early on, not pigeon holing him as the typical freshman, but actually giving him a chance.
(4) Did I mention it was my alma mater?
TRhitTRhit10,000+ posts
shortstopmom

The question would not have been raised if certain parents did not have concern that their sons choice was the same as the parents---just read the posts--- "my alma mater"; "it is close to home" etc

I could have sent my son to my alma mater, a 40 minute drive from where we lived in NY, but he wanted to go to Las Cruces , New Mexico---was momma happy ? --NO WAY-- was I happy YES--why? because had made a decision on his own and was truly comfortable with his choice.
J jbbaseball500+ posts
Somtimes you have to settle for less than the "ideal" (like in life)......

son's top 2 choice schools (DI's) had no baseball opportunities.

Son wanted to continue playing baseball in the worst way. Had some D3 opps that he wasn't interested in. Ultimately he received only 1 DI offer. Loves the baseball program, players, coaches, field, etc. But,,,,,,quite simply, he decided to compromise on the other items (social/academic issues).

Guess what I'm saying is that he didn't find the perfect fit, or some may question even the right fit. But, at least for now, it was the best fit.....time will tell how it truly plays out.
Last edited by jbbaseball
observer44observer441,000+ posts
.

A thought about the right/perfect fit...

Since (as rz1 has posted) this all stuff runs off a bell curve...

IMO while fortunate few do achieve the perfect 4 year fit...a nirvana where baseball, coaches, weather, academics, culture, cost, geography, girls...all are perfect from the "get go"...and the young man calls home the first day and every day for 4 years to say he is pinching himself...

I would submit that for parents who have not been there yet, seeing post after post about the perfect fit can be intimidating/frustrating...IMO it is good to remember there are many more fits (the majority) that are well thought out, well intentioned compromises of some sort...weighing and blending challenges and opportunities...not because they want to, but becausee they have to...hoping that the challenges do not "bite" to deeply and that the young man will make the most of the opportunities presented...that he will grow with his situation.

As this is the case, it is good to remember that for the majority there is a story to be played out...and I would submit that for many, they will not know if they found the perfect fit for some time...maybe after the first or second year...when you really have an opportunity to see how the young man faces his challenges and grows. What may seem like the perfect fit going in may not be so, and a compromise choice might indeed be the perfect fit in the long run...often for reasons one could never have predicted or planned for. Part of this is getting the right blend. Part of this is trusting your young man and the character you have instilled and encouraged in him...to overcome adversity, face challenges and deamons and situations that are not set up for him...and grow.

Certainly we all want the best, certainly we all want to set it up just right...But perhaps it's important to remember that in the end the right/perfect fit might just be your son most anywhere...maybe in the end its the man who makes the opportunity...not just the perfect opportunity that makes the man...

Cool 44
.
Last edited by observer44
ClevelandDadClevelandDadHSBBWeb Administrator
quote:
Originally posted by observer44:
.

A thought about the right/perfect fit...

Since (as rz1 has posted) this all stuff runs off a bell curve...

IMO while fortunate few do achieve the perfect 4 year fit...a nirvana where baseball, coaches, weather, academics, culture, cost, geography, girls...all are perfect from the "get go"...and the young man calls home the first day and every day for 4 years to say he is pinching himself...

I would submit that for parents who have not been there yet, seeing post after post about the perfect fit can be intimidating/frustrating...IMO it is good to remember there are many more fits (the majority) that are well thought out, well intentioned compromises of some sort...weighing and blending challenges and opportunities...not because they want to, but becausee they have to...hoping that the challenges do not "bite" to deeply and that the young man will make the most of the opportunities presented...that he will grow with his situation.

As this is the case, it is good to remember that for the majority there is a story to be played out...and I would submit that for many, they will not know if they found the perfect fit for some time...maybe after the first or second year...when you really have an opportunity to see how the young man faces his challenges and grows. What may seem like the perfect fit going in may not be so, and a compromise choice might indeed be the perfect fit in the long run...often for reasons one could never have predicted or planned for. Part of this is getting the right blend. Part of this is trusting your young man and the character you have instilled and encouraged in him...to overcome adversity, face challenges and deamons and situations that are not set up for him...and grow.

Certainly we all want the best, certainly we all want to set it up just right...But perhaps it's important to remember that in the end the right/perfect fit might just be your son most anywhere...maybe in the end its the man who makes the opportunity...not just the perfect opportunity that makes the man...

Cool 44
.

Another homerun of many hit by ob44 Smile
H HitaHomer1100+ posts
Good post 44. I am hoping on that. My son is kind of like jbbaseball. He signed with what we all thought was a pretty good fit for him and he was totally happy with that decision - great school academically, close knit good sized campus, very highly ranked DII program etc. etc. Then the coaches leave to go DI, ask son to go with them, he goes. Now, its not as good academically, not as close knit a campus etc. He is thrilled with the baseball and school is fine. Through out the whole process I encouraged him to look at all the factors in each school. But he really just focused on the baseball, the coaches, the facilities. Though he is happy with the baseball, I think he is realizing that those other things were important. I think he is fine, will be fine, will "make the opportunity", but I also think he learned from it as well. People encourage those boys to look at the WHOLE package.
Sorry to say that there isn't a lot I love about the school other than the coaches, its a fun town, and he and his roommate are a GREAT fit.
FutureBack.MomFutureBack.Mom1,000+ posts
O44 ...

There you go again ... making sense of it all.

Thanks.

Our son was very fortunate because he found the best fit for him, and several of the reasons were the same as the first three in my list ... he was not 'sent' to my alma mater ... he elected to go there and had a wonderful time, received a quality education (to be continued), and had the chance to show what he could do and be a contributor from day one of his freshman season.

I know quite a few families whose sons thought they had the right fit but didn't, and it pained the parents deeply to know that it wasn't working out. Another example, I think, of why we as parents need to be so involved in our children's recruitment and decision-making process when it comes to where they end up. In my experience, even with players on son's college team, quite a few boys never truly find the fit, even when they think they have.

And for those who wonder, just because son goes to a parent's alma mater which is close to his home, it doesn't mean it is a bad thing. Every family is different, the dynamics play out differently, and I know that our son wanted to attend a school where he was close enough to home that we could attend his games. Some players want to get farther away from home (and for some, I can understand why) ... ours was not one of those guys. It makes neither decision right nor wrong ... just different.
DE Double Eagle100+ posts
Great observation 044 -- The follow up question might be, how many times was the perfect fit, not the "FIRST" perfect fit. The recruiting process is filled with so many roller coaster rides that those just starting might think we knew from the get go that where son ended up was the perfect fit. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The criteria listed by me is only meant to mean that those items combine to make his school "the perfect fit".
DaddyBoDaddyBo100+ posts
Watching my son go through about 8-9 months of the recruiting roller coaster (and appreciative of every minute)was an emotionally draining experience. Going from a prominent local junior college offer in hand at the beginning of his summer ('07), to being decently recruited by several D-1's in a matter of weeks was pleasantly overwhelming (for he and us). Dad would have been pleased with any of the choices he had...strong academic offer at a nice SEC school (with chance to perform), to fairly strong interest from a top-tier ACC team (alma mater, close to home, girlfriend going there), to even a top Ivy League school late entry.

In the end, the counseling, prayer and thought time given (for his present & future) seemed to pay off after the official visit...as his decision was made for one of the top academic institutions in America, one of the top leadership institutions in the world, and a chance to play for an up and coming D-1 program with a highly respected coaching staff.

Seeing HIM make this decision was what did it for ME (after also being blown away on the official visit Wink)

[GO ARMY!]
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
quote:
The student/athlete will know when a school is the right fit for him/her. It is just a gut feeling that tells you that school XYZ is the place that you want to attend.


As others have said, many players choose the best fit out of the options that they have, but this doesn't necessarily mean it's the perfect fit. My son, for example, had significant interest in two D2 programs because of their baseball programs, campus atmosphere, academics, etc., but neither showed any interest in him despite his repeated contact and unofficial visits to both schools. Ironically, while the D2's ignored him, three D1's actively recruited him. One D1 was an absolutely horrendous fit, the second D1 was a good fit in some ways, and the third D1 was a good fit in other ways (but not in every way). The schools that probably would have been the best fits for him (in his mind, at least) were out of the mix, so he chose the best fit for him, given his options.

But isn't life like that? We marry someone who is wonderful in many ways, but not in every way. Perhaps hubby brings home roses every week, but forgets to take the trash out or regularly leaves his underwear on the floor. We choose a job that best utilizes our work skills, but perhaps doesn't offer optimal pay, the best benefits, or enough vacation time. Maybe a friend is always there for you in a crunch, but has an irritating habit that really grates on your nerves.

We all play with the cards we are dealt, and learning how to become content in an "imperfect" situation like college can help us prepare for the bigger challenges and curveballs that life most definitely will throw our way. Imperfect fits can indeed be the "best fits" of all....
Last edited by Infield08
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Good stuff here in this topic.

The right fit also includes going where you are wanted and feel comfortable that may include the weather, location, academics, fanbase, football program, coaching staff food in the cafeteria, female population, whatever. You can never find everything that you want, so you have to decide what is the most important. It's trying to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together and although you stress over how your family will know, he will know if you discuss all beforehand. And yes, most often you won't really know until a year or two down the line, but you also will know that you did the best in trying to figure out that puzzle the best you could with the tools you had to work with.
I know some players that gave up baseball because the school they wanted their degree at didn't recruit them. I know some who couldn't care where they went as long as they played baseball. It's up to your player to decide what's teh best route to take and that in turn would make it the right fit for him, but maybe not for someone else.
Last edited by TPM
OLDSLUGGER8OLDSLUGGER81,000+ posts
Where would my son go to college for an education if he wasn't a baseball player?

Either where he is at or a place that specializes in PGA club pro's in the south.

Well, up here, we have Herb Page, and British Open champ Ben Curtis, currently at the Ryder Cup, and the boy works/studies at the facility.

Is that a good fit so far? I don't know, but ask every ELITE team that lost to Fresno????

You see, individual talent and personal baseball goals exceed where one is "camped"
rz1rz15,000+ posts
Sometimes on this site we throw around the "good fit" phrase because it "feels good", but without much thought. When do you know you really have a "good fit"?

I need a new pair of shoes, I go to the store and try some on, one pair looks cool, the pair I always wanted, I walk the carpet and they feel "ok" but I know I can break them in. I then turn to the salesman and say "this is a good fit" I'll take them. A week later I have a blisters the size of a half dollars on both feet and I can't take the shoes back.

Unfortunately if you swap a few words in the above scenario, that is the recruiting process for some student/athletes. I guess my only thought on this thread is that don't get caught in the "fluff" of your decision. What you see may not be what you get. Sit down with your kid and break it down using examples of experiences in your life where you might have jumped the gun because you were thinking "now" instead of looking at the expanded picture.

This is not a scare tactic, rather a heads up for families that are experiencing this for the first time. Remember that first car you bought, you thought it was the cats meow, but after you drove it a while you found out you may have not done all your homework and there was a better deals out there if you would have looked deeper.

My son came home last week with diploma in hand, and said with a big grin, "That school choice work out, didn't it".

It took 4.5 years, but now I can say for certain it was a "good fit".
Last edited by rz1
fanofgamefanofgame5,000+ posts
rz1,

congrats on the young mans degree!!!!!

My son told me he was happy last night with his decision to go to a JC.He discussed his feelings about it and told me it was the right decision but that there were things he didnt like about it as well. But for the most part at this time hes happy. I guess we are really back to square one with recruiting as he will be back looking in two years granting he makes the team.
I think not everyone finds the perfect fit in all areas. I just want my son to feel content for the most part, like the guys hes playing with, the coaches, likes the school, professors, etc but there will be bad days for all of them no mater where they are just as there are for all of us. Thats part of growing up.
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
My view is that there were at least 50 colleges or more that my son would love to play at. We didn't over do the analitical analysis. How can you get a valid conclusion when you are dealing with what you think you know and not facts. The education,the location and a few other facts are the only thing you really know. You think you know things like the coaches, the team and how you will fit in. If you look at college rosters over a few years you will see most if not all have tremendous changes. Coaches leave, players leave and so many variables.
Location was our number 1 concern. It is a constant. Other things that were important have changed in the 3 years my son has been at college.
After 3 years my son has seen colleges that he loved to play at. He loved College of Charleston. There coach just left to coach Auburn. He had a very successful program but saw an opportunity. Anyone who researches the college scene will see that changes are always occurring and these changes can affect the decision that you laboured over to make.
The coach that made you all those promises can be gone in a puff of smoke and a Hi Ho Silver.
Last edited by BobbleheadDoll
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
Ah good point BHD and my point exactly. We told son that who was his coach was important, but that could and can change from year to year, so make sure there are many other things that make you happy as well.
I just have to say Eek, when I hear someone state that their son chose the school for baseball only.
B BobbleheadDoll5,000+ posts
Over the last 4-5 years I have followed some 500 college ball players from Canada. I knew several personally and others just by reputation. I can tell you that many do not get past 2 years. I listen to stories of bitterness and disappointment from the ones I do know. Most left with great expectations , after all, they were the studs on their teams. Mnay were great ball players but for a multitude of reasons they come home with their dreams cut short. the biggest reason is lack of playing time and financial. Many are cut, many by a new coaching staff. Many from injury and disolutionment.
I also find it scary that peolpe don't see the big picture. I didn't see it either except for the fact that I knew so many players who talked to me about their experiences both good and bad.
I am going to a ball game at 2:00 pm today in Buffalo. A Canadian college team is playing a D1 team in the area. The Canadian team has several ex US players on it and has always had several over the years. A couple of them I have know for years and they had great experiences for the most part but there were some bad dips along the way.
I is important to have guared optimizm when dealing with college sports. Get signed to a college is great but be prepared for the ups and downs
Last edited by BobbleheadDoll
rz1rz15,000+ posts
quote:
Originally posted by TPM:
I just have to say Eek, when I hear someone state that their son chose the school for baseball only.

I agree that I feel the same at times

However, many times the statement son chose the school for baseball only may be a somewhat simplistic statement that has more behind it. The longer I've been on this site the more convinced that many parents who post have kids who have had more college options. As a result they bring secondary criteria and a number of options that may not apply to all players situations.

Sometimes a player may only have one option to play baseball and go to school thus son chose the school for baseball only

Maybe the answer is so simple that a "good fit" is where the player is happy, content, and getting an education. Regardless if they did choose the school for baseball reasons only, whether they admit or not, they are getting an education and that is the biggest part of the equation because baseball as a career after college is a longshot and the real prize is a degree.

So if it was for baseball only, GREAT, because if it wasn't for baseball they may not have pursued college at all.
Last edited by rz1
TPMTPMHSBaseballweb Member since 2003
There are many reasons why people do what they do, but if you have an opportunity to have a few options, choose where you think you will be happy, not just in baseball. Take away the fluff as you mentioned and consider all aspects if baseball doesn't work out. JMO. I ma not talking aobut those that have had situations that would limit their opportunities (injury, grades, financial hardships).

There is a parent who wrote to me that their son was offered more scholarship opportunities than the school he chose, only because if things didn't work out he would be happy at the school. Those are the things I am talking about. Now more than ever, with new tranfer rules, you have to consider more than the baseball program. JMO.

I think that you were aware of what I meant, but have further explained for clarification.
P puma1500+ posts
Son picked college for baseball. IF he wasn't playing, he might be happier somewhere else, but he could cross that bridge...they don't have academic "sit-out" rules and if his playing days were over, he would naturally seek a school that represented his interests, as he did when he chose his current university for baseball.
J jbbaseball500+ posts
TRhit-
I guess we were in the minority.

Fully agree with you that player's email should be on ALL forms (college apps, recruit questionaires).

When my son was younger he had a pretty goofy, tacky screen name/email address. One thing we did force him to do was to change it to reflect his name. Wanted to make sure his initial impression with coaches, college admissions people was a positive one.
J JohnnieM10+ posts
I could not agree more that the absolute #1 factor in choosing a school/baseball program is THE INTEGRITY OF THE COACHING STAFF!! I don't care how good the academics are---or how 'big' the school name is --or the prestige that is associated with a baseball program---without solid human beings running the team---it's not worth the time and effort your son will put into it!
Infield08Infield081,000+ posts
* Someone who keeps his word and follows through on any promises or commitments that he makes, even when it requires sacrifice on his part

* Someone who is honest in his assessment of your son during recruiting, highlighting not only your son's strengths but also areas in which he needs to improve

* Someone who does not promise the moon and then ends up delivering somewhat waaaaaay different

* Someone who leads by example and models exemplary behavior and speech

* Someone who has a good reputation with former and current players and parents
infielddadinfielddad10,000+ posts
bb10,
what a probative question! What a difficult one to answer.
I think Infield 08 outlines very solid points.
It is important to recognize that one size will not "fit all."
From where I sit, the most important would be a coach who is willing to make a commitment to your son based on your son working harder than he ever worked before, and then following through on that commitment, no matter what the sacrifice.
Where I also feel Infield 08 is very insightful and right on point is the reputation with former players.
If you see former players returning to coach, returning to watch the team play, returning on Alumni day, those are major hints this is a coach they respect.
They may not have loved that coach every minute of every day he was driving them to be the player they never knew they could be. But they respect those coaches because, looking in the rear view mirror, they know.
Finally, when you learn that coaches and former players stay connected and the coaches support the player when the player cannot do anything more for them on the field, those are traits you want in the coach for your son.
Last edited by infielddad
observer44observer441,000+ posts
.
While I agree with the points presented about the importance and characteristics of a coach with integrity...and their critical role in fit...

Without any attempt to hijack the thread, I'd take a bit of a different view....

While a coach can be a great help...as players mature, at some point the player has to become bigger than the coach...and bigger than the program...while still being an interal and critical part of the "team".

Meaning that at some point a player has to take responsibility for his own destiny rather than leaving it in the hands of the good/bad coach or the level of the program, or anything else.

For those who rise, nothing stops their progress, not even poor coaches. Good coaches are a great tool, bad coaches are a nuisance. Players on the way up learn to adapt, adjust, learn to refuse to use coaches as an easy way out of self responsibility. As a result great players come from and rise from all sorts of programs and situations...it's character, it's maturity...not just coaches with integrity.

Cool 44
.
Last edited by observer44

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